Learning Along The Way

Saturday’s Soul Food

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Our community group had homework this week.  I wasn’t there that evening (I was attending an event in San Luis Obispo), but the Hubster went and he took the homework commitment seriously (he’s a first born by the way).

In Gary Thomas’ book Sacred Pathways, he identifies nine different ways individuals typically find connection with God. Each way is explained more thoroughly in his book but here is a brief list with identifying characteristics. Connecting with God is a form of worship.

Naturalists. Loving God Outdoors

Sensates. Loving God with the Senses (music, art, cooking, etc)

Ritualists. Loving God through ritual and symbol

Ascetics. Loving God in solitude and simplicity

Activists. Loving God through confrontation

Caregivers. Loving God by loving others

Enthusiasts. Loving God with mystery and celebration

Contemplatives. Loving God through adoration

Intellectuals. Loving God with the mind

Thomas provides the thought and explanation that we will have a preferred way of connecting with God; loving God, that we typically gravitate toward. Each one is an aspect of worship. Developing your awareness to your preferred way of connection is good because then you can readily seek that out when you are potentially feeling disconnected from God.

The challenge for us in our community group was to be intentional to either connect with God this week in our preferred way or to make effort to connect with God in a different way than we might typically.

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The good news for me? The Hubster wanted to try to connect with God differently which also happened to be in the way I typically experience His Presence; outdoors.

So our Saturday afternoon included a picnic and a hike in an area he had seen on a bike ride and thought I’d appreciate.

He was spot on.

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It was quiet. We saw no other humans. We walked in silence, listening to the birds and the oak leaves crunch under our feet.

We stopped on the trail to examine this particular tree…

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It looked dead. But there were these pods at the ends of some of the branches.  I said I think it is some kind of nut tree. So of course, I pulled one off and peeled it apart.

Chestnut.

It’s fall alright. Even though the temperature is still low 80s here, the chestnut trees know what they’re supposed to do at this time of year.

Being outdoors and witnessing seasons; being reminded that change is a part of God’s plan for us here on earth was food for my soul.

The jury’s still out whether the Hubster found connecting with God outdoors satisfying.

 

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How do you like to feed your soul?

Friday Funday!

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I’ll be spending time this morning with friends for coffee and chatting. My hope is to be an ambassador for the Kingdom and for the glory of the King.

He is slowly changing my perspective on time I spend with people. It’s not all about me or all about fun.

But in the midst of being with friends, fun is a good thing to have. Jesus had lots of fun. That’s why He was accused of being a drunkard and a party animal.  He did turn water into wine for His first miracle you know.

So here are some fun images for your Friday.  I hope they at least make you smile!

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A sweet loved on Lion who might secretly be an artist when no one is looking.

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A budding musician next to the Hubster and the Baboo. 21 years later the musician has his own baboo and the pictured babe is away at college. Time flies. Oh and the Hubster no longer has the long hair…

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This is a must for your kitchen if you like spicy food. Go buy it now. Add it to everything savory. You’ll thank me for this recommendation.

Rest for Your Soul

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rest for your soul

I shared this photo yesterday with the women of Alameda MOPS. I was privileged to bring them a few words of encouragement for a very busy season; early motherhood.

Preparing to share about Embracing Rest meant I needed to slow down in my own life and make space for spiritual rest and renewal.

Learning to know when to work hard and when to let up and rest is a big part of living in tandem with God.

When Jesus commissioned his 12 disciples to go out and teach, He also went out to teach. Jesus invited all who heard to come to Him;

“Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

The yoke is meant for close connection and for training. It is also how a stronger helps the weaker to accomplish the task. When oxen were yoked together they were paired by strength; a weaker one was put in the yoke alongside a stronger, more experienced ox.

I like how Eugene Peterson says it in The Message: “Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with Me and work with Me–watch how I do it. learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Jesus knows how physically and spiritually tired we can be. And He offers us a different Way.

If we keep company with Him, we’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

And we will find rest for our souls.

Living in Tandem Isn’t Flashy

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It’s Day 21 of #write31days and I feel a bit like I’m on a long distance bike ride.  It’s not always cute like this picture; it’s just what you do. Just keep pedaling.

It’s rather like living in tandem.

Oswald Chambers wrote of Living in Tandem too. He often wrote about discipleship and discipline.  Being a learner and demonstrating what you’ve learned. He phrased it this way:

“We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently.

But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus.”

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I’ve read and re-read this book. My thoughts and way of living have been shaped by Oswald’s devotional thoughts. Can you see how many times I’ve been impacted by these particular words?

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We can all be good at starting something. But it’s been said that the life of a Christ follower is more like a marathon than a sprint. Eugene Peterson wrote a book whose title also speaks to Living in Tandem:  A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. His writing encouraged me years ago to recognize that the change I desired to see in myself is promised but not on my timeline. Change comes by God and in His timing; which is always perfect but outside our 24/7 time frame!

Life is so very daily you see. We sometimes lose perspective. If we’re doing this all in our own strength we are likely to also lose heart along with perspective.

Learning to live in tandem with the One who made you takes time and perseverance.  When the following words first stood out to me it was 1998.

“We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes.”

God is Present and is willing to give you strength to keep moving forward through this day and toward His heart. It’s not flashy but it’s more than enough.

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From where does our help come? It comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. 

A Change in Perception

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As a life coach I’ve had the privilege of learning about the power of perception. Our minds are amazing creations. So complex, so creative, so essential, so powerful.

As we perceive something, (see, interpret, etc.) our perception influences our way of thinking. If we form a thought once there is an imprint. But if we repeat that thought our brain creates a pathway of connection. And the more we think that thought the stronger the pathway. This forms our mindset.

A mindset frames how we respond to any situation in which we find ourselves.  The amazing thing is we don’t even realize we’re responding from this place because our brain chooses the reinforced pathways. It’s like taking the easy, familiar way home. You just do it without thinking.

You’ve heard of fixating on something right? It’s all you can think about?  The thing you’re fixating upon and the way you’re thinking about it (positive or negative) is also a way of reinforcing your thought pattern, your mindset. Or if you attended school at some point in your life, you had to memorize some list of facts. Math facts or grammar rules or state capitols. To memorize is the process of creating those reinforced pathways in our brain.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s in that place we are strengthening our mind set about any number of things: a person, an attitude toward something like broccoli or more widespread like social mores. If something has been hard, or traumatic what we tell ourselves about the experience is also part of establishing our mindset.

Now here’s the best part of all this great scientific neurological information: God’s Word already speaks to this! What?! Yes indeed.

In Paul’s letter to the Romans he contrasts what we focus our minds upon in this way: 8:5-6

“For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.”

In the margin of my Bible I wrote the question What is my mindset?

If you struggle like I do to think rightly about yourself, God’s Word speaks to this too!

“Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

I can’t fully capture in words the freedom that has come to me and continues to unfold because of stopping the crazy thinking I heard and holding each statement up against that list.

Like what you ask? A thing I heard a lot growing up: “This is all your fault!” What I have told myself: “I am is not good enough”. So I developed a warped mindset about myself and have lived out of perfectionism and performance for approval for decades. Decades. And in the places I haven’t achieved my desired result? I tell myself things I would NEVER speak toward another human being. I know I’m not alone.

When I catch myself going down that familiar mental abuse path, I am quicker now to put up a Stop Sign on my thought path and hold up that thought to the list:

Is this true?

Is this a noble thought?

Is this accurate?

Is this a pure thought? Would I be comfortable sharing it with the world on social media?

Is this a lovely way to view myself? Or someone else?

Is this an admirable character trait?

Is this excellent or worthy of praise?

I don’t have to go through the entire list to see that my negative self talk doesn’t line up. I want to think God’s thoughts for others, but as Jesus rightly said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.”

If I leave my perception of myself as it has been, then I am out of line with God’s thoughts about me and others. This awareness has come slowly and so is the internal change. But it’s so much better now than when I first started on this path of living in tandem.

The power of Christ within His followers is life giving. We can change the way we think, the way we respond. I know this is true because God has done great things re-tooling my mindset over the years of looking into His Word, of asking for His help and healing, of being “transformed by the renewing of my mind.” (Romans 12:2)

If you find yourself responding to a new circumstance in a way you don’t want to that’s the place to plant a Stop Sign for your brain. You can create a new pathway to think.

Think on these things…

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When Enthusiasm is AWOL

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I’d love to think everyone deals with all the same issues that keep me from gaining ground and persevering. But our culture shows us so many examples of beautiful, fit, perfectly tanned & made up people that I feel like I’m the only one who battles with myself.

I’m a great starter.  I gather the needed materials, enthusiasm and spunk and dive in regardless of how impossible something is. My creative activity shelves are great examples. As is my collection of modes of exercise gear. I own lots of great cookbooks along with the appropriate tools to accomplish a variety of culinary delights. I own all the necessary tools to keep my nails healthy and colorful.

None of these things are life changing but I tend to speak of what isn’t instead of embracing what is. If I only focus on the half empty instead of the half full I get bogged down by my perception.

half full?

So how do I deal with myself when my enthusiasm is AWOL (Absent without official leave)?

Well what I know doesn’t motivate me is adding shame onto my distracted behavior. That only serves to suck me down into a vortex of spinning emotionally and nothing gets done.  Not even something fun because I am overcome with guilt because of the shame I heap on myself for not staying the course!  Yuck!

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I captured this from a recent Costco magazine; they featured the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. I highly recommend it.  I’ve read two of her four books and am currently reading her most recent Rising Strong which is all about how to get back up from a fall when you’ve dared greatly. I have lots of experience with the falls; embracing my way of doing life and celebrating what is is a little more of a challenge.

Learning who I really am instead of trying to fit into how other people think I should be has been the unfolding adventure of my life.  Embracing who I am and how I work as a catalyst, a starter gives me the freedom to do things with the bursts of enthusiasm that overtake me on regular occasions but not daily.  Being ok with the fact I start and then do something else and then circle back around to what I started earlier is hard when I tell myself negative statements about that distracted work flow.

Many years ago, after lamenting this way I do life, a dear friend shared a terrific book with me that really inspired me to lean into my roles of wife, mother and influencer of lives. The author became one of my favorites as she consistently pointed to God’s Word and spoke of both discipline and grace. Elisabeth Elliot is now rejoicing moment by moment in Jesus’s Presence. I will be eternally grateful for the wisdom she shared. The book I reference is The Shaping of a Christian Family. Nestled within the book is this poem that has encouraged me again and again:

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

When I have found myself slipping into the downward internal critic heyday, I am able to stop myself and simply say Do The Next Thing. My enthusiasm sneaks back in when I’ve relaxed and reminded myself of the truth that I’m not in this alone. I have a great high priest who is well acquainted with me and loves me just the same.

Isn’t that a way to put a muzzle on the internal critic? That makes me enthusiastic just thinking about it!

Embracing Rest

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I like slow mornings. I have learned that though after years of setting my alarm to get up in the dark before my family so that I could

Be still and know…

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Now that I don’t have to get up early to get ahead of the morning rush, I can sit in stillness & quiet and be filled.

The need for filling is the same though. My soul needs to know and experience the Presence of God as much now as then. The filling has different uses in this season.

As a mom of littles I was desperate for a sense of peace in the middle of tears, diapering, sibling squabbles, meals that were objected to, misplaced special friends at bedtime. I was exhausted from all the giving of myself. What I thought I needed was more sleep, which of course was interrupted almost nightly by someone.

I shared my frustrations and exhaustion with a group of moms at the park one day. One seasoned mom who had been invited by another quietly asked if she might share an idea that might help.  Since I was desperate I quickly said yes please.

She said “Imagine you are a cup and each one of your family is a straw in your cup. Picture adding a straw for every responsibility outside your family: work outside your home, volunteering in the community, at church, extended family, etc.  Not all the straws need to draw from your cup daily but some do. And when all the straws need to draw from you at once what will happen?”  It was easy to imagine the cup being drained dry. I felt it. A lot.

You have to be filled up before you can be helpful to others.

But how?

The answer looks differently for each of us and will look different in various, changing seasons.  The first and foremost way though is to start with agreeing that you have a need for rest.

Embracing Rest instead of believing you can be all things to all people in your own strength is the key to finding the best ways of filling your soul.

For many years the most I could do was a variety of little things throughout the days. I love to listen to music of all kinds but it took a comment from my mother to point out that I wasn’t sharing my love for music with my littles. She asked “Why don’t you have music on all day anymore? Your kids would probably love it!” Her question gave me an idea. I started playing music that was upbeat when we needed to get ready to head out for the day and when we did our chores. When it was a quieter time of day I played music of classical composers that I enjoy. Little by little the music had a comforting affect on all of us.

When my littles were transitioning out of naps I still needed a break so we instituted rest time which everyone needs. I put a digital clock in the bedroom and on a 3 x 5 card wrote the numbers of the time that rest would be over. When the numbers matched, they could get up. Calling it nap time to a 3 year old was disastrous. Calling it rest time and giving him the power to know when it was over was money. And ironically he usually fell asleep amid the books on his bed! And of course I got the much needed quiet as well!

I had to learn how to get my cup filled up at the beginning of the day too. For years I had set an alarm to get up early enough to avoid rushing around in the morning to get out the door for work. I hate having to rush. But I had stopped doing that when I began the role of stay at home mom thinking I had all the time in the world and could make my own schedule. Ha! It took me too long to recognize needing more sleep wasn’t the only way to rest.

When I began to set my alarm to get up before my family it was a huge shock to my system. So I adjusted slowly by getting up just a few minutes before their waking pattern so I could get a cup of coffee and read a short devotional.

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These are the three that have filled me up over the years. Such great inspiration and Word focused encouragement for the day is found in each of these. I didn’t read all three of them each day… I’ve just lived a lot of years!

Those few moments each morning were just enough to remember that I wasn’t on my own in this job of being Momma. Learning to go to the Source of wisdom & strength daily was filling enough. God multiplied my feeble coming on those sleepy mornings. He changed my priorities from selfish to self care. If He did that for me I am confident He will do that for you…if you ask.

And I am a different woman; embracing rest He offers moment by moment has been key to living in tandem with Him.

In Quietness & Trust

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In the pre-dawn light all is gray and still. Waking up before the birds begin to sing is not the norm for me but this new Saturday routine requires early rising. The air is crisp, speaking of the changing season.

It’s my idea to get up this early; the Hubster would have been content to sleep. But after all this writing about tandem cycling I want to get on the bike. But today I want to ride my own road bike. Like most things that have an early morning start it’s best to get everything set out the night before. The Hubster had taken care of the bike pre-checks last night but I neglected all the pre-ride prep until this morning and that made us late.

Late for what?

I had it in my head we would ride early enough to not have to deal with many people, either on bikes or in cars. But as the water flowed into the Camelbak I saw the clock and an internal chatter began. Harsh words were being thrown at me by the Internal Critic. It seemed every step I took I made a mistake or forgot I needed to do one more thing before we left.  I was getting more and more agitated internally and it was leaking out in my actions and distracting me.

Meanwhile, the Hubster is doing his pre-ride prep without any issues; he graciously starts helping me with mine. No harsh words, no impatience, no sighing from him. He’s happy we’re going out on our bikes!

Once we get out the door, the voice of the Internal Critic gets louder. I have a shifting system that requires coasting when shifting gears. If I do pedal while shifting, the chain can get messed up. Well guess what I just did? So the criticism gets louder and is nearly deafening and nearly every ounce of fun drains out of my experience.

But among the loud noise in my head a still small voice whispers to me.

In quietness & trust is your strength.

I literally said “What?” out loud. The Hubster is far enough ahead he didn’t hear me thankfully. The whisper is clearer.

In quietness & trust is your strength.

Thank You Lord. Your reminder is perfectly timed. I sigh. And relax. And pedal.

Friday Funday!

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As far back as I can remember, Friday has been a day full of excited anticipation.  School days were coming to an end for the week.  When I was a student and later a teacher, Fridays held a lightness to them; the weekend was beginning. Assemblies that got us out of our regular routines were held on Fridays.  If at all possible, field trips were planned for Fridays. Class parties were scheduled for Friday afternoons. Adults look forward to the break in routine as much as children. And so it is Friday.

 

My morning view

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This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

How do you express gladness? For me, my great expression of gladness is in appreciation of God’s handiwork.

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Icelandic poppies in Canada in July

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Beach walking in August; see the black dot just beyond the break on the left? It’s a seal. The birds and seals were enjoying the harvest of a school of fish apparently.

Here is another way you might express gladness…

The Hubster is a percussionist and will express musical gladness wherever he finds sounds he enjoys.

 

We are planning a bike ride for early Saturday morning so a late night out is off the table for our Friday Funday.

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Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever.

 

What about you? How will you celebrate this day?

Trust Building

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Yesterday when I was writing I had a bunch of thoughts running through my head about the topic of building trust. But I didn’t have a lot of time to capture those ideas.

Today as I sit here with lots of time and face a blank screen, I can’t seem to corral the thoughts that were running around yesterday!  It could be the difference in locations. Yesterday I was sitting at our kitchen table in complete silence. Today because of our sharing a car and morning, midday and evening obligations I am using a Starbucks as my writing place. Can you say DISTRACTION???

Not the most ideal setting but here goes. Picking up from yesterday…

Trust is like a muscle. It has to be used to grow. And it has to be strained to get stronger.

Some of you may be like me, with under used trust. We put our trust in what we can do with our hands and minds.

One of the hardest ways for me to trust God has been in the little things; I’ve had my responsibilities: schedules, homework, my work and housework and, and, and…why would I bother God with all of those things?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on you own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your path.

Unpack this verse a bit with me.

We’re told to Trust in the Lord.  How?  With ALL our heart (not part, not distracted, ALL)

What else? Don’t lean on, rely on, depend on your own understanding.  Why not? I don’t have the whole picture. I don’t see the longview, don’t know the results, don’t know the implications…God who is all knowing and all powerful does.

What else? In ALL your ways ACKNOWLEDGE (recognize He’s there, thank Him, talk with Him) and He will make straight your path.

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Trust is developed through experience with someone. How do we learn to trust God?

No Sunday School answers please.

How do we learn to trust God?

In hard places. In hard circumstances. We don’t need trust when life is easy. When things are going smoothly we don’t see our needs.

Perhaps that is why James said Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith(trust) produces endurance…

It’s not easy to trust when it hurts, when we are being strained and stretched. There are so many places in God’s Word that He encourages us to trust Him, to come to Him, to seek Him. He is faithful. He is all knowing. He is all powerful. He is full of mercy and grace.

He is trustworthy.

Go ahead, exercise the muscle of trust.

Follow Me…

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