Personal

Learning to Risk

January 23, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

Life is hard isn’t it?
I could stop there.
But then I would be leaving out the best part: this is only training.
Yep. You are in training for the future. While you are living your day to day life you are learning to risk.
Learning to lead.
Learning to follow.
Learning to let go.
Learning to be like the One who knit you together in your mother’s womb. And that means you are going to be changing. A lot.
Do you imagine that you’re saved and taken to heaven just as you are?
Nope.
We’re really not some good deal that God got when He chose us. He is at work changing us to be more like His Son everyday.
Sometimes change is easy but most of the time change like this is hard.
You are in a character reformation program that sometimes feels like a sander on a rough piece of wood; noisy, smelly and hot as the wood is reshaped.
Sounds pleasant doesn’t it?
One of the things I’ve learned in my own journey of reformation is that it’s a whole lot easier to go along with the process than it is to fight change.
Now I’m not talking about change just for the sake of change.
I’m talking about the kind of change that actually costs something. Like letting go of a friendship that doesn’t help you spiritually. Like letting your adult children lead their lives separate from your family; following The Lord as He leads them. Like moving away from all that is familiar to follow your husband’s career. Like finding homes for your pets because they can’t live in your new area. Like taking the risk of stepping out into the unknown future and Trusting the One who loves you desperately to follow Him wherever He leads.

Learning to Risk is practiced in little steps. Not in giant leaps all the time. He knows how much you are willing to risk. Funny thing though, He was willing to risk His very life for us.

How are you learning to risk for Him?

Learning to Hear

January 9, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

Telling a story once may bring laughter, tears or insight. Who doesn’t love a good story? One that engages your head and your heart; causes you to think about life differently; appreciate what you have even more. Telling a story, the same story in the same way many times, can become part of your story.

Pieces of my story have been collected on these pages for almost 5 years now. I don’t tell my story just to be heard. I tell my story to process its elements and try to make sense in Light of a Greater Story. My desire is that through my story I am pointing to the One True Story and helping you see and hear how you can connect your story with the greatest story ever told.

For a few years I have been practicing listening skills. My ears work fine. But listening is a different thing altogether.

Listening requires focus. (internal as well as external) Freedom from distraction. Patience. Silence. Humility. (letting others talk instead of me) Listening to the heart requires wisdom as well.

After my Dad died I spent a lot of time alone allowing deep grief to be my daily silent companion. It was a form of depression for sure but not the black cloud that swallows many for various reasons. This was the result of the shock; the sudden tragic loss. And I knew I needed to be in the grief and not push it away, pretending everything was ok. It wasn’t. I was learning to recognize wisdom when I heard it.

I sat in the garden one day in May for I don’t know how long. I watched the flowers sway in the spring breeze. I heard birds chirping and cars driving by. But I sat unmoving, deep in self-pity; the kind that leads to despair.

Suddenly to my right a hummingbird started working the lipstick salvia plant that I had purchased on a trip to the nursery; a trip that was meant as a distraction for me. While there I saw a hummingbird approach a small 4 inch potted plant that had 2 flowers on it. I stood mesmerized remembering how much my Dad loved to feed hummingbirds in his backyard. I bought the plant and put it in the ground in our front yard. That plant was attracting another hummingbird and I just watched in awed silence. Tears welled up and spilled over as I thought of my Dad. I said out loud to God, “don’t you even care how hard this is for me? Do you even see how much I am hurting?”

I turned away from watching the hummingbird and looked at my hands in my lap. I had clenched both hands into fists. Staring at my anger in view of my hands I heard a faint whirring noise. I looked up and there, right in front of me not 2 feet away, a hummingbird hovered, staring at me.

At the risk of something precious being ridiculed, I will share: I knew at that moment God heard me in my grief.

He has gone to greater lengths than causing a hummingbird to pause in its flight to demonstrate His love for me. But do I listen?

He told us “Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” He showed us “Greater love has no one than this; that he lay down his life for his friends.” He promised us a Helper “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.”

He also said “he who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Six times this is recorded in the gospels and always in the context of Jesus teaching something. The word we see translated ‘to hear’ has meaning beyond the ears functioning. English simply leaves out so much intent and is much too general. The Greek word used here ‘akouo’ means ‘I hear, I comprehend through hearing’.

Do we comprehend what manner of love and provision God has for us? Are we gleaning wisdom from His Word? Are we in the process of learning to hear?

Learning to See

January 7, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

Have you ever seen a new litter of kittens? Or puppies? Minutes or hours new? They have something in common; their eyes are fused shut. They don’t open for quite some time after birth; little ones move slowly and you can tell their uncertainty in their surroundings by their tiny whimpers or mews.

A newborn child is born seeing although it has limited sight at first. According to my dear hubster, our second son was born with one eye open and a wary expression on his face as if asking “who are you and why did you make me leave that warm place?”

Sight is a gift. A sense that may come perfectly formed in humans or in some cases not formed at all. There are also in between cases like me. It was discovered that I had severe myopia when I started school. I’m not sure what my parents thought about my squinting behavior before then but at the end of my kindergarten year I received my first pair of glasses. Learning to see with glasses meant I didn’t have to sit close to the TV or in the front row to see the chalkboard.

Who knew that our fashions of the 60s would be so trendy in the millennial teens? (My Mom, little brother and me, 1965)

It was not the greatest time in history to be wearing glasses since not all that many children wore glasses when I was in elementary school. And those that did were teased big time. Oh well.

My parents sacrificed a lot for me as a teenager. I had braces and contacts at the end of my freshman year in high school. Learning to see with contacts was an adventure. Wind and sand were not my friends at the beach. Learning to surf meant no contacts which also meant no seeing. That and not balancing well shortened my surfer girl persona.

As an adult, I lost contacts waterskiing because I just couldn’t imagine hanging out in the ocean 100 feet behind the boat and not knowing when a shark was close by. Not too many sharks in Mission Bay near San Diego but between the coast and Catalina Island? Who knows?

Seeing is a gift that we most often take for granted. For years after the technology became available my Mom encouraged me to have Lasik treatment done. I was a big chicken. I didn’t want to be a statistic. I had kids to raise and what would I do? But in January, 2011 I decided I would have the procedure. I was scared for sure. Looking back on that day the most significant moment that stands out to me happened at the check in desk.

The receptionist was going through the post op with my husband when a woman in the waiting area came up to me. She laid her hand on my arm and told me how happy she was to be able to give her daughter the gift of sight. Random? Perhaps. But I also was finally doing what my Mom had encouraged me to do for so long and was able to afford it as a gift; part of my Mom’s estate.

The surgery was a success and I have lived two years without glasses for the first time since I was 6. Learning to see without aid was a re-training of my brain.

Learning to see ourselves as God sees us is a re-training of our brain as well. Paul tells us in his letter to the church in Rome “do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Being changed from the inside out is instantaneous for some but for others is a process: a long, slow, learning to see.

Beth Moore wrote in her study Breaking Free: “You are not defined by anything that happened to you or anything you have done. You are defined by who you are in Christ.” Do you know who you are in Christ?

“…until the truths of our pasts converge with the truths of God’s Word, we will never be whole.” (from Breaking Free)

Learning to see.

Change it Up

January 3, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

This is lovely sketch was made by artist Rebekah Leigh Marshall. I am found her work online. I’m fond of tandem bicycling…

I’m four months into my 57th trip around the sun. That is a sobering statement. Oddly it is also an invigorating challenge.

What new things can I learn to do? What old things can I make better? What about my character needs refining? What about my character needs sharing? Where are my gifts, talents and skills needed?

Those are some of questions I have pondered prior to the beginning of the New Year, 2014. And like most people I have lists: lists for groceries, projects, tasks, reading, writing to people; you name it. I probably have written a list. But this year isn’t about lists.

I’ve learned some things about myself in these many annual trips: I like some things to stay the same and I like to change some things. Unfortunately the things I’d like to stay the same are completely out of my influence to remain the same. (think children growing up and moving away). The things that I’d like to change and are completely within the realm of my influence to accomplish I have often not accomplished. blegh.

As I have pondered my lists and recognized my one very-within-reason-to-change character flaw, I chose the word for my change-it-up efforts for the year: Resolve. I explained my choice more fully here.

My firm commitment is not just to complete my lists. Or change a character trait. Although those are both great things to commit to accomplishing. No my firm commitment is to live out the words of Paul to the church at Corinth. Near the end of his letter he wrote this: “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

Now a casual reading might give the impression this about being stodgy and stiff; that you’re supposed to never change and never rest. And like most times when we take a verse of Scripture out of its context we can run the risk of misinterpreting what is there for us. So a brief interlude for a valuable point of history:

Paul wrote to the church at Corinth because they had started to live their lives like everyone else around them rather than following the teachings of Jesus as they had been shared by Paul. The church had the same values as the culture. Paul spent a lot of specific writing reminding the Christ followers what it means to actually follow Christ. And near the end of his letter he encourages them to “be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

Knowing the context helps me to try to make sense for my own life of following along the Way. I need to break things down into little pieces that I can somewhat wrap my head around. So here’s what I’ve learned in looking at this verse and why I’ve ended up with the one word Resolve for my focus this year.

Steadfast is not a word we use in daily conversations. Why not? Maybe our culture doesn’t support a word like this; listen to the definitions: fixed in direction; a steadfast gaze. firm in purpose, resolution, faith; a steadfast friend. unwavering. What is steadfast in our culture?

Abounding is also another word lost to our regular speech. Too bad. It’s a cool word. It originates from Latin and means overflow, or run over.

So stitching these word meanings into this verse helps me see that as a Christ follower what I do in my life with the Lord (which is everything because He lives in me, in you if you name His name) isn’t wasted. It’s not in vain. I can be fixing my gaze on Christ, getting to know Him more and more, and overflow with what He shows me in His Word. So, how I live my life, how I speak to others, how I spend my time, how I show grace to those who hurt me, how I forgive and forgive and forgive again, is not just me going through the motions. It is God at work. Changing it up in me, making me look more like Jesus every day. WOW!

I need to get on His two seater bike and be in tandem with Him. And what a ride it has been so far; He promises the adventure of a lifetime!

He has promised many good things but most of all His abiding Presence. Life here does not get any better than living daily with the awareness of His very real Presence.

I resolve to be on the bike in Tandem with Jesus.

What are you changing up this year?

Please also visit Rebekah

A New Year, A New Day, A New Attitude

January 1, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

New New New! There is enthusiasm. Relief. Anticipation. New Year. New Day. New Attitude. If you’re a bandwagon-er you are probably also one who makes resolutions. My soon to be sis-in-law posted on Instagram today that their resolutions to eat less junk food and exercise more were broken on Day 1 when the cake they planned to take to a football party broke on its way from pan to plate for frosting. Instead of repairing it, they ate the broken cake with frosting on each bite. Resolution dissolution on Day 1.

Been there? Of course. Most regular people have difficulty with resolutions because they focus on negative behavior. Ironically, what we focus on is what we reinforce. So if we are trying to change something we can’t focus on what needs to change but rather what the is goal. All kinds of research in human behavior shows that if you want to be able to do something, you picture yourself doing that something. Focus on the positive result not the negative to be changed. Psych 101.

For decades I have been that person who wants to improve. Learn new things. Change old habits. Yes, lose weight. Eat healthier. Exercise more. Yada Yada Yada.

Well this new year of 2014 is a perfect storm of learning and application for me. If you’ve visited my blog before you already know the major life changes 2013 brought my way. All good but all of them very hard to walk through. Lots of tears. Lots of goodbyes. Lots of losses.

2014 is about New. New place. New church. New life. New Attitude.

I have read many great books near the end of 2013. I have begun applying new learnings. I have been encouraged by colleagues in new communities online. There is much to do. I could be overwhelmed with all the new applications, but instead of feeling fragmented and working down a list of things to do, I am choosing to focus. On just One Word.

Instead of a list of resolutions I have chosen My One Word. Resolve. It is a word to encompass all the lists. It is a noun meaning a firm determination to do something.

I am a great starter. I love to gather the info, the materials, all that is needed to accomplish a new idea or project. When we moved last year I was confronted with just how many projects and needed materials I had gathered! I have lacked follow through (to quote one of my dear family members) and that is a character flaw that I want (and need) to change. So my one word for 2014 is Resolve.

Resolve is a strong word. A firm determination. Not a ‘I-want-to-get-around-to-doing-that’ kind of word. Resolve is a ‘kick-butt-and-take-names’ kind of word. I want to be a woman of my word. I want to be known as a woman of The Word. Someone people can rely on; to trust to be full of wisdom and follow through; to complete what I’ve committed to.

I chose the picture of the sand dunes at Oceano as the back drop for the word Resolve since sands shift but Resolve does not.

The beauty of this word Resolve is that it aligns with God’s desire for me as I walk this life with Him. “Be steadfast (resolute) immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.”1Cor.15:58

If you are tired of making resolutions that fall apart the first day (like a cake I heard of) spend some time reflecting on a character trait you want to grow in your life.

Hop over to My One Word and join in the community. Take the step and commit yourself to just one word for 2014.

Resolve.

Reflections of 2013

December 31, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

2013 is coming to a close.

I am relieved. It has been a year of dramatic changes. There is always change taking place whether we see it or not; our children grow over night; the plants and seasons change without our notice. But some changes are very perceptible and measurable. Those are the ones that I’d like to slow down!

As I reflect on this year (which is what I have the habit of doing on Dec 31 every year) I am amazed at all that God has brought me through. I am grateful for His provision, protection and most of all Presence.

He has taught me much this year about relying on Him when all around me is changing. Psalm 46 begins and ends with the reminder that God is our refuge and stronghold. Just before the end of the Psalm is the often quoted, “be still and know that I am God”. How can we be still when there is so much doing that needs to be done?

This is a big part of what God has shown me this year: how to ‘be still’ while still moving. Now if that isn’t an oxymoron I don’t know what is! Yet it is a Truth that is worth reflecting upon as this year ends and a new one starts.

When you look at the surface of a large body of water ( I am most familiar with the Pacific Ocean but you insert the image that fits for you) there are waves that change in height and frequency depending on the wind. Storms stir up the activity on the surface and being on the water can be rough and dangerous.

Below the surface, into deep water, there is only a gentle motion, almost unnoticeable. The current is present but the motion can be described as nearly still. As I have pondered the mystery of how to be still and still doing, the Lord brought this image to mind: go below the surface of the busy-ness of life, into the depths with Me. He is a very present help, a refuge, our strength, a stronghold, a deliverer; His Word is full of the images that remind us of His Presence in spite of the outer turmoil.

Sometimes the turmoil was overwhelming and I didn’t handle it all very well. I could beat myself up over it. I could lament and stay stuck in ‘my woe is me’ attitude. Or, as I learned through the study of His Word, I could see myself rightly as He sees me. I practiced time alone with Him, with His Word, in His creation, walking and talking with Him alone. Learning from Him along the Way. These sacrifices of “my time” were gifts He gave back to me in volume.

We can say, ‘I’m too busy to be still’ or ‘I have too many demands on me to make time for myself like that’ and keep rushing ahead without peace. We wonder what the Bible means when it says things like ‘You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on You because he trusts in You.’ How is that supposed to happen? That must be for someone else that has time to sit around and read and pray. “I don’t have that luxury in my life.”

We can repeat the same pattern of thought and behavior that gets us back to being stuck, or we can choose to go forward thinking differently about ourselves and our circumstances, thinking God’s thoughts.

Oswald Chambers reflected on Isaiah 52:12: “He will keep watch so that we will not be tripped up again by the same failures, as would undoubtedly happen if He were not our ‘rear guard’. And God’s hand reaches back to the past, settling all the claims against our conscience.”

As this year closes, I am grateful for this knowledge and for the opportunities He gave me to practice and apply these Truths in my life. And now He calls us forward to grow and change. Not to stay the same. We as Christ followers are to be about the business of becoming more Christ-like not about the business of shoring up “the way I am” or “the way I’ve always done things”. There is more to do, grow and change.

I am making plans for this new year. I reflect on what has passed this year and reach forward into the new. God is already there, reaching His hand back to me to lead me forward. He wants to do the same for you. Will you take His hand?

What is one area you are planning to make changes in this coming year?

From 1st to 2nd and the In Between

December 17, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

I have been silent. Hours of time spent by myself in silence.
What used to be something I filled with too many things now is actually a comfort to me. I have been learning to let go and to wait in ways I have never before had opportunity.

There is loss and longing that I face. I don’t deny.

It’s our first Christmas out of our home of 15 years. Our college son flew in from his out of state U and then in a whirlwind hour and a half was out the door driving to our former town. To see friends. To work the holidays where his summer job offered time. Beautiful to have work. And friends to welcome him in.

He is facing the changes in his own way. It’s not his home anymore. Our home where the Hubster and I live will always have a place for our children to stay when they come, but the childhood home? That’s gone.

He sent me this picture yesterdayHis kitty, who lives with our neighbors now. If you look closely you can see his hand in the reflection. She was inside. He couldn’t hold her. She would lie in his arms like a baby. I ache.

I have been reading a lot in this season. Wonderful books. Encouraging. Deepening. Challenging books. A Million Little Ways by Emily P Freeman in which she helps us see. A Confident Heart by Renee Swope in which she helps us look at ourselves through the lens of Truth. Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey (more on that later!). I have also been reading an Advent devotional called Emmanuel published by She Reads Truth.

I am reminded that this is not my home, that I am a sojourner here, not just here but HERE. I am living between the 1st and 2nd. Jesus’ Birth the first Advent of Jesus. The looking forward to His 2nd return as King. How am I doing?

All of these writings have given me encouragement, comfort and a sense of being understood. I am the poeima of God, made to live the art that is my life. I no longer need live in the shadows of the past. I am gifted to serve the community in unique ways.

This too early out of bed morning I began Jeff Goins latest book The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing. And right there in the introduction was a gem for this day: “The challenge is what we do with these times, how we use–or waste–our waiting. The slower times contain a wealth of wisdom for us to tap into, but only when we recognize them.”

How am I doing? I am learning. To believe what is true. To be honest when it hurts. To be open to possibilities. To give grace to those around me who are also living life in the open. In between the now and not yet.

There is JOY in this place. So many people and circumstances for which to be thankful. Change is hard but change is good. Only God is constant.

Only God.

30 Days of Giving #22: Have You Ever Wondered?

November 26, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

Have you ever wondered what your life might have been like had you been born in another time or place?

I do. I imagine a lot.

Travel. Read. Learn.

Some of my favorite things.

We were privileged to travel together on a business trip that took us to the UK. We ate in places where locals eat; not chain restaurants from the US (they are there). We threw our regular way of eating out the window; embracing local favorites like “Toad in the Hole”

No trip to the United Kingdom would be complete without scones with clotted cream

There is something romantic for me about the UK. Not romantic like kiss-kiss but in the connection to something bigger, a bigger story than my own.
Do you ever feel the need to know you’re connected to the past? I’ve heard people of different ethnic groups express this when they have traveled to their country of origin so I know I am not completely off my rocker here. I have been able to travel to the UK twice and both times I was deeply moved by the sense of connection to ancient origins.
Take a moment and read this plaque posted within the ancient walls of Gloucester Cathedral:

For 1000 years a place of prayer.
Nothing in the US built by human hands is 1000 years old.
I stood wondering of the lives who offered prayers to the same triune God because of whom I live and breathe and have my very being.
Their challenges were different to be sure. But Solomon told us longer ago that there is nothing new under the sun. We might argue that technology, scientific discoveries, medicine are all examples of “new” things since Solomon wrote those words. But I think he spoke of something different; I think he spoke of human nature.
Our internal struggles with value, self-worth, relationships with others and with God are all the same struggles the people of south-west England dealt with over 1000 years ago.
My connection to the past is through the Cross.
We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. All.
We all have been invited to live a with God life while we are here on earth.
We all have seen the war within as the conflict between two natures rages as we work out our salvation. Not work for. Work out.
Allow God to be seen in us and through us in the way we live our lives.
Simply peeling potatoes or doing laundry. Interacting with family that may be as near strangers through limits of time and space.
God has not changed. Countries change. Cultures change. We change. God does not change.
This Truth is the comforting connection that I arrived at as I stood wondering.

30 Days of Giving #21: Travel Musings

November 25, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

Today’s musings actually were written on 11/21 as we flew from San Francisco to Orlando.
a cross country flight
a middle seat
a view
of sorts
sun glistening the fresh dusting of the mountains
an overnight snowfall
from 30,000 feet looks like powdered sugar on the mounds of earth far below
childlike i lean forward to catch a glimpse of the majesty
very undignified my leaning
smiling i realize dignity is not an external
dignity is a concept that comes from within
like many of the outward affects
not worn but lived

too bad others didn’t learn the lesson of inward cultivation
too bad others didn’t take time to slow down
to look
to wonder
to catch glimpses of the Divine in the world

30 Days of Giving #20: Rhythm

November 20, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

As a little girl it took me a long time to spell this word correctly. In the logic side of my brain there are no vowels in the word rhythm. Unless you learned the “and sometimes y” rule of spelling.

It’s a great word really: rhythm; not a new word to our language at all. If you know your ancient languages, Greek precedes Latin in history and both languages have definitions that English has absorbed. The Greek language gave us the word rhythm from their word rhythmos which means measured flow or movement; Latin said rhythmus meant “movement in time”.

Think music. As I write this my percussionist hubster is packing his drumstick bag into our suitcase in the next room. We fly to Florida tomorrow where he is attending his alma mater’s marching band reunion for the first time since he graduated from UF (in the previous century).

He is all about rhythm. Tapping foot, thumping fingers, trilling tongue; rhythm is always happening. I think his mother must have the patience of Job because both Colin and his next younger brother are percussionists so drumming and banging went on in their home all the time. Thankfully for her, they are both gifted musically, so they actually made music not just noise.

The Greek word rhythmos doesn’t stop at music. Listen to these further definitions: arrangement, order, form, shape.

Think seasons. There is an arrangement, an order to the seasons; spring: full of anticipation of new growth; summer: showing off signs full fruit & flower; fall: arms full of abundance and colors change while temperatures cool; winter: blanketed with gray or white to rest from growing.

We expect seasons. We need the order of seasons. We look for and live by the rhythm of the seasons. How many times have you heard someone comment on the out of sync display of Christmas merchandise in mid-October? This jars the rhythm that we have come to expect and need.

But the Greeks didn’t stop with music or seasons in their definition of rhythmos: they also used the word to identify “soul disposition”. Now here is a definition of rhythm that can use some exploring!

What is the disposition of a soul? How does a soul demonstrate rhythm? How does one practice soul rhythms?

I, by no means, have this thought through all the way or clearly understood or even developed within me, but there are lots of people who have gone before us who’ve pondered and shared what they learned as they practiced soul rhythms. I have gone through seasons of reading books by authors who lived hundreds of years ago, gleaning what I could from their experiences.

My #1 all time favorite read of this nature is Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. In the thin book, a collection of letters compiled by a friend, Brother Lawrence told of his deepening journey of faith through the rhythms of his daily life.

What are your current rhythms of daily life? Do they bring you through awareness of your need for rest, re-creation, growth, giving out, work, renewal? Is your soul full or starved? Do you feel abundance or stretched thin over too many responsibilities?

These two are on my shortlist to read. They each have wisdom to offer to help with my soul rhythm. I want to get in sync with what God is doing and not miss a beat.

How about you?