Learning Along The Way

What Inspires Courage in You?

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Happy First Friday in October!

I love autumn or fall, whichever you prefer to call it. The colors change, even in California. Certainly not as gloriously as other parts of the world but the crisping of the air, the change of the season inspires me.

I’m not sure why, but this time of year seems to carry me forward into doing new things instead of slowing down like the plants are doing as the temperature cools.

This fall, the new thing I am doing is recognizing the little ways I choose to be brave. I want to pay attention to the feelings of uncertainty, of fear, and instead of allowing those feelings to shape my thoughts and actions, I am choosing to take a brave step to deal with the issue at hand.

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave, by Annie F. Downs, her devotional published last October. Daily she talks about what brave is and invites the reader along on the journey to unlock your most courageous self. 

Today she spoke of courage. I love that word.  I am a word-nerd. True story: when I was a freshman in college, in my first semester, in the fall of 1975, I would go to the Library and read the Oxford English Dictionary of Word Origins. Maybe it felt safe to hang out where people were, even if I didn’t know them; a 17 year old kid who knew no one created a sense of belonging in the library. That is a story for another time.

I hung out in the library reading the OED of Word Origins not once or twice, but weekly for a couple of months. Not because I had a course requirement; I fell in love with knowing where words come from and a bit about how they came into being.

Courage is one of those words. Why did it stir in me a desire to stand up straight, square my shoulders and take a stand? There is a reason. It’s an awesome word!

The origin of courage is latin, the root is cor and it means heart. 

When you take courage, you are receiving strength of heart, of purpose, of meaning. 

 

Courage is similar to brave not only in meaning but also because we don’t think of ourselves as having courage or being brave in little ways. But somedays it takes courage to simply do the next thing. 

We need to be reminded. We need to be willing to ask God for courage and then to take a small step of courage to be strengthened to do the next thing. 

One step leads to the next. After a few courageous steps you may realize you’re stronger than you know. 

What’s most important is that we take that brave first step.

Why? to What? Asking Different Questions Matters

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I’m a curious person by nature. I remember getting in trouble for asking, “Why?” 

I still ask a lot of questions. How about you? See? Another question!

Now I get to ask questions in my work. As a coach, I listen, ask questions of my clients, and help them discover their next action step in work, life & faith. It’s the best career for a curious person.

So here’s my question for you: What was a recent brave thing you did?

Was it getting out of bed this morning to face a daunting to do list? Was it dealing with a difficult person at work? Or facing the fact that your parent is declining quicker than anyone was ready for?

Being brave doesn’t just mean dealing with BIG struggles. Being brave can come in quiet ways, too.

My most recent brave thing happened today.

Today is my birthday. You might think, ‘How did you have to be brave on your birthday?’ It starts with a memory.

When I was little I used to announce a countdown to my birthday, beginning two months ahead of the big day! I wanted to make sure EVERYONE knew my birthday was coming and just how old I was going to be. My Mom would make whatever flavor of birthday cake I wanted, even if I wanted two flavors. One year, my 9th birthday, she made a layer cake with one layer of chocolate and one layer of banana cake with whipped cream and fresh banana slices in between with chocolate frosting all around. That was amazing, and obviously memorable. 

I suspect she went out of her way that year because we had just moved to a new part of town and I was in a new school. My birthday comes only a month into the school year and as a new student, I hadn’t made friends to ask to a party. Sad. So my Mom went out of her way to make our family time special.

Even as I write this I’m tearing up because I realize how the past 11 birthdays have not been the same since my Mom & Dad died. I guess I try to be brave and cover over the sadness so I’m not a downer, but in reality, I miss them. 

We had a crazy, complicated, and dysfunctional family. But it was my family. I’ve supported the livelihoods of several counselors through the years (other brave stories) as I’ve worked through family of origin stuff, but they were still my family, and in spite of the crazy, I love them.

My brave act today was smiling through the sadness. 

I’m so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who took the day off so we could drive to the coast and walk on the beach. I am so fortunate to have two amazing sons who both called to wish me a Happy Birthday. I am so fortunate to have loving cousins who sent me cards and SO MANY LOVING FRIENDS who mailed cards, texted, or commented on social media, sharing loving thoughts. Such a great birthday!

I still ask the questions of God though.

Why?

Why did they have to die so young? Why was life so complicated? Why so much pain?

All the questions of a curious person.

I saw this planter at the retreat center I visited last weekend.

It’s on a beautiful prayer path with a sign post that poses a new Way to be brave:

Instead of asking Why in the face of pain, move to asking, What? 

What do you want to do through this situation? What can I learn? What can bring you glory in these hard circumstances?

Being brave may be a private act of trust; looking to God in spite of the sadness we face and placing our hope in the One who redeems all things, which includes our sadness.

What brave act have you experienced or witnessed? As Annie says in her book, 100 Days to Brave

When we see brave out in the world, it inspires us.

Share what inspires you. It just may help someone else to be brave, too.

What Comes to Mind When You Hear the Word Brave?

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What comes to mind when you hear the word Brave?

I’m working my way through 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. In today’s entry she encourages readers to journal about two or three incidents in your life that might be labeled brave.

I recently watched the Disney movie Brave with my 3 year old granddaughter, who also has curly red hair like the main character Merida.

We watched Merida be brave in several ways. She wanted to learn activities traditionally belonging to men like archery. She rode a horse. She fought for her family. None of these brave acts were the same. She was brave in big and little ways.

What about you? Does your definition of brave leave room for little acts of bravery or only big ones?

Sometimes being brave means admitting I have needs. Asking for help was deemed a sign of weakness, a ‘less than’ statement growing up. One of my early memories of having a need was coming into the house after I had fallen down skinning my knees to the point of bleeding (again) and having my mom tell me that the Bactine and bandaids were in the bathroom. I was seven. Now mind you I was a rough and tumble kid. She was probably tired of my superficial wounds. But her response stuck with me.

Childhood memories can become story starters for the way we look at things as an adult. Being brave is admitting the story we're telling ourselves may not be accurate. Click To Tweet

The story I told myself about my depression was not an encouraging one. My inner critic was a nonstop voice of self-recrimination looping through my thoughts. “What’s wrong with you?” was on an infinite loop in my head. I had a hard time focusing. A hard time finding joy. A hard time admitting I needed help.

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave. Today Annie wrote of her move from Georgia to Nashville, TN. She shared how hard the move was. A line from the page really resonated with me

I never felt brave. But day after day, I just did the next thing, took the next step, said the next yes.

I used to think that moving was a great adventure, that it was an opportunity to learn new things, meet new friends and have more fun. That was until we moved from our home of 15 years, emptying our nest and relocating all in a couple of months. I had no idea how hard it would be to make a new start in a new area. Nothing was familiar. Finding a grocery store became a chore; finding my way around became more than I wanted to face most days, so I slipped, ever so slowly, down the slope into depression.

It took several months before I admitted I needed help. Thankful for the internet I found a Christian counselor who has helped me work through my depression and other areas of emotional need that I had hidden away.

Maybe that’s you, suffering in silence. Maybe your brave act is to admit you have a need, to tell someone. That is no small act of bravery.

One of my favorite sayings is ‘Awareness is the first step to change’.

Remember what Annie said:

I never felt brave. But day after day, I just did the next thing, took the next step, said the next yes.

She also encourages her readers to think back on your life and journal about two or three moments you or someone else might label brave.

You’re more than welcome to tell me. No one sees the comments until I first read them, so if you want to share, but don’t want your comment posted, you can tell me and it won’t be.

Be brave my friend.

What Does Being Brave Even Look Like?

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Starting the morning with my familiar things around me gives me a sense of place, routine, comfort.

How about you?

It’s a challenge to get outside my comfort zone to go someplace or do something new.

New-ness can be exciting like when an order from Amazon arrives. But new-ness that requires something from me, that can be scary. If it’s scary then the challenge comes to be brave in the face of my fears and in spite of the pit in my stomach.

That’s never easy. But I can tell you something true: I’ve never been disappointed when I’ve let go of my fears and leaned in toward Jesus.

What does that even look like?

It might be saying yes to spending the weekend with mostly strangers, far away from home, sharing hard parts of your story to show that the surpassing power of overcoming, and growing, and healing, belongs to God and not to us.

In hopes of learning the Way to let go and lean in, after the wonderfully challenging and filling weekend away, yesterday I started reading a devotional book called 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. The subtitle says Devotions for Unlocking Your Most Courageous Self.

Doesn’t that sound promising?

Annie is sharing from her life and pointing her readers to the One who calls us forward, who gives us the strength and courage to be our authentic self in our circumstances.

Seeing other people be brave makes me want to be brave too. Annie F. Downs

Being authentic, without putting on a false “I’m okay” front, is hard. We fear what people think about us. Will they accept me? Will they reject me? Why does that matter?

It matters because God has created us with a desire for love and belonging. Anything that puts those two desires at risk is scary.

The blank page can be scary for a writer. But if this is the work I am called to do then this is the place I need to be brave. I know God wants me to tell my story so that you can be encouraged to be brave in yours, too.

What is the thing in life that scares you?

Whatever it is that is scary, God has already been there and knows how it’s all going to turn out.

I’m going to keep on this journey, learning to let go of fear and expectation and learning to lean in toward Jesus.

Want to join me on this journey of 100 Days to Brave?

I’d love the companionship!

Will You Join Me in 100 Days to Brave?

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Brave.

A short word for a big concept. I used to think that to be brave meant to never be afraid. I also used to think that bravery was for other people since I had lots of fears.

I’ve learned that neither of those is true.

We are brave when we face a fear and take a step to move through it.

We are brave when we admit that we’re scared and tell a trusted person our truth.

I know a few things about being brave but I also know there is so much more for me to learn.

I’ve decided to challenge myself to continue to work through fear and learn to be brave by reading a devotional book that released last October called

Today is October 1, 2018. If I am disciplined to read and reflect daily I’ll complete this 100 Day journey on Tuesday, January 8, 2019.

Brave people don’t stop hearing the whispers of fear. They hear the whispers but take action anyway. Annie F. Downs 100 Days to Brave devotional

What will it be like to begin the New Year ready to live my most courageous life? What might God do with me if I’m more willing to say Yes when He invites me further up and farther in?

I’d love it if you’d join me on this journey! That would be so fun to have brave companions; maybe we can share thoughts here or elsewhere on social media. You can grab Annie’s book from LifeWay or Amazon or Barnes & Noble and join me in this adventure of 100 Days to Brave.

Let me know if you’re joining me; I want to make this fun!

Where is rest?

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I hope you are actively choosing time to be in God’s Word. I know it’s a challenge. I know it’s hard to find a quiet moment. I know there are so many distractions. I know you’re tired.

New Flash: CHALLENGES WILL NEVER COMPLETELY GO AWAY!

The challenges you face now may be overcome or go away but they will change to others. It’s reality. The perfect circumstance you’re waiting for isn’t a regular part of this world. Perhaps a fleeting moment will be a gift to remind you of the promise of eternity future, but all the current issues simply serve as excuses to not make time for God and His Word to us and for us.

Now that’s out in the open, what are you going to do about it?

Here’s the next passage as we continue to meditate on Matthew 11:28-30

“…and you will find rest for your souls.”

I study from the NASB and my Open Bible has links to other related verses. In this particular passage, Jesus is quoting from the prophet Jeremiah.

Jeremiah 6:16 says:

“This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. 

But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.'”

Jesus is reminding us that rest and peace are offered us as we lean in to Him and walk with Him.

The unfortunate reality is we often choose our own way instead of His.

But God remains faithful to walk with us through the questions, through the pain and into healing, and will continue to do so. These truths are for each one of us.

The question remains: will I choose to make time with God a priority in my days?

What feels like a chore at first will become a life giving ‘have-to-have’ like air and food and water. I promise. Better yet, God promises.

“…and you will find rest for your souls.”

 

Gentle? Humble? Where’s an Example of Those Traits?

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I hope you have been gleaning wonderful nuggets of comfort and encouragement as well as impetus to grow spiritually as we have reflected on these verses this summer. If you’re dropping in today for the first time, we’ve been reading and meditating on Matthew 11:28-30.

Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Jesus

If you’re interested in reading the past reflections, I recommend starting with Word on Wednesday.

This week’s passage for reflection  “…for I am gentle and humble in heart…”

Once again, English does not clearly convey the same meaning the original language of this passage conveys.

Gentle may give connotations of tender or soft.

Humble may give connotations of letting others have their way, or being “less than”.

Neither could be further from the original intent.

Gentle means strength under control; like a powerful stallion under bridle. The horse can literally run away with its rider, easily overpowering the weaker human but instead submits itself to the direction given with the bridle.

Photo by Gül Kurtaran on Unsplash

 

Humble means to be emptied of self.  (which is not only difficult to do but even harder to find an image to convey the word!)

Where some have said Jesus Christ was simply a good teacher and didn’t have strength to stand up to Rome or the Jewish leaders, understanding these words now, perhaps you can see the bigger picture of His gentle and humble nature within the context of the full counsel of God.

Jesus chose humility (Phil 2) He embodied the characteristics of the Messiah the Jews were waiting for (Zechariah 9:9) He modeled what a life with God looks like.

Jesus tells us how following Him in faith is easier than the works of other religious systems. Being a Christ-follower is easier because He does the work, the effort, and the Helper, Holy Spirit, gives us strength to come alongside Jesus in our daily life.

So how does this look for you? Perhaps it begins with a simple prayer of acknowledgement: ” I am not able to get through this day without your strength, wisdom and grace. Help me look to You in my moments today.” OR maybe it’s a “Jesus Help Me” prayer in the middle of little people!

The important part of the prayer is FAITH. Believe He will give you what you NEED. It’s not always what you WANT. But it’s always what you NEED.

Jesus is inviting us to come along with Him moment by moment. The result is what we need.

Keep meditating, reflecting and memorizing!

Is it Possible to Learn to Speak God from Scratch?

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Jonathan Merritt thinks so. In fact he’s written a book to help us consider how possible, and needed, it really is.

Learning to do anything is filled with starts and stops; like a toddler moving from crawling to walking. Yet when we have developed a way of doing something, it’s even more of a challenge to re-learn or to start from scratch. Even that saying is something that has become nearly outmoded; most kitchens are filled with pre-packaged meal ingredients, not the way my two grandmothers fed the family in the middle of the previous century. The way they spoke of God was different then, too. Maybe it’s time to re-think not only too familiar sayings without the proper context; maybe in this era of history we need to take time to re-learn how we speak about God.

Jonathan Merritt’s new book, Learning to Speak God from Scratch, helps me move further on my spiritual journey. The premise of the book is right up front in his well-crafted subtitle: Why Sacred Words are Vanishing—and How We Can Revive Them. One by one, words that have been overused are taken out of their worn context, polished up and seen anew. Story by story, Jonathan unpacks why this change of use, this change of understanding has happened, and suggests how you and I can make intentional choices to become more aware of God-speak and learn to use well the sacred words he shows us.

 

The first third of the book is filled with Jonathan’s setting the stage: helping us capture the sense of urgency, seeing the problems of current use of sacred language, and shedding light on a Way Forward. These six chapters give compelling evidence for the purpose, for the need to learn to speak God from scratch.

Jonathan takes a hard look at words that are familiar to those who speak God regularly, words that are sometimes so familiar we’ve forgotten their weight. He points out that to those who aren’t in regular God conversations, many sacred words have no power, no context and thus little impact in this era. In Jonathan’s words:

But in the midst of our struggles to speak God—struggles that are not unique to our generation—somehow God always finds a way to break through and keep God’s people talking. If God’s people have revived their vocabulary in past eras, surely there is a way to stoke these fires yet again. (Our Divine Linguaphile p. 38)

Reading each chapter led me deeper into recognizing the prevalence in my vernacular of ways I use words without context. This growing awareness was like pre-dawn light; noticing, acknowledging and then suddenly the sun itself appears illuminating the sky. Half-way through the book, Jonathan’s chapter titled Disappointment: Dopamine Roller-Coasters and Palm Branches served as the sunlight exposing a root struggle for me. His words:

Disillusionment is, well, the loss of an illusion. It is what happens when you take a lie–about the world, about yourself, about those you love, about God–and replace it with the truth. Disillusionment occurs when God shatters our fantasies, tears down our idols, dismantles our cardboard cut outs.it is the result of discovering that God does not conform to our expectations but rather exists as a mystery beyond those expectations. (Disappointment: Dopamine Roller-Coasters and Palm Branches. P 109)

Learning to Speak God from Scratch was a gift of learning for me this year. It’s an informative, well-researched book written in an accessible, journalistic style; you can hear Jonathan sharing not only what he learned, but he also shares his heart.

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts as you read this engaging book.

What Does it Mean to Learn from Jesus?

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If you’ve visited before, you’re used to me musing on passages of Scripture and trying to see how these sacred words apply to life today. I’ve been unpacking Matthew 11:28-30 going phrase by phrase.

This week’s phrase is the crux of discipleship.

“…learn from Me…”

What does it mean to learn from Jesus?  How does one do that exactly?

It’s simple and hard at the same time.  Remember the yoke? Getting in step with Jesus, leaning in and going along the Way that He has started for you, staying in step, getting back in step when you stumble (not IF…WHEN…)

It's guaranteed that we will get out of step with Jesus. He is mindful of our frame. Jesus doesn't want to leave you behind, or walk away from you. He has promised never to leave you or forget you, so when you get out of step He patiently… Click To Tweet

This act of learning from Jesus is a life long process and an integral part of our journey here. Don’t expect to do it perfectly. But do expect Him love and encourage you along the Way.

Out of curiosity I googled that very phrase: learn from Jesus.  As I expected, the results were fascinating and diverse.

I’m including three links for you to explore as you consider how to learn from Jesus.

10 Bible Verses About Learning From Jesus

5 Life Lessons I Learned from Jesus 

These first two are written from Christ followers. This next doesn’t name Jesus as part of the Godhead but references scripture so Truth is being told.

21 Life Lessons Even Non-Christians Can Learn From Jesus

Clearly there is a lot we can learn from Jesus.  He offers Himself to us moment by moment by the empowering Presence of God in the person of the Holy Spirit.  He does the work.

Our one job is to stay close.

 

What Does Showing Up Look Like?

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I don’t know you noticed, but summer is slipping away. It’s August. I used to be a classroom teacher and this is the month it all starts up again. Just look at the Dollar bins at Target. School supplies are everywhere. I want to squeeze more fun out of summer before the seasons change again.

Ever feel that desperate feeling? That frantic ‘I’ve got to make the most of this time’ kind of feeling?

I tried an experiment this summer.

I challenged myself every day in July to

 

I asked myself the question: What does Showing Up look like?

I realized a few things. To show up during the lazy days of summer is different than what it looks like to show up during the work week (or school year as it were).

Less routine is beautiful…for awhile.

Parents start longing for school to start, kids get tired of seeing the same few faces every day. Teachers never have enough time at the end of the summer to prep for all their new ideas.

Routine helps everyone. There is comfort in predictable but not suffocating schedules. How do routines and schedules affect the idea of what it means to show up?

Glad you asked.

In my July experiment to Show Up I had great plans for what I would put in my days. I planned to write and be creative everyday. I planned to read three books, plus make time to garden and attend to all my responsibilities. I’ve been blessed with lots of discretionary time; flexible work schedule and opportunities for creativity or reading or beach/pool time, whatever. Wow! What a gift!

I started well, doing all the things a little every day. Then, a change in pattern happened, and it threw me off balance.  I didn’t make the shift back to a daily checklist. I had created a stressful scenario that wasn’t what fit with my reality. I told myself I had failed. Where did that come from?

It was the story I told myself. I hadn’t stopped showing up; I was showing up differently. I recognized my temptation to have a mean-spirited internal dialogue running. I made some choices. Instead of hating on myself I decided to pay attention to what I was choosing to do.

Instead I began to notice my actions.

I sat quietly to listen to the birds longer in the morning. I lingered over coffee with my husband before he left for work. I slowed my rhythm to a pace that matched my soul.

What if showing up for yourself means paying attention to how your soul wants to move and breathe?

What if learning to live in the unforced rhythms of grace means leaving room for a last minute invitation? Or adjusting plans to be able to help a friend? Or simply sitting still to notice the activity of Creation?

What I’m learning about what it means to show up in my life is a lot less driven and a lot more grace-filled.

How about you?

 

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