Are You Hanging onto Fear?

Two days this week I came to the computer with ideas about being brave and found I had nothing to say. I was stuck. I told myself its ok come back later, but of course, later never came. I didn’t guard time to write, so time wasn’t there.

I wrestled with why I challenged myself to work through this devotional 100 Days to Brave? I questioned my sanity, my purpose, my raison d’ etre (five years of studying French peeks out on occasion)

I came to an existential crisis point. Why do I want to tell you to let go of what’s holding you back and lean into the unique creation you are? Why do I want to encourage you to be brave, to learn what that looks like in your life, to take a first step?

I want to help women connect with the passions God has placed in them for their good, for other’s good, and most of all, for God’s glory. Click To Tweet

I have been hanging onto fear. Fear that no one will care about this message. Fear that these words go no where, that writing and speaking this message is a waste of time and money. Fear that I’m not listening to God’s Word accurately and I’m doing this for my own selfish gain. Fear of resistance, of ridicule, of rejection.

Getting honest about fear is a bit scary; as I continue to learn about myself through the lens of the Enneagram, it makes more sense why I get scared. At my core, I don’t want to feel pain. I want to have fun. I avoid conflict because conflict is painful and looking at the underside of my emotions is hard work.

But God.

My two favorite words in Scripture. Best search I ever worked through; try it.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I came to my time with Him this morning without an agenda. I simply wanted to sit in His Presence and have coffee with Jesus. After I read the portions of Scripture in my Bible reading plan, I read today’s entry for Jesus Calling. 

Take time to be still in My Presence. The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always proffer to you.

I got comfortable in my chair, held my warm cup of coffee and sat quietly looking outside through the sliding glass door into our garden space. I watched the changing morning light illumine the persimmon tree in our neighbor’s yard, the orange-red fruit standing out against the green leaves. I noticed a finch search the feeder for just the right seed. What caught my attention was a hummingbird lighting on the bubbling water feature. It dipped its beak into the water hovering slightly above the water spilling over the slick turquoise orb, then all of a sudden, the hummingbird sat in the center of the bubbler and began to take a bath.

The freedom, the enthusiasm, the fearlessness all spoke to me in the hummingbird’s hesitation, then the jumping in. As I watched, these lyrics crept up to my consciousness

So let go my soul and trust in Him

And just like the shifting morning light, the awareness of my fears paled in the Light of this phrase.

So let go my soul and trust in Him

I was being invited forward. Come, Further up and Further in.

The invitation is for you too, my friend.

I see your face in my mind; your eyes rimmed with tears you’re blinking back; your brave smile trembling.

He is for you, just like He’s for me. God wants His daughters to walk in freedom; to be able to live as He has designed each of us; moment by moment learning from Him the unforced rhythms of grace.

The invitation to Come to Me isn’t a one time invitation. Jesus invites us again and again and again. You might take your eyes off of Him for a myriad of reasons; Come to Me remains the same, simple invitation. 

Learn from Me, watch how I do it. 

I’ve been hanging on to fear. I’ve been clinging to things that have weighed me down, hindering me from the life purpose God has given me. 

Right now, I’m choosing to be brave, to share my inner struggles to help you see you’re not alone in yours. The beauty is the precious invitation to Come is whispering at the edge of your conscious thought; listen and respond.

Let go and lean in.

You won’t regret it.

Perhaps you’re wondering how to get started? Or how to get back?  

Call a friend. Message me. Comment below (I read them before they get published so if you don’t want your comment published, tell me.) 

Bravely take the first step.

I leave you with this beautiful offering. Enjoy.

It is Well