Learning Along The Way

So Much Life Happens

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Some seasons of life feel like they drag on.  Remember how long summer vacation was when you were a kid?  It’s still the same length of time between school ending and starting again but as an adult it flies by now.

Perhaps you’re looking forward to a big event like your wedding.  The waiting can seem endless.

As a Mom living in the diaper stage, potty training can’t come soon enough!  Or some of you are anxiously awaiting your kids start of school so you can have time to yourself again.

Just know that it all flies by and then…memories.

SO much Life happens in relatively short periods of time that you can forget to slow down and reflect.  Appreciate.  Rejoice.

I am so thankful for photographs that capture moments and stimulate memories.  I slowed down this morning to look back at the happenings in the lives of our family in this past year.

College graduation.

2 1/2 months later, a wedding.

Senior Portrait for the final year of high school.

Blink!

The Senior year has come to an end and his Tennis coach is thanking him for a great 3 years as his team manager.

Where did that time go?

Then that celebration day came.too.quickly.

And then off on the adventure of this 18 year life time…Europe for 3 1/2 weeks.

Envy is a sin.  I need forgiveness.

What I need daily is what you need.  Time to reflect. To take stock. To say Thank You.I come here twice a week for just those things. Solitude. Listening. Reflection.

The result for me is Peace.

I am grateful for the life that happened this past year.  Joy and sadness blended together. Real life. Fast and fleeting.

I am grateful for photos that remind me. Friends that walked with me. Family that supports me.

And most of all my Lord Who loves me perfectly.

Whirlwind of Self-imposed Change

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I’ve been promising to tell you what is happening in the lives of our family but each time I start to write something else changes!  Words have been hard to bring out of me; lots are floating around inside like a baby in utero tumbling and growing, waiting to be born.

The theme: Change

Here are some images and accompanying thoughts…

All this is in storage.

Not getting exercise going up and down these 15 times a day.

This is not my view daily.

I don’t sit outside, looking at and listening to this either.

 

 

And this sweet guy needs a new forever home.

 

We’re on an adventure of stepping out of our comfort zone and into what is unknown to us but totally known to God.  He knows the plans He has for us, He declares, plans for welfare and not calamity to give us a future and a hope!  This is big time Trust with a capital T.

More to come I promise!  And not in a month from now either…

In the meantime, if you think of me, us, please thank God for His guiding and directing!

Breaking the Silence

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I want to begin with an apology.  I’m sorry I haven’t written.  I’m sure you’ve wondered what’s been going on and why you haven’t heard from me.  Well, like most lives, mine got full and something had to be set – aside for a time.  I unfortunately chose my writing.  But there has been so much going on to write about that I have to get started again!

A significant season has come to an end in my life.  It wasn’t sudden; I saw the signs of the change coming.  But it has ended. I exhale and realize that all I focused my life on for 25 years has shifted.  The season of parenting has come to an end. *sniff*

No one has died; but my two chicks have grown to adults and have flown from the nest. And that is how it should be.  But there is a temptation to sadness in looking back over their childhood and youthful years and remembering all the hurts or left undones.  I don’t know about you but I must choose to see all the goods and well dones too.  My tendencies are toward the not enough rather than good enough. 

But as I look at the men I have had the distinct privilege of raising the only thing I do see is the goodness of God.  He loves well.  He has grown these little boys into strong, capable, compassionate men in spite of my meddling in His work.  I am left with the knowledge that God built them to be who they are; my dear husband and I were the stewards, the caretakers of them for a time.  Now we have given them back.  We still have opportunity to influence through prayer and the giving of occasional sought out advice but they are done being parented.

So now what do I do with myself?

Ideas?  I have some but I’d love to hear yours!

On this Memorial Day

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We stop today to thank those who have served our country, served each of us, and have paid with the ultimate price: their life.

Our freedom has never been free.  It comes at a high cost.

Whether we think about the sacrifices on a national, history – wide level or more personally, on an individual life level, there have been many lives suddenly cut short because of war.

I never think of Memorial Day only at a National level.

This is a real family photo: my mother and her brother at Christmas 1956. He was a senior at USMA at West Point; she a newlywed of three months.  All of life ahead with many joys yet to be experienced.  And sorrows.

Life is like that here. Joys and sorrows mingle; peace is fragile and fleeting.

Vietnam.

Our lives were changed because of that war.

Lives are changed by war.

Memorial Day is intended for us to pause, reflect upon and acknowledge the very real sacrifices that have been made for our benefit.

I was 10 when my uncle was killed in Vietnam; he left a young wife with two young children alone. His family forever changed; his extended family as well. The day he was buried, my 5th grade class recited the Gettysburg Address at the school assembly. An activity that impacted me deeply.

“It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom…”

But the truth is, there is no lasting freedom, no lasting peace on this earth.  True freedom and lasting peace can only be found in and through the Prince of Peace. The world is in an eternal conflict that will one day result in destruction that is unimaginable.

I am bent toward happy thoughts.  Like imagining my mom and her brother enjoying eternity in the Presence of their Savior.  I like to imagine that.  Like thanking God for all those who were willing to serve this country with their very life.  Today we have choices.  We won’t always have choices. You might be of the mind like Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With the Wind: ” I won’t think about that today; I’ll think about that tomorrow!”  Funny thing is: tomorrow never comes.  There is only today. Have you responded to the Call to “Come Follow Me?”

“…choose for yourselves today whom you will serve…as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

 

Be Transformed!

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Romans 12:1-2 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

 

What is the one thing that keeps you from stepping out toward the big dream you have?

What if that one thing was removed from your path?  Would you step forward?  Or would you find one more thing that’s keeping you from taking that step?

 

As I have listened to women talk about their dreams of what is still ahead in life there is often a sadness; a focus on “if only”.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is tied to an event in the past.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is attached to an expected outcome.  Both are rocks in the path that cause them to stumble.

 

We do not live in the past.  We do not know the future.  We live in the gift of this moment; the present.

 

The events of our past may legitimately be terrible experiences.  We may have scars to prove it.  If we stay focused on the ‘if only’ we are clinging to a false sense of reality and denying the sovereignty of God.  Boom.  That’s harsh but true.  How do we let go of the past?

 

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

I’m not saying pretend that bad things didn’t or won’t happen.  I’m saying put the true bad things in the Hands of the One who saw and has the power to redeem.  And then LET GO.

 

Clinging to the past keeps us from having open hands to the present.

 

What if your issue is looking ahead and anticipating the bad things, the stumbling blocks that could be or might be in your path?  The opposite side of hanging on to the past is worry about the unknowns of the future.  What do you do if you’re plagued with worry?

 

The answer is still the same: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

Renewal comes from God.  His Word is life, truth, light to our path.  Get in It.

 

Well-intentioned, faithful women (I include me in this) have stumbled again and again in similar ways.  What keeps us from simply being renewed? From simply doing the work of verse memory? From living out what we say we believe?  From trust that God will come through?

 

Mindset. 

 

It’s the familiar path your thoughts take when you are faced with something new.

 

Stop for a minute and think about how you talk to yourself (either aloud or in your head)

 

Are you loving and encouraging in the face of mistakes or unknowns?  Or are your words harsh, critical and demeaning?  Do you say things to yourself you would NEVER say to a friend or a child?  If your mindset is a negative one, you set yourself up for discouragement and setbacks time and again.

 

The work of changing your mindset needs external support.  Talking out your dreams and aspirations and facing the real or perceived rocks in your path can help you in the work of transformation.  That’s what I do.  As a Christian Life Coach my role in my clients’ lives is to listen and ask questions; questions that help each client clarify what is their next step to take.  I have the distinct privilege of sitting with a woman, prayerfully listening for God’s wisdom for that woman and asking the question that causes them to ponder below the surface of the everyday.

 

“Knowing what is right is like deep water in the heart; a wise person draws from the well within.” (Proverbs 20:5 The Message)

 

Let go of the past.  Look forward with joyful anticipation.  Live in the present.

 

Sound too good to be true?  Let’s talk.

Life Lessons: Learning in the Classroom of Mom

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Have you ever stopped to take inventory of what you life lessons you’ve learned from your Mom?  I don’t mean the lessons where she told you “I want you to know how to do this”.  I mean the lessons that were “caught” not “taught”.

I have.  They are many.  I confess I am not as good at them as she was in doing them.  But I learned from her the most important value.

Invest in people.

My Mom was an Educator.  She taught English and Journalism and Leadership.  She inspired students to go to college; to step out of their comfort zones; to dare to go beyond what they thought they could do.

She invested in her colleagues in the same way.  She gave without asking for any favors in return.  When she was in charge as a high school principal she made sure others had opportunities to step forward in their careers.

She invested.  I watched.  I learned.

 

 

She built up her teaching staff through involvement in site and district wide professional development.  Life long learning was something she modeled and preached.

She invested.  I watched.  I learned.

 

 

My Mom loved her friends.  She invested herself in life long friendships. This particular group were friends in college. They laughed. They cried. They traveled. They remained friends to the end. The three of this group who remain all came alongside me during my time of grief.

She invested.  I watched.  I hope I have learned.

 

My Mom LOVED her grandsons.  She invested in them. Every. opportunity. she. had.  She read to them.  She played with them.  She encouraged their imaginations.  She fostered their creativity.  She taught them about far away places. She took them there.  She inspired them to be great men.

 

She invested.  I watched.  I was blessed.

 

In the desire for balance in all things, I would be remiss if I did not account for the life lessons my Mom showed me.  I learned to push past my fears and hardships to take steps forward in ways many others have not been encouraged to do in their own lives.  I definitely would not be the woman I am without the influence of my Mother.  God knew what He was about in the design of this woman who was my Mother.  He knew what I needed to be able to grow and change; to learn to be my utmost for His highest.

I am still learning in the classroom of Mom.

What about you?  What is one life lesson you’ve caught from your Mom?

 

This Mother’s Day

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What is it about Mother’s Day that was always so painful?

 

My mother didn’t “get” me. 

I wasn’t easy. 

I talked a lot. 

And then was broken.

Through my brokenness I needed.

She had nothing to give.

Her own brokenness had been pushed away and put away, never to be fully faced but always to be lived out of; embittered, angry, and impatient with anyone who asked of her more than what she was willing to offer.

That was me.

Empty, needy and hurting I wanted her…

comfort, understanding, time, presence.

A skinned knee—“Bactine and Band Aids are in the cupboard”

A hurt and misunderstood heart—“Life’s not fair, get over it.”

A listening ear—“I don’t have time to listen to your whining!”

What a child sees and hears may not be all of the reality that is being lived out.  Children lack the skills to see beyond the responses; but the words bore deep into the forming soul.

As I seek deep healing from the One who gave it all, I look back and see her differently:

A wounded heart that had not sought the Master’s touch to heal

A broken girl trying to achieve acceptance in the world

A neglected woman working to earn favor in the workplace

A mother of two broken children: frustrated, without resources, believing lies

As I come to this Mother’s Day, I come with renewed perspective.

Eucharisteo

I give thanks for the dark graces of my childhood

To see them as scars, no longer wounds.

To rejoice in the fellowship of His sufferings, knowing full well that all I walked through He walked with me, although unknown to me at the time.

He touches the places of the deep bore-holes and peace enters in.

I am loved as I am.

I am seen for Whose I am.

I am accepted because He was forsaken.

Because I am learning to see my life through the redeeming work of the Cross, I am able to say what is and truly forgive.  How can I not when I have been forgiven all?

She is gone 6 years now.  I wish I knew then what I know now.  I would take a do-over pass if offered.

I would love to show her grace.  I would love to say I’m sorry for all her pain and sorrow.  But I can’t.

Don’t let the past dictate your present.  Let it go.  Forgive.

Receive the gift, the grace given

Give thanks

The result?

Joy

Opportunities to Connect

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I was privileged to participate in an amazing life-focusing experience recently.  I participated in a group that read and discussed the book you see pictured above.  This is my copy of this marvelous book by Kim Avery titled, Uniquely You:Discover Your Life Purpose.  Notice the cover is bent and worn.  Proof that I’ve opened it more than once!

I’ll tell you what, this book has been a fantastic, easy to read, and transformational tool that God has used in my life. No exaggeration.  I would love all my friends and their friends and their friends’ friends to be able to read and interact with other women about this book. It’s that good. Really. That good.

Listen to these questions Kim asks:

  • Do you feel overworked, overwhelmed and unfulfilled?
  • Do you ever wonder if you are missing out on God’s best?
  • Do you know and live out the purpose God has for YOU?

I asked Kim if I could offer a book group using Uniquely You.  She said Yes!  I’m so excited to be able to offer YOU a group!  There are a couple of different opportunities to connect.  I am offering two group options during the month of May:

Each group will meet all 5 Fridays for one hour either

  • 1) in the mid-morning at my office, or
  • 2) at noon PST on the phone through my bridge line (you can be anywhere!)

This book is easily read and discussed in a small group of about 5.  It will take you a personal time commitment of 10 minutes a day each week.  The book is written to be read in a 4 week format.  I want to offer the discussion group for 5 weeks to give enough discussion and processing time.  At the end of the book, you will have the option of a personal coaching session with me to allow you time for “What’s Next” after all you learn about yourself during our group time and through your individual reading times.

Interested?  Want to know particulars?

Leave a comment below; email me through my website; message me on Facebook; direct message me through Twitter, or simply call me!

You need to act quickly because of both limits of space (5 in a group) and time (to order the books!)

Depending on the number of women interested, I am considering offering the group again during the summer.  If your schedule prevents you from participating in either of these two times in May let me know.

Payoff for Sacrificed Sleep

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Some mornings I wake up early and I’m not happy about it.  But this particular morning I woke early, got dressed and jetted outside. This was my morning view.

And as if this wasn’t enough of a payoff for lost sleep, I was blessed with another image I’ll share below.  But I have to tell you about it before I show you.

A few years ago I read a terrific book by Mark Batterson, titled Wild Goose Chase.  I won’t give it away but suffice it to say the title is the English translation of the Celtic term for the Holy Spirit: An Geadh-Glas.  The book truly is a tool the Wild Goose used to open the eyes of my heart in new ways to see His work in and through me.  Read it.

This pond above is at a local retreat facility where I had the privilege of spending the weekend speaking to a fabulous community of women.  They chose Col. 3:12-17  for their key verses and I had the task of sharing about God and His transforming work.  Even the process of getting to the retreat was evidence of God at work: our one car had to be in the shop and I was without transportation.  One of the lovely women from my own church community graciously offered me their car for the trip. God is in the details people.

The photo above was taken Sunday morning, after my offerings of 4 talks centered on the chosen passage.  What a gift this early morning was.  How does this tie into Batterson’s book. you ask?  In his book he encourages, well challenges, Christ followers to trust God in bigger ways.  For me the immediate trust was what He wanted me to say of my life’s brokenness to demonstrate His transformation power to these women.

It was hard to walk back through dark places.  It was emotionally painful for me.  But it was what God called me to.

When the sun rose on Sunday morning I was up.  And when I went outside, seeing the sight above, I heard an unusual bird calling.  And I looked over and saw…

A Canadian goose and her gander.  They had stopped off on their way back north.  I wept.  Following the Wild Goose this weekend, women were encouraged in Christ’s work in their lives.  I was humbled to have been a part.

I want to follow this Wild Goose wherever He leads!

 



 

Vision

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When you are starting to build something from random pieces, the only thing that will guide your hands is vision.  You have to have a picture, an idea, a vision of what you are building to really make it happen.

Legos have step by step wordless directions.

Architects listen to customers and go to their drawing boards (well, now it’s computers) to draw out the picture of the customer’s ideas before the building begins.

God, who is the ultimate architect, had vision for this Creation.  He has vision for you, too.

I have the privilege of speaking at a women’s retreat this weekend. I appreciate prayer.  The architects of the retreat have a plan. They cast the vision for me.  They gave me the outline.  Today the vision will become reality.  I’m really excited and privileged to be with these women whom I have not yet met.  Their hearts for God, their desire for community, inspire me.

Have you ever thought about what God’s vision is for you?  Next week I am going to share a vision for the future, your future, and I will invite you to join me in making reality.  Intrigued?  I hope so!

Check back next week!

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