Learning Along The Way

Why It’s Been Scary Being Silent

By

It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve posted here. It’s been a little scary being silent here. I run the risk of offending or you losing interest in my offerings. Although I’ve been writing for school, I’ve also been dabbling with old word patterns, ways of expression I set aside when evaluators lost appreciation for my words.

Here is a sample:

There’s been a quiet settling in my soul

like the hush of snowfall

I’m not certain what is coming

but I know what I’m letting go

productivity equaling my value

driven action to meet others’ expectations

busy-ness to fill the solitude 

 

 

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

 

Holy Days filled with room

Room for baking with dimpled hands and eager ideas

Room for listening, reading, laughing

Room for building

train tracks, towers and relationships

Making room for Holy hush

My hope for you in the next 15 days is a heart full of awareness of those around you and the bravery to make room. Perhaps to face the loss of those who are no longer around your table or the hurt of fractured relationship. We are still on the 100 Days to Brave journey. Whatever it may be, I pray you will face the days with courage.

Are You Too Busy to Count?

By

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave and sharing some of my reflections here, but I’m curious for those who have been reading along too:

Are you too busy leaning in to being brave to count where we are?

Just this week we’ve achieved 31 days; I know this because we started October 1 and Wednesday is October 31, Halloween. We’re a third of the way to unlocking our most courageous selves!

Just two quick questions for you to reflect upon;

What area(s) of your life have you seen that you’re already brave?

 

What is keeping you from taking a brave step in an area that you know you need to lean into?

 

 If you want to let me know I’d love to hear your answers!

If this is your first time dropping by, welcome!

I’d love to have you join in the community to receive encouragement and have some laughs (sometimes) but most of all to consider how your story and my story connect to God’s story!

Do You Have a Dream that Died?

By

I didn’t write last week. I had the chance to be present with these sweet faces.

I hope you weren’t too disappointed you didn’t hear from me on Monday.

I’ve still been reading Annie F. Downs devotional 100 Days to Brave. It’s been good and it’s been challenging.

But honestly, I got derailed on Day 28 when Annie titled the entry “Mourn Dreams that Have Died”.

I got derailed and it’s been hard to get back on track. She asked “What dead dream do you need to mourn?”

I’ve had dreams die. And when they did, I thought I was supposed to just acknowledge the loss as an ‘Oh Well that didn’t turn out as I hoped’ kind of way, trusting it wasn’t God’s plan for me. I read Annie’s words as if I had written them in my journal and she copied them into her devotional. 

To recognize it is ok to mourn the death of a dream, like the death of someone dear, was revolutionary. I have told myself hard things like “Don’t be a baby! Things don’t always work the way you want them to. Grow up!”

And while those are true statements, Annie was inviting me into a space of mourning, a space of acknowledging my loss and disappointment before I moved on. And she tells me that is a brave thing to do.

This derailed my train of thoughts generally moving on toward the future. I spent some ‘think time’ combined with some ‘feel time’ admitting I had suffered a loss; was hurt and disappointed by the death of a dream.

My dream of having a forever home for our family died when we moved away for my husband’s work. We lived in a beautiful house for 15 years: the place where our kids grew up and would eventually bring friends home from college; someday that special someone; then grandkids and family holidays with lots of traditions in a Hallmark cards kind of way. That dream died and I didn’t do well in mourning the loss.

I’m not sure why it’s hard to admit; maybe because I tell myself I’m not supposed to be disappointed with God’s plan. That kind of story doesn’t line up with people whose stories are in scripture. Abraham and Sarah were disappointed with God’s timing; Jonah was disappointed with God’s call to go to Nineveh, Job was disappointed with the circumstances of his life (death of his children, loss of his wealth should have been enough, but boils, too?) Even Jesus begged God for a different way out of the Garden. 

It’s okay to be disappointed. It’s not okay to make your own way out or succumb to bitterness when your way didn’t work. I’ve struggled these past five years because I haven’t honestly mourned the death of that dream of a forever home.

And Jesus? Well He asked for another way if possible, but if not, He wanted God’s way most of all. He struggled in extreme agony over what He knew lay ahead, yet He chose to trust God’s plan.

It can be the same for us. We can be disappointed and can mourn the loss of our dreams. Mourning gives space to be honest with ourselves and most of all with God.

I loved what Annie said at the end of her entry

“But when you look them (the dreams) in the face, head-on, and let them go, you will see how God’s plan for your life, although different from what you expected, is a beautiful story of its own that you never could have dreamed up for yourself.”

Have you had a dream that died? Have you made time to mourn it’s death?

Who Does God Say You Are?

By

In 100 Days to Brave Annie F. Downs shared a story of a friend who was newly employed at a bank. Her first day was filled with the task of counting money.

Why? To learn to know the real thing. Once you handle the real thing you can tell counterfeit from real.

We need to know what is True about us in order to live a brave life.

How do we know what is True?

We have a guide book with lots of loving encouragement and promises. Truth to know and live out.

I received this beautiful card last year at a retreat I attended in the redwoods of California. Being in that place is a big enough reminder of God’s goodness yet this takeaway has reminded me of God’s love and care on many occasions in the year since.

This list is from ONE place in scripture: Ephesians 1.

Annie mentioned several more places to be reminded. If you are curious, start mining the Word to find the nuggets you need for your own reminding of God’s love for you, of His faithfulness to you, of His provision of courage you need to live a brave life.

Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…

Can I Live a Brave Way and Complete Something?

By

I have struggled with finishing what I start. ALL.MY.LIFE.

Significant adult voices called me lazy. A quitter. Undisciplined. Not a lot of encouragement there.

Perseverance has been a personal struggle; one I push toward in many areas daily. Finishing books can be a struggle. Creative projects. Housework. Conversations.

And blog series.

I began this summer a sharing a series of reflections on Matthew 11:28-30. A series that I have written and loved…but didn’t finishing sharing with you! So in effort to live in a brave way, I’m going to finish. Here goes:

Picking up in my reflections on Matthew 11:28-30

The last passage of our study is

My burden is light

I spent some counting time as I looked for ways other versions translated this passage. Did you know that Bible Gateway lists 53 versions of scripture that are translated in English? O those 53 only 13 translated this phrase differently. For fun I’m including them below:

AMPC My burden is light and easy to be borne.

ERV The load I give you to carry is light.

EXB the load I give you to carry is light.

GNT the load I will put on you is light.

ICB The load I give you to carry is not heavy.

MSG Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

NCV the load I give you to carry is light.

NET my load is not hard to carry.

NIRV my load is light.

NLV My load is not heavy.

NLT the burden I give you is light.

WE What I give you to carry is not heavy.

WYC my charge is light

Matthew said it straight. Jesus’s Way of relationship faith instead of religious rules is a light load.

Why do we make it so hard? How has being a Christian become such a negative thing? Lots of reasons I’m sure but in the context of this verse my answer is we’ve added on things that Jesus never said were needed.

Maybe you’ve heard me say Paul was the first commentator of scripture; he unpacked what Jesus said within the context of the Hebrew scriptures and what Christ’s finished work means. Paul kept telling all the churches to live under the grace and freedom from the Law. In our passage of study, Jesus is contrasting the burden of the Law to the burden of grace. He was preparing His followers to walk alongside Him, to be in step with Him and not to work out their salvation through the rules of the Law. That work was finished on the Cross. Now we have right standing before God because of Jesus’s perfect, holy sacrifice.

My burden is light.

He carries the weight. IF we keep in step with Him we won’t feel the burden much at all. If we get out of step then we bump into the yoke and we feel and see our circumstances as if we are alone and overwhelmed.

Just like He said to Peter, Jesus says to us

Come.

We can walk above our circumstances, in step with the Holy Spirit of God and amazing things will transpire. Our attitude shifts. Our worries and fears fade. Our wounds and hurts get cared for by the only One who can truly heal us.

My burden is light.

Our job is to get in the yoke and keep in step. He gives us what we need in order to do that. He carries the weight.

Because of LOVE.

We can learn to live in a brave Way because we’re LOVED. Not shamed in our ways. Loved, forgiven and encouraged to let go and lean in. Hanging out close to Jesus is worth the effort of change.

Live Brave friends.

Are You Hanging onto Fear?

By

Two days this week I came to the computer with ideas about being brave and found I had nothing to say. I was stuck. I told myself its ok come back later, but of course, later never came. I didn’t guard time to write, so time wasn’t there.

I wrestled with why I challenged myself to work through this devotional 100 Days to Brave? I questioned my sanity, my purpose, my raison d’ etre (five years of studying French peeks out on occasion)

I came to an existential crisis point. Why do I want to tell you to let go of what’s holding you back and lean into the unique creation you are? Why do I want to encourage you to be brave, to learn what that looks like in your life, to take a first step?

I want to help women connect with the passions God has placed in them for their good, for other’s good, and most of all, for God’s glory. Click To Tweet

I have been hanging onto fear. Fear that no one will care about this message. Fear that these words go no where, that writing and speaking this message is a waste of time and money. Fear that I’m not listening to God’s Word accurately and I’m doing this for my own selfish gain. Fear of resistance, of ridicule, of rejection.

Getting honest about fear is a bit scary; as I continue to learn about myself through the lens of the Enneagram, it makes more sense why I get scared. At my core, I don’t want to feel pain. I want to have fun. I avoid conflict because conflict is painful and looking at the underside of my emotions is hard work.

But God.

My two favorite words in Scripture. Best search I ever worked through; try it.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I came to my time with Him this morning without an agenda. I simply wanted to sit in His Presence and have coffee with Jesus. After I read the portions of Scripture in my Bible reading plan, I read today’s entry for Jesus Calling. 

Take time to be still in My Presence. The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always proffer to you.

I got comfortable in my chair, held my warm cup of coffee and sat quietly looking outside through the sliding glass door into our garden space. I watched the changing morning light illumine the persimmon tree in our neighbor’s yard, the orange-red fruit standing out against the green leaves. I noticed a finch search the feeder for just the right seed. What caught my attention was a hummingbird lighting on the bubbling water feature. It dipped its beak into the water hovering slightly above the water spilling over the slick turquoise orb, then all of a sudden, the hummingbird sat in the center of the bubbler and began to take a bath.

The freedom, the enthusiasm, the fearlessness all spoke to me in the hummingbird’s hesitation, then the jumping in. As I watched, these lyrics crept up to my consciousness

So let go my soul and trust in Him

And just like the shifting morning light, the awareness of my fears paled in the Light of this phrase.

So let go my soul and trust in Him

I was being invited forward. Come, Further up and Further in.

The invitation is for you too, my friend.

I see your face in my mind; your eyes rimmed with tears you’re blinking back; your brave smile trembling.

He is for you, just like He’s for me. God wants His daughters to walk in freedom; to be able to live as He has designed each of us; moment by moment learning from Him the unforced rhythms of grace.

The invitation to Come to Me isn’t a one time invitation. Jesus invites us again and again and again. You might take your eyes off of Him for a myriad of reasons; Come to Me remains the same, simple invitation. 

Learn from Me, watch how I do it. 

I’ve been hanging on to fear. I’ve been clinging to things that have weighed me down, hindering me from the life purpose God has given me. 

Right now, I’m choosing to be brave, to share my inner struggles to help you see you’re not alone in yours. The beauty is the precious invitation to Come is whispering at the edge of your conscious thought; listen and respond.

Let go and lean in.

You won’t regret it.

Perhaps you’re wondering how to get started? Or how to get back?  

Call a friend. Message me. Comment below (I read them before they get published so if you don’t want your comment published, tell me.) 

Bravely take the first step.

I leave you with this beautiful offering. Enjoy.

It is Well 

What Inspires Courage in You?

By

Happy First Friday in October!

I love autumn or fall, whichever you prefer to call it. The colors change, even in California. Certainly not as gloriously as other parts of the world but the crisping of the air, the change of the season inspires me.

I’m not sure why, but this time of year seems to carry me forward into doing new things instead of slowing down like the plants are doing as the temperature cools.

This fall, the new thing I am doing is recognizing the little ways I choose to be brave. I want to pay attention to the feelings of uncertainty, of fear, and instead of allowing those feelings to shape my thoughts and actions, I am choosing to take a brave step to deal with the issue at hand.

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave, by Annie F. Downs, her devotional published last October. Daily she talks about what brave is and invites the reader along on the journey to unlock your most courageous self. 

Today she spoke of courage. I love that word.  I am a word-nerd. True story: when I was a freshman in college, in my first semester, in the fall of 1975, I would go to the Library and read the Oxford English Dictionary of Word Origins. Maybe it felt safe to hang out where people were, even if I didn’t know them; a 17 year old kid who knew no one created a sense of belonging in the library. That is a story for another time.

I hung out in the library reading the OED of Word Origins not once or twice, but weekly for a couple of months. Not because I had a course requirement; I fell in love with knowing where words come from and a bit about how they came into being.

Courage is one of those words. Why did it stir in me a desire to stand up straight, square my shoulders and take a stand? There is a reason. It’s an awesome word!

The origin of courage is latin, the root is cor and it means heart. 

When you take courage, you are receiving strength of heart, of purpose, of meaning. 

 

Courage is similar to brave not only in meaning but also because we don’t think of ourselves as having courage or being brave in little ways. But somedays it takes courage to simply do the next thing. 

We need to be reminded. We need to be willing to ask God for courage and then to take a small step of courage to be strengthened to do the next thing. 

One step leads to the next. After a few courageous steps you may realize you’re stronger than you know. 

What’s most important is that we take that brave first step.

What Comes to Mind When You Hear the Word Brave?

By

What comes to mind when you hear the word Brave?

I’m working my way through 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. In today’s entry she encourages readers to journal about two or three incidents in your life that might be labeled brave.

I recently watched the Disney movie Brave with my 3 year old granddaughter, who also has curly red hair like the main character Merida.

We watched Merida be brave in several ways. She wanted to learn activities traditionally belonging to men like archery. She rode a horse. She fought for her family. None of these brave acts were the same. She was brave in big and little ways.

What about you? Does your definition of brave leave room for little acts of bravery or only big ones?

Sometimes being brave means admitting I have needs. Asking for help was deemed a sign of weakness, a ‘less than’ statement growing up. One of my early memories of having a need was coming into the house after I had fallen down skinning my knees to the point of bleeding (again) and having my mom tell me that the Bactine and bandaids were in the bathroom. I was seven. Now mind you I was a rough and tumble kid. She was probably tired of my superficial wounds. But her response stuck with me.

Childhood memories can become story starters for the way we look at things as an adult. Being brave is admitting the story we're telling ourselves may not be accurate. Click To Tweet

The story I told myself about my depression was not an encouraging one. My inner critic was a nonstop voice of self-recrimination looping through my thoughts. “What’s wrong with you?” was on an infinite loop in my head. I had a hard time focusing. A hard time finding joy. A hard time admitting I needed help.

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave. Today Annie wrote of her move from Georgia to Nashville, TN. She shared how hard the move was. A line from the page really resonated with me

I never felt brave. But day after day, I just did the next thing, took the next step, said the next yes.

I used to think that moving was a great adventure, that it was an opportunity to learn new things, meet new friends and have more fun. That was until we moved from our home of 15 years, emptying our nest and relocating all in a couple of months. I had no idea how hard it would be to make a new start in a new area. Nothing was familiar. Finding a grocery store became a chore; finding my way around became more than I wanted to face most days, so I slipped, ever so slowly, down the slope into depression.

It took several months before I admitted I needed help. Thankful for the internet I found a Christian counselor who has helped me work through my depression and other areas of emotional need that I had hidden away.

Maybe that’s you, suffering in silence. Maybe your brave act is to admit you have a need, to tell someone. That is no small act of bravery.

One of my favorite sayings is ‘Awareness is the first step to change’.

Remember what Annie said:

I never felt brave. But day after day, I just did the next thing, took the next step, said the next yes.

She also encourages her readers to think back on your life and journal about two or three moments you or someone else might label brave.

You’re more than welcome to tell me. No one sees the comments until I first read them, so if you want to share, but don’t want your comment posted, you can tell me and it won’t be.

Be brave my friend.

What Does Being Brave Even Look Like?

By

 

Starting the morning with my familiar things around me gives me a sense of place, routine, comfort.

How about you?

It’s a challenge to get outside my comfort zone to go someplace or do something new.

New-ness can be exciting like when an order from Amazon arrives. But new-ness that requires something from me, that can be scary. If it’s scary then the challenge comes to be brave in the face of my fears and in spite of the pit in my stomach.

That’s never easy. But I can tell you something true: I’ve never been disappointed when I’ve let go of my fears and leaned in toward Jesus.

What does that even look like?

It might be saying yes to spending the weekend with mostly strangers, far away from home, sharing hard parts of your story to show that the surpassing power of overcoming, and growing, and healing, belongs to God and not to us.

In hopes of learning the Way to let go and lean in, after the wonderfully challenging and filling weekend away, yesterday I started reading a devotional book called 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. The subtitle says Devotions for Unlocking Your Most Courageous Self.

Doesn’t that sound promising?

Annie is sharing from her life and pointing her readers to the One who calls us forward, who gives us the strength and courage to be our authentic self in our circumstances.

Seeing other people be brave makes me want to be brave too. Annie F. Downs

Being authentic, without putting on a false “I’m okay” front, is hard. We fear what people think about us. Will they accept me? Will they reject me? Why does that matter?

It matters because God has created us with a desire for love and belonging. Anything that puts those two desires at risk is scary.

The blank page can be scary for a writer. But if this is the work I am called to do then this is the place I need to be brave. I know God wants me to tell my story so that you can be encouraged to be brave in yours, too.

What is the thing in life that scares you?

Whatever it is that is scary, God has already been there and knows how it’s all going to turn out.

I’m going to keep on this journey, learning to let go of fear and expectation and learning to lean in toward Jesus.

Want to join me on this journey of 100 Days to Brave?

I’d love the companionship!

Will You Join Me in 100 Days to Brave?

By

Brave.

A short word for a big concept. I used to think that to be brave meant to never be afraid. I also used to think that bravery was for other people since I had lots of fears.

I’ve learned that neither of those is true.

We are brave when we face a fear and take a step to move through it.

We are brave when we admit that we’re scared and tell a trusted person our truth.

I know a few things about being brave but I also know there is so much more for me to learn.

I’ve decided to challenge myself to continue to work through fear and learn to be brave by reading a devotional book that released last October called

Today is October 1, 2018. If I am disciplined to read and reflect daily I’ll complete this 100 Day journey on Tuesday, January 8, 2019.

Brave people don’t stop hearing the whispers of fear. They hear the whispers but take action anyway. Annie F. Downs 100 Days to Brave devotional

What will it be like to begin the New Year ready to live my most courageous life? What might God do with me if I’m more willing to say Yes when He invites me further up and farther in?

I’d love it if you’d join me on this journey! That would be so fun to have brave companions; maybe we can share thoughts here or elsewhere on social media. You can grab Annie’s book from LifeWay or Amazon or Barnes & Noble and join me in this adventure of 100 Days to Brave.

Let me know if you’re joining me; I want to make this fun!

Follow Me…

Categories