Parenting

A Handful of Hope for (forced) Homeschooling Parents

March 18, 2020 By Lisa Lewis

It’s time for a reset of focus for this blog. I’ve been quiet here for a long time in part because I’ve been discerning why I have not been writing about learning. The lightbulb went on for me yesterday; realizing I have knowledge and resources that parents who find themselves homeschooling their children for the first time, and not by choice, might want and need.

The reset now is to focus on learning. All learning, not just spiritual learning. Life in the time of COVID-19 causes many to be together at home with short notice. That has caused stress for many families; how are we going to get through this? We can be grateful for the internet for access to resources. There are so many great sites to find activities to “keep your kids busy”.

I am offering a different angle: learning together with your children.

Here’s the thing: many of you are products of the public school system. I am too. I am also a veteran public school teacher so I know what I’m talking about here. Teachers are amazing at what they do! Limited supplies to share with 20-35 students in elementary classrooms; mandatory curriculum to align with standardized tests that don’t pay attention to the real learning needs of the real students they see in their classrooms; additional required responsibilities beyond teaching and preparing to teach without additional pay; these issues and more exist across this country. And now they are adapting all their lessons to be delivered remotely and overseen by parents who are not used to spending this much time with their own children. YIKES!!!

How can we make the most of these circumstances? Here’s a handful of hope, 5 tips to try:

Plan something to look forward to when the required schoolwork is completed. By completed I mean to your child’s teacher’s standards, not just finished.
Give a 5 minute break for every 25 minutes of focused work. This is called the pomodoro method. It keeps everyone motivated to get tasks done in a timely, non-dawdling manner. For the youngest of the school age children, I suggest adapting it to 20 minutes with a 10 minute break; this aligns with their developmental readiness to focus.
Use at least one of the breaks to do something silly like trying to get a spoon to stick to the end of your nose, or learning how to blow bubbles with bubble gum or something fun or silly you remember from your own childhood and want to pass on to your littles.
Get outside as often as possible. Look outside if the weather doesn’t permit going outside. There is brain science behind this need.
Plan your days into Five Ds: discipleship studies; discipline studies; discretionary studies; down time; and dinner time. I adapted the work of Sally Clarkson author of Educating the Wholehearted Child which was a seminal construct for me when I found myself homeschooling our then eight year old way back in 1997. Ancient history I know. Somethings don’t change; they are adapted.

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These are unprecedented times; I realize you have grown to expect certain types of posts here and I value and appreciate your support. I want to assure you I will be writing about faith as well as other things as I continue learning along the Way. Consider riding this out with me.

It’s Simply Tuesday

July 3, 2018 By Lisa Lewis

Three years ago I had the privilege of being on the launch team for this amazing book

Three years later the principles in Emily’s writing are still sifting through to the bedrock of my soul.

It’s Simply Tuesday.

A regular ordinary day that includes morning habits, errands, laundry, paying bills; you know, normal and ordinary.

But these days are precious to me now. Small moment living has become the norm since we are empty-nesters. What I once grieved and rejected, I now see as a beautiful gift, perfectly timed.

I am a slow learner.

When I was 37 I gave birth to our second son. A year and a half prior, we lost a baby at 14 weeks. The world calls that a miscarriage. I called it God’s wake up call.

You see, I had plans for how life would work. I was in charge of my destiny: a second marriage underway, a new home, my dream vehicle in the driveway; now it was time to add to our family. Pregnant in April, plan to take it easy through the summer, baby due at the end of December (tax break!) All moving along as I intended. Until July, 1993.

It was the loss of that baby that took my attention off my self-focus and back on God. Don’t think for a minute God punished me for my selfishness, because that doesn’t line up with His character or His Word. ( For example, Psalm 136:1; Romans 8:1) But I do know that He lovingly shepherds His children and corrects them along the Way (Heb. 12:7) This loss got my attention.

How does this tie in with Tuesdays you ask? He has gently led me along since then, showing me the benefit of quiet, solitude, and contemplation; even when I didn’t appreciate it.

I learned the value of simple moments; of folding laundry as a moment to pray for the feet that fit the socks I matched; of dishes dirtied with sandwich crumbs held by six year-old hands; of a vinyl floor needing to be mopped, yet again, and reminded to be grateful for home.

Children grow, nap times wane and running ragged matched our schedule of lessons, sports, Scouts, Church. Small moments flew without notice; I turned around and the house was full of good wishes for the high school graduate I had given birth to in 1995. Where did the time go?

The temptation to regret, to long for once was, to mourn were all things I chose to walk through. I don’t know how life might have looked over these past five years if I had daily celebrated the beginning of the season of empty-nest; but I do know that in the small moments of my sorrow, God met me with tenderness and compassion that I wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars. Nope. Not a one.

Here’s the point friend: Your small moments are precious; to your soul and to God. He cares about the details. Look for Him in them. Your soul moves at a pace that is nearly imperceptible by our nano-second attention spans. Relax. Celebrate the small. Whether you… Click To Tweet

As we consider together what it means to show up in life, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of being kind to yourself as you practice; whether you’re focusing on work, life or faith, be gracious as you try to connect the dots and make sense of it all.

We all need an encouraging word; please share what gems you’ve discovered along the Way!

Be the Change You Want to See

July 6, 2016 By Lisa Lewis

Not too long ago there were two boys living in our house.

In a blink of an eye they’re both men living lives of purpose making a difference in their part of the world.

Time feels relative right?

Our parenting style grew as they did: from teaching & correction, to guidance, to launch & let go. My own upbringing was rough; I purposed to do this parenting thing with intention, hoping for better results. Many voices influenced our thinking but this one stands out:

Mahatma Ghandi: a man of peace. He advocated political and societal change. Ghandi didn’t have the same faith practice I do, but no matter. He believed humanity could change and live respectfully in peace.

That may sound grandiose or fall flat to your ears. I get it. Perhaps your life is hard in this season and you can barely rub two coins together. Or maybe you’re fighting a physical battle that takes all your focus and energy to stay upright. Changing the world is not on your radar now or maybe ever.

Is being responsible for changing the world really what Ghandi meant? Did he want all people to become social activists? What if his thought was for personal, internal change? For you and me to simply be people of integrity, who show kindness to everyone, who care for those less able to care for themselves? Perhaps his words are a call to simple living right where we are, regardless of our means or motivation to change the world?

Each of our sons went through a season of living outside their integrity. We watched and prayed but did not pry. We didn’t lecture or wag our fingers. We knew they would come back to themselves…eventually. Watching and waiting aren’t easy skills in parenting; they’re skills that belong to the Father. We trusted our sons to the Father’s heart for them. In the waiting we grew to love and trust God more. We also grew to love and pray for our sons in deeper ways as well.

We trusted these young men to come back to center in their own time because we trusted God and knew they developed appreciation for Ghandi’s words, thanks to the influence of their great AP English teacher, Eldra Avery. Living outside their integrity wouldn’t allow them to be the change they wanted to see in the world.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Mahatma Ghandi Click To Tweet

Change begins with one. For me, change was my parenting. We made conscious decisions that steered our family in a different direction than the one I was raised in. Others might not catch what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter. That you live out the change you want to bring to your part of the world is the important point.

I call this let go and lean in. Let go of the broken ways and lean in to the Arms waiting to hold and help you grow and change. In that leaning you just might learn more about your part here.

What change will you be?

Love of Books: Another Common Thread

May 21, 2016 By Lisa Lewis

I had the privilege of being a Story Hour reader at a local coffee shop on Thursday. It wasn’t a last minute thing; I knew about it 5 weeks in advance. I was so excited to get to share stories and songs with little people again!

I took myself to the library in our new community, applied for a library card and proceeded to spend over an hour browsing their extensive collection of picture books. So many beloved stories caught my attention; books I had read to hundreds of children through my teaching career took back to the joy of reading aloud. Titles of Caldecott medalists I collected for my own sons also brought great joy in the memories of snuggles for stories. But I had a theme in mind as a way to choose the books, just in case there were many preschoolers as well as toddlers.

You might think toddlers? Story hour? Not a good mix! But let me say, Try It!

This is our 11 month old grand-daughter enjoying (and copying) the book Ten Tiny Toes.

Learning to love books starts early. Reading aloud to your littles builds their vocabulary even when they’re not yet saying words. Language is learned first by hearing. It’s amazing how little ones respond to inflection in your voice, the sing song rhythm of rhyming words, the noises that animals make. Children love to participate!

I am privileged to have the Mother Goose book that was read to me as a toddler; read so frequently that I memorized the pages and rhymes by the time I was 3. My mother loved to tell people that I was reading at 3. Some reading specialists would say impossible. I’ll tell you, we don’t know exactly when a child learns to read. It’s very mysterious. I taught children to “read” for the first 6 years of my career, have tutored children in older grades and worked with adult literacy. Reading skills can be learned at any age. The love of books is different. The love of books begins at home.

I imagine your local library has a terrific selection of picture books and probably even a story hour! Gather some of your mom friends and make a date to give it a try. Pack snacks or a picnic for afterward and go to a park for playtime and conversation with other moms. We need each other. You’ll be tired but you’ll probably be encouraged to keep on sharing stories with your children.

So much benefit from the common thread of learning to love books!

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Embracing Rest

October 18, 2015 By Lisa Lewis

I like slow mornings. I have learned that though after years of setting my alarm to get up in the dark before my family so that I could

Be still and know…

Now that I don’t have to get up early to get ahead of the morning rush, I can sit in stillness & quiet and be filled.

The need for filling is the same though. My soul needs to know and experience the Presence of God as much now as then. The filling has different uses in this season.

As a mom of littles I was desperate for a sense of peace in the middle of tears, diapering, sibling squabbles, meals that were objected to, misplaced special friends at bedtime. I was exhausted from all the giving of myself. What I thought I needed was more sleep, which of course was interrupted almost nightly by someone.

I shared my frustrations and exhaustion with a group of moms at the park one day. One seasoned mom who had been invited by another quietly asked if she might share an idea that might help. Since I was desperate I quickly said yes please.

She said “Imagine you are a cup and each one of your family is a straw in your cup. Picture adding a straw for every responsibility outside your family: work outside your home, volunteering in the community, at church, extended family, etc. Not all the straws need to draw from your cup daily but some do. And when all the straws need to draw from you at once what will happen?” It was easy to imagine the cup being drained dry. I felt it. A lot.

You have to be filled up before you can be helpful to others.

But how?

The answer looks differently for each of us and will look different in various, changing seasons. The first and foremost way though is to start with agreeing that you have a need for rest.

Embracing Rest instead of believing you can be all things to all people in your own strength is the key to finding the best ways of filling your soul.

For many years the most I could do was a variety of little things throughout the days. I love to listen to music of all kinds but it took a comment from my mother to point out that I wasn’t sharing my love for music with my littles. She asked “Why don’t you have music on all day anymore? Your kids would probably love it!” Her question gave me an idea. I started playing music that was upbeat when we needed to get ready to head out for the day and when we did our chores. When it was a quieter time of day I played music of classical composers that I enjoy. Little by little the music had a comforting affect on all of us.

When my littles were transitioning out of naps I still needed a break so we instituted rest time which everyone needs. I put a digital clock in the bedroom and on a 3 x 5 card wrote the numbers of the time that rest would be over. When the numbers matched, they could get up. Calling it nap time to a 3 year old was disastrous. Calling it rest time and giving him the power to know when it was over was money. And ironically he usually fell asleep amid the books on his bed! And of course I got the much needed quiet as well!

I had to learn how to get my cup filled up at the beginning of the day too. For years I had set an alarm to get up early enough to avoid rushing around in the morning to get out the door for work. I hate having to rush. But I had stopped doing that when I began the role of stay at home mom thinking I had all the time in the world and could make my own schedule. Ha! It took me too long to recognize needing more sleep wasn’t the only way to rest.

When I began to set my alarm to get up before my family it was a huge shock to my system. So I adjusted slowly by getting up just a few minutes before their waking pattern so I could get a cup of coffee and read a short devotional.

These are the three that have filled me up over the years. Such great inspiration and Word focused encouragement for the day is found in each of these. I didn’t read all three of them each day… I’ve just lived a lot of years!

Those few moments each morning were just enough to remember that I wasn’t on my own in this job of being Momma. Learning to go to the Source of wisdom & strength daily was filling enough. God multiplied my feeble coming on those sleepy mornings. He changed my priorities from selfish to self care. If He did that for me I am confident He will do that for you…if you ask.

And I am a different woman; embracing rest He offers moment by moment has been key to living in tandem with Him.

Family Fun Fridays: Camping Re-visited

September 19, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

It’s Friday. Maybe you’re exhausted from this first month of school. Maybe you’re excited about what you might do with your family as the fall is easing into view in the weather and on the calendar. Either way, I want to encourage you to think about getting outside with your littles and enjoying God’s beautiful gifts of Creation.

Whether you take them to the park, the beach, or the school playground, getting outdoors is an important part of childhood. Having adventures together as a family is fun and memorable.

We’re a camping family. Ever since the boys were babies we’ve camped. They loved to go up the coast into the redwoods. They loved to camp near the beach to go boogie boarding. They loved campfires (building and lighting, they’re boys after all) and especially loved the eventual s’mores.

We got the wild idea in the spring of 2001 that we should take the boys out of school (WHAT!!??) and camp around the country; giving them a taste of the grandeur and immensity of this nation. We planned for months! We taped a map on the wall and let the boys put map pins on the places they wanted to see. The Hubster and I added our own pins, too. We researched destinations and estimated costs; plotting a course that would circumnavigate the lower 48 states.

And we did it in this

This trip was pre-smart phone and google maps. We had a gps and a phone that would connect to the internet via dial up modem (ancient tech history) which worked 1 out of 10 times!

We camped on average 5 out of 7 days; stopping to visit family and friends around the country. We listened to music, sang songs, hiked beautiful trails, saw amazing vistas, met wonderful people and most of all, made memories. Seeing historic places first hand, rather than in books, made a huge difference in appreciation of what the Minutemen had to go through or why the battle at Gettysburg cost the lives of so many. Both of our sons grew up loving history; due in part to this trip of living history.

Like labor & delivery, there were hard parts but the good outweighed the bad. We got one speeding ticket (seriously? in a fully loaded VW?); had a few emotional meltdowns (mom hates wind, bridges and semi-trucks); but were blessed with no mechanical issues and almost a completely healthy trip (dad got an ear infection).

It wasn’t always neat and tidy

but the four of us managed to live in here and get along for the months of September and October of 2001. Our sons were 13 and 6. Yes, that is a 7 year gap. In school they wouldn’t have see one another; too many years between them. But on the road trip they learned together, had fun together, argued about space together, and learned to resolve conflict without being sent to their rooms. We read the Bible together, talked about God’s creativity as we witnessed so many different rock formations, rivers, trees, and people. He covered our trip with favor in the midst of one of our country’s greatest tragedies: the bombings of Sept. 11. We were drawn closer together as a family through the aftermath; we had just visited Mount Rushmore the night before and were headed east. We saw people of our country come together to pray in places you wouldn’t have imagined like the parking lot of the Mall of America in Minneapolis for a candlelight vigil. We went to church in places around the country and worshiped with strangers but didn’t feel strange. Our trip was unique for many reasons but the timing in history makes it standout to this day.

This scrapbook journal box says it all

You may not be ready to hit the road yet. Camping isn’t easy for everyone I know. I may not have convinced anyone to pack up right now, but I hope you’ll consider camping as an option for fun things to do with your family. Get together with another family as I mentioned in my earlier post. Go to a local county park so you’re close to home in case something happens that you feel you can’t handle (health issues, sleeping bag wetting, etc.). At least give it a try!

Do you have a success story to share? Encourage another family by commenting!

Do You Wonder?

September 17, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

Do you wonder?

How life can get so tangled up sometimes, how so many decisions, choices and deadlines can block your sense of Light on your path?

I do.

Sometimes I wonder how all the little ‘yes I’d be happy to’ and ‘yes I can help’ and yes I can do that’ end up in the same week as a sick child with a science fair project due.

Do you ever wonder about where all this is leading?

I do.

I’ve wondered if all the busy-ness is really valuable or if it is a disease of America (or addiction) that we over-commit ourselves right out of a peaceful present and into a frantic pace that leads to an empty soul.

We have other choices. They’re hard to make at first. To say ‘No’ takes courage. To say ‘No’ takes purpose. We can make different choices. They may not make us popular with the moms at school or with our bosses when they want to add more to an overflowing inbox or with our children who come to us with the bottomless pit of ‘but I need…’ It’s time to press the pause button on this pace of life.

Stop. Breathe.

Take a moment and look around you. Inside. Outside. Find one thing that you hadn’t noticed.

Whatever that one thing is, take this moment to give God thanks for that one thing.

We can be so busy running from this to that we neglect the Most Important task on our list: prayer.

Be still and know that I am God.

He is here, He is with you in your dashing about, He has promised NEVER to leave you or forget you.

We forget. He doesn’t.

But He does forgive…

and we are free to begin anew. Make a new choice. Take the time to breathe. To be renewed. To fill your soul with His encouragement of peace and joy in your present moments.

To wonder at a big audacious God who loves, forgives, equips and abides with us…because of LOVE.

Now that is something worth wonder!

I’m joining in with Holley Gerth today; won’t you stop by?

Family Fun Fridays

September 12, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

A friend posted a parenting question on Facebook recently. “What do you like to do with your kids for FUN?”

I heard (or at least imagined) in her words a plea for something out of the ordinary. Something everyone would like. Something memorable.

Much of what moms do can be so ordinary: grocery shop, prepare meals (that get complaints), laundry, teach manners, teach pick up and put away (again and again and again), change diapers, clean up messes, clean up tiffs between siblings, repeat. Wanting to know what others do for fun made sense to me. When I was in the throes of parenting, I did not want to be the mom remembered for always being serious (“Oh I’m sorry you made that choice…”)

I also knew this Facebook friend was crowd sourcing (which is a great way to get a bunch of ideas all in one place) but her question gave me an idea for a Friday blog series; hence the title: Family Fun Fridays.

To start us off on this weekly venture I texted my sons (who are grown men in case you just dropped by) asking them what they remember of fun things we did together. Happily they quickly texted with favorites that made me smile. Number one for both of them? Camping.

Now before you throw your arms up and tell me you hate camping, please hear me out. I know that not all you parents grew up in families that camped, so lack of experience may keep you from it. You might think it’s an expensive way to get outdoors. It can be if you think you need every bell and whistle to be able to camp. I’ll say, Not Necessary. If you live in a city, getting out past the boundaries of crowded civilization will do all of you good. If you live near the great outdoors but haven’t gone camping as a family yet, give it a try!

Where else can you let your little boy do this?

(without worrying about how much the water costs?) Playing in water, dirt, sand, whatever, is a child’s slice of heaven. What great memories!

Here’s an idea, go camping with another family whose kids are near your kids ages. It’s a great way to share expenses, keep your kids entertained so you can rest a bit and get vitamin D for everyone!

Growing up, my parents always included another family in our camping trips. We went to Yosemite for two weeks one summer and Lake Tahoe for two weeks the next summer. My brother and I grew up with these kids. Their family lived in another part of our city so we only went to school with them once we got to high school, but by then it was so helpful to know someone in such a big school. But I digress…

If you’re worried about dirt conflicting with fashion, you can tell my mom managed to overcome the conflict. I on the other hand cleaned off in the river daily!

Remember, family fun is supposed to be out of the ordinary. Memorable. Camping certainly provides those two aspects. Where else can you do this with your kids?

In the midst of all the fun outdoors is the very real opportunity to look around at God’s Creation and appreciate the beauty He blessed us with and intends for us to enjoy.

This was my first camping trip at age 3. (please note all you dirt phobs; she’s wearing WHITE shorts) My early experiences with mountains and trees still cause me to pause, look up and give thanks to a great big God who made all this beauty.

Yes I grew up going camping so it was a natural thing to want to do with my own kids. But that didn’t mean I didn’t have to make a list of things to pack.

Camping can be simple. Try one weekend. Cereal for breakfast. Sandwiches for lunch. Mac n cheese for dinner. (jazz it up with peas and tuna!) S’mores for dessert!!

Borrow things before you invest to see if you really want to commit.

Go with another family who has other stuff like a tent, stove, lantern, etc.

Go. You may find you like it. You may also find that your children have memories of outdoor fun that will last a lifetime.

#1 Investment Strategy for Parents

September 11, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

Our economy is based on investments. Short term vs long term; high vs low yield. Where is the best place to put your money? The answers vary; they depend on who you’re talking to, who you’re listening to. With so many voices it’s hard to know what is truly best. That can be scary when you’re a young family saving for college, or an individual trying to make wise investments for the future. So many variables; so many ideas.

Financial investment strategies are valuable but don’t have the long term pay off parents truly need. You are wise to plan and save; there is no doubt about that. But what legacy will you leave your family beyond the material? What is the #1 investment strategy for parents?

I heard a great message on Tuesday from Sue Donaldson. She spoke to a group of moms about A Mother’s Legacy. Sue spoke with humor and wit but also interjected thoughts to ponder.

It caused me to reflect on my own sons and wondered what I have left for them. Interestingly, within an hour of driving away from the event, each of my sons called me to touch base and ask me for something. Prayer.

It dawned on me that God was showing me what my legacy will be for them…that I was a praying momma.

What a humbling thing, to be shown how one is seen.

I wasn’t always a woman of prayer. I was a woman of worry, fear and mistrust. I lived by ‘if it’s to be it’s up to me’ for so many years.

But God…

gave me sweet opportunities to learn from His Word as I sat rocking these baby boys. He taught me to lift up my worries to Him. To ask Him for favor, for their salvation, physical safety, development of their minds. He gave me words to pray back to Him like those at the end of

Psalm 91:14-16. I have prayed with each of their names inserted where the pronouns are:

“Because (he) has loved Me, therefore I will deliver (him); I will set (him) securely on high, because (he) has known My name.

(He) will call upon Me, and I will answer (him); I will be with (him) in trouble; I will rescue (him), and honor (him).

With a long life I will satisfy (him) and let (him) behold My salvation.”

He gave me a sense of purpose to spend the quiet times like those lifting up my dreams of who these babies would one day be, of the men they would grow into many years in the future. I developed the practice of using my laundry time to pray for the 10 year old feet who wore the once white socks; to pray for the arms that would go stronger over time, that they would become the men God desires them to be.

Now they are men. One is married to a beautiful, Christ-following woman. She was prayed for long before he met her. They serve God in His kingdom building purposes as church planters in Utah. The other son is in college, a sophomore Gator at UF, 3000 miles away.

I miss them. A lot. But God…

is with them, in them and guiding them in the lives He has planned for them.

Just as this simple momma asked Him again and again.

My prayers are not my prayers alone. The One Who answers is also the One Who leads us to come be with Him in the quiet place where our soul can breathe out the burdens and worries and breathe in His peace in return.

God has taught me to rest in Him. He has got these babies/boys/men.

Trusting God. Talking with Him about everything. What a gift that He gave me years ago; the gift of prayer.

A gift of investment. Of time, of heart, of hope. You deposit your meager prayers like I did.

Ask Him. He longs to hear your words, pleas, worries and fears. He will transform those investments (and you!) over time.

It is your #1 investment strategy that will pay huge dividends both now and eternity future!

The Value of Listening

March 26, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

Listening is underrated. We want to talk. About ourselves. Our challenges, successes and joys. But what of listening?

I mean really listening? Uh huh. What did you say?

Half-hearted attention to the person speaking is not really listening. Neither is being able to parrot back the last phrase of what was just said. (I was really good at that)

Really listening requires an undivided attention to the person speaking. As a Mom of one I was fully present when he was with me; I had to work full time when he was little so I treasured time and attention with him. As a stay at home Mom of two I perfected the “listening without paying attention” behavior while my hands and eyes were directed elsewhere. My youngest caught on and would reach my cheek and ever so gently pull my face toward him. Smart cookie.

Whatever could be more important than the stories of children? (I’m sure we can come up with a list. But really?)

I managed to grasp the value of listening by taking a parenting class where the basics of good listening skills were reviewed.

Eye contact.

Focus on speaker, free of distractions

I realized I had developed the skate by and appear as if behaviors. It hit me: I wasn’t really being present. I was giving away precious time to other truly less precious things.

I needed to be intentional. That was in 1997. I was 40. A little too late to the party?

This is one of my favorite quotes of George Eliot’s. Illustrated by my favorite whimsical artist, Mary Engelbreit. This has had a prominent place in my life for a.long.time.

There was hope! I could become a more attentive Mom. And wife. And friend. And teacher. It’s never too late…

1997 was in the days before smart phones with all the social media connection points. For you history buffs out there.

I was once told I ‘could distract myself in a paper bag’ so that should tell you a bit about how much challenge lay ahead for me to develop the value of listening. But being intentional, making the same choice again and again and again to focus my eye contact on who was speaking, to free myself (as much as possible) from distraction, to really listen; I began to change my behavior.

Being intentional.

I had the privilege of sitting next to a very intentional woman last evening. And listening to her speak about her life, her writing and her family’s intentional choices of simplicity. Tsh Oxenreider shared with all of us gathered to listen. Eyes on her, with few distractions. And great value came from that time. Tsh is very at ease in life; she confessed she doesn’t have all the answers and doesn’t want to lead in that way. She invites others to consider their intentions about family, money, priorities, schooling, travel. Tsh spoke a bit about her newest book Notes from a Blue Bike and the group of young women (I was the outlier) listening gleaned much. She also modeled the value of listening as she asked the group open-ended questions about their lives and was attentive to each woman’s response.

The value of listening. We can glean much from one another. What we do with what we take away is an intentional choice. Whether you’re a friend, wife, mom, sister, daughter, employee or employer, listening well is an intentional choice.

A step of intention. Who do you need to value listening to today?