Learning Along The Way

New Home, New Look

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There’s something hard about having to begin a conversation with an apology. It’s hard because it requires humility and that’s not a natural character trait for humans.

Having to apologize also implies doing something hurtful or being thoughtless which for some can bring on a ‘shame storm’.

All that being said, I’m sorry that I haven’t written here since February. I’ve physically moved residences and the blog has moved too. I hope you can forgive me and will join me in my new digs.

There’s a new look too!

Through these past three months, I’ve tried to follow the message of this jar: put the priorities in order first then all the rest falls into place.

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The bad news was the priorities filled the jar of my days and blogging fell out of the top, rolled onto the table and off onto the floor!

But I’m back and looking forward to sharing what has been sifted through as we physically moved.

Lots of learning along the Way!

Staying on the Path of Letting Go

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Lent is a process of confession and repentance.

Yesterday I confessed my struggle with discontent and my resulting focus on what isn’t.

What I didn’t write about was the glorious results of confession and repentance.

After a good cry with Jesus I went on a couple of errands that needed to be done by the end of the business day.

I saw this:

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I shared it on Instagram as soon as I saw it.  What a gift.

Today I have spent the day encouraging others. Through spoken words, through hugs, through emails, so many ways. Encouragement extended to even the sweet lady who checked my groceries at Smart & Final.

I’m a nice enough person but truly I know it was the Holy Spirit working through me. I know my “fake it till you make it” and this day was not it.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13

God’s plans for me on a daily basis include encouraging people with His love and His Word.

When I saw this sign last summer I knew I would need to be reminded.

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There would be days like yesterday when I would be tempted to get down on myself or take in hard things that could distract me from my path.

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I believe it is valuable to acknowledge the hard places, the suffering we experience when there is loss of any kind. Being misunderstood, over looked, rejected or forgotten; those are all things Jesus knows. He knows how hard and hurtful those experiences are. There is a sweet Mystery that transpires when we do endure suffering; we share in the fellowship of His sufferings.

In Paul’s letter to the Philippians he expresses this Mystery this way:

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, 9 and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; 11 in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

We all have hard things. I won’t compare my things to yours; that diminishes each of our experiences. God is not surprised by what we are going through. He is sovereign over all. But in His great mercy, He helps us grow and change, little by little, to become more like His Son.

When I confessed my discontent God forgave me and showered the gracious gift of awareness and eyes to see a beautiful sunset and then He chose to work through me today to encourage others in His name.

12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Learning to let go and lean in.

Letting Go of the Land of Not Enough

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I’m feeling small today. Like Alice who drank a potion and became small, I am feeling small in my own life. And I don’t like it.

You see I dared to put myself out there in two different arenas: one in a corporate way and the other in ministry. And in both arenas I have fallen. As if I am too small to be of value or to be heard.

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So like Alice, I have fallen down, down into an unfortunate locale; I call it The Land of Not Enough.  In this Land every where I turn I see reminders, signs that say What Isn’t:  You don’t have a real job, Lisa. You are too old to be of value. You used to be…  No one cares about your experiences.  You are a has been.  Not relevant.

I just want to stop and say this hurts.

These reminders of What Isn’t touch up against the message I have lived under most of my life: your value is in what you produce/achieve. The rut in my brain is deep with that repeated familiar thought. So the Land of Not Enough has a familiar feel like an old pair of shoes…and it’s time to throw them away!

Have you felt like this? In the Land of Not Enough? Sometimes it feels like the Land of Not Enough is where we live All. The. Time.  The signs are all around us: you need to buy this to be relevant. You need to own this car, live in this area, shop at these stores. Your kids need to be in this school or this activity or you need to parent in this way…

In the Land of Not Enough I see evidences of What Isn’t, but I don’t see a single Truth about What Is.  I can focus on all of What Isn’t or I can hunt for the Truth of What Is and speak it to myself.  Author Ann Voskamp writes about her journey out of depression in her bestseller One Thousand Gifts.  (Depression is a real medical term for a serious condition but what I also think of as The Land of Not Enough. It helps me gain perspective on my struggle)   Ann learned the exceedingly abundant practice of counting the Gifts that are daily given; the practice of looking at What Is, and ultimately Who Is.

One of the pastors at the church we left when we moved to this new area spoke of the important difference between a gaze and a glance.  When we gaze at something we are focusing our attention on it.  When we glance at something we briefly acknowledge it’s existence. He said we often gaze at our circumstances and glance at God. How much better for us to gaze at God and glance at our circumstances.

In the Land of Not Enough I have to hunt for What Is and focus on What Is instead of gazing at the signs in The Land of Not Enough; the reminders that litter the sides of the rut my mind travels.

Romans 12:1-2 reminds me of What Is true.

I urge you therefore brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship.

And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

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This is the path I am training my mind to walk when the signs come up from the Land of Not Enough. I don’t have to gaze at those signs even if they are true. They are NOT ALL of What Is. I am learning to let go of the worn out familiar and lean in toward the Land of More Than Enough because of Christ in me, the hope of glory.

What are you letting go of in this season of your life?

Living Things Grow; Growing Things Change

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Living Things Grow; Growing Things Change

I first heard these words on Christine Caine’s podcast; Coffee with Chris. I was on a walk through our new neighborhood and her words really pierced into me since we had just landed in a new area after 15 years in the same home.  What a challenging season that was. In some ways I am only now lifting my head consistently after almost 3 years.

I had lost the sense of how hard moving was; not just the physical, but emotional move, when leaving friends and family and familiar is involved. I had lived in the same area for almost 30 years! Changing residences always involved the physical hard work of packing and sorting; giving away and throwing away. But this move? It involved the letting go of the home where we raised our sons, the friends and church we had lived among for nearly 2 decades, our pets, and all the familiarity of streets, best coffee shops, outdoor opportunities within a moment of walking out our front door.

Letting go was hard for me. I slipped into the cavern of depression where light peeked in from far above me. Finding a place to rent that fit our simple list: 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a gas range and a garage was harder than you’d think. What we didn’t realize at the time, because we were strangers to this new area, was our ideal price range was not going to find those creature comforts.  Coming from owning literally 2 times the amount of space to renting for 3 times our mortgage at home made me angry. It still does. But it is what it is.

The anger over less than ideal rentals (we’re now in our second place; a story for another time) wasn’t helping my overall attitude either.  I’ve heard that depression is anger turned inward. I don’t know if that is completely accurate but I knew that I needed to get out of the cavern somehow.  Getting outside and active was a first step. Interject the words I heard on my walk: Living things grow; growing things change.

If I am living then I will be growing AND changing. Those two words are to be expected not rejected. This is not our final home; why do I keep thinking everything needs to be hunky dory all the time? Some might call this magical thinking. In coaching we call it mindset.  Part of my work needed to be in the arena of self-acceptance instead of self-recrimination. A change in mindset.

In letting go I had to acknowledge I was focusing on what wasn’t, instead of being thankful for what is.  That awareness was the first step to real change.  To really lean in I needed to embrace change instead of being mad at it.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-7

I look at these verses and I see the progression, the process of growth. Growth causes change. I don’t want to stay the same. I want to be in the process of letting go and leaning in; of becoming my utmost for His highest.

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In this season of Lent I am doing this very thing, one action at a time.

Where do you find yourself today? Are you in the cavern of depression? Or are you buried under a pile of to dos? Wherever it is you’re not alone. Reach out to someone who can bear witness to where you are and what you’re going through.

You may comment here; it comes to my inbox before going live. If you want to simply connect with me let me know and I won’t publish your comment.

We’re not meant to shoulder this life alone.

Practicing Sabbath During Lent

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Beauty in the weeds.

It’s in simplicity that we learn to appreciate small things. Slowing down, really seeing what is around us, paying attention; these are elements that can become a part of our daily life with practice.

Practice implies doing something more than once; doing something imperfectly, but doing something with the hope of improving.

Practicing Sabbath during Lent is going to challenge me. I’ve fallen into a rhythm that uses Sunday afternoon as a “get caught up” time rather than a time of slowing down and paying attention.

What needs attention? The house, bills, laundry, groceries all call for attention. Quietly though, I begin to feel something else needs attention. My soul. I start to feel stretched when there has been too much going; too much serving; too much doing; too much listening to others. Without refilling I have nothing of value to give. My soul needs rest from all these things. My hope is that by practicing Sabbath during Lent this draining rhythm will reset.

“The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath.” Mark 2:27

God instituted rest for our good. We’re the ones who think we must fill the days with busyness. We fill and over-fill our calendars and keep going beyond what we’re really able. And our souls dry up from the drought; a lack of watering will cause all living things to suffer.

 

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Reading. Reflecting. Resting. Refilling. Reset.

Practicing Sabbath.

I may just see beauty in the weeds of life…

 

 

 

Do Less. Be More.

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I’ve come to this season of Lent with an expectation: that I will see myself in light of God’s Word in new and deeper ways.  Not too big a deal right?

The unfortunate side effect of looking with this expectation is that I see the harsh reality: as far as I’ve come in my journey toward God’s heart I still have so far to go! What used to discourage me instead reminds me of more Truth:

“Apart from Me you can do no good thing.” Jesus

This journey is with Jesus; equipped by His Spirit to teach and guide me.

The progress I’ve made in becoming more like Jesus is real, but just as real is the Truth that this journey doesn’t end in perfection here; this journey ends in the face to face Presence of God.  This knowledge helps me relax and simply enjoy the journey a little more.

I’m learning to let go of the self-imposed pressure to keep pushing myself to do more.

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We are called human beings not human doings.

Letting go of my self-imposed structure to make room for God and to allow the Holy Spirit to impress me with an action to take has been REALLY CHALLENGING for me.  I’ve struggled to reframe my entire existence from

my value is dependent on what I do  to

my value is inherent in whose I am.

This season of Lent I am becoming even more aware of the subtle places where I cling to “doing” instead of leaning into “being”.

How does this look for you?

 

Learning to Cultivate Beauty in Unexpected Places

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This beauty has been slowly showing it’s leaves as winter is leaving our area; squeezing through and into a very crowded planter. It’s right by the front door where we live; since May. I haven’t seen this plant before. It’s been too hot and dry or too cold. But the much needed rain helped this hidden perennial take the risk to shoot forth its leaves and today, it’s first blossom.

Interesting: for months I didn’t know it was even alive. Now it’s a thriving beauty in a tight space. As I’ve been reflecting on this beginning season of Lent, I’ve been considering of what I have let go and where I need to lean in.

A measure of letting go for me is stuff.  If I have a lot of paper clutter, I am hanging on to unresolved issues of time, emotion or money. I recently started sorting through a file to give away, file away or recycle my too many cute paper products!  In the sorting I came across this reflection from several years ago…long before our big move.

What does one come to when all conversations seem to lead to argument?  No gracious benefit of the doubt, no overlooking a misspoken phrase, word or tone. When one realizes that all seems lost, does one persevere to the end, hope against hope?  Or does one take the coward’s way out and leave?

Better still and a higher road, the path of daily sacrifice of self: it matters not whether there was accuracy or right tone; do not justify oneself.

Give way sincerely without guile.

Allow the other’s interpretation to be accurate and do not defend one’s position. 

Give that to God who justifies

Keep submitting oneself to Him who judges justly.

Forgive quickly, sincerely, knowing that Truth wins in the End. One may not see it fulfilled here in this part of life eternal. but one day Truth does completely win.

Make allowances for the loved one; Give grace were none is seen. Be a peacemaker not a peace breaker Remember He keeps one’s heart in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on Him.

So Lord, I submit myself to your refinement I am far too stubborn and stiff-necked. These circumstances are meant for my growth and change.

Forgive me for resisting Your ways. They are right and the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.

Change me.

He has in many ways and yet I am not done yet. That’s why I love this season. I am reminded of what has gone before, what still needs confession and repentance and where I may lean in and look for growth in unexpected places.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. For I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19

The cyclamen (the plant in the photo above)  is often treated like a hot house flower. You might see them out for Christmas or now for Valentine’s Day. But it is truly a hardy plant. It can look like it’s dead during extreme weather, but it has learned to bloom in tight, unexpected places.

I want to lean in and cultivate beauty in the unexpected places in my life. My marriage was that place many years ago. God saw and changed me. Thankfully.

Where is that unexpected place for you?

40 Days of Learning to Let Go & Lean In

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Quiet chords from the organ float through the air as I sit staring at the huge wooden cross at the front of the sanctuary. It is indeed a sanctuary; no loud voices or even footsteps confront my thoughts. I study the 13 pieces of rectangular turquoise glass that allow light to filter through from behind the cross. I wonder why 13?

The light outside is fading; the west facing windows are darkening their stained glass images fading. I wonder about a lot of things on this evening of Ash Wednesday.  Candles on the altar are lit and someone slowly brings the dimly lit sanctuary into more full light. We’re told to open our Wesleyan hymnals to And Can It Be?  My ten year old perspective on faith is youthful and full of questions: why did Jesus die? And why for me?

Today marks 48 more trips around the sun since that evening long ago. I haven’t always marked Ash Wednesday with questions and reflection but this year 2016 I want to be intentional and ask questions.

Perhaps you have asked them too?

The season of Lent begins with Ash Wednesday, a day of remembrance and confession. We remember what Christ came to do and has accomplished on the Cross in our place. We confess the many reasons that awful punishment was meant for each of us; but because of mercy and love we receive grace instead.  Some fellowships will mark the foreheads of believers with a Cross of ashes (usually from the burning of last year’s Palm Sunday palms) as a remembrance that our physical body will undergo death and decay while our soul will live on with God.

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior’s blood?

Died He for me, who caused His pain—

For me, who Him to death pursued?

Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Let’s spend the next 40 days Learning to Let Go of so much…pre-conceived notions and mindsets; old hurts; unforgiveness; physical items that don’t bring joy; you name it!  Let’s spend the next 40 days Learning to Lean In… toward the freedom offered us as we respond to God’s Word-Jesus and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

I’m going to present a daily challenge, a new way of being perhaps, for each of us to practice.  They will be fun, creative and will hopefully draw you closer to Jesus.  Lent isn’t intended to be an add on to your full life; it’s intent is to bring your awareness of God more regularly in view within your regular life. Pretty regular, eh?

So here’s a regular challenge: look around you right now. What is one item in your view that you can see that reminds you of an act not yet taken care of?  Confess it. What is another item in your view that brings a smile to your face? Who can you thank for it?

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Can We Learn Hope?

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The end of the year is coming up quickly, more quickly than the amount of time left to accomplish all the big ideas and projects I had in January.  How about you? Do you look back over this year with a confidence in how you have stewarded time?

I do and I don’t. In many areas I have shown up for myself and done what I set about to do. But in all areas? No. I have not written as many words as I had committed to.

What has kept me from writing? Me. Plain and simple. I have dodged the discipline of writing for nearly 6 years since I first felt that perhaps God wanted me to write a book about grief.  Grief isn’t a light and fluffy topic; not one that would draw you in unless…

Unless you or someone you know has experienced loss.

Wait. We ALL experience loss of one kind or another. We all grieve because so much in life comes up against the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics—everything toward entropy.   Everything changes in this world. And not always for the better. And sometimes with change, we face loss. Who wants to lose something?

Change can be hard but it can also be good.  If you’re anything like me (and you are because you’re human) then change is great when you’re in control of it. But if change is foisted upon you without your permission? Well that’s another thing entirely. Depending on the severity of the loss/change we can develop patterns of behavior in response to future loss/change. Sometimes those patterns hinder relationships—with family, with friends, with ourselves and with God.

I’m going to use the terms loss and change nearly interchangeably because in my life experiences even good changes have come with a loss; a letting go of one kind or another.  With loss there is grief—even if we don’t acknowledge it. And really, that’s the purpose of my writing most of the time—to help us develop skills and embrace tools for dealing with loss/change of any magnitude so that we can come out healthy and whole on the other side.

Change comes in lots of flavors: annual — like birthdays & holidays; seasonal– like weather & vacations; vocational– like student to employee, or job to no job. You might look at these kinds of changes as simply ‘something to deal with’ and you’re right. But hang with me for a bit; HOW we deal with change is what this life is all about. Learning to have hope in the middle of change is a choice.

We all have choices when we face change. Not all our choices benefit us.  I will go so far as to say that many of the debilitating diseases, addictions and even suicides stem from a series of choices in how we deal with change/ loss.  And those choices lead away from hope.  I believe if we have awareness of how change affects us and tools to face change/loss then we can develop healthy habits to grow through change/loss. Then we can face change with hope.

I have picked up a lot of sea glass over the years I’ve beach walked. I distinctly remember looking at the first piece I found while walking the beach on Catalina Island in 1977 and thinking “I wonder what this used to be?”

My mind started to wander over all the possibilities: a bottle? A window? A vase? Then I started to wonder how long it had been tumbling and over how many miles it had traveled.  Most metaphors break down at some point in relating them to life but sea glass has been a metaphor that God has used to help me understand the benefit of brokenness in my life and I dare to say in the lives of others. Holding a broken piece of glass that has been tumbled and resurfaced through the tumbling makes me think of how God has worked in me through times of hard change.

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I’m reminded of Paul’s letter to the church in Rome:

By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.

3-5 There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

The words above are from the Message.  In the Bible translation I read there is one word for the phrase “alert for whatever God will do next”.  That word is Hope.  I love this!  When we are met with change/loss if we remember to “be alert to whatever God will do next” we are demonstrating Hope.  In my translation it says: “and hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

We can learn to have hope when change and loss come our way.  It is possible, because all things are possible to him who believes!

Need help with Hope? I’m linking up today with Faith Barista who is encouraging her Kindreds to share on Hope during this week of Advent.  Click the link below and check out what others have shared about Hope.

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What a Difference a Preposition Makes!

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True confession: I am not easy with gratitude. I have a hard time saying Thank You to a compliment. Not only that, I’ve struggled to express gratitude. Not to others, but to God.

Living in and with emotional chaos for decades I criticized places in Scripture that were commands; dismissing their relevance to me because, well, ‘that was then and this is now’. I sat over Scripture rather than coming under it.  I lived as if I had a better understanding, a better awareness of when Scripture applied to my life was found wanting.  I was the one who was wanting, but my rebellious nature thought I was smarter, more modern, without need.

Ha!

God has been exceedingly patient with me. He has demonstrated love by pursuing my wayward heart; showing up in big and little ways, reminding me of His love, His Presence. He has changed me by His love.  I have been transformed by His Spirit.

Slowly.

I believe God and His Words of life. But I still struggle with applying them daily.

In everything give thanks, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

If this is God’s will for me in Christ Jesus, I have a lot of work to do. Being thankful has been very challenging to learn because of my tendency to keep my eyes on my circumstances. Anyone else?

How can we be thankful when chaos reigns in life?

I had confused two prepositions. ‘For’ and ‘In’.  His Word doesn’t say give thanks for everything.  It says In everything.

I can thank Him for Him.  God doesn’t change. In spite of difficult family relationships. In spite of broken relationships. In spite of disappointments, unmet expectations, losses.

I am learning to say Thank You to God for little things. In those little things I become aware of His Presence again. My perspective shifts and the former focus fades…

“When all of a sudden, 

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.”

I love these words from How He Loves by Jesus Culture:

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This week, fix your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of your faith.  Not your circumstances. Jesus.

Thankfulness flows.

Follow Me…

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