Learning Along The Way

Black Friday Focus

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Today’s entry from My Utmost for His Highest quotes a portion of Malachi “Take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously”. Chambers goes on to say “Our state of mind is powerful in its effects. It can be the enemy that penetrates right into our soul and distracts our mind from God. There are certain attitudes we should never dare indulge. If we do, we will find they have distracted us from faith in God. Until we get back into a quiet mood before Him, our faith is of no value, and our confidence in the flesh and in human ingenuity is what rules our lives.”

On this Madison Avenue marketing day, as we look for great deals on things we ‘need’, what will you do to demonstrate you are a person of faith?

Let someone with less in their arms go ahead of you in line?

Give money to the Salvation Army bell ringers?

Slow down and smile at the store employees dealing with people who are way too intense and frantically grabbing at items to get the most and the best?

Pause while you are in line to thank the One who gave you the ability to breathe, stand, carry, think, earn money, etc.?

Any or all would probably be a way to battle the ‘attitudes we should never dare indulge’.

As I’m getting ready to pile into the car for a shopping extravaganza these are great reminders for me, so I’m sharing them with you. Let me know how your day went; I’ll be praying.

Thankful for Meltdowns?

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Today’s blog post is being written in the back seat of a rental car hurtling through California eastward toward Utah. Gotta love technology!

Spent the morning working down my to do list. Getting things prepped for our trip and simultaneously battling the temptation to allow the ticking clock to ruin my focus on being thankful.

The battle really isn’t obvious (for the most part), but is internal; fought on the battlefield of the mind. That’s the place where I, where we, can make choices. Do we believe time controls us or do we believe the One who controls time? God invites us to be at peace in His abiding Presence at the same moment as the ticking clock tries to distract us.

I don’t always make the restful choice; for about 15 minutes today I had a meltdown. The issue was a missing wallet and a time obligation colliding. True confession: I have too many purses. Good thing for me I keep them all hanging on parallel racks on the back of the closet door so it’s easy to switch from one to another. Except when I don’t use a purse at all just to confuse things and keep me on my organizational toes. That was my recent mistake. So I didn’t know where I had put said wallet. Clock ticking. friend waiting. Peace slipping away.

I stood in my closet and cried. Out loud I apologized to the Lord; telling Him I was wrong to launch in to this hunt without asking Him first where that errant wallet was hiding. Sniffing, I went back downstairs, looking through my office where I had already hunted and come up empty. I knelt down to look through a basket, again, and saw the illusive wallet peaking out of the pocket of my briefcase.

Was it the position of bowing low and slowing down or the tearful acknowledgment of my control issues that helped me see? Either or both. Whatever it took for the Lord to get my attention was good. I smiled, thanked Him for directing my steps and moved ahead.

When you are thankful during this Thanksgiving week, who are you thankful to?

Thankful For What Is

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Slow down
Look around
See what is
Give thanks

Thanksgiving Week begins. Is it full of to do lists? Grocery shopping lists? Packing lists?

Mine is.

Time limits and controls my actions.

Or does it?

I am practicing the fine Art of seeing what is and being thankful for what is.

Not what I wish. What is.

Not what I regret. What is.

Sometimes the best place to start my thankful list for this day is for this moment.

What is.

Laundry? Sure. Be thankful for the feet that fill the socks.

Grocery shopping? Sure. Be thankful for mouths to feed, for means to purchase, for transportation to get there, for arms to carry, for paper and pencil to make the list, for a brain that remembers (most of the time!)

See how easy it is? Once you take your eyes off the “if only” and focus on “what is” you have much for which to be thankful.

Next question: to whom are you thankful?

Love, Loved, & Lovable

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Quia amasti me, fecisti me amabilem Augustine

Augustine wrote these words about the One who loved him best. God.
The same God who spoke to Abraham, who talked with Moses, who inspired Rahab to hide the spies, who led Ruth to follow Naomi home, who called David A Man after His own Heart, who gave Solomon wisdom, the prophets something to talk about, and Who Came in the Flesh so that we could comprehend Him.

Jesus. He came first as a babe and will come again as a conqueror. The in between is where we live. It’s where Augustine lived. And Thomas a Kempis. And Brother Lawrence. And Galileo. And the millions who have gone before and who are walking here today. God was. God is. And God will forever be.

How do we relate to this very other being? We learn to love.

“Because you loved me, you made me able to be loved.” These are Augustine’s words translated to english.

Because God has loved me I am able to be loved. God has not gotten a great deal in me being part of His family. I am wayward, unfocused and generally a problem child. But He chose me. He calls me Friend. I am His beloved. If you claim His saving grace, these things are true of you too.

Because God has loved me I am able to be loved. He offers us gifts throughout the day. Love gifts. A stranger’s smile. The sight of a beautiful bird. The laughter of children at play. To simply say Thank You for each gift is a beginning. An acknowledgement of His Presence, His care, His love. He offers out of love. It’s His very nature.

The acknowledging of God’s gifts can be part of our day, part of our rhythm. Pausing the music or talk radio in the car and saying Thank You for your ability to hear, to understand, to appreciate the sounds coming out of the radio. Saying Thank You for the good scent of food cooking, or the warmth of a sweater on a cold day. All these are simple ways to be in the process of learning to love, learning to love the One who gives you life.

How will you adjust your rhythm to acknowledge God and His good gifts today?

Quia amasti me, fecisti me amabilem

Adjusting the Rhythm

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On Monday when I first posted about Rhythm I left you with two questions:

What are “these” that Paul was referring to?

What are the things on your list that don’t work for you any longer?

I’ve been spending lots of time with these two questions; since July just about.  I had the privilege of preparing to teach our women’s Bible study this fall from chapter 4 of Ephesians.  And as is always the case, I learn more than I am able to share in one lesson and  I am challenged in my spiritual formation.

So the “these” that Paul was referring to in his letter to his friends,  were the ways of living that they had been involved in before they came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.  Paul names some of “these”: futility of mind, darkened in understanding… Paul tells us “in reference to your former manner of life, lay aside the old self, …be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self…”  What are the ways of living that you were involved in before you came to faith?  I smile at this question because I know some of you came to faith at 4 so you might laugh at this question.  But this question is not just about the outward actions as a way of life because the context is ‘the mind’.  Paul is challenging us to recognize that the way we think needs to be changed not just the outside.  In fact, Jesus tells us that it’s what is in a man’s heart that defiles him not what goes into the man.

Identifying your patterns of thought that don’t line up with Truth can be tricky because we can be deceived!  Sometimes you need to get a trusted friend or a counselor to talk with and help you identify your harmful, destructive patterns of thought.  Things you tell yourself when you make a mistake are a great place to start. “I’m so stupid!” “I’m an idiot!” “I’m such a loser!” You may not even be aware of your self talk.

It might not be the way you talk to yourself; it may be in how you think about those who have wronged you.  It could be how you view your siblings, or parents or spouse.  Because you’re human and your inherited nature is going in the opposite direction from God, there is something you don’t think rightly about.

Bummer.

But that leads to the second question: what are the things on your list that don’t work for you anymore?

Once you have identified the thing (or things if you’re anything like me!) that belong to your “former manner of life” then you have something to work with!  Now the fun begins!  Your current rhythms can be adjusted to fall in line with a rhythm that is life giving to yourself, to others and is glorifying to God.

If you haven’t taken time to label your answers to those two questions, I’d recommend the time.  What comes next won’t be useful to you without real adjustments to make!

 

Rhythm of Life

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When I asked my husband, who is a trained percussionist, this question: How important is rhythm to being a percussionist? He looked at me with this quizzical expression, but he humored me and responded seriously, “Rhythm is essential.  You can’t be a successful percussionist without a good sense of rhythm.”  I pressed a little further: Can rhythm be learned or is it innate?  He said, “No one gets all the variations of rhythm without practice.  Rhythm takes practice.”

Rhythm provides the structure to music that all else in the piece is built upon.  Interestingly, what is true of music is true of our lives.

Our pastor uses the phrase, “Rhythm of life”.  I’ve pondered the meaning and implications of that phrase for awhile now.

Rhythms can vary.  Just like seasons.  But even in the repeating of the seasons there is rhythm and it is comforting to our souls.

Rhythm to your day, the regular habits of thought and action that turn your mind and heart toward God are what the phrase is about I think.

It’s a pattern but not a rigid pattern; not a legalistic way of going about your day. Although there are those individuals who are very disciplined and their structure does not vary even to the minute.  That’s not what I am talking about here.

Rhythm of life is more about the big ideas, elements, that fill your days.

Ironically we often move through our day driven by the clock, the external keeper of  rhythm rather than by an internal intention or rhythm.  Time and again I hear people say things like: ‘I just don’t know where the time goes’ or ‘I don’t have time for …’

We are all given 24 hours to steward.  What we do with the time is up to us.  Of course there are fixed and variable elements in our lives that must be attended to: people, work, sleep, food; but it is often the intangible elements that give us pause when they’re missing: time with God, creativity in some form, mental rest.

If you are feeling out of sorts or driven by the clock without a break, I encourage you to make an assessment of your days.  Write down how you spent your time at the end of the day.  Do that for three days.  Look at what fills your time.  Now comes the hard part.

Change.

If there are things in your day that don’t have to be there: tv watching, internet surfing, excessive texting or tweeting, excessive time on the phone; make some changes.  To make rhythm adjustments change has to happen.  To make room for the intangibles some tangibles have to go.

In Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus he tells them about change.  “These former ways of living, don’t work for you any longer.  Put those off.  Instead, put these on.” (the Message)

What are “these” that Paul was referring to?  What are the things on your list that don’t work for you any longer?

 

The Band-Wagon of Thankfulness

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I don’t like to be thought of as a band-wagoner.  (one who jumps on the band wagon)

But it is the season of thankfulness and many bloggers are encouraging their readers to be thankful.  I want to do the same.  Yet it is a hard season for many.  Even me.

I was thumbing through our local magazine, SLO Journal, and came across the article by Claire Aagaard titled “Living with Grief and Loss During the Holidays”.

This is for me.  Still.  Five years later.

The article is 12 simple tips long.  You can read her full article here.  She gives credit to a book she read by James Miller titled How Will I Get Through the Holidays? (which also sounds good)

These tips are lessons I have been learning in the crucible of life while at the same time experiencing some of the greatest joys that this life has to offer.  How are these two opposites: joy & sorrow, able to coexist and not cancel one another out?

Perspective.

Well, is it half empty or half full?

Tip #9 ‘Search out and Count your Blessings’ from Aagaard’s article reminds me to mention the life transforming book that came to me two years ago: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

If you haven’t read One Thousand Gifts, you need to.  She poetically tells her journey out of the pit of depression and grief through accepting the challenge of a friend: Count your blessings.  Ann’s story is compelling.  Many agree.  Her website has great resources to encourage your counting. Check it out here.

Focusing on thankfulness is not denial of how hard, difficult, painful, depressing your circumstances really are.  It is simply adjusting the lens of your perspective to have a clear view on all that is also true. Even when you are grieving.

Start counting your reasons to be thankful.  I am.

 

Friday Focus

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My windows need washing.               And I can see them.

 

My laundry needs folding.                 My hands and arms function.

 

The dog needs a walk.                         My legs work.

 

A friend needed to be heard.               My ears can hear.

 

A heart was heavy.                             Tears flow.

 

Burdens on the left                             Blessings on the right.

 

Where do you focus? 

Focusing on blessings isn’t denial; it brings glory to the One who provided the blessings.  Bringing the blessings into focus doesn’t take away the burdens but gives them a platform for being carried; the burdens in the context of blessings have a different perspective.

So this weekend, whatever it may bring, adjust your  focus.

Santification and the Parking Lot

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I’m pretty sure a parking lot is the place to find out how you are growing emotionally and spiritually.

Let me explain.

Near our house is a “center” where a grocery store, a CVS, Michael’s, Dollar Tree, assorted fast food places and a Starbucks all come together, plus an assortment of smaller businesses.  A “quick stop shopping center” designed with convenience in mind.

Except for parking.  There just aren’t enough front row spots for all of us!

What makes matters worse is everyone is there for a “quick stop” which implies not having to wait for your front row parking spot to be available.

You’d be amazed at how many times people will sit and wait for a front row spot while a “quick” left turn would take them into an entire row of parking spots.  But those aren’t front row.

Isn’t that the way of the world?  It’s “Me First” from our children’s mouths as they dash to get the favorite spot in the car.  We want the front row parking spot; the shortest line in the store; the first to have a new tech device of all our friends; the nicest car; the biggest house; the most, the biggest and the best.

Is this what life is about?

Before you say a quick “No!” think about the parking lot.  Try an experiment this week.  Be aware of your response when someone zooms into the spot you were hoping to get.  Notice your reaction when you have to wait longer than you expected.

There is the way of the world and then there is the Way.

The parking lot is a true test of your sanctification along the Way.

Let me know how your experiment turns out!

 

 

Sharpen Your Focus

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“If any of you lacks wisdom let him ask of God…”

“Lord I need clarity.  I’m not sure where I need to focus my writing.”

You might be surprised what an honest prayer for wisdom brings.

Had coffee this morning with the small group of women whom I meet with monthly. We don’t get together to just have coffee and talk about anything and everything; our focus is to encourage each another in our writing and speaking endeavors.  Each month a different woman is the focus of our time together; we listen, give specific feedback, challenge and/or encourage as needed.  We’ve each benefited in various ways through the six or seven times we’ve met and one of those benefits for me has been the honesty.

I came today and simply stated my need for clarity and focus.  Because it is a serious matter for me my emotions are right on the surface, so I teared up in sharing my need.  (I actually do that a lot; anyone who spends more than 30 minutes with me can attest to that! I am very empathetic, but I digress)

What I received was not a chorus of “oh but you are…” or “that must feel awful…” Instead I was asked good open-ended questions that helped me articulate my thoughts.  I received very specific ideas for my writing topics and specific feedback /encouragement for moving forward.

And now I am armed and encouraged to take the next step!

This, my friends is exactly what a focus group can do for you.  Your focus group might be for parenting.  Or organizing your home.  Or exercise.  Or the education of your children.  But having a small community where you can sharpen your focus, where you can be honest and you are heard and cared for, is essential for personal growth and change.

Want to know more?  Invite me for coffee!

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