Learning to Ask for Help

Is it easy for you? To ask for help I mean.

It’s not easy for me.

I was brought up with the mindset that you take care of yourself.  It’s great to help others but not great to need help.

Sayings like

“God helps those who help themselves.”

(Not in the Bible. Therefore, not Biblical.)

Or the American West adage: “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps”  were often repeated by adults in my hearing.

Sometimes it’s good for me to remember not all sayings are valuable all the time. (although this ME illustration might always be helpful!)

An early memory of what to expect when I was needy: sometime between the ages of 4 and 7 I fell down and skinned both my knees really badly.  My mom was busy dealing with my younger brother (who was 4 years younger than me) and she told me that the Bactine and Band aids were in the bathroom.  I remember thinking two things: I was supposed to take care of stuff myself and my mom liked my brother better. (irrational thinking but an imprint nonetheless)

So each time I have needed the help of others in my life (which have been many) I have to battle the internal dialog telling me the wrong things about the fact that I need help.

Anybody else?  Raise your hand! (Or let me know in the comments.)

Truth is we all need help. And asking others to help invites real connection. If I’m honest with what I am dealing with, my honesty gives you permission to be honest with others, too. That’s a good thing.

So here goes: I need your help.  I actually really want your help.  I’m not just saying this.

I have been working on three different writing projects for awhile now and have come to the place where I want to step forward to complete one.  What a novel concept! Finish what you start? Who would have thought that has value? (heavy sarcasm here)

Here are the 3 projects: a memoir using sea glass as the metaphor; a devotional using gardening as the metaphor; a Bible study of Romans 12.

I want to know what you would like to read. I need to hear from you.

I plan to integrate my blog posts as part of my focus on one writing project.  Your help in getting me to focus will be greatly appreciated.

Here’s how you can help specifically:

1. Take this private survey to help me know what you like to read.  No one but me will see the answers and the results come to me anonymously.

2. Write a comment at the end of this post. Tell me which idea you like best: sea glass; gardening or Bible study.  Again, if you tell me please don’t publish your comment I won’t.

3. Connect with me through email lisa@learningalongtheway.com

4. Leave a comment on the facebook page.

I am thankful for each one of you who read this blog. No matter where you live. Thank you.

I am learning to ask for help. Won’t you take a few minutes?