Learning Along The Way

Monday Motivation: Meditation to Action

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It’s Monday. I’m facing it down and showing up. I’m also choosing to find motivation from my meditations. In my mind this is where the rubber meets the road, where my feet walk out what my heart is leaning toward. My attitude and action are under my control. For a recovering Control Freak that is an important awareness. I do have control over some things!!

Our attitudes are our choices.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

We can choose how we respond to any given situation. We have control of our response. We also have control of our thoughts. You may struggle with “monkey mind” like I do as an Enneagram 7 but even our thoughts can be captured and wrangled into submission. In coaching we talk a lot about mindset. It’s not touchy-feely, it’s neurobiology-a field of science that studies how our brain works, learns, how our feelings impact brain function, and so much more!

You don’t have to stay stuck in a rut in your thought pattern. You have the power to choose.

Let’s use a fairly common internal dialogue as an example: You make a mistake with someone’s name. In your thoughts you tell yourself a story about your memory. It’s not a nice way to talk to anyone, but you call yourself a name and pair it with how your memory works. You have just created a neuropathway about your ability to remember names.

Guess what? Your brain looks for connections to string thoughts together in order for the brain to work more efficiently. The pathway gets strengthened every time you tell yourself that story. This is how your thoughts get formed and you get in a rut of stinking thinking.

How can you change that pattern?

Step 1: Pay Attention. Listen to the way you think about a circumstance.

Step 2: Stop it!

Photo by Luke van Zyl on Unsplash

The moment you recognize you’ve had a repeat thought that you want to change, you stop, acknowledge the negative thought as the “old way” of thinking.

Step 3: Immediately tell yourself the new Truth you want to replace the old thought with. It’s helpful to actually say it aloud if your circumstances allow.

Ancient wisdom tells us much about our thoughts. We can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We can let our minds dwell or camp on Truth not on lies.

I’ve been sharing my meditations on Matthew 11:28-30 on Wednesdays this month. You can read the past ones here and here. There is ongoing benefit to meditation with your brain function too, but I won’t overload you with neuroscience! Just know that there are a multitude of benefits for meditating on God’s Word, one of them being transformation.

As a coach, I’m all about transformation. I’m pretty sure that’s aligned with God’s heart for us since we’re called to grow in Christ-likeness. Learning how to let go of thoughts and habits that keep us from being all we can be, learning to lean in with Jesus is worthy life work.

Let’s make meditation transfer to action. If you have questions about what the process of coaching with me is like, let me know. I’m happy to address your questions here or any of the other places you can find me: online or on the phone!

Learn a new Way. Take a step forward. Reach out for help & accountability.

 

Sharing is Caring: Sound Advice

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Slowing the pace of life to learn the unforced rhythms of grace is a challenge in every season. Click To Tweet

I think we need all the help we can get to develop habits that reflect our time spent in quiet.

That’s why I’m excited to share about the work of Alan & Gem Fadling. They have a podcast called  Unhurried Living.

These are their words of explanation:

Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. Unhurried Living provides resources and training to help people learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. Great influence begins on the inside, in your soul. Learning healthy patterns of rest and work can transform your life–your daily influence. 

I don’t even remember how I came across their work but when I did I knew I had found a place to breathe, to hear wisdom for life and learn a few things along the Way.

This is a feeble screen shot of my Stitcher account so you could see the artwork to look for when you search for them.

Of course, you can always go to their website  Alan and Gem have developed so many quality resources for developing habits that give your soul room to breathe.

One of my favorite episodes is a very practical place to drop in if you’re a first time listener to Unhurried Living. It’s called 9 Practical Challenges to Living Less Hurried 

It was comforting to know that I’m not the only one who has had (and continues to have) challenges in developing spiritual practices.

I hope you’ll check them out; let me know what you think!

It’s Fri-Yay!!

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It’s nearly quitting time on Friday afternoon. At least it would be if I worked a regular job. To be honest, there’s very little regular about me; even when I did work for a regular paycheck I didn’t do my work in a regular way.

In fact, I don’t think like a regular person. I’m far too out of the box and I’m pretty sure God is delighted with the way He’s made me. (see Ps. 139)

I am an Enthusiast. I’ve been in hiding thanks to many hard things in life, but God has brought me back to center. And it’s been a crazy journey of unlearning and re-learning along the Way!

One of the many learnings over the recent part of this journey has been learning to see God’s handiwork in creation with eyes of faith.

I’ve begun keeping an eye out for how God surprises me with reminders of His love. As often as possible I take pictures of the heart shape that appears in random, unexpected places.

This morning’s raspberry on my Rice Chex

The coffee sludge that I rinsed out and set aside to wash later.

The leaf along the path

These are so fun to find!

I’m wondering if you have seen random heart shapes around in your days? Do you notice?

One of the best outcomes of this part of my journey has been the practice of contemplation. Becoming contemplative is the result of spiritual practices of silence and solitude. I ran from those two words for most of my life! I told myself, “ain’t nobody got time to sit still.”

For two decades Silence was filled with the wonderful noise of family. The only silence I found was early before anyone got up. I tried to do that daily, to fill my mind & soul with God’s Word and what Oswald Chambers had to say each day. Those quiet times set the foundation for my soul; they weren’t long times, maybe 30 minutes. But I shudder to think what life would have been like for me when I lost both my parents suddenly, had I not already had the foundation of my soul built on God.

Solitude was thrust upon me when we moved. All the new was overwhelming and I reeled at the disorientation. I struggled with the compounding losses: parents, home, roles, familiar places; everything that had been regular was gone. Solitude became my familiar place. It was hard for awhile, lonely at times, but Solitude is one of the greatest gifts because I learned I am never truly alone.

Now, ten years later, I can spend hours in silence and solitude and not lose my mind. (that actually may have happened long ago, but I digress) Instead of going nuts, I have learned to listen and to see. These are gifts from the Giver of all good gifts.

In this month of personal challenge to

I’d love to have you join in. Keep an eye out for heart shapes in random places. Notice God’s handiwork, like sunrises, sunsets, cloud formations, the smiles of children, birds singing, whatever.

Let’s collect them and share them.

 

Sabbath Reflections

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Have you ever signed up for being critiqued? You said to yourself, “I want to get better at ______; so I am going to ask others to tell me how I can improve.” Have you done that with someone who is a professional in the area you want to improve?

I get a sick stomach ache when I think about it.

I did that. I attended a Writers’ Bootcamp in 2016 and asked for critique of my writing. I submitted myself to another’s examination and judgment. What I found was not only helpful but encouraging.

That person has included me as part of his launch team for his soon to release book, Learning to Speak God from Scratch.

His work is a thoughtful examination of words that have been deemed sacred in various religious practices and have become words tossed about without the sacrosanct respect said words deserve.

Sabbath is one of those words for me.

I grew up in the ‘Chr-easter’ tradition: parents who attended church as children without developing much faith around the practice of going to church, and who chose to raise their own children with knowledge of the two “important” Christian holidays of Christmas and Easter. I heard the important stories of God and Jesus, but missed the why of value in knowing about them.

Head versus Heart. Religion versus Faith.

I came to faith in Christ at 23 after a lot of searching for love in all the wrong places. I was standing outside at Aztec Center near midnight, sweeping the patio and emptying trash cans; the duties of a night job I had while I was pursuing my teaching credential. I stood silent on a cold February night looking up at the stars and simply asked, “If you’re real God, would you let me know?”

The response was equally silent but immediate: two stars that were parallel and looked liked eyes looking at me, twinkled. And my heart expanded and I believed. That was it.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. The exact date? Nope. But the fact that I asked for a sign and got a response was enough to convince me.

The people I knew who were Christians also practiced a literal religion; do what was spelled out in the Bible and all of life will go well.

I’ve never been very good at following people’s rules; I wonder, what about all the other possible responses? Click To Tweet

Learning to love Sabbath was one of those to-dos.

Where are you with practicing Sabbath?

Is it a burden? A religious convention meant for others to follow? An old-fashioned word that has little meaning in today’s immediate-oriented and production-driven culture?

My learning along the Way has shown me Sabbath is a gift of rest.

I tried to make it a ritual and hated it. I prepped all the meals the day before, I made sure all the clothes were ready for church the next day, I ran myself ragged in order to rest. I wanted Sabbath to be a wonderful practice but how I was approaching it wasn’t working. When I recognized it to be something to help me slow down, to notice God at work and take time to re-create, the meaning of Sabbath was transformed for me.

In my month of Showing Up I am trying to put into practice things I’ve attempted and dropped at various points in life. I invite you to join me in this week’s challenge. I’m going to sort through ideas and stuff to begin getting rid of what doesn’t fit anymore.  What ideas, what stories, what things, don’t work in this season of life?

The stories I tell myself, the items I hang on to, the clothes that I keep for that ‘someday’ are all going to be critiqued and evaluated; looking for what is valued, deemed worthy of keeping and what needs to be given away.

Practicing Sabbath rest has given me room for reflecting on what is important and what is no longer of value for me.

Are you willing to take inventory? Have you already made this a practice in your life? I’d love to hear how practicing Sabbath rest has opened up your awareness.

Do You Know What You Know?

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Monday.

Somehow this poor day of the week has gotten a bad rep. Can we pin the bad rep on the  ’86 Bangles hit Manic Monday?

Photo by Rob Bye on Unsplash

I don’t think so. A quick search turns up decades more negative associations with Mondays; the beginning of the work week seems to be the culprit.

What if we shift our mindset from ‘bummer in the summer’ on Mondays to a more upbeat, positive spin?

What if over the next month we daily decide to think differently about something rather than let our brain shift to neutral and simply play the default response pattern?

I love learning. I’m wired like that. I know not everyone is and I don’t want to lose you here but if you can bear with me for just a moment, I have a good point to make and science and faith practices to back it up.

It’s said that our minds are the center of our functions as human beings. So if we change our thought patterns, we change our beliefs, which in turn shapes our actions. Neurobiology is showing that as we have a thought, a neuron fires looking for a connection point to continue moving the thought forward. As we think we develop neuro-pathways. When we think the same thought more than once, that pathway is reinforced. Think it multiple times a day and we develop a deep groove in our brains. This process is how we memorize, how we bond with loved ones, how we learn to drive, how we form opinions and so it goes.

If we don’t like the way we feel about something, we can change our thoughts about that and our feelings will follow. Sounds simple, right?

Because of what we have learned about how the brain works, shifting a mindset is a long process of repetition that must be done with awareness and intention.

In other words, one decision does not change one behavior.

Bummer. I’m always on the look out for easy, aren’t you?

Back to Mondays. I used to think Mondays were the worst. I dreaded the beginning of the week because it was work. And work meant hard, repetitive, boring drudgery. No wonder I didn’t like Mondays! Is this you?

Do you know what you know? Are you intentional in your thoughts, plans and actions? Click To Tweet

I began shifting my mindset about Mondays before I had learned anything about the science of change. I made some conscious choices to prepare for Monday on Friday before I left work. I created a habit of closing out the work week by preparing to come back Monday morning with as many tasks ready to begin as possible, minimizing the jolt of hitting the ground running on Monday morning.

Some people might label that perfectionist. As a Enneagram 7, the Enthusiast, my stretch line goes to 1 which is called the Perfectionist or Reformer. I had to learn to be consistent and disciplined like that; it’s not a dysfunction unless you HAVE TO HAVE things just so. Side note: do you know your Enneagram core type? I coach using the lens of the Enneagram so if you want to know more, let me know!

Here is my Monday yellow notepad motivation for us all:

Deciding isn’t the hard part.

Follow through is the challenge for me. What about you?

Summer Fun!

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I’ve been quiet on the blog for quite awhile. I’m such a word nerd; I love using quiet and quite in the same sentence. They gave me fits as a student, but I digress.

There was a protracted season of my life that was very hard (think grief, loss, ugly crying) whose good intent was to develop stillness. Like a child on a time out chair or one who has a secret, I didn’t sit still well. The season necessarily was extended until the stillness settled down, seeping into my soul. This became my way of being. A beautiful gift that was uninvited, undeserved and definitely rejected before being accepted.

I grew so enamored with the stillness that I withdrew from people in order to be quiet, to read, pray, and reflect. But like the Dead Sea which is dead because there is no outflow of water, I was stagnating in my own stillness. Not a pretty picture.

I sought outlets to serve; places to encourage, engage, uplift. There were glimmers of response but nothing shone bright enough to hold my attention. I was used to being alone now, had I lost how to be with people? Not this extrovert! I had lost my sense of place. I got quiet outside of myself because I began to believe a lie: I was not needed. My age & stage was sidelining me. Somehow I began to believe I was to grow content with looking at life in the review mirror rather than out ahead through the forward facing windshield.

I tell you these things that have made me sigh for months to set the stage for why I’m speaking up now.

As I’ve turned my face forward I’ve realized that I have a lot of ideas. I have a lot of connection points I’ve seen through this season, connections that are meant for others, not just me. I’m eager to share, to encourage, to point out resources, to create!

My raison d’être will be revealed through my words. I want you to be a part of the fun of discovery!

Here are my plans for the next 31 days.

Share

Have fun

Observe the World

Write Daily

Unpack big ideas

Post fun and engaging stuff here.

In other words: SHOW UP

 

I invite you to engage here and all the Social Media places. We’re going to have fun learning along the Way.

How Do You RSVP to This Invitation?

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(photo credit: Glenn Carstens Peters via unsplash)

When I discovered this photo a tonic chord resounded in my soul. I saw it and sighed. There is such peace, such calm, a connection with the land, provision & possibility, I knew I needed to make use of it.

I spent the summer meditating and digging into three verses from the gospel of Matthew. This passage is often quoted and for good reason. It holds a beautiful invitation into this With God life:

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Simply the first 3 words of Matthew 11:28-30. And yet there is no simplicity in the RSVP to this invitation.

In an RSVP we either say Yes or we say No.

Yes I will Come to You Jesus. I will come in the morning and hang out with You in silence with my coffee. Yes I will come to You when I drive on the freeway or when I take the kids to school or on my run or as I do dishes, laundry, answer email, wipe noses, change diapers, clean the house, whatever.

OR

No I can’t come to You Jesus. I’m too busy. I’ve got to take care of all the things before I can consider sitting down to read my Bible.

This invitation isn’t the Salvation invitation. This is the How You Live Your Day Invitation.

Theology calls it Sanctification.

How do You RSVP to this invitation?

If you’re anything like me, the answer changes moment by moment. Sometimes Yes Sometimes No I’m off doing my own thing.

I pray that I am more like Jesus today than I was yesterday and that I will become more like Him tomorrow than I am today. But I am easily distracted. In fact, I am convinced that I can distract myself! I don’t need anyone else to do that for me.

I desire to be saying a sincere Yes to this beautiful, simple and yet incredibly challenging invitation.

How do You RSVP to this invitation?

Speaking of invitations, I am taking the #Write31Days challenge again. This year I am writing daily over at Lisa Lewis Coaching. I’d love to have you visit and of course, share your thoughts.

 

What 10 Essentials Will Reduce Your Stress Level?

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Is it possible to pare down your daily preparation to only 10 essentials?

Do you believe that 10 Essential items will reduce stress?

Not only is it possible, it happens. Read on. My list and rationale may intrigue you.

School is starting again in the US. How does that affect you? Are you a parent breathing a sigh of relief? Thankful for the teachers taking the baton of your children’s education; keeping them busy for 6.5 hours Monday – Friday until next June?

box of crayons

(photo: Rebecca Pierce via http://unsplash)

Or are you someone who is inconvenienced by traffic in your neighborhood with  parents dropping off or picking up at school?

children looking at phone

(photo: Sarah Gundersen via http://unsplash)

Praying for those professionals who commit their careers to educating the littles and impacting the future is an essential. They need prayers of many. I know. I was one of them.

I still frame my year with August as the beginning, gearing up with new routines, readying for a new schedule and habits. How about you? What are you looking forward to as the present season of summer wanes and autumn comes upon us? How are you preparing for the next part of your journey?

A photo by Samantha Sophia. unsplash.com/photos/NaWKMlp3tVs

(photo: Samantha Sophia via http://unsplash)

Preparation comes in big and little ways. When our boys were little we had a “launch pad” for each of them near the front door; their place for backpacks filled with completed homework, their sharing item and lunch. It was the easy way for them to learn to prepare for the day.

By the time they were in middle school they had developed the personal habit of planning ahead. Being in Scouts helped a lot, too.

This is the official list of 10 Essentials to Be Prepared as a Boy Scout. Maybe you haven’t heard of this list before; our home had two Scouts and a Scoutmaster so the 10 Essentials became a natural way to pack for any trip, short or long. Their many weekend trips shaped great habits of preparing for their journeys.

Map and Compass

Sun Protection

Extra Clothing

Flashlight

First-Aid Kit

Matches and Fire-starters

Pocketknife

Trail Food

Filled Water Bottle

Rain Gear

You may not be packing to go on a hike every day, but I believe there are 10 Essentials that will help us be prepared daily for what comes our way. I submit that preparation reduces stress levels.

I created my 10 essentials list by counting physical and spiritual items. These may already be a part of your daily preparation list. Perhaps you have others.

Here’s my list:

Lighting a 3 wick candle and saying good morning to Father, Son, and Holy Spirit

Time in silence with God

Coffee with half and half

Reading a one page devotional (Jesus Calling or My Utmost for His Highest or both)

Praying for my husband, my family, and my day ( a good time to pray for those teachers!)

Lip Gloss for my Smile

Wallet & Keys

Sunglasses

Water bottle

Phone

The first 5 items on my list can take as little as 15 minutes in the morning and up to an hour if I have the time. The time I invest packing the first 5 items impacts the rest of my day. All day. The second 5 items might feel like obvious inclusions, yet daily I hear people say: “I don’t have my id”, or “where are my sunglasses?”,  or “I forgot my phone in the car”. Those items seem to elude their daily packing.

Having all 10 items reduces my stress. No matter what else happens, taking time early to remind myself of God’s Presence and sovereignty helps me throughout the day.

The final item on my 10 Essentials list may induce stress but that’s a different story! We’ve become a connected culture and a phone is a part of how life works now.

What items are on your daily essentials list? How do you reduce stress daily?

Practicing Sabbath During Lent

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Beauty in the weeds.

It’s in simplicity that we learn to appreciate small things. Slowing down, really seeing what is around us, paying attention; these are elements that can become a part of our daily life with practice.

Practice implies doing something more than once; doing something imperfectly, but doing something with the hope of improving.

Practicing Sabbath during Lent is going to challenge me. I’ve fallen into a rhythm that uses Sunday afternoon as a “get caught up” time rather than a time of slowing down and paying attention.

What needs attention? The house, bills, laundry, groceries all call for attention. Quietly though, I begin to feel something else needs attention. My soul. I start to feel stretched when there has been too much going; too much serving; too much doing; too much listening to others. Without refilling I have nothing of value to give. My soul needs rest from all these things. My hope is that by practicing Sabbath during Lent this draining rhythm will reset.

“The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath.” Mark 2:27

God instituted rest for our good. We’re the ones who think we must fill the days with busyness. We fill and over-fill our calendars and keep going beyond what we’re really able. And our souls dry up from the drought; a lack of watering will cause all living things to suffer.

 

spiritual disciplines

Reading. Reflecting. Resting. Refilling. Reset.

Practicing Sabbath.

I may just see beauty in the weeds of life…

 

 

 

40 Days of Learning to Let Go & Lean In

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Quiet chords from the organ float through the air as I sit staring at the huge wooden cross at the front of the sanctuary. It is indeed a sanctuary; no loud voices or even footsteps confront my thoughts. I study the 13 pieces of rectangular turquoise glass that allow light to filter through from behind the cross. I wonder why 13?

The light outside is fading; the west facing windows are darkening their stained glass images fading. I wonder about a lot of things on this evening of Ash Wednesday.  Candles on the altar are lit and someone slowly brings the dimly lit sanctuary into more full light. We’re told to open our Wesleyan hymnals to And Can It Be?  My ten year old perspective on faith is youthful and full of questions: why did Jesus die? And why for me?

Today marks 48 more trips around the sun since that evening long ago. I haven’t always marked Ash Wednesday with questions and reflection but this year 2016 I want to be intentional and ask questions.

Perhaps you have asked them too?

The season of Lent begins with Ash Wednesday, a day of remembrance and confession. We remember what Christ came to do and has accomplished on the Cross in our place. We confess the many reasons that awful punishment was meant for each of us; but because of mercy and love we receive grace instead.  Some fellowships will mark the foreheads of believers with a Cross of ashes (usually from the burning of last year’s Palm Sunday palms) as a remembrance that our physical body will undergo death and decay while our soul will live on with God.

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior’s blood?

Died He for me, who caused His pain—

For me, who Him to death pursued?

Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Let’s spend the next 40 days Learning to Let Go of so much…pre-conceived notions and mindsets; old hurts; unforgiveness; physical items that don’t bring joy; you name it!  Let’s spend the next 40 days Learning to Lean In… toward the freedom offered us as we respond to God’s Word-Jesus and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

I’m going to present a daily challenge, a new way of being perhaps, for each of us to practice.  They will be fun, creative and will hopefully draw you closer to Jesus.  Lent isn’t intended to be an add on to your full life; it’s intent is to bring your awareness of God more regularly in view within your regular life. Pretty regular, eh?

So here’s a regular challenge: look around you right now. What is one item in your view that you can see that reminds you of an act not yet taken care of?  Confess it. What is another item in your view that brings a smile to your face? Who can you thank for it?

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