Learning Along The Way

Perspective

By

Ever have one of those days when you want somebody to feel sorry for you?

Yesterday I was ready to have a pity party.  I thought about sending out invitations so others could join in.  It wasn’t a particularly bad day or anything, I was just feeling sorry for myself.  It was hot (90 degrees) and I had to ride my bike home (3 miles).
The distance on the hot day was almost enough to keep me from getting on the bike to go home.  But I am really trying to honor my commitment to myself; I am attempting to be a serious bicycle commuter.  I have to remind myself of the benefits: exercise, saving money, getting to be outdoors, getting stronger as a cyclist…there are lots of benefits, really.

Back to my pity party (it’s all about me you know!) So there I was, time to go home from work and reminding myself of the benefits and the fact that no one in my family would be available to pick me up anyway.  I got on the bike and rode 4 blocks to the Jennifer Street Bridge, which spans the railroad tracks I need to cross to get home.  The bridge has switchback ramps that allow bikes to be ridden over but you have to be careful at the turns, watching out for others coming from the opposite direction.  

As I neared the bottom on the other side, I could see two women chatting so I slowed down even more.  By the time I made the last turn they had finished their conversation and started out on their runs down the lovely running/cycling trail.  They weren’t together; one had started out ahead of the other woman at a faster pace.

The second woman was the one who caught my attention.

She was starting out on her run too, but a little more slowly.  She was an amp runner.  Her leg was fitted with the same state of the art device as the runner from South Africa, Oscar Pistorius,  who ran in the Olympics.

As I was coming alongside to pass her on my bike, I wanted to say something, acknowledging her presence on the trail, but just saying Hi seemed not enough considering the effort she was putting out.  So instead I called out “You go girl!” with a thumbs up.

It was 90 degrees in the middle of the day and she was going on her run.  Suddenly my pity party came to a screeching halt.  I was blessed with perspective at that moment.  All of my whining and complaining looked so foolish in a blink of an eye.  I was glad I hadn’t sent out invitations to my pity party after all.

I love how quietly God will draw my attention away from my minor issues to give me eyes to see someone with real issues.  But she wasn’t feeling sorry for herself.  She was cheerful and working to overcome challenge in spite of the weather and physical limitations.  She called out to me, “have a nice day”, and I thought, how dare I not have a nice day?

Perspective.  What challenge is in your day today?  One piece of encouragement that I have gleaned from Scripture is that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  This part of God’s Word reminds me that the Creator of the Universe, Who spoke things into existence, lives in me and through His strength I am able to do all things.  Including riding my bike 3 miles in 90 degree heat!

I don’t know that sweet woman’s spiritual condition, but her countenance was full of joy and her actions were full of perseverance and determination.  Seeing her running did not make me feel sorry for her at all.  Actually I was quite inspired to do what I can physically and at the same time humbled for my ungrateful attitude.

Perspective is everything.  When you want to have a pity party, wait to send out the invitations.  Gain some perspective instead.

Life Lesson #3 Keep On

By

I have been under the pile.  Things to do.  You know, the usual: laundry, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, cooking. Add in relationships with family and friends, don’t forget work, and then fit in hobbies like gardening, reading, learning music, sewing.  Now add some major life events: college graduation for one son, college planning for the other, wedding planning for the firstborn and just to make life more interesting: The Change has come upon me.

I had all but abandoned my writing when, in the middle of the craziest busiest week this month, I looked out the window and saw this sight

I was immediately reminded of my unfinished blog series on Life Lessons.  So here it is.

Keep On.

The sunflower that had fallen is the tall one on the left.  If you don’t know sunflowers, it’s the tall skinny plant in the top row, directly above the garden arch in the picture.  It only slightly leans forward from the others. Hardly noticeable in its difference.  The brokenness that could have killed it now has become a testimony of perseverance.  Keep On.

I have been slowed down in my life by circumstances.  Or at least that’s the excuse I am clinging to right now.  But my circumstances are my life.  So how am I slowed down?  By my attitude about the circumstances.

Allowing my focus to be on the hurry and worry, rather on the acceptance of what is; the lack of seeking wisdom of what to let slide; neglecting the need to reach out to others for help; not speaking a very short word that is a step to freedom: “No”, have all contributed to a dry, distracted, unfocused life.   This is not the way to Keep On.

The sunflower shows me.  Keep seeking life.  Be renewed.  Keep On.

He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)

Mindset adjustment: abundant does not mean DOING MORE!

Abundant means life giving: Jesus in us, for us and to others.  Overflowing life.  Strengthening life. Joyful life.  Even in really tough circumstances.

My circumstances are NOT tough right now.  But I have had them.  You might be having them now.

Where do you seek life that changes you, that strengthens you?

I look to Jesus.  He lifts my head.  Through the Word. In the garden. In the chirping of birds. Through music. Laughter.  Oh that we might have eyes to see and ears to hear!

Friends, don’t let the busy-ness of your circumstances distract you from seeking life!

I made myself take time to read this morning instead of “getting right to work”.  I finished a terrific book, Beautiful Outlaw, by John Eldredge.  He ends the book with this:

“But this Jesus—this Beautiful Outlaw—if his exquisite life were to invade ours…oh, my.  It would change everything.”

Seek life.  Keep On.

His prayer at the end of his book was my prayer this morning.  It can be for you as well:

“Jesus, invade my life.  Cleanse this temple. Produce your Cana in me.  I give my humanity to you, to be restored by your humanity.  I give my life to you to live your life.”

 

Keep On.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunflower Life Lesson #2–Develop Strong Roots

By

When I first talked about the amazing gardening experience, I briefly mentioned that, although the sunflower was lying down among its neighbors the cantaloupe and watermelon plants, it was not uprooted.  The sunflower was already 5 feet tall when it fell.  That means there was a deep, strong root system already in place so that the plant didn’t die when this trauma hit.

 

What life lesson is here for us?  Develop Strong Roots.

 

The question is: How does one do that exactly?

 

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you already know that I have weathered some really difficult seasons. I would guess you have too since life is not easy!  It’s funny that we think it should be; if we do all the right things then the result will be a good healthy life, great kids, a spouse who treasures us, a house with a white picket fence and a garden without weeds or gophers.  Ideal perhaps, but not reality.

 

How do we develop strength to withstand trauma that comes out of nowhere?

 

Develop Strong Roots.

 

Strong Roots take time, nourishing soil and water.

 

Time—a regular habit of spending time reading, hearing, and thinking about God’s Word.  Investing in your soul takes your time.

 

Nourishing soil—Jesus taught about soil. The soil of our heart can be nourished by praying for God’s work in our lives; memorizing Scripture; humbly surrendering to growth and change that He leads us to make that results in a changed heart more like His.

 

Water—Jesus told the Samaritan Woman “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”  Jesus is the Gift of God Himself to each of us.  He lived the life we should live, died the death we deserve, and was raised from the dead so that we may have hope knowing that our physical death has no lasting victory. His Spirit will live in you, to strengthen, guide and empower you when you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;  for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

 

Life Lesson #2: Develop Strong Roots to be able to be lifted up by the Master Gardener when the difficulties of life knock you down.

“ Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. “For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.”

Know that I am praying for you, dear reader: that you call on the name of the Lord; that you nourish the soil of your heart in Him.

 

Sunflower Life Lesson #1 –Desperate

By

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I showed you this picture yesterday.  I was struck by how desperate this sunflower was to point toward the sun.

 

This plant absolutely twisted its stem into a crook shape to face its head upward.  That took a lot of the plant’s energy.  But because it’s in a growing season, the plant didn’t even stop growing!

 

Are my daily time investments keeping my head upward?

 

I wonder…how desperate am I to point myself, to reorient my life, no matter what, toward the Son?

 

Do I hunger and thirst for a right relationship with God or am I just saying ‘I’ll get to that later when my to do list is complete’?

 

Some questions are rhetorical; asked for the sake of discussion without having or needing an answer.  Some questions are direct and in need of answering.

 

These questions need my attention.  They need your attention for your life, too.

 

How desperate are you?  Enough to change your whole life focus?

 

 

Resilient (or How Does My Garden Grow?)

By

I had the most amazing gardening experience ever!  If you’re not into gardening, that’s ok, it wasn’t super technical but there is a great story so bear with me.

 

A week ago our son graduated from Biola University.  We don’t live in the LA area so attending his graduation meant traveling down a day ahead.  Since we were going to be down there anyway we had made plans to be gone the whole long holiday weekend.

 

We left on Friday afternoon.  If you’re a mom you know how much preparation goes into getting ready to leave; for me it includes surveying the garden for potential issues that might need attending to before leaving.  All was in order so we were good to go.

 

It was a wonderful graduation; made this Momma very proud!  But I digress; the event is not the focus of the gardening experience!

 

After returning home four days later, I went out to survey the garden.  I found one of the giant sunflowers lying down in the middle of the cantaloupe and watermelon plants.  It hadn’t been uprooted so I knew I could stake it up and it would be okay.  That’s not the amazing part.  I’m getting there.

 

I wish I had thought to capture this with a photo.  While it was lying there on its side for 3 -4 days, the head of the sunflower, not yet in bloom, had turned itself upward toward the sun.  The stalk of the sunflower had to twist itself around in order to face upward.  When I staked the plant up it was crooked and the head was facing the wall behind the plant.  This would be a gardening experiment for sure.

One week later, this is what the plant looked like:

 

 

I have gleaned a lot of metaphors from this gardening experience.  As another experiment, I’d like to hear from you!

What life lessons do you recognize from my amazing gardening experience?

I’ll share mine tomorrow!

Do or Be? That is the Quest

By

Do. Be.  An apparent contrast in terms; but is it?

 

I have spent a majority of life in the doing arena.  Get good grades.  Do your best.

Striving for approval, recognition, acceptance.  Our culture places value on achievement.  We are trained up to fit in, act right, look a certain way, have an acceptable spouse with an acceptable career; live in a particular place, drive acceptable cars.  The list goes on.

 

None of these things or goals are necessarily bad unless the motive behind the goal is bad.  Bad motives?  What would those be?  The interpretation of motives depends on your worldview.  By what measuring stick do you compare yourself?

 

With the measuring stick of the world, the list above will be evaluated by what is the biggest and best.  Who determines what is best?  Your peers?  The advertising agencies?  The opinions of your family and friends?  The measuring stick fluctuates with the popular influence of culture.  When have you arrived?  When can you simply relax and enjoy life?  How much is enough?

 

What if you wanted to change the stick, which measures you?

 

Unfortunately many who choose to walk along the Way as a Christ follower bring with them the measuring stick of the world and apply it to how they’re doing as a Christian.  Suddenly without recognizing it, the life of faith takes on the life of the works focused world and relationship with God is sacrificed on the altar of performance: serving on committees, teaching Sunday school, leading a small group, helping with AWANA.  Again, none of these activities is bad unless the motive for doing them is.

 

What if there is a different way?  A way of living simply; a way of enjoying just being without striving for…whatever?  Do or Be. Now that is the Quest.

 

There is a different Way.

 

Slow down.  Get off the merry go round.  Spend time alone with the Lord, in silence.  Write in a journal.  Sit still outdoors.

Listen to the birds.  Focus on one sight or sound.

 

Be still and know…

 

Grace to Learn

By

What is it about learning that takes so long for some and goes so quickly for others? I’ve studied learning theories for years; the variables are endless. In the final analysis, it boils down to one common statement: learning is unique to each individual. Parents know this as they watch their children learn to feed themselves, walk and talk. No one goes through learning in exactly the same way. Wise parents give their children room to try, practice and make mistakes, knowing that the missteps are tools in learning what does work.
Interestingly some of us lose sight of this truth, developing unrealistic expectations of ourselves that we apply to all aspects of our lives. I’ve been spending the past year learning about mindset and it’s affect on our actions. I have also been at work changing mine (mindset) in several areas; one of which is how fast (or slowly) I learn something and what I tell myself in the process.  This actually relates in a big way to why I have been silent in the blogosphere for this past year. Without diving into too much detail, I have spent a great deal of time attempting to learn how to develop my own website using lots of tools and support services available. Notice I said “attempting”. In this process I learned several things: html code is full of details; I have an unrealistic mindset of how quickly I can learn and apply new knowledge; I don’t give myself much grace.
I don’t know if you struggle with an unrealistic mindset/expectation, but I’ll tell you what, it’s a burden! How I think affects how I act. No one “sees” my thoughts but they do see my actions and re-actions. I am hard on myself when I can’t do something quickly and correctly. I have said many unkind things to myself that I WOULD NEVER say to another human being. This internal dialogue leaks out in ways I had not seen until I started to learn about Mindset. Anybody else like that? Where does a negative mindset come from? I have recognized that knowing how I formed a negative, unrealistic mindset is not as valuable as knowing how to change my mindset. I’ve also learned I can’t change my mindset without encouragement and accountability.

Knowing where I am (in this case a negative, unrealistic mindset) and where I want to be (speaking grace to myself when I can’t do something quickly/correctly) has been a big part of my learning along the Way this year.  People close to me know that when I have learned something I think is worth sharing I am ready to burst with excitement to share!  I’ve decided to use my blogging as a venue to share what I’ve been learning, ever hopeful that it will be a benefit to others.  As you see me writing more, I’d love to hear from you.  Or if you are the quiet, vicarious learner just subscribe to my RSS feed.  Either way, I’d appreciate knowing if what I have learned is making a difference for others.

Loss

By

I just learned of the passing of a young man from eternity present to eternity future. He had turned 21 a month ago.

The details of his death are not as important as the loss of his life here. I cannot fully comprehend the depth of grief a mother feels at the death of a child; that path has not been mine to walk as yet. I have learned several truths about grief that I’ve experienced:

“We do not grieve as those without hope…” (1 Thess. 4:13)

Those who know Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord will be with Him in Paradise

“For to be absent from the body is to be at home with the Lord” (2 Cor. 5:8)

So we are with Him face to face!

God will not waste our grief no matter how deep and how long we grieve.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Cor. 1:3-4)

And that the mystery of this following passage will make sense in a way that it may not yet have:

“Consider it all joy my brethren when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” (James 1:2-3)

I am still learning the depth of the truths the Apostle Paul conveyed in his letter to the Philippians (for us it’s referred to as Phil. 3:8-14)

But for now, I have tears. Momma tears, imagining never getting a hug and kiss from this son again. Imagining the empty chair at the holidays. Grieving as only One can fully comprehend.

“Jesus wept.” Shortest verse with greatest depth.

New Year, New Decade, Not so New Goals

By

The new year is three days old and I have heard and read countless references to resolutions, inspirations to lose weight and the challenges for both the coming year and the new decade. All of them can be a little daunting that’s certain, but I have decided on a way around being overwhelmed! Rather than making a long list of new resolves to tax my brain to remember, I am going to focus on one overarching goal.

Be my best self possible.

You’ve heard “be yourself, you’re the only one qualified” or the Army’s slogan “be all that you can be” so my goal is not so new. But it feels a little less like a to do list that I may mess up on right away! Instead it feels like a good “to be” which I have learned is exactly what I am supposed “to do” is to simply BE.

So as this year gets going and you are thinking about things you want to add or subtract, share them please! I would love to be inspired by what you are up to and I’d love to know what you are learning to add or subtract!

Who are Weary and Heavy Laden

By

 

It’s been too long since my last post. But it is time to break the silence.

I feel a little like a story told of Mahatma Gandhi. A young mother came to him seeking help with her son. She asked him simply if he could tell the boy to stop eating sugar, that it was bad for him. Gandhi pondered her request for a moment and asked her to come back in three weeks with her son. The mother thought this an odd request but did as the wise teacher had told her to do. When the time had passed she returned with her son to hear what the wise teacher would say to her son. Gandhi simply said to the boy, “do not eat sugar it is bad for your health.” The mother was confused and asked him, “Why did we wait three weeks to hear you say such a simple statement?” Gandhi replied, “ I could not speak a truth that I was not practicing myself. I had to learn to live without sugar before I could tell your son to live without sugar.”

 

The next part of my post comes out of what I had to learn; I needed to practice before I had wisdom to share. We know we live very busy, full lives. Some of you are working in and outside your homes, caring for children, caring for aging parents, dealing with unemployment or the potential for unemployment. How can we continue on the paths of the incredibly busy lives we have without crashing and burning out? Stated simply: We can’t keep going at the pace we are without disaster.

 

That’s a pretty bleak assessment I realize but hear me out. There are things that can be done to avoid disaster, but you have to be intentional about your choices and actions. If you have already looked at life and seen there are no changes that can be made to lighten the current load then the next step is to look back at the road map and see where your rest stops are.

 

That may be a strange analogy but if you can imagine your life as a journey and you are traveling on a superhighway, going at a fast pace with little or no stops, you know you are going to get road weary and need a break. That’s what the rest stops are for. Don’t just keep going, stop and take a much-needed break.

highway traffic

Jesus is calling to us while we are rushing along with all the burdens of the family calendar and needs on our shoulders. He is standing quietly as the road sign we speed past saying, “Stop in here. I will take your burdens and give you a much needed break.” Problem is, we keep driving and say to ourselves, “I don’t have time to stop! There is so much to do! Time is short! These things need to get done!” With this mindset we are headed for disaster.

 

Our rest stops need to happen. They need to be regular and frequent. We are fools to think we can go long periods of time without refreshment and relief. We suffer unnecessarily because we think we can travel a little bit farther without a break.

 

Enough for now. Think about your current circumstances. When was the last time you really took a break?


Follow Me…

Categories