I can’t even tell you how creepy this disease is. I have a vague memory of a scene in a children’s movie where the black goo of evil gets all over the bad guy and suffocates him. This suffocating image expresses this pervasive covering of perfectionism for me.
I’ve been numb to it for years. I believed perfectionism was someone else’s issue not mine. But the truth is because of shame I have lived with this mindset of perfectionism for as long as I can remember.
(quote credit: Christine Caine)
I’m peeling off the layers of perfectionism. It’s messy. And I will make mistakes. It’s painful to look at the gaps in my way of doing life that used to be covered over by this lie I believed.
But Jesus said all things are possible to him who believes. So my response is I do believe, help me in my unbelief.
This means being honest and talking through the hard places of change; moving toward growth and being willing to do things without having my act all together.
This vulnerability feels a little like the emperor’s new clothes except where the Emperor thought he had a lovely outfit, I know I’m going to be exposed. (Fortunately for all, this is just a metaphor!)
I choose to be brave and take a tentative step forward in my one creative life.
My heart is ready to risk. It’s been hidden away, self-protected, falsely secure.
For years I’ve read verses that tell me Truth about who God sees me to be. But I have been like the person the apostle James describes who sees their face in a mirror but then forgets what they look like when they turn away from the mirror.
In other words, I haven’t lived out the words of life and truth. I’ve chosen to stay stuck, allowing the enemy of all that is good and true to hold me captive in an imaginary cell of my own acceptance.
What about you? I know I am not alone in this unfortunate trap. I’ve learned just enough about how to get out and away from the slime of perfectionism that I can hold my hand out to you and say
let’s go this way together!
Here’s what I want to do. Let’s get a group together of those who are willing to drop the facade, who are willing to engage with what we’re all learning along the Way.
I’m starting a podcast at the beginning of August where I’ll share quotes, facts, resources, challenges and connection points. I will also be launching an e-course (available on my website) focusing on letting go and leaning in. There will be a spiritual component to the activities in the course because I believe strongly that we are all on a spiritual journey while we are here on this planet. Where we are journeying is the important question. We’ll talk about that too.
In the meantime, let me know either here or on the Learning Along the Way Facebook page that you want to peel off perfectionism too.
Let’s do this!