Learning Along The Way

When Life Happens

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But little Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!   Robert Burns

Do you ever feel like you start something new with every good intention,  only to have something happen that derails your plan?

You are not alone.

And, if you’re anything like most of us, you are none of the things you call yourself for not being able to get right back to your good intention.

Here’s a new thought: 

So instead of talking to yourself in ways you would never allow anyone else talk to you, repeat the words in the box above.

Then start again with what you wanted to do.

Apply and repeat.

It sounds so easy you might think I’m being ridiculous to take the time to write this out.  But the truth of the matter is, we get stuck in the way we think and act and react and don’t even realize it.  We also don’t realize the simplicity of making a different choice.

So go ahead.  Start something new.

When Life Happens, don’t get mad that your plans went awry; recognize that Life is happening and then start again.

Is Change Happening?

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Do you wonder if change is happening?

You might be battling discouragement today.

Maybe when the new school year began you started (or tried to start) to make changes in your routine: getting up earlier, eating right, being on time places, not losing your temper, writing that thank you card, memorizing scripture, or even just reading the Bible; any one of these changes might be on your to do list.

You started your plan and it was going great!

But life happened today and the to do list didn’t get done.  Or maybe it’s the third day in a row that “life happened” and the to do list is buried under the mail.

The question is: do you give up?  Just quit because change is too hard and you don’t see it happening?

Or do you make a different choice?  The choice to persevere?

Steady Progress
Three years ago to honor my dad’s memory I wanted to make our backyard into a relaxing retreat area by installing a water feature.  Here’s what it looked like brand new:

The plants were little and it looked rather stark.  It wasn’t lush and verdant like I had imagined, partly because the cost to plant mature plants was way out of the question and partly because I am committed to the process of growth and I wanted to watch the yard change over time.

Little by little, when I wasn’t paying attention, change happened.  Now, this summer the fountain area looks like this:

My point is, don’t give up!  Little by little, when you push back against the tide of demands and make another choice to continue on your new routine, starting again, you will see change when you least expect to!

Sometimes when we’re the most discouraged, we do want to throw in the trowel, in gardener speak, and just quit.

I have one word for you: DON”T!

Keep going!  Start again!  Get support from friends or, contact a Coach!  Click over here to learn more about working with a Life Coach.

Change can happen.  Change takes time.  Give yourself grace and get support.

Of Fountains and Questions

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This fountain is lovely, in a lovely setting, surrounded by flowers and grasses. 

It looks great. 

But something is wrong.  Do you know what it is?

The water is stagnant.  See it in the bottom?  Greenish- brown and gross.

The fountain is off so the water isn’t moving.  The fountain looks good from far away but it’s not serving it’s real purpose: moving water and making a lovely noise.

I wonder if you’re feeling a little like this fountain?

Do you feel disconnected from the Source?  Not sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to be here for?  Do you desire to bring beauty to your environment and make a lovely noise but aren’t there yet?

Those are questions whose answers can be changed. 

We’re here for a purpose bigger than ourselves.  Figuring out what that purpose is can be the joy and mystery of life.

For this fountain to go from gross to lovely takes getting connected to the Source.

Is that what you need too?  That’s what I’m here for: not to preach, but to help process. 

Let’s connect…

First Time/Last Time

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This weekend sitting out in creation at our campsite listening to birds and the far off voices of people playing volleyball was a new venue for me to write.

It was a first time.

This was a big first for me; family campout with no kids.  It’s weird to think this is what life is going to be like not all that long from now.  Weird.

Our eldest is now joyfully married to a beautiful woman and they live out of state.  14 hours away.  Our youngest is a senior in high school and looking at schools across the country. 3000 miles away.  Is it something I said?  Naw, I’d like to think it was something we did: raised them to be independent thinking men!  However the end result doesn’t keep me from looking back…

Why is it that we don’t appreciate what we have and long for what we don’t have?  What is it in our nature that keeps us from being grateful or content?

I tried so many times to convince myself to be okay with the changing seasons; no more nursing babies, no more toddlers, kids in school and not at home, no more driving the Mom taxi because they have their licenses, no more family laundry; well maybe I won’t miss that one!

Not sure why each change has brought sadness, but it has.  I am happy to see the new stage for my sons, proud of the growth and accomplishments that come with each new stage, but the leaving behind is what seemed to be the issue for me every time.

I know I’m not the only mom who misses the little faces that now sport whiskers; although the whiskered faces are so handsome and manly and the way things “should be”.  Some women can’t wait to get the kids grown and out of the house so they can have their time back: time with their husband and time for themselves.  But that’s not me.

This mom wrote a great post last year that grabbed my heart: finding joy

I also know that I am not the first person to keep looking back at what was; Scripture is full of stories of people who looked back instead of being okay in the present.  

I can think of some pretty significant ones: Lot’s wife who couldn’t leave Sodom and Gomorrah without longing for her home & life there; the Israelites at the shore of the Red Sea; that same group complaining out in the desert wanting to return to the slavery of Egypt instead of moving forward into the Promised Land.  In the face of pretty big things God did or promised to do, people have wanted to return to what they knew instead of looking forward and trusting God for what was yet to be.

What about today?  Can I look ahead with trust to the unknown of what lies ahead?  Is it possible to be okay with not knowing if this is the last time?

Life is a Journey

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As I was getting ready for work this morning, I had Pandora playing. A song I’d not heard came on; a song whose lyrics really expressed my heart. 

It’s not a new song, so some of you may already be familiar with both the song and its composer/performer, Ginny Owens.  The lyrics of her song, “If You Want Me To” are words I would write if I were a songwriter.

I know that life is full of challenges, Jesus told us it would be this way.  “In this world you will have troubles.”  That may sound pretty bleak.  But He also gives us a great encouragement: “Take heart!  I have overcome the world!” 

Jesus has already won the fight for our eternal destiny.  He fought that for each of us because of Love.  Love for the Father and Love for each of us.  In spite of  whatever we’ve done that we might think wouldn’t be deserving of Love. 

He willingly fought for you and me.  Because of Jesus’ battle for our souls and His righteousness alone, you and I can be accepted into that Love.

This priceless Love makes this journey worth taking.  The journey here is a journey toward God’s heart.  We are changed along the Way by the challenges.  Even though life is full of challenges, heartaches, losses, in the middle of it all there is the security of His Presence.  The best part of this journey is that Jesus wants to walk through it all with us! 

Because He Loves You.  Because He Loves Me.  The difficulties give us the chance to grow closer to the One Who Loves us.

This song reminds me that because of this a.ma.zing Love,  I am willing to journey through tough things.  Not alone.  Not forgotten.

Be encouraged. Listen here: If You Want Me To

Using Time

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Had a really sweet time encouraging Moms yesterday at the MOPS group at B.F.C.C. in Alameda.  If you are in their area and need a Moms group, this is a new group so it would be easy to get plugged in.

What is MOPS?  If you’re not familiar check them out here.  If your season right now is a mom of preschoolers then get plugged into MOPS in your area.  Don’t have one?  Look into starting one!

Maybe you’re not in the season of having littles at home.  That’s not where I am anymore!  In fact I shared this photo of my newly married son reminding me and encouraging them that time is a fleeting thing!

Before you know it, the kids are grown up and out on their own!  Where did the time go?  How was that time with him spent?

It’s so good to be reminded to make the most of our time (Eph 5:16).  But what does that look like in each season of life? Are we supposed to be busy doing anything and everything that constitutes good works?  (Eph 2:10) Are we to be filling our time to the brim with well doing? (Gal 6:9)  Is doing doing doing what constitutes a life well lived?

No.  Not if all the doing squeezes out time for relationship.  You see, what matters are the things that last for eternity.  What are those things?

Souls.

So what matters most is your soul, your family members’, your friends’, your neighbors’, the homeless, the unborn, the disenfranchised, those of other countries and cultures.  People matter most.

What matters most is relationships.  Jesus modeled this for us as He walked here.  Time with the Father alone.  Time with others quietly. Time with others serving/working.  Time intentionally spent developing relationships.  Grace filled relationships.

Think about the two sisters Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42) .  Are you worried and bothered by so many things?  Or are you choosing the better part that will not be taken away from you?

I am not saying doing good things should be abandoned so that you can sit alone in silence: unless you are doing too many good things and you have no unobligated time to sit alone in silence for even 5 minutes!

Intentional time alone with God; intentional time with family, with friends, and then out to the world.  Making the most of your time looks differently in each season.  What does your time look like today? Where can adjust to make that time intentional?

Perspective

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Ever have one of those days when you want somebody to feel sorry for you?

Yesterday I was ready to have a pity party.  I thought about sending out invitations so others could join in.  It wasn’t a particularly bad day or anything, I was just feeling sorry for myself.  It was hot (90 degrees) and I had to ride my bike home (3 miles).
The distance on the hot day was almost enough to keep me from getting on the bike to go home.  But I am really trying to honor my commitment to myself; I am attempting to be a serious bicycle commuter.  I have to remind myself of the benefits: exercise, saving money, getting to be outdoors, getting stronger as a cyclist…there are lots of benefits, really.

Back to my pity party (it’s all about me you know!) So there I was, time to go home from work and reminding myself of the benefits and the fact that no one in my family would be available to pick me up anyway.  I got on the bike and rode 4 blocks to the Jennifer Street Bridge, which spans the railroad tracks I need to cross to get home.  The bridge has switchback ramps that allow bikes to be ridden over but you have to be careful at the turns, watching out for others coming from the opposite direction.  

As I neared the bottom on the other side, I could see two women chatting so I slowed down even more.  By the time I made the last turn they had finished their conversation and started out on their runs down the lovely running/cycling trail.  They weren’t together; one had started out ahead of the other woman at a faster pace.

The second woman was the one who caught my attention.

She was starting out on her run too, but a little more slowly.  She was an amp runner.  Her leg was fitted with the same state of the art device as the runner from South Africa, Oscar Pistorius,  who ran in the Olympics.

As I was coming alongside to pass her on my bike, I wanted to say something, acknowledging her presence on the trail, but just saying Hi seemed not enough considering the effort she was putting out.  So instead I called out “You go girl!” with a thumbs up.

It was 90 degrees in the middle of the day and she was going on her run.  Suddenly my pity party came to a screeching halt.  I was blessed with perspective at that moment.  All of my whining and complaining looked so foolish in a blink of an eye.  I was glad I hadn’t sent out invitations to my pity party after all.

I love how quietly God will draw my attention away from my minor issues to give me eyes to see someone with real issues.  But she wasn’t feeling sorry for herself.  She was cheerful and working to overcome challenge in spite of the weather and physical limitations.  She called out to me, “have a nice day”, and I thought, how dare I not have a nice day?

Perspective.  What challenge is in your day today?  One piece of encouragement that I have gleaned from Scripture is that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  This part of God’s Word reminds me that the Creator of the Universe, Who spoke things into existence, lives in me and through His strength I am able to do all things.  Including riding my bike 3 miles in 90 degree heat!

I don’t know that sweet woman’s spiritual condition, but her countenance was full of joy and her actions were full of perseverance and determination.  Seeing her running did not make me feel sorry for her at all.  Actually I was quite inspired to do what I can physically and at the same time humbled for my ungrateful attitude.

Perspective is everything.  When you want to have a pity party, wait to send out the invitations.  Gain some perspective instead.

A Season of Focused Rest

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My last blog post was June 28, the day after our eldest’s 24th birthday.  I have missed writing my blog but it was necessary for this season.  This has been a summer of milestones.  No, a year of milestones.

It began with a surprise engagement last December.  A call for our son from a church in Utah to be their Youth Pastor.  Then his graduation from Biola in May.  A beautiful wedding in August.  The blessing of a new family being miraculously formed in front of our eyes.  What a privilege to witness the vows, the promises made by our son and his chosen one.

Then came the move to their new life two weeks later.

Milestones of grace.  Of answered prayer.

Celebrations of life.  Of what is.

Do we look at our life as the to do list, as the guide for our day?

Do we allow the Tyranny of the Urgent to steal the life from our days?

Or do we look at all that represents life and allow ourselves to be still with God right in the middle of all that goes on in a day?

Are we driven or at rest?

Distracted or intentional?

I chose to stop coaching, stop writing and speaking during this season of summer.  Through this final season with our son at home.  That was my call from God.  To be at rest with Him to celebrate what is.

It has been a blessed and renewing season.  I have much to be thankful for and much that was learned and refined during this season of focused rest.  It has been a sweet Communion.

And now that season has ended and a new one begins.

I am looking forward to what will be ahead but focusing on staying present to His Presence.  Continuing to practice resting before Him Who holds all things together.

How about you?  What has been, what is and what are you looking forward to?

Let’s walk together into this new season, learning along the Way.

Life Lesson #3 Keep On

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I have been under the pile.  Things to do.  You know, the usual: laundry, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, cooking. Add in relationships with family and friends, don’t forget work, and then fit in hobbies like gardening, reading, learning music, sewing.  Now add some major life events: college graduation for one son, college planning for the other, wedding planning for the firstborn and just to make life more interesting: The Change has come upon me.

I had all but abandoned my writing when, in the middle of the craziest busiest week this month, I looked out the window and saw this sight

I was immediately reminded of my unfinished blog series on Life Lessons.  So here it is.

Keep On.

The sunflower that had fallen is the tall one on the left.  If you don’t know sunflowers, it’s the tall skinny plant in the top row, directly above the garden arch in the picture.  It only slightly leans forward from the others. Hardly noticeable in its difference.  The brokenness that could have killed it now has become a testimony of perseverance.  Keep On.

I have been slowed down in my life by circumstances.  Or at least that’s the excuse I am clinging to right now.  But my circumstances are my life.  So how am I slowed down?  By my attitude about the circumstances.

Allowing my focus to be on the hurry and worry, rather on the acceptance of what is; the lack of seeking wisdom of what to let slide; neglecting the need to reach out to others for help; not speaking a very short word that is a step to freedom: “No”, have all contributed to a dry, distracted, unfocused life.   This is not the way to Keep On.

The sunflower shows me.  Keep seeking life.  Be renewed.  Keep On.

He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)

Mindset adjustment: abundant does not mean DOING MORE!

Abundant means life giving: Jesus in us, for us and to others.  Overflowing life.  Strengthening life. Joyful life.  Even in really tough circumstances.

My circumstances are NOT tough right now.  But I have had them.  You might be having them now.

Where do you seek life that changes you, that strengthens you?

I look to Jesus.  He lifts my head.  Through the Word. In the garden. In the chirping of birds. Through music. Laughter.  Oh that we might have eyes to see and ears to hear!

Friends, don’t let the busy-ness of your circumstances distract you from seeking life!

I made myself take time to read this morning instead of “getting right to work”.  I finished a terrific book, Beautiful Outlaw, by John Eldredge.  He ends the book with this:

“But this Jesus—this Beautiful Outlaw—if his exquisite life were to invade ours…oh, my.  It would change everything.”

Seek life.  Keep On.

His prayer at the end of his book was my prayer this morning.  It can be for you as well:

“Jesus, invade my life.  Cleanse this temple. Produce your Cana in me.  I give my humanity to you, to be restored by your humanity.  I give my life to you to live your life.”

 

Keep On.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunflower Life Lesson #2–Develop Strong Roots

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When I first talked about the amazing gardening experience, I briefly mentioned that, although the sunflower was lying down among its neighbors the cantaloupe and watermelon plants, it was not uprooted.  The sunflower was already 5 feet tall when it fell.  That means there was a deep, strong root system already in place so that the plant didn’t die when this trauma hit.

 

What life lesson is here for us?  Develop Strong Roots.

 

The question is: How does one do that exactly?

 

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you already know that I have weathered some really difficult seasons. I would guess you have too since life is not easy!  It’s funny that we think it should be; if we do all the right things then the result will be a good healthy life, great kids, a spouse who treasures us, a house with a white picket fence and a garden without weeds or gophers.  Ideal perhaps, but not reality.

 

How do we develop strength to withstand trauma that comes out of nowhere?

 

Develop Strong Roots.

 

Strong Roots take time, nourishing soil and water.

 

Time—a regular habit of spending time reading, hearing, and thinking about God’s Word.  Investing in your soul takes your time.

 

Nourishing soil—Jesus taught about soil. The soil of our heart can be nourished by praying for God’s work in our lives; memorizing Scripture; humbly surrendering to growth and change that He leads us to make that results in a changed heart more like His.

 

Water—Jesus told the Samaritan Woman “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”  Jesus is the Gift of God Himself to each of us.  He lived the life we should live, died the death we deserve, and was raised from the dead so that we may have hope knowing that our physical death has no lasting victory. His Spirit will live in you, to strengthen, guide and empower you when you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;  for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

 

Life Lesson #2: Develop Strong Roots to be able to be lifted up by the Master Gardener when the difficulties of life knock you down.

“ Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. “For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.”

Know that I am praying for you, dear reader: that you call on the name of the Lord; that you nourish the soil of your heart in Him.

 

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