Learning Along The Way

How Do You Cope When Your Heart is Heavy?

By

News that causes you to gasp.

Skies that are acrid with smoke. Possessions, homes, pets, LIVES lost.

Text messages and phone calls that shift the earth off its known axis; from where I sit anyway. Cancer.

All three things happened Friday. My heart sank like a rock into water. Heavy for all the hard things.

How do you cope when your heart is heavy?

Circumstances like these may be our training ground; seeing the hurts of others and feeling the weight of their losses can cause a desire to respond, to help in some way. What if we don’t know what’s the best thing to do?

Pray.

I know there is at least one person reading this whose response to that suggestion was something like:” that’s not doing anything. What am I supposed to DO?” How do I know that? Because that was me.

I’d hear a person who had been a Christ-follower longer than me tell a group of women to pray and because of where I was in my faith journey, I didn’t think that was as important as getting out and gathering donations or making meals or whatever physical thing seemed like the best next thing to do.

Don’t get me wrong: physical actions are often the thing that praying can lead to. But doing doesn’t shift your heavy heart. 

Doing without praying distracts your heart. Doing alone won’t lift your heart.

Only God can lift your/my heavy heart. Talking to Him, telling Him what is weighing your heart down is exactly the place to begin.

It is a brave step to admit your heart is heavy. I’ve tried to go about my regular life without acknowledging the weightiness. I am cranky, grumpy and not nice to be around. Often when I’ve distracted myself from what’s weighing down my heart, it’s still bugging me but the reality isn’t uppermost in my mind so I can’t explain why I’m out of sorts, which only makes it all worse.

Let’s be brave, admit hard things weigh down our hearts and ask God to help us. We can look to His Word for passages of encouragement. Peter encourages us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us. The Psalms say He is the lifter of my head; that He is a shield about me; that He is a strong tower that I may run into to.

My favorite passage?

Come to Me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Full disclosure: I’m a cry-er. God has wired me with empathy as my number one strength. I feel deeply, so when I pray I am often weeping over the cares of others. But when I am done praying, my soul is unburdened. I’ve given those cares to the Only One who can truly do anything useful. Sometimes He invites me to take an action, like write a card, send a text, give resources. Sometimes He simply gives me rest for my soul.

What’s Keeping Your Head Down, Girlfriend?

By

Saturday I created a writer’s retreat for myself.

The Hubster was in Chicago visiting our son, so instead of being Eeyore and saying ‘Woe is me I am all alone” I planned to use the day for writing and reading.

I went to the store ahead of time, got some healthy and not so healthy snacks, veggies for soup, and came home for the weekend.

Intentional alone time to be quiet, to listen, and to capture the thoughts that percolated to the top.

I have to say it was a successful day!

But like so many things I do, I was focused with my head down, and I almost missed this:

I was stunned that I had been so consumed with what I was doing, my head down, focused on what I thought was most important at the time, that this almost escaped my view.

So I watched. He got my attention.

It was a glorious sunset. God painted the sky and I watched the colors shift with the changing light.

My perspective remained the same; He shifted the world as if to remind me that what I can see is not all there is.

I wonder, what else might I be missing when my head is down, focused on what I deem important in the moment? When daily routines require attention, do I miss the wave of a neighbor while I sweep? Or the flutter of a butterfly around the flowers?

There have been times when I’ve been “too busy” to reach out to a friend when the Spirit prompts me, only later to learn she was grieving and feeling alone at the time when I didn’t lift my head from my work.

This begs the question: Whose time is it anyway? My time? My way? My work?

I sigh, realizing I missed an opportunity to be God’s gift of encouragement to another.

I share this to help us both remember our time isn’t really ours; time is gift God gives us to steward for His glory and others’ good.

Teach us to number our days that we might present to You a heart of wisdom. 

Daily we have opportunities to be about the Father’s business. There is a lot of need for good to be done. But the question is, are we doing instead of being? Are we so focused on the work that we forget the relational components?

I know there are seasons when quiet moments to simply be still are few and far between. I know it can feel like the noise from all the needs is making you feel under so much pressure that your ears might bleed. I’ve been in that place. But God. My two favorite words in scripture. But God invites us to be still and know that He is God. We are not.

If we listen to the invitation, take the risk and press pause, tune our ears to His voice of love, acceptance, Presence, we just might be renewed. We just might be filled up to be poured out for the good of others. We can’t keep pouring out without being filled up again.

What’s keeping your head down, girlfriend?

Does lifting your head sound impossible? Do you see only obstacles instead of opportunities? Do you need options?

I’m a trained listener, a person who journeys with others who need and want a guide as they learn along the Way.

Curious to know more? I’d love to hear from you.

 

Are You Too Busy to Count?

By

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave and sharing some of my reflections here, but I’m curious for those who have been reading along too:

Are you too busy leaning in to being brave to count where we are?

Just this week we’ve achieved 31 days; I know this because we started October 1 and Wednesday is October 31, Halloween. We’re a third of the way to unlocking our most courageous selves!

Just two quick questions for you to reflect upon;

What area(s) of your life have you seen that you’re already brave?

 

What is keeping you from taking a brave step in an area that you know you need to lean into?

 

 If you want to let me know I’d love to hear your answers!

If this is your first time dropping by, welcome!

I’d love to have you join in the community to receive encouragement and have some laughs (sometimes) but most of all to consider how your story and my story connect to God’s story!

Do You Have a Dream that Died?

By

I didn’t write last week. I had the chance to be present with these sweet faces.

I hope you weren’t too disappointed you didn’t hear from me on Monday.

I’ve still been reading Annie F. Downs devotional 100 Days to Brave. It’s been good and it’s been challenging.

But honestly, I got derailed on Day 28 when Annie titled the entry “Mourn Dreams that Have Died”.

I got derailed and it’s been hard to get back on track. She asked “What dead dream do you need to mourn?”

I’ve had dreams die. And when they did, I thought I was supposed to just acknowledge the loss as an ‘Oh Well that didn’t turn out as I hoped’ kind of way, trusting it wasn’t God’s plan for me. I read Annie’s words as if I had written them in my journal and she copied them into her devotional. 

To recognize it is ok to mourn the death of a dream, like the death of someone dear, was revolutionary. I have told myself hard things like “Don’t be a baby! Things don’t always work the way you want them to. Grow up!”

And while those are true statements, Annie was inviting me into a space of mourning, a space of acknowledging my loss and disappointment before I moved on. And she tells me that is a brave thing to do.

This derailed my train of thoughts generally moving on toward the future. I spent some ‘think time’ combined with some ‘feel time’ admitting I had suffered a loss; was hurt and disappointed by the death of a dream.

My dream of having a forever home for our family died when we moved away for my husband’s work. We lived in a beautiful house for 15 years: the place where our kids grew up and would eventually bring friends home from college; someday that special someone; then grandkids and family holidays with lots of traditions in a Hallmark cards kind of way. That dream died and I didn’t do well in mourning the loss.

I’m not sure why it’s hard to admit; maybe because I tell myself I’m not supposed to be disappointed with God’s plan. That kind of story doesn’t line up with people whose stories are in scripture. Abraham and Sarah were disappointed with God’s timing; Jonah was disappointed with God’s call to go to Nineveh, Job was disappointed with the circumstances of his life (death of his children, loss of his wealth should have been enough, but boils, too?) Even Jesus begged God for a different way out of the Garden. 

It’s okay to be disappointed. It’s not okay to make your own way out or succumb to bitterness when your way didn’t work. I’ve struggled these past five years because I haven’t honestly mourned the death of that dream of a forever home.

And Jesus? Well He asked for another way if possible, but if not, He wanted God’s way most of all. He struggled in extreme agony over what He knew lay ahead, yet He chose to trust God’s plan.

It can be the same for us. We can be disappointed and can mourn the loss of our dreams. Mourning gives space to be honest with ourselves and most of all with God.

I loved what Annie said at the end of her entry

“But when you look them (the dreams) in the face, head-on, and let them go, you will see how God’s plan for your life, although different from what you expected, is a beautiful story of its own that you never could have dreamed up for yourself.”

Have you had a dream that died? Have you made time to mourn it’s death?

Who Does God Say You Are?

By

In 100 Days to Brave Annie F. Downs shared a story of a friend who was newly employed at a bank. Her first day was filled with the task of counting money.

Why? To learn to know the real thing. Once you handle the real thing you can tell counterfeit from real.

We need to know what is True about us in order to live a brave life.

How do we know what is True?

We have a guide book with lots of loving encouragement and promises. Truth to know and live out.

I received this beautiful card last year at a retreat I attended in the redwoods of California. Being in that place is a big enough reminder of God’s goodness yet this takeaway has reminded me of God’s love and care on many occasions in the year since.

This list is from ONE place in scripture: Ephesians 1.

Annie mentioned several more places to be reminded. If you are curious, start mining the Word to find the nuggets you need for your own reminding of God’s love for you, of His faithfulness to you, of His provision of courage you need to live a brave life.

Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…

Can I Live a Brave Way and Complete Something?

By

I have struggled with finishing what I start. ALL.MY.LIFE.

Significant adult voices called me lazy. A quitter. Undisciplined. Not a lot of encouragement there.

Perseverance has been a personal struggle; one I push toward in many areas daily. Finishing books can be a struggle. Creative projects. Housework. Conversations.

And blog series.

I began this summer a sharing a series of reflections on Matthew 11:28-30. A series that I have written and loved…but didn’t finishing sharing with you! So in effort to live in a brave way, I’m going to finish. Here goes:

Picking up in my reflections on Matthew 11:28-30

The last passage of our study is

My burden is light

I spent some counting time as I looked for ways other versions translated this passage. Did you know that Bible Gateway lists 53 versions of scripture that are translated in English? O those 53 only 13 translated this phrase differently. For fun I’m including them below:

AMPC My burden is light and easy to be borne.

ERV The load I give you to carry is light.

EXB the load I give you to carry is light.

GNT the load I will put on you is light.

ICB The load I give you to carry is not heavy.

MSG Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

NCV the load I give you to carry is light.

NET my load is not hard to carry.

NIRV my load is light.

NLV My load is not heavy.

NLT the burden I give you is light.

WE What I give you to carry is not heavy.

WYC my charge is light

Matthew said it straight. Jesus’s Way of relationship faith instead of religious rules is a light load.

Why do we make it so hard? How has being a Christian become such a negative thing? Lots of reasons I’m sure but in the context of this verse my answer is we’ve added on things that Jesus never said were needed.

Maybe you’ve heard me say Paul was the first commentator of scripture; he unpacked what Jesus said within the context of the Hebrew scriptures and what Christ’s finished work means. Paul kept telling all the churches to live under the grace and freedom from the Law. In our passage of study, Jesus is contrasting the burden of the Law to the burden of grace. He was preparing His followers to walk alongside Him, to be in step with Him and not to work out their salvation through the rules of the Law. That work was finished on the Cross. Now we have right standing before God because of Jesus’s perfect, holy sacrifice.

My burden is light.

He carries the weight. IF we keep in step with Him we won’t feel the burden much at all. If we get out of step then we bump into the yoke and we feel and see our circumstances as if we are alone and overwhelmed.

Just like He said to Peter, Jesus says to us

Come.

We can walk above our circumstances, in step with the Holy Spirit of God and amazing things will transpire. Our attitude shifts. Our worries and fears fade. Our wounds and hurts get cared for by the only One who can truly heal us.

My burden is light.

Our job is to get in the yoke and keep in step. He gives us what we need in order to do that. He carries the weight.

Because of LOVE.

We can learn to live in a brave Way because we’re LOVED. Not shamed in our ways. Loved, forgiven and encouraged to let go and lean in. Hanging out close to Jesus is worth the effort of change.

Live Brave friends.

Why is Faith Such a Mystery?

By

The sun is shining, birds are twittering in the yard, taking baths in the bubbler. It’s peaceful here. Quiet. Room for my soul to breathe. Life is good.

Why am I sad?

The sadness isn’t a bad thing. It’s not something I need to push away, cover up, muscle through. I’m learning to be brave and feel the sadness.

There isn’t anything wrong with my faith. This is something God is teaching me. Some days we have more heavy feelings than others. Perhaps like the tides, there is an ebb and flow in the expression of feelings.

God made us with feelings. Feelings are amoral. I’ve learned that the value of my feelings is in taking them to God.

Learning to brave the uncomfortable feelings, the ones that can overwhelm me sometimes; to have courage to sit in the sadness for a time, letting the tears flow; crying and praying for others whose lives are hard right now; feeling the feelings, connects me with what God is doing in their lives.

My feelings are not a waste of time, or a weakness, or shameful. They are a good gift from a good, good Father.

He invites me to be with Him no matter the circumstance and that includes when I don’t understand why I am sad on such a beautiful day. He invites me to learn from Him, to watch how He walked through His time here and how He wants to show me the unforced rhythms of grace. 

This life of faith is a mystery to me. I don’t always understand and I often can’t see what is really happening. I don’t know why faith is such a mystery but I ask anyway. I’ve learned to ask for eyes to see. I’ve learned to ask for ears to hear.

And I’m amazed when He gifts me with evidence of things not seen: His Presence, His work in the lives of others, His Word coming alive to me as I ponder.

God wants to grow your faith too. 

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen

If you’re struggling with feelings like me today, take a brave step and ask for more faith. Ask expectantly and keep on the look out for how He grows your faith.

I can assure you of two mysterious things: He will and it will not be as you expect.

What Is Your Brave Step?

By

It’s Monday. 

What does this day hold for you? What are you looking forward to being a part of? What are you dreading?

Asking these questions can be prayerful moments if we invite God into the questions.

I was so struck by seeing this planter in the garden of the chapel where I had privilege to encourage women in the Way as they walk with Jesus.

 

Chosen Women, Choosing Wisely

I’ve seen their faces daily in my mind’s eye; reminded of their stories, their prayer requests. Seeing and hearing them has spurred me on in my own brave steps.

How about you?

Whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

What is your brave step today?

It doesn’t have to be a huge leap, unless that is what God is calling you to. Your brave step may simply be making breakfast for others who don’t see that Jesus is making that meal through you.

Or maybe your brave step is speaking Truth to power at work. Or perhaps your brave step is writing a letter, the old-fashioned way, to bless and encourage someone you’ve not spoken to in awhile.

Whatever your brave step is, know this

Whatever God has asked, He will accompany you to complete. You can move forward in confidence since His ability will equip you. The time is now to pursue all that the Lord has for you! Priscilla Shirer

I’m honored to pray for you in your next brave step. Let me know how it goes!

Are You Hanging onto Fear?

By

Two days this week I came to the computer with ideas about being brave and found I had nothing to say. I was stuck. I told myself its ok come back later, but of course, later never came. I didn’t guard time to write, so time wasn’t there.

I wrestled with why I challenged myself to work through this devotional 100 Days to Brave? I questioned my sanity, my purpose, my raison d’ etre (five years of studying French peeks out on occasion)

I came to an existential crisis point. Why do I want to tell you to let go of what’s holding you back and lean into the unique creation you are? Why do I want to encourage you to be brave, to learn what that looks like in your life, to take a first step?

I want to help women connect with the passions God has placed in them for their good, for other’s good, and most of all, for God’s glory. Click To Tweet

I have been hanging onto fear. Fear that no one will care about this message. Fear that these words go no where, that writing and speaking this message is a waste of time and money. Fear that I’m not listening to God’s Word accurately and I’m doing this for my own selfish gain. Fear of resistance, of ridicule, of rejection.

Getting honest about fear is a bit scary; as I continue to learn about myself through the lens of the Enneagram, it makes more sense why I get scared. At my core, I don’t want to feel pain. I want to have fun. I avoid conflict because conflict is painful and looking at the underside of my emotions is hard work.

But God.

My two favorite words in Scripture. Best search I ever worked through; try it.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I came to my time with Him this morning without an agenda. I simply wanted to sit in His Presence and have coffee with Jesus. After I read the portions of Scripture in my Bible reading plan, I read today’s entry for Jesus Calling. 

Take time to be still in My Presence. The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always proffer to you.

I got comfortable in my chair, held my warm cup of coffee and sat quietly looking outside through the sliding glass door into our garden space. I watched the changing morning light illumine the persimmon tree in our neighbor’s yard, the orange-red fruit standing out against the green leaves. I noticed a finch search the feeder for just the right seed. What caught my attention was a hummingbird lighting on the bubbling water feature. It dipped its beak into the water hovering slightly above the water spilling over the slick turquoise orb, then all of a sudden, the hummingbird sat in the center of the bubbler and began to take a bath.

The freedom, the enthusiasm, the fearlessness all spoke to me in the hummingbird’s hesitation, then the jumping in. As I watched, these lyrics crept up to my consciousness

So let go my soul and trust in Him

And just like the shifting morning light, the awareness of my fears paled in the Light of this phrase.

So let go my soul and trust in Him

I was being invited forward. Come, Further up and Further in.

The invitation is for you too, my friend.

I see your face in my mind; your eyes rimmed with tears you’re blinking back; your brave smile trembling.

He is for you, just like He’s for me. God wants His daughters to walk in freedom; to be able to live as He has designed each of us; moment by moment learning from Him the unforced rhythms of grace.

The invitation to Come to Me isn’t a one time invitation. Jesus invites us again and again and again. You might take your eyes off of Him for a myriad of reasons; Come to Me remains the same, simple invitation. 

Learn from Me, watch how I do it. 

I’ve been hanging on to fear. I’ve been clinging to things that have weighed me down, hindering me from the life purpose God has given me. 

Right now, I’m choosing to be brave, to share my inner struggles to help you see you’re not alone in yours. The beauty is the precious invitation to Come is whispering at the edge of your conscious thought; listen and respond.

Let go and lean in.

You won’t regret it.

Perhaps you’re wondering how to get started? Or how to get back?  

Call a friend. Message me. Comment below (I read them before they get published so if you don’t want your comment published, tell me.) 

Bravely take the first step.

I leave you with this beautiful offering. Enjoy.

It is Well 

Being Brave in the Little Things

By

It’s Monday evening and this is what I’m up to:

(shout out to iBloom planner)

I struggle with structure. Don’t get me wrong, I like a certain amount of structure. It creates the frame around my days. But sometimes I feel too constrained by structure so I reject it; I act as if I don’t have limits of time or energy or focus and just do what I feel like doing. I go back and forth from detailed planning to simply having appointments on the calendar. I like to tell people I am a recovering Type A personality.

Anybody else?

  I lived rigidly structured for quite a few years of my life. I took it upon myself to be the organizer within our family; somebody had to bring order out of chaos! But I learned along the Way that rigidity isn’t actually a  life style that leaves room for God’s plans. I began to be challenged in my rigidity when I read the book Life Management for Busy Women by Elizabeth George. 

I read the book the year it was published, 2002. Both our sons were school age: Matt was 14 and a freshman in high school and Mark was 7 and in second grade. I was a full time SAHM, not homeschooling either of them at that point, and so, in an effort to establish my worth, (I didn’t believe I had inherent worth at that time; more on that brave change later) I created an action plan for my life that was scheduled down to the minute; filled with good things like teaching Bible study, volunteering at both schools, helping with AWANA at church, making meals for new moms & for end of life needs, leading children’s worship on Sunday mornings, early morning walks for exercise and prayer with a different friend each morning of the week. In those days I was getting 6 – 7 hours of sleep in order to fit it all in. If anything unusual happened, like an invitation for a spontaneous coffee with a friend or anything else out of the ordinary (which of course wasn’t on the schedule), I might be known to have a meltdown. Can you say hair trigger emotion? My poor family! I have no idea how they still speak to me! 

The book had lots of practical ideas to help people create structure in their lives; which I didn’t need help with. There was one mind blowing take away that has stuck with me: the principle of “leaving room for God”. Her point was, if we are so committed to our plans, our schedules, we often say ‘no’ or ‘I don’t have time’ when an out of the ordinary opportunity comes. 

Sometimes it’s in the unplanned, off the schedule opportunities where God wants us to be His hands and feet in the world. If our lives are too full, too scheduled, we don’t have time for God’s Plan B for our day. Click To Tweet

It took several big, brave steps in my life before I made the shift from my rigid, over scheduled plan to leaving room in my days for God’s plan. I have learned that being brave in the little things, like not over scheduling my day, saying no to too many commitments, and leaving time margin between one thing and the next has given me courage to say Yes to God’s plan for my day. 

How do you handle the need for structure? Is the whole idea overwhelming? Or do you have so much structure you don’t have time for spontaneous, out of the ordinary events? Let’s share how we are brave in the little things like bringing order out of chaos. We need to hear how others are brave because it encourages us to be brave, too.

Follow Me…

Categories