Learning Along The Way

Sound Advice

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One thing I have appreciated with the digital age is the freedom of choice of what I listen to; commercial radio is a thing of the past for me. As an avid learner I find listening to podcasts my go-to when driving; where I live a trip of 3 miles can take forty-five minutes depending on the time of day, so I make sure my favorites are downloaded daily!

I use Stitcher for my podcasts; it was recommended to me, it’s free and it’s super easy to use. Podcasts are awesome because you can find topics you love, topics you don’t know a lot about, ones focused on humor, or storytelling like old-time serial radio shows when television didn’t exist (which pre-dates me, by the way) I thought it might be fun to share some of my favorite podcasts with you on Saturdays; I’d love to have some recommendations from you as well!

My list is long; thankfully they don’t all update daily, otherwise I’d be woefully behind. I have favorite podcasts for leadership development, life as a creative entrepreneur, faith-focused podcasts, parenting, being a woman in this era and more.

My go to podcast lately is Typology by Ian Cron.

Ian interviews friends, who are also famous people, discussing life through the lens of the Enneagram. Have you heard much about the Enneagram? If not this is a great intro to the tool.

I became certified as an Enneagram coach this year so I am happy to be listening to interviews of different people sharing how knowing their Ennea core type has benefitted their work, relationships, and faith. Ian’s interviews aren’t always what I consider other-focused but he is an Ennea 4, so it makes sense.

I’ve mentioned I’m an Enneagram 7; I’ll unpack the amazing tool it has been for my emotional and spiritual well-being in another post, but suffice it to say, learning more about the Enneagram through listening to Typology podcast has been a lot of fun.

What podcast is keeping you smiling, thinking or thriving?

More “Sound Advice” I want to share is from one of my playlists on Spotify.

If you’re not using Spotify that’s ok, we can still be friends! If you are, did you know you can share playlists with your friends? I created one that I call Arena Anthems . It was actually an assignment when I was working through a semester of Daring Greatly with Brene Brown. The songs I have put on the playlist are ones that remind me to get back up when hard things have been thrown at me when I’ve been in the arena, daring greatly.

Do you know that reference? It comes from a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt, at the Sorbonne, Paris, France in 1910. For your edification, here is the quoted portion from his speech.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. 

Reading this again reminds me that my everyday work may include facing the hard things of life, getting out into ‘the arena’, which for me is offering my words to ‘the worthy cause’ of encouragement and trusting that I will be understood and accepted by a few. But those few who do hear and understand are the ones for whom my offering is intended.

Very esoteric I realize. Every once in a while I like to wax philosophical. The songs on my playlist are not all philosophical or faith-based, but all encourage me to continue, remind me to keep showing up no matter the outcome.

Life is hard sometimes; we can feel overwhelmed and under supported. Music has a way of helping bridge the gap that hurt inflicts; music can give support to be courageous in the face of hard things.

What music do you like to listen to when you need to get back up and help you

 

 

 

 

Few Facts & Fantastic Fun on Fridays

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Few Facts & Fantastic Fun on Fridays

How’s that for an alliteration?

Few Facts:

I love Fridays.

I was born on a Friday; that 14th century poem says Friday’s Child is Loving and Giving, which makes me happy.

I’m an Enneagram 7, which is called the Enthusiast, which means I am a party waiting to happen and of course,

TGIF

Don’t you love to have fun? I’ve been told Girls just want to have Fun. Makes me glad I’m not a boy (sorry guys)

But seriously, I want to add to my Summer Fun Challenge by using Fridays as the focus of ways to have Fantastic Fun. We can do this without breaking the bank and by learning to show up in little and big ways.

I’ve recognized something you probably know too; creativity wasn’t given much value in public education. It’s hard to assess creativity on a standardized test. I have a soapbox of education topics but I’m not climbing up there right now.

I want to confess my struggle with seeing myself as a Creative.

I can see in the rear view mirror how I’ve been creative my entire life but also was not encouraged in my creative pursuits.

Too much time. Too messy. Too much money for supplies. Too much.

I translated those repeated messages as being creative is not worth it. The story I told myself was creativity is frivolous, expensive, a waste. I’m so thankful for the work of Brene Brown. Her research has given me courage to tell myself a different story.

Here's the thing: logic tells me that if I'm created in the image of God, and God is creative, since I bear the imago dei, I am creative with creativity to share. Click To Tweet

I’ve started a new practice: doing something intentionally creative every day.

Often it’s taking pictures with my wonderful camera on my phone.

I’m showing up as a Creative. When someone comes to our latest place we call home for the first time I’m noticing the comments about color and peacefulness. I realize I am more of a Bohemian creative than I gave myself permission to be.

It’s time for a change.

How about some Fantastic Fun challenges on Fridays?

What about taking 10 minutes to make a card with scrapbook paper? Or coloring for a few moments in a coloring book? Or dancing to your favorite music? Or planting some flowers? Or?

I have a new friend who is a Creative, too. She does amazing fun, easy, creative projects. She also is in the process of developing a way to help the rest of us who don’t slip into creative spaces as easily. I’m looking forward to sharing what she’s up to in a post later this month.

In the meantime, how do you share your creativity? If you don’t consider yourself a creative, what story are you telling yourself about creativity?

I shared my story that I’m re-writing. Join me this month. Share your ideas, your stories. We need each other!

 

Thankful Thursdays

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I’ve been reading a pre-release copy of a friend’s new book and its gotten me thinking about words we use without giving them much thought or the weight they deserve. I’ll be writing more about the book itself later; for today the word I’ve been pondering is

I don’t know about you but if I pay attention during my day I have so many things to be thankful for. Most of the time they’re not things; a driver who waves me to go first in a parking lot, the smile of a stranger, the singing of birds in early morning light.

Practicing thankfulness isn’t hard if we’ve learned to slow down and pay attention in our moments.

That’s the hard thing isn’t it? We get so busy with our to-do lists we forget to look around at what’s happening when all goes smoothly. We don’t have a problem noticing when something isn’t going our way; or maybe that’s just me?

In any case, I’m challenging myself this month to show up in areas I’ve taken for granted.

Practicing thankfulness is one.

I spent the day today with our 3 year-old grand-daughter. We went to her local library to participate in the summer family events offered each week; both free and fun. I said YES to both of those. We had a fabulous time doing a red, white & blue craft, looking for books, participating in the Creation Station and attending the outdoor story hour with puppet show. Every step of the way I was present, enjoying following her lead, joining in with the play and picking books to read at home. She is a creative child with a fabulous imagination. She told stories in the car on the way home that had us both laughing. What’s not to be thankful for?

I don’t spend all my days with children anymore; between my education career, years of being an SAHM, and a homeschooling mom, I grew accustomed to all the joy & laughter children bring. I hadn’t realized how much I miss regular time with children. Spending time with the Grands is double fun; in a not so distant way, they are part of me.

Thankful.

In the 55 days I’m not visiting the Grands, I have a long list of thankful items too. I’ve discovered God loves to give me love gifts; reminders of His watching, considerate love for me. These love gifts often come in two very personal forms: hummingbirds and random hearts in nature. I’ve written about hummingbirds in the past; the sweet, tender mercy of God brings tears to my eyes when I recount the many times He has gifted me with eyes to see His abiding love for me.

Here along the trail

 or here in the sand

Years ago I was challenged to count the gifts after reading Ann Voskamp’s great book One Thousand Gifts. Give thanks is plopped in the middle of a list of to-dos that Paul penned to the church in Thessalonica. Here’s a part of that list:

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I love to think about ways to give thanks, to express gratitude for the many gifts I’ve been given; especially the gifts I didn’t call gifts when they arrived. Click To Tweet

As a coach I’ve worked a lot on my own growth mindset; working to see possibilities, rather than allowing the weight of hard things to bring me down.

I’ve learned the best method is to admit something is hard, acknowledge the challenge to grow through the hard stuff, and look for the potential benefits from walking through the hard times.

The most important aspect? Talk to a trusted person who listens without trying to fix what’s wrong.

I have learned to give thanks for little things that I used to gloss over. I’ve learned to capture photos of light through trees, random hearts discovered in nature, and most of all learning to speak words of thanks out loud to anyone who has gifted me in some way.

How have you learned to give thanks? How do you practice thankfulness?

Join me on Thursdays this month to capture a thankful. Use the hashtag #ThankfulThursday . We can count together! Who knows, maybe we’ll grow into thankful people?!

Word on Wednesdays

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A couple of years ago, I wanted to learn to meditate and memorize three verses. I’ve memorized a lot of verses over the years but I hadn’t dug in, slowed down and let them marinate into my soul. This was a new practice for me.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

This is the passage. Three verses packed with meaning beyond our English translation. Three verses that as I began to sit with them I realized I wanted to slow down even more and consider them phrase by phrase, not all of the three verses together.

What I learned from doing this slow, meditative practice has reframed my relationship with Jesus. That is saying something. I loved this experience so much I want to share it with you on Wednesdays for the rest of the summer. Beyond this month of Summer Fun!

This is another Way we can practice how to Show Up every day.

My desire is to encourage you to meditate on these words, phrase by phrase, allowing them time to get into your bones. Once there, they will transform you from the inside out.

It’s not magic but it is Mysterious; how does a passage of the Bible have the power to change the way we think and act? I wish I had the full answer. I do know there are countless examples of scripture transforming minds & hearts but perhaps as many of scripture being used out of context as a weapon of hatred and control rather than being wielded with grace. My question becomes “what was the context and its intent?”

As we study this passage we’ll get to see photos of the region where He was when He spoke these words, hear more about His audience and what their lives were like, and look for what this means for us as Christ followers in 2018.  I hope each of you will reply with questions or additional things you learn as you study on your own; we are all in this together! Please share. You don’t know how your question or learning may benefit someone.

For this week I’d like to encourage you to do a comparison reading of this passage in several translations. As you read, ask the Holy Spirit to bring these words to life in your mind and heart.  Choose one version that resonates as you read it and then begin to memorize the passage in that version. You have the rest of the summer!

Do You Know What You Know?

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Monday.

Somehow this poor day of the week has gotten a bad rep. Can we pin the bad rep on the  ’86 Bangles hit Manic Monday?

Photo by Rob Bye on Unsplash

I don’t think so. A quick search turns up decades more negative associations with Mondays; the beginning of the work week seems to be the culprit.

What if we shift our mindset from ‘bummer in the summer’ on Mondays to a more upbeat, positive spin?

What if over the next month we daily decide to think differently about something rather than let our brain shift to neutral and simply play the default response pattern?

I love learning. I’m wired like that. I know not everyone is and I don’t want to lose you here but if you can bear with me for just a moment, I have a good point to make and science and faith practices to back it up.

It’s said that our minds are the center of our functions as human beings. So if we change our thought patterns, we change our beliefs, which in turn shapes our actions. Neurobiology is showing that as we have a thought, a neuron fires looking for a connection point to continue moving the thought forward. As we think we develop neuro-pathways. When we think the same thought more than once, that pathway is reinforced. Think it multiple times a day and we develop a deep groove in our brains. This process is how we memorize, how we bond with loved ones, how we learn to drive, how we form opinions and so it goes.

If we don’t like the way we feel about something, we can change our thoughts about that and our feelings will follow. Sounds simple, right?

Because of what we have learned about how the brain works, shifting a mindset is a long process of repetition that must be done with awareness and intention.

In other words, one decision does not change one behavior.

Bummer. I’m always on the look out for easy, aren’t you?

Back to Mondays. I used to think Mondays were the worst. I dreaded the beginning of the week because it was work. And work meant hard, repetitive, boring drudgery. No wonder I didn’t like Mondays! Is this you?

Do you know what you know? Are you intentional in your thoughts, plans and actions? Click To Tweet

I began shifting my mindset about Mondays before I had learned anything about the science of change. I made some conscious choices to prepare for Monday on Friday before I left work. I created a habit of closing out the work week by preparing to come back Monday morning with as many tasks ready to begin as possible, minimizing the jolt of hitting the ground running on Monday morning.

Some people might label that perfectionist. As a Enneagram 7, the Enthusiast, my stretch line goes to 1 which is called the Perfectionist or Reformer. I had to learn to be consistent and disciplined like that; it’s not a dysfunction unless you HAVE TO HAVE things just so. Side note: do you know your Enneagram core type? I coach using the lens of the Enneagram so if you want to know more, let me know!

Here is my Monday yellow notepad motivation for us all:

Deciding isn’t the hard part.

Follow through is the challenge for me. What about you?

How Do You RSVP to This Invitation?

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wheatfield-glenn-carstens-peters

(photo credit: Glenn Carstens Peters via unsplash)

When I discovered this photo a tonic chord resounded in my soul. I saw it and sighed. There is such peace, such calm, a connection with the land, provision & possibility, I knew I needed to make use of it.

I spent the summer meditating and digging into three verses from the gospel of Matthew. This passage is often quoted and for good reason. It holds a beautiful invitation into this With God life:

wheatfield-glenn-carstens-peters-copy

Simply the first 3 words of Matthew 11:28-30. And yet there is no simplicity in the RSVP to this invitation.

In an RSVP we either say Yes or we say No.

Yes I will Come to You Jesus. I will come in the morning and hang out with You in silence with my coffee. Yes I will come to You when I drive on the freeway or when I take the kids to school or on my run or as I do dishes, laundry, answer email, wipe noses, change diapers, clean the house, whatever.

OR

No I can’t come to You Jesus. I’m too busy. I’ve got to take care of all the things before I can consider sitting down to read my Bible.

This invitation isn’t the Salvation invitation. This is the How You Live Your Day Invitation.

Theology calls it Sanctification.

How do You RSVP to this invitation?

If you’re anything like me, the answer changes moment by moment. Sometimes Yes Sometimes No I’m off doing my own thing.

I pray that I am more like Jesus today than I was yesterday and that I will become more like Him tomorrow than I am today. But I am easily distracted. In fact, I am convinced that I can distract myself! I don’t need anyone else to do that for me.

I desire to be saying a sincere Yes to this beautiful, simple and yet incredibly challenging invitation.

How do You RSVP to this invitation?

Speaking of invitations, I am taking the #Write31Days challenge again. This year I am writing daily over at Lisa Lewis Coaching. I’d love to have you visit and of course, share your thoughts.

 

Being Selfish Doesn’t Work

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There have been dark times for me in the past 9 years. Loss and the accompanying grief were not easy companions. Their presence was disorienting.

As a result, I’ve been stuck in the slough of despond.

 

Being stuck is a place that a coach can speak into a client’s life. Listening to the favorites, the desires and perhaps forgotten dreams all make for excellent material to construct action steps; steps forward away from being stuck.

Now in the messy middle of sorting through what is important to carry forward and what is not, I’ve learned some things about myself that shine light on the dark places.

SO what I am learning along the Way is that being selfish doesn’t work.

I’ve selfishly hidden in pain; hidden from others who would be generous with encouragement if they only knew. That’s the dark side of me.

On the Light side I’ve been wired for change. I’m a learner and activator with a large dose of restorative, with empathy and relator thrown in. I’m an ENFJ and my DISC profile is I/D. My Enneagram result is 3 =The Achiever or The Performer. I’m an inventory junky!

What difference does all of this information make in day to day life?

All these details helped me get to know how God has wired me. I’ve spent the past 9 years wrestling with the brokenness or downsides of life, looking to Him to heal the places where I’ve worked to cover the internal wounds. He has done His work. I am more fully who He has made me to be.

So now I’m writing and reading my way forward. So many great books! I’m currently looking at a classical work, John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress; a work of allegory written at a time of imprisonment for Bunyan and a much used tool of explication of the Bible.

Screen Shot 2016-07-22 at 6.44.41 PM

It’s valuable to see our story within the Greater Story. Click To Tweet

Why? Because we each have a part to play. An important part to play. When we step into the yoke with Jesus and He bears the weight, we step forward and lean in to keep in step with Him. Our part is to follow along the furrows He chooses for us to plow; the relationships He brings our way, the lives He desires us to impact for Kingdom building, simply by being who we are: God’s man or woman in the circumstances where we currently find ourselves.

Being present to our life circumstances and not looking to the sides of the furrows or off at the green grass not quite in our reach is part of our great work. It is a simple life. We’re the ones who over complicate things.

God has given us Himself, His Spirit and power to live out this life which He has provided. He loves us with a never ending love, He forgives us time and again as we gaze longingly at other things instead of fixing our gaze upon the Only One Who loves us perfectly.

Important Reminders.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble,whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.

He sings over us.

He is our shield and defender.

He is our provider and protector. 

I speak Truth to myself to bring my gaze back to Center; back to the One Who loves me best.

Loss was my experience. I recognize each of us experience hard companions differently. When I bear witness to another’s loss now, I am quick to empathize where before I knew none.

What about you? How have you gotten back on track after being disoriented? You might speak light into someone’s dark place by sharing what God has brought you through.

Being selfish doesn’t work.

I’d love to hear what you’ve learned!

A Good Road to Ride

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Since I have been thinking a lot about what the idea Living in Tandem looks like for this series, it seems I see correlations all over the place!  Some are more obvious than others, but this correlation might be a stretch for you: your calendar has an impact on Living in Tandem.

As a coach I like to know more about people than what they do for a living. It’s helpful to know how someone spends their time; if they hear themselves frequently saying “can’t, I’m busy”, what’s filling their calendar? A person’s calendar says a lot about their priorities.

The predominant American culture is driven. Calendars are full; over full to the point of producing stress. Parents are recruiting help to shuttle littles to their own over-filled activity list since we still haven’t figured teleportation out yet. (Star Trek, anyone?) This calendar thing is not just a Gen-X or Millenial issue.  It didn’t occur because of the tech revolution. The problem with our over-full lives began post- WWII in the “rebuilding” of the American dream. Baby Boomers were the first generation to experience what it means to be a ‘latch key kid’. And because it’s not a recent development, the problem is entrenched in society.  So what are we supposed to do?

We have to say No more.

I’ve fought this fight on several fronts so I know how hard it is to say No and mean it. Here are the reasons our calendars tend to fill to the brin:

1) We see others ‘doing a lot’ so we think it’s expected of us too.

2) We are afraid of missing out on something for ourselves or our children’s lives (search #FOMO) It’s a thing.

3) We are afraid of having to face our inner selves if we have too much time on our hands.

4) We’ve got a lot riding on us (other’s expectations) so we perform

I lived under the tyranny of these 4 calendar dictators for more than half my life. When the Hubster and I first married he began asking for something I didn’t know how to provide: whitespace on the calendar.  I had no idea how to let go of the things that filled our weekends and evenings.  A lot of anxiety welled up in me imagining how I would be letting people down or not doing my share or… And what in the world would we do with an empty calendar one Saturday a month?!!

In 1995, a book was published that we later were introduced to. Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives. Now there’s a title! Reading the book was one step. Putting action to what we read took more effort.  I began to recognize how the struggles with an over-filled calendar were negatively impacting our marriage and sons. Lack of margin was wearing us all down and that wasn’t going to end well.

I wrestled with my issues found in the 4 reasons above.  I’ve had many to wrestle!  But in my wrestling I wanted to know God’s thoughts on these issues.  I found comfort in this passage:

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When I first felt Micah 6:8 resonate in my soul we were singing it in church.  The simplicity and love I found there was so gentle.  There wasn’t a load dumped on my shoulders.  I began to realize ever so slowly that God’s desires for me were for my good not for my performance and over commitment.

Learning to say No was hard but it was good.  Just like change.  I had to let go of over commitment to say yes to my husband’s need for more whitespace.  Living in Tandem is like that. It’s a Good Road to Ride. Giving and receiving.

You might be facing a season of over commitment.  Or you may find your life is characterized by over commitment as mine was.  You CAN make a little change to take that first step that can lead to another and another until the over committed calendar is tamed.  It takes time, but you can do it!

What’s Eating You?

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I love gardening.  I’m not sure what part is my favorite; planning, shopping, digging in the dirt, watching things grow or enjoying the fruits (and veggies) of my labor.

photo(67)These are peas with edible pods.  Looking forward to watching them crawl up the trellis that will be put behind this box this weekend.

I also love when irrigation is free.  We’ve experienced much needed rain recently so these babies have it good right now.

I didn’t go out to visit the garden the past two days because of the rain and the blessing of time with a visiting friend.  But today this is what I discovered

photo(68)And my immediate thought was “What’s eating you?!”

Although I couldn’t see the trails of glistening slime I knew this to be the work of the dreaded garden nemesis: the Snail.

I can deal with weeds (I have learned much about my heart from weeds) I am an organic gardener so pulling instead of spraying is my way. I have dealt with a variety of pests by spraying a non-toxic soap on the leaves of plants.  I have also used marigolds and lady bugs to help with pest prevention with great results.

But snails!  Just ewww!  The best thing I ever did with snails was pay my sons to pick them, put them in a bucket and we took them to a pond where ducks visited.  Ducks love snails.  Isn’t that nice?  I don’t love snails.  I’ve used jar lids of beer (they’re gluttonous so they drink themselves to death) and I’ve also used copper tape with moderate success.  When their slime gets on the tape it actually gives them a mild shock so they back away from the tape.  Both of those you have to keep up with like weeding because the beer will evaporate and the tape will oxidize and lose its effectiveness.  This time it will be copper tape.

A thought occurred to me this morning as I asked the question of my poor peas: it wasn’t just what’s eating them?  What’s been eating me?

This past weekend my hubster and I attended a Family Life conference called The Art of Marriage.  The material was so worthwhile.  We had decided to go in part for the material but the bigger part was to meet new people from church and connect with others whom we had already met.  Good enough reasons to spend a Friday night and the better part of Saturday together and away from home.

When the event was over, the hubster and I took a detour on the way home and stopped by OSH to get a part he needed for a project.  I of course detoured through the garden center.  It’s what I do.

As I wandered through I saw lovely 6 packs of marigolds so I chose two different colors to inter-plant for pest prevention.  While I was wandering I was experiencing growing discontent; the opposite response for me when I see and walk among plants.  I didn’t like how I was feeling but I didn’t know what was up.  As the evening progressed so did my yucky discontented undercurrent.  I talked it through with the hubster and got to vent a bit: none of it was about him or us.  I felt better getting some blegh out.

It remained with me for 4 days.  Souring my days. Preoccupying my thoughts. Discoloring my experiences.  It was eating me.  Like a slimy, good only for ducks snail.

Unmet expectations.

I’d experienced the effects of what was eating me but I hadn’t found it out.  But God…when I had cried out to Him was quick to show me what was going on; like taking a flashlight out to the garden at night and catching the snails in the act!

I had expectations that I hadn’t been aware of and because they weren’t met, I was cranky like a disappointed child.

What are the expectations you have?  They might be for your marriage. Your children’s behavior. Your friendships. Your family members.

Can you name them? Identifying what your expectations are is huge.  Most of us operate from a set of expectations that we aren’t even truly aware of until something doesn’t work.

What do you do with unmet expectations?  That is a great question and one that is a real process question to unpack.  It depends. That is a lame answer I know but it’s true.  I’ve faced the silent monster many times. I’ve handled it well and mostly not so well.  This feeling of being eaten up is awful and hurts me just like it hurts the life of the plants.

This is how it’s worked this time:

I talked with a trusted friend who knows me well and holds my heart and thoughts sacred. My hubster.

I prayed asking the Lord to show me what was up.  He is faithful.

I confessed to Him my hurts and how I was allowing them to poison my thoughts about others.

I admitted my vulnerability to the small group we are a part of; that was the hardest part–risking with near strangers.  But that is the only way to be in real community is by taking risks to be known.

My process is still happening; there isn’t a quick fix for life, sorry to say.  But I know that bringing the issues to the Light is the Best Way of moving forward and learning how to deal with what’s eating me.

What’s eating you?

 

Stumble in the Right Direction

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sand footprints

I had the distinct privilege of talking on the phone this morning with a dear friend and prayer partner.  I call it a distinct privilege on purpose.  It’s always fun to talk with her; we laugh and I cry (I do that easily, ask anyone who knows me well) and we give and receive encouragement.  So why was today’s conversation a “distinct privilege”?

It was distinct: clear, certain, emphatic

She had some very specific clear communication for me as my dear friend.  She knows my heart and she knows my gifts/talents/skills and she knows where I am prone to fall.

She said clearly in response to my awareness of a need I would be skilled and experienced to fill: “that is a mud pit you don’t want to fall into.”

  

Distinct.

When I went on to share a bit about what I’ve been up to since we last spoke, she responded with more: “you are in a good place. You’re stumbling in the right direction.”

That statement caused me to grab a pen and write it on an envelope (the closest piece of paper at hand before I lost the words!)

Stumbling in the right direction.

 

We do stumble at times don’t we?  We want to make a change, or do a creative project, or make a new friend.  But things happen, sometimes out of our control and sometimes because of us.  The change is harder than we thought.  The project doesn’t work.  The person we hoped to be a new friend we discover isn’t really a good fit.

Stumble.

A stumble isn’t a fall.  There is hesitancy.  There is the recognition of fear of falling and of embarrassment.  But the motion of stumbling is usually moving you in the same direction you were originally going.

So stumbling in the right direction implies you were heading the right way in the first place.  Which of course begets the question:

Do you know where you’re heading?

It seems like I have been in the business of answering that question for 7 years!  But the process of coming to an answer has really been the evidence of ‘stumbling in the right direction.’  The fact that this process has taken me 7 years might say different things to different people, but for me the theme of these seven years has been clarity.

I have spent time asking God and family and friends, to help me find clarity. Help me see connections between experiences, talents, skills and gifts.  How best to make use of those connections.  I started a blog. Way back in 2007 when I turned 50!  This is actually my 3rd blog (the other two archives are connected here if you’re curious)

I became a Life Coach in 2009 as a connection of e.t.s.&g. (see above)  I love listening and asking questions of my clients, helping them connect the dots in their lives.

I am speaking to women in mentoring roles and in front of groups as opportunities present themselves.  I really love speaking encouragement to women!

I am writing. Not as much on paper as I have in my head to say but I am writing.  Especially in my journal. 

Through these actions I have gained clarity.  I know why I am here.  (at least at this moment!)

I found clarity in connecting a dot from a long time ago; so long ago, it was almost forgotten.  It is actually a question for all of us:

What is the chief end of man? (think humanity here)

To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

Yeah yeah, grown up Sunday school answer right?  Not at all.

Sit with me here for a moment.

If all of my moments are given as a gift from God, then thanking Him for those moments brings Him glory.  He gets the credit. Not me.  So being thankful for even the hard, yucky stuff we all go through at one point or another, is half of the main purposewe are here.

The other half? It’s

linked to life itself—enjoying God forever.  Not in forever.  Right here.  Right now.  And it’s linked to thankfulness. 

In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

 

In my stumbling in the right direction, I stumbled upon an old maxim which is bedrock.  The first question in The Westminster Catechism.

Which brings me round to why I said my conversation with my friend this morning was a ‘distinct privilege’.  She is a gift of God to many.  Her friendship and wisdom is refreshing.  We all need people like this in our lives on as regular a basis as we can make time for.  And we all need to thank God for the privilege that true friendship really is. A distinct privilege.

Two things for you to consider:

Where are you heading?  Are you stumbling in the right direction?  Into the arms of a loving God who gives good and perfect gifts?

 

Who are the friends with whom you have the distinct privilege of relating?  How can you encourage them today?

Please share your thoughts; all your comments are moderated so if it’s too private for public reading, let me know and I won’t publish it here.  I’d love to hear from you!

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