In Quietness & Trust

In the pre-dawn light all is gray and still. Waking up before the birds begin to sing is not the norm for me but this new Saturday routine requires early rising. The air is crisp, speaking of the changing season.

It’s my idea to get up this early; the Hubster would have been content to sleep. But after all this writing about tandem cycling I want to get on the bike. But today I want to ride my own road bike. Like most things that have an early morning start it’s best to get everything set out the night before. The Hubster had taken care of the bike pre-checks last night but I neglected all the pre-ride prep until this morning and that made us late.

Late for what?

I had it in my head we would ride early enough to not have to deal with many people, either on bikes or in cars. But as the water flowed into the Camelbak I saw the clock and an internal chatter began. Harsh words were being thrown at me by the Internal Critic. It seemed every step I took I made a mistake or forgot I needed to do one more thing before we left.  I was getting more and more agitated internally and it was leaking out in my actions and distracting me.

Meanwhile, the Hubster is doing his pre-ride prep without any issues; he graciously starts helping me with mine. No harsh words, no impatience, no sighing from him. He’s happy we’re going out on our bikes!

Once we get out the door, the voice of the Internal Critic gets louder. I have a shifting system that requires coasting when shifting gears. If I do pedal while shifting, the chain can get messed up. Well guess what I just did? So the criticism gets louder and is nearly deafening and nearly every ounce of fun drains out of my experience.

But among the loud noise in my head a still small voice whispers to me.

In quietness & trust is your strength.

I literally said “What?” out loud. The Hubster is far enough ahead he didn’t hear me thankfully. The whisper is clearer.

In quietness & trust is your strength.

Thank You Lord. Your reminder is perfectly timed. I sigh. And relax. And pedal.