I’ve been quiet on the blog for quite awhile. I’m such a word nerd; I love using quiet and quite in the same sentence. They gave me fits as a student, but I digress.
There was a protracted season of my life that was very hard (think grief, loss, ugly crying) whose good intent was to develop stillness. Like a child on a time out chair or one who has a secret, I didn’t sit still well. The season necessarily was extended until the stillness settled down, seeping into my soul. This became my way of being. A beautiful gift that was uninvited, undeserved and definitely rejected before being accepted.
I grew so enamored with the stillness that I withdrew from people in order to be quiet, to read, pray, and reflect. But like the Dead Sea which is dead because there is no outflow of water, I was stagnating in my own stillness. Not a pretty picture.
I sought outlets to serve; places to encourage, engage, uplift. There were glimmers of response but nothing shone bright enough to hold my attention. I was used to being alone now, had I lost how to be with people? Not this extrovert! I had lost my sense of place. I got quiet outside of myself because I began to believe a lie: I was not needed. My age & stage was sidelining me. Somehow I began to believe I was to grow content with looking at life in the review mirror rather than out ahead through the forward facing windshield.
I tell you these things that have made me sigh for months to set the stage for why I’m speaking up now.
As I’ve turned my face forward I’ve realized that I have a lot of ideas. I have a lot of connection points I’ve seen through this season, connections that are meant for others, not just me. I’m eager to share, to encourage, to point out resources, to create!
My raison d’être will be revealed through my words. I want you to be a part of the fun of discovery!
Here are my plans for the next 31 days.
Share
Have fun
Observe the World
Write Daily
Unpack big ideas
Post fun and engaging stuff here.
In other words: SHOW UP
I invite you to engage here and all the Social Media places. We’re going to have fun learning along the Way.
Not as eloquently, and I’m not an extrovert, but I could write a similar story of myself and the last year or so. I would like to move forward so I look forward to reading more .
Moving forward is great Elaine, eloquent or not! I remind myself to have grace for the effort to change because it’s all a process not a destination. Yay for your story of change and growth! Looking forward together, Lisa
Oh. My .Goodness. You have just revealed where I am in life right now. Recently, I decided to step back from blogging. We are facing a new part of life and, honestly, it’s leaving me feeling not needed. I also know that’s not the truth. But some days the weight of that feeling is too hard to carry without a few tears. It’s no coincidence your post showed up in my inbox today. I’ll show up with you, Lisa.
Isn’t this season of life crazy-making sometimes, Debby? We want to listen well, follow closely on the path He leads us on and sometimes I lift my eyes from the path, look around and am confused by my surroundings. Or emotions. Or what isn’t a part of life now. And yet, we’ve learned to Trust even when our circumstances don’t make sense. Let’s be like Aaron and Hur holding up Moses arms; encouraging each other as we continue to learn along the Way. Thanks for showing up!
So I’m in a place where I don’t know what’s next. These last four years have been occupied by me watching my grandson. He could be going to preschool full-time and I won’t know what to do with myself. Dan said we’re okay if I don’t get a job, but then I can’t do any shopping. Eek!? So I’ve been trying to think of where to get a job or another way to make some money. I’ll at least do some volunteer work because if I don’t, I might go crazy staying at home. Maybe start up my blog again. Then again, I may have one more school year to watch him. Then he’ll be going to Kindergarten next year. Which will be another decision-making time of whether to move closer to Liz so I don’t have to drive the 405 for after-school stuff. Anyway, it’s good to see you back, though I wish we still lived close. Hugs
I feel your uncertainty, Robbin. Not having a clear path forward is challenging; learning to be ok with what we don’t know and trusting God with His knowing is the biggest challenge of life in my opinion! Isn’t it just so loving of Him to give us choice? We can choose from so many different options. Thanks for sharing your process; I’ll join you in praying for wisdom & discernment. He will give that to you! Wish I could do this in person! XOXO, Lisa