Learning Along The Way

What Changes When You’re Brave?

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I’ve been reflecting on this question: What Changes When You’re Brave, Lisa?

I’m wondering if there is a monumental shift of focus? 

Do you go out and do courageous acts like this?

 

Photo by Sammie Vasquez on Unsplash

Or this?

Photo by Leio McLaren (@leiomclaren) on Unsplash

Although I think these images demonstrate two women being brave in big ways, I don’t think these are the only ways people change when they’re being brave. We change in ways that often go unseen.

We change inside. To be brave means we need courage. The latin root of courage is cor which is heart.

(photo by Lisa Lewis)

Courage is an act of heart. Being brave means we have an internal shift away from staying stuck in fear of _____________ and a movement toward demonstrating the strength of heart that it takes to be brave.

Where can we find strength of heart?

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

As I’ve considered what’s been shifting for me through reading Annie F. Downs’ 100 Days to Brave,

what stands out are the ways God is helping me be more honest with myself, seeing areas that still need changing, without diminishing the challenge that change brings, or without disregarding the work I’ve put in so far. His grace toward me, toward you is never ending. I am so thankful.

Did you know that she has started another 100 Days to Brave Facebook group? Check it out!

But even with reading her great devotional for the past 98 days, what keeps me from bravely doing the next right thing on any given day? At any given moment? 

I’ve narrowed it down to one of two things: fear of failure and/or expectations. The fear of failure keeps me from trying to make a change. Expectations are just loaded with potential landmines to step in; they usually look like disappointing myself or someone else by not being good enough.

I’ve been putting into practice some coaching techniques I know; testing them out on myself to see if they will be helpful for others. And guess what? They’re working!

Like anything we do that is new, the first time we try the new thing, we may meet with resistance; either from inside or outside ourself. Either way, the resistance to change is where we need to apply courage to push through the resistance.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

Because the focus of my coaching is helping women connect the dots of work, life and faith, I see the need for tools to help us apply what we may already know. We still allow resistance to hold us back from connecting the dots and seeing the Way to live wholeheartedly. This can be what changes when we’re brave. Facing the resistance and pushing through to the other side.

Years ago when I was considering the name for this website, it struck me that all of life is about learning. But wholehearted living is learning to live along the Way, with a capital W. The question for me centers on how do I live a regular life keeping my eyes on Jesus? How did He live His earthly life? And now that the Helper has taken up residence in me, how am I to live as I continue learning along the Way?

With this question in mind, I’ve been putting together a course, a series of lessons with activities focusing on learning to let go of expectations and fears and learning to lean in toward the unique path Jesus has for each of us.

Lots of people develop courses and put them up for sale. I’d like to do that too eventually. But first, I’d like to run a Beta test group and I want to offer the course free to you, my dear readers.

Free. 

What have you got to lose?

This course will be six weeks in length. There aren’t grades. But like anything, you will get out of the course what you put into it. But I do want your feedback. I value suggestions. I want to know if you think there needs to be more or less material in different topics that we’ll encounter. Or if you think of something fun to add to what is already in place. That’s what a beta tester does. Gets great stuff for free and then gets to give their opinions and helpful input.

Will you help me?

All you need to do is respond to this post by Friday, Jan. 11.

You’ve given me your email already. I won’t be talking about the course here weekly, you’ll receive the material in a separate email.

The start date will be next Monday, Jan. 14.

So, who’s in?

#letgoleanin

 

Why It’s Been Scary Being Silent

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It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve posted here. It’s been a little scary being silent here. I run the risk of offending or you losing interest in my offerings. Although I’ve been writing for school, I’ve also been dabbling with old word patterns, ways of expression I set aside when evaluators lost appreciation for my words.

Here is a sample:

There’s been a quiet settling in my soul

like the hush of snowfall

I’m not certain what is coming

but I know what I’m letting go

productivity equaling my value

driven action to meet others’ expectations

busy-ness to fill the solitude 

 

 

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

 

Holy Days filled with room

Room for baking with dimpled hands and eager ideas

Room for listening, reading, laughing

Room for building

train tracks, towers and relationships

Making room for Holy hush

My hope for you in the next 15 days is a heart full of awareness of those around you and the bravery to make room. Perhaps to face the loss of those who are no longer around your table or the hurt of fractured relationship. We are still on the 100 Days to Brave journey. Whatever it may be, I pray you will face the days with courage.

What Does Showing Up Look Like?

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I don’t know you noticed, but summer is slipping away. It’s August. I used to be a classroom teacher and this is the month it all starts up again. Just look at the Dollar bins at Target. School supplies are everywhere. I want to squeeze more fun out of summer before the seasons change again.

Ever feel that desperate feeling? That frantic ‘I’ve got to make the most of this time’ kind of feeling?

I tried an experiment this summer.

I challenged myself every day in July to

 

I asked myself the question: What does Showing Up look like?

I realized a few things. To show up during the lazy days of summer is different than what it looks like to show up during the work week (or school year as it were).

Less routine is beautiful…for awhile.

Parents start longing for school to start, kids get tired of seeing the same few faces every day. Teachers never have enough time at the end of the summer to prep for all their new ideas.

Routine helps everyone. There is comfort in predictable but not suffocating schedules. How do routines and schedules affect the idea of what it means to show up?

Glad you asked.

In my July experiment to Show Up I had great plans for what I would put in my days. I planned to write and be creative everyday. I planned to read three books, plus make time to garden and attend to all my responsibilities. I’ve been blessed with lots of discretionary time; flexible work schedule and opportunities for creativity or reading or beach/pool time, whatever. Wow! What a gift!

I started well, doing all the things a little every day. Then, a change in pattern happened, and it threw me off balance.  I didn’t make the shift back to a daily checklist. I had created a stressful scenario that wasn’t what fit with my reality. I told myself I had failed. Where did that come from?

It was the story I told myself. I hadn’t stopped showing up; I was showing up differently. I recognized my temptation to have a mean-spirited internal dialogue running. I made some choices. Instead of hating on myself I decided to pay attention to what I was choosing to do.

Instead I began to notice my actions.

I sat quietly to listen to the birds longer in the morning. I lingered over coffee with my husband before he left for work. I slowed my rhythm to a pace that matched my soul.

What if showing up for yourself means paying attention to how your soul wants to move and breathe?

What if learning to live in the unforced rhythms of grace means leaving room for a last minute invitation? Or adjusting plans to be able to help a friend? Or simply sitting still to notice the activity of Creation?

What I’m learning about what it means to show up in my life is a lot less driven and a lot more grace-filled.

How about you?

 

It’s Fri-Yay!!

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It’s nearly quitting time on Friday afternoon. At least it would be if I worked a regular job. To be honest, there’s very little regular about me; even when I did work for a regular paycheck I didn’t do my work in a regular way.

In fact, I don’t think like a regular person. I’m far too out of the box and I’m pretty sure God is delighted with the way He’s made me. (see Ps. 139)

I am an Enthusiast. I’ve been in hiding thanks to many hard things in life, but God has brought me back to center. And it’s been a crazy journey of unlearning and re-learning along the Way!

One of the many learnings over the recent part of this journey has been learning to see God’s handiwork in creation with eyes of faith.

I’ve begun keeping an eye out for how God surprises me with reminders of His love. As often as possible I take pictures of the heart shape that appears in random, unexpected places.

This morning’s raspberry on my Rice Chex

The coffee sludge that I rinsed out and set aside to wash later.

The leaf along the path

These are so fun to find!

I’m wondering if you have seen random heart shapes around in your days? Do you notice?

One of the best outcomes of this part of my journey has been the practice of contemplation. Becoming contemplative is the result of spiritual practices of silence and solitude. I ran from those two words for most of my life! I told myself, “ain’t nobody got time to sit still.”

For two decades Silence was filled with the wonderful noise of family. The only silence I found was early before anyone got up. I tried to do that daily, to fill my mind & soul with God’s Word and what Oswald Chambers had to say each day. Those quiet times set the foundation for my soul; they weren’t long times, maybe 30 minutes. But I shudder to think what life would have been like for me when I lost both my parents suddenly, had I not already had the foundation of my soul built on God.

Solitude was thrust upon me when we moved. All the new was overwhelming and I reeled at the disorientation. I struggled with the compounding losses: parents, home, roles, familiar places; everything that had been regular was gone. Solitude became my familiar place. It was hard for awhile, lonely at times, but Solitude is one of the greatest gifts because I learned I am never truly alone.

Now, ten years later, I can spend hours in silence and solitude and not lose my mind. (that actually may have happened long ago, but I digress) Instead of going nuts, I have learned to listen and to see. These are gifts from the Giver of all good gifts.

In this month of personal challenge to

I’d love to have you join in. Keep an eye out for heart shapes in random places. Notice God’s handiwork, like sunrises, sunsets, cloud formations, the smiles of children, birds singing, whatever.

Let’s collect them and share them.

 

What 3 Things are on Your Thankful List Today?

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Last week on Thursday I was with our son & family; going to the Library with our grand-daughter, playing and simply enjoying time as an extended family.

So thankful.

 

Today I’m back in the Bay Area, meeting a young friend for coffee and encouragement, and attending a writing/planning event for creative entrepreneurs, which I guess I am.

But in the in betweens? There have been thoughts of you, dear reader. I’ve thought about what your life is like today, what you’re able to pay attention to, what the time is revealing, if you’re feeling hurried and behind, or relaxed and care-free.

You see, I pray for you. Even if we haven’t met and I don’t know your face in a crowded room, God knows and sees and cares. I don’t need to know the details you want prayer for; God knows.

So I’m curious, what are three things on your Thankful List today?

Why 3? I love 3 because it reminds me of God who exists in 3: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Three is also a short list which is do-able right? I also know that once you slow to count three things or experiences or people that you are thankful for, the chances are you’ll go past three!

Let’s keep showing up each day; developing the habit of thankfulness and paying attention to the Presence that is eternally with us.

Sabbath Reflections

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Have you ever signed up for being critiqued? You said to yourself, “I want to get better at ______; so I am going to ask others to tell me how I can improve.” Have you done that with someone who is a professional in the area you want to improve?

I get a sick stomach ache when I think about it.

I did that. I attended a Writers’ Bootcamp in 2016 and asked for critique of my writing. I submitted myself to another’s examination and judgment. What I found was not only helpful but encouraging.

That person has included me as part of his launch team for his soon to release book, Learning to Speak God from Scratch.

His work is a thoughtful examination of words that have been deemed sacred in various religious practices and have become words tossed about without the sacrosanct respect said words deserve.

Sabbath is one of those words for me.

I grew up in the ‘Chr-easter’ tradition: parents who attended church as children without developing much faith around the practice of going to church, and who chose to raise their own children with knowledge of the two “important” Christian holidays of Christmas and Easter. I heard the important stories of God and Jesus, but missed the why of value in knowing about them.

Head versus Heart. Religion versus Faith.

I came to faith in Christ at 23 after a lot of searching for love in all the wrong places. I was standing outside at Aztec Center near midnight, sweeping the patio and emptying trash cans; the duties of a night job I had while I was pursuing my teaching credential. I stood silent on a cold February night looking up at the stars and simply asked, “If you’re real God, would you let me know?”

The response was equally silent but immediate: two stars that were parallel and looked liked eyes looking at me, twinkled. And my heart expanded and I believed. That was it.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. The exact date? Nope. But the fact that I asked for a sign and got a response was enough to convince me.

The people I knew who were Christians also practiced a literal religion; do what was spelled out in the Bible and all of life will go well.

I’ve never been very good at following people’s rules; I wonder, what about all the other possible responses? Click To Tweet

Learning to love Sabbath was one of those to-dos.

Where are you with practicing Sabbath?

Is it a burden? A religious convention meant for others to follow? An old-fashioned word that has little meaning in today’s immediate-oriented and production-driven culture?

My learning along the Way has shown me Sabbath is a gift of rest.

I tried to make it a ritual and hated it. I prepped all the meals the day before, I made sure all the clothes were ready for church the next day, I ran myself ragged in order to rest. I wanted Sabbath to be a wonderful practice but how I was approaching it wasn’t working. When I recognized it to be something to help me slow down, to notice God at work and take time to re-create, the meaning of Sabbath was transformed for me.

In my month of Showing Up I am trying to put into practice things I’ve attempted and dropped at various points in life. I invite you to join me in this week’s challenge. I’m going to sort through ideas and stuff to begin getting rid of what doesn’t fit anymore.  What ideas, what stories, what things, don’t work in this season of life?

The stories I tell myself, the items I hang on to, the clothes that I keep for that ‘someday’ are all going to be critiqued and evaluated; looking for what is valued, deemed worthy of keeping and what needs to be given away.

Practicing Sabbath rest has given me room for reflecting on what is important and what is no longer of value for me.

Are you willing to take inventory? Have you already made this a practice in your life? I’d love to hear how practicing Sabbath rest has opened up your awareness.

Sound Advice

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One thing I have appreciated with the digital age is the freedom of choice of what I listen to; commercial radio is a thing of the past for me. As an avid learner I find listening to podcasts my go-to when driving; where I live a trip of 3 miles can take forty-five minutes depending on the time of day, so I make sure my favorites are downloaded daily!

I use Stitcher for my podcasts; it was recommended to me, it’s free and it’s super easy to use. Podcasts are awesome because you can find topics you love, topics you don’t know a lot about, ones focused on humor, or storytelling like old-time serial radio shows when television didn’t exist (which pre-dates me, by the way) I thought it might be fun to share some of my favorite podcasts with you on Saturdays; I’d love to have some recommendations from you as well!

My list is long; thankfully they don’t all update daily, otherwise I’d be woefully behind. I have favorite podcasts for leadership development, life as a creative entrepreneur, faith-focused podcasts, parenting, being a woman in this era and more.

My go to podcast lately is Typology by Ian Cron.

Ian interviews friends, who are also famous people, discussing life through the lens of the Enneagram. Have you heard much about the Enneagram? If not this is a great intro to the tool.

I became certified as an Enneagram coach this year so I am happy to be listening to interviews of different people sharing how knowing their Ennea core type has benefitted their work, relationships, and faith. Ian’s interviews aren’t always what I consider other-focused but he is an Ennea 4, so it makes sense.

I’ve mentioned I’m an Enneagram 7; I’ll unpack the amazing tool it has been for my emotional and spiritual well-being in another post, but suffice it to say, learning more about the Enneagram through listening to Typology podcast has been a lot of fun.

What podcast is keeping you smiling, thinking or thriving?

More “Sound Advice” I want to share is from one of my playlists on Spotify.

If you’re not using Spotify that’s ok, we can still be friends! If you are, did you know you can share playlists with your friends? I created one that I call Arena Anthems . It was actually an assignment when I was working through a semester of Daring Greatly with Brene Brown. The songs I have put on the playlist are ones that remind me to get back up when hard things have been thrown at me when I’ve been in the arena, daring greatly.

Do you know that reference? It comes from a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt, at the Sorbonne, Paris, France in 1910. For your edification, here is the quoted portion from his speech.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. 

Reading this again reminds me that my everyday work may include facing the hard things of life, getting out into ‘the arena’, which for me is offering my words to ‘the worthy cause’ of encouragement and trusting that I will be understood and accepted by a few. But those few who do hear and understand are the ones for whom my offering is intended.

Very esoteric I realize. Every once in a while I like to wax philosophical. The songs on my playlist are not all philosophical or faith-based, but all encourage me to continue, remind me to keep showing up no matter the outcome.

Life is hard sometimes; we can feel overwhelmed and under supported. Music has a way of helping bridge the gap that hurt inflicts; music can give support to be courageous in the face of hard things.

What music do you like to listen to when you need to get back up and help you

 

 

 

 

Few Facts & Fantastic Fun on Fridays

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Few Facts & Fantastic Fun on Fridays

How’s that for an alliteration?

Few Facts:

I love Fridays.

I was born on a Friday; that 14th century poem says Friday’s Child is Loving and Giving, which makes me happy.

I’m an Enneagram 7, which is called the Enthusiast, which means I am a party waiting to happen and of course,

TGIF

Don’t you love to have fun? I’ve been told Girls just want to have Fun. Makes me glad I’m not a boy (sorry guys)

But seriously, I want to add to my Summer Fun Challenge by using Fridays as the focus of ways to have Fantastic Fun. We can do this without breaking the bank and by learning to show up in little and big ways.

I’ve recognized something you probably know too; creativity wasn’t given much value in public education. It’s hard to assess creativity on a standardized test. I have a soapbox of education topics but I’m not climbing up there right now.

I want to confess my struggle with seeing myself as a Creative.

I can see in the rear view mirror how I’ve been creative my entire life but also was not encouraged in my creative pursuits.

Too much time. Too messy. Too much money for supplies. Too much.

I translated those repeated messages as being creative is not worth it. The story I told myself was creativity is frivolous, expensive, a waste. I’m so thankful for the work of Brene Brown. Her research has given me courage to tell myself a different story.

Here's the thing: logic tells me that if I'm created in the image of God, and God is creative, since I bear the imago dei, I am creative with creativity to share. Click To Tweet

I’ve started a new practice: doing something intentionally creative every day.

Often it’s taking pictures with my wonderful camera on my phone.

I’m showing up as a Creative. When someone comes to our latest place we call home for the first time I’m noticing the comments about color and peacefulness. I realize I am more of a Bohemian creative than I gave myself permission to be.

It’s time for a change.

How about some Fantastic Fun challenges on Fridays?

What about taking 10 minutes to make a card with scrapbook paper? Or coloring for a few moments in a coloring book? Or dancing to your favorite music? Or planting some flowers? Or?

I have a new friend who is a Creative, too. She does amazing fun, easy, creative projects. She also is in the process of developing a way to help the rest of us who don’t slip into creative spaces as easily. I’m looking forward to sharing what she’s up to in a post later this month.

In the meantime, how do you share your creativity? If you don’t consider yourself a creative, what story are you telling yourself about creativity?

I shared my story that I’m re-writing. Join me this month. Share your ideas, your stories. We need each other!

 

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