Learning Along The Way

Are You Hanging onto Fear?

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Two days this week I came to the computer with ideas about being brave and found I had nothing to say. I was stuck. I told myself its ok come back later, but of course, later never came. I didn’t guard time to write, so time wasn’t there.

I wrestled with why I challenged myself to work through this devotional 100 Days to Brave? I questioned my sanity, my purpose, my raison d’ etre (five years of studying French peeks out on occasion)

I came to an existential crisis point. Why do I want to tell you to let go of what’s holding you back and lean into the unique creation you are? Why do I want to encourage you to be brave, to learn what that looks like in your life, to take a first step?

I want to help women connect with the passions God has placed in them for their good, for other’s good, and most of all, for God’s glory. Click To Tweet

I have been hanging onto fear. Fear that no one will care about this message. Fear that these words go no where, that writing and speaking this message is a waste of time and money. Fear that I’m not listening to God’s Word accurately and I’m doing this for my own selfish gain. Fear of resistance, of ridicule, of rejection.

Getting honest about fear is a bit scary; as I continue to learn about myself through the lens of the Enneagram, it makes more sense why I get scared. At my core, I don’t want to feel pain. I want to have fun. I avoid conflict because conflict is painful and looking at the underside of my emotions is hard work.

But God.

My two favorite words in Scripture. Best search I ever worked through; try it.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I came to my time with Him this morning without an agenda. I simply wanted to sit in His Presence and have coffee with Jesus. After I read the portions of Scripture in my Bible reading plan, I read today’s entry for Jesus Calling. 

Take time to be still in My Presence. The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always proffer to you.

I got comfortable in my chair, held my warm cup of coffee and sat quietly looking outside through the sliding glass door into our garden space. I watched the changing morning light illumine the persimmon tree in our neighbor’s yard, the orange-red fruit standing out against the green leaves. I noticed a finch search the feeder for just the right seed. What caught my attention was a hummingbird lighting on the bubbling water feature. It dipped its beak into the water hovering slightly above the water spilling over the slick turquoise orb, then all of a sudden, the hummingbird sat in the center of the bubbler and began to take a bath.

The freedom, the enthusiasm, the fearlessness all spoke to me in the hummingbird’s hesitation, then the jumping in. As I watched, these lyrics crept up to my consciousness

So let go my soul and trust in Him

And just like the shifting morning light, the awareness of my fears paled in the Light of this phrase.

So let go my soul and trust in Him

I was being invited forward. Come, Further up and Further in.

The invitation is for you too, my friend.

I see your face in my mind; your eyes rimmed with tears you’re blinking back; your brave smile trembling.

He is for you, just like He’s for me. God wants His daughters to walk in freedom; to be able to live as He has designed each of us; moment by moment learning from Him the unforced rhythms of grace.

The invitation to Come to Me isn’t a one time invitation. Jesus invites us again and again and again. You might take your eyes off of Him for a myriad of reasons; Come to Me remains the same, simple invitation. 

Learn from Me, watch how I do it. 

I’ve been hanging on to fear. I’ve been clinging to things that have weighed me down, hindering me from the life purpose God has given me. 

Right now, I’m choosing to be brave, to share my inner struggles to help you see you’re not alone in yours. The beauty is the precious invitation to Come is whispering at the edge of your conscious thought; listen and respond.

Let go and lean in.

You won’t regret it.

Perhaps you’re wondering how to get started? Or how to get back?  

Call a friend. Message me. Comment below (I read them before they get published so if you don’t want your comment published, tell me.) 

Bravely take the first step.

I leave you with this beautiful offering. Enjoy.

It is Well 

How Do We Learn to Speak Truth to Lies?

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There’s a joke told among musicians and performers who aspired to the stage of the world renown venue Carnegie Hall:

“ How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, Practice, Practice.”

This is no joke when we consider how we learn to speak Truth to lies.

We must know what the Truth is. And then we practice, practice, practice.

In today’s entry in 100 Days to Brave, Annie recounts Jesus’ 40 Days in the wilderness and the temptations by the enemy. You may know this portion of scripture: Jesus is tempted three different times by Satan and in each temptation, of body, of power and of worship, Jesus speaks Truth to the lies presented Him.

Simple enough right? 

Know what the Truth is. Speak Truth to the lies we hear whispered in our ears. Repeat.

But wait! How do we know the Truth? 

This reminds me of what I was doing last weekend. Encouraging a group of women to search the scriptures to know if what they heard me saying to them was true. Like the people of Berea who were commended by Dr. Luke in Acts 17, we are to be “Berean” in the way we handle God’s Word. When Paul had to flee Thessalonica, he, Timothy and Silas came to the town of Berea and began teaching in the synagogue. The people of Berea began searching the scriptures to see if what they heard was True.

As Christ-followers it is our personal responsibility to know what scripture says. There are any number of teachers running around saying partial truths and claiming it is all truth. How do we know who to believe?

Search the scriptures. 

Where do you start? What tools are most helpful? What voices do you listen to? Isn’t there someone who can do all the work for me, so I can just do the things I want to do? What difference does it make anyway?

You may ask any of those questions. I’ve asked all of them at least one time in my faith walk. Asking questions is one of the best ways to learn! If someone tells you to stop asking questions, I’ll just say that person is either annoyed that you’re asking questions, or they’re trying to control you. Sorry that they’re annoyed. Don’t stop asking questions!

In this post-modern era, there are many people who choose to believe many different things about the Bible. I’m not a Bible scholar. I’m a Christ-follower who wants to learn from Jesus. For me to learn from Jesus, I need to read the Bible. So I do. A little every day. I read it a lot when I’m studying and preparing to encourage women from the Word.

A good place to start is to read the recount of Jesus’ life and ministry found in one of the first four books in what is called the New Testament. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are the names of the gospels. Pick one and start reading a little every day.

If you use your smart phone, YouVersion is an app that has many versions of the Bible and also has a lot of Bible reading plans if that is something you’d like to do.

this is the image you’ll find in your App Store

What tools are the best ones out there? I now use online resources to study. I used to have physical copies of Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, Treasury of Scripture Knowledge, Matthew Henry’s Commentary, and a copy of Nelson’s Bible Dictionary, but when we moved I donated a ton of books, hoping they would be a blessing to someone else. Blue Letter Bible is one of my favorite online resources for study and word origin references.

Bible reading and study isn’t something to offload. Here’s why: your soul is wired for connection with the One Who created you. Getting out into Creation and reading His Word are two tried and proven methods for learning what is True and being able to connect your soul with God.

How do all these things tie into being brave? Glad you asked!

It takes courage to realize you have a need. In this case the need is know the Truth. 

It takes courage to take a step to meet that need.

It takes courage to carve out the time to meet that need.

It takes courage to guard that time as a priority.

It takes courage to ask the questions of God; what do I need today? How can I grow more Christ-like?

It takes courage to begin to hide God’s Word in your heart. (Scripture memory is work people)

It takes courage to speak God’s Word to the lies that we hear whispered in our thoughts by the enemy of our soul.

Those are seven ways that learning what Truth is has impact on being brave.

Annie wisely suggests we combat lies with Truth through prayer. I’ll leave you with hers:

God, tell me the truth of who I am. I’m listening. I want to be free from the lies—do that for me. Rescue me. Bring truth like a waterfall.

What Inspires Courage in You?

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Happy First Friday in October!

I love autumn or fall, whichever you prefer to call it. The colors change, even in California. Certainly not as gloriously as other parts of the world but the crisping of the air, the change of the season inspires me.

I’m not sure why, but this time of year seems to carry me forward into doing new things instead of slowing down like the plants are doing as the temperature cools.

This fall, the new thing I am doing is recognizing the little ways I choose to be brave. I want to pay attention to the feelings of uncertainty, of fear, and instead of allowing those feelings to shape my thoughts and actions, I am choosing to take a brave step to deal with the issue at hand.

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave, by Annie F. Downs, her devotional published last October. Daily she talks about what brave is and invites the reader along on the journey to unlock your most courageous self. 

Today she spoke of courage. I love that word.  I am a word-nerd. True story: when I was a freshman in college, in my first semester, in the fall of 1975, I would go to the Library and read the Oxford English Dictionary of Word Origins. Maybe it felt safe to hang out where people were, even if I didn’t know them; a 17 year old kid who knew no one created a sense of belonging in the library. That is a story for another time.

I hung out in the library reading the OED of Word Origins not once or twice, but weekly for a couple of months. Not because I had a course requirement; I fell in love with knowing where words come from and a bit about how they came into being.

Courage is one of those words. Why did it stir in me a desire to stand up straight, square my shoulders and take a stand? There is a reason. It’s an awesome word!

The origin of courage is latin, the root is cor and it means heart. 

When you take courage, you are receiving strength of heart, of purpose, of meaning. 

 

Courage is similar to brave not only in meaning but also because we don’t think of ourselves as having courage or being brave in little ways. But somedays it takes courage to simply do the next thing. 

We need to be reminded. We need to be willing to ask God for courage and then to take a small step of courage to be strengthened to do the next thing. 

One step leads to the next. After a few courageous steps you may realize you’re stronger than you know. 

What’s most important is that we take that brave first step.

Why? to What? Asking Different Questions Matters

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I’m a curious person by nature. I remember getting in trouble for asking, “Why?” 

I still ask a lot of questions. How about you? See? Another question!

Now I get to ask questions in my work. As a coach, I listen, ask questions of my clients, and help them discover their next action step in work, life & faith. It’s the best career for a curious person.

So here’s my question for you: What was a recent brave thing you did?

Was it getting out of bed this morning to face a daunting to do list? Was it dealing with a difficult person at work? Or facing the fact that your parent is declining quicker than anyone was ready for?

Being brave doesn’t just mean dealing with BIG struggles. Being brave can come in quiet ways, too.

My most recent brave thing happened today.

Today is my birthday. You might think, ‘How did you have to be brave on your birthday?’ It starts with a memory.

When I was little I used to announce a countdown to my birthday, beginning two months ahead of the big day! I wanted to make sure EVERYONE knew my birthday was coming and just how old I was going to be. My Mom would make whatever flavor of birthday cake I wanted, even if I wanted two flavors. One year, my 9th birthday, she made a layer cake with one layer of chocolate and one layer of banana cake with whipped cream and fresh banana slices in between with chocolate frosting all around. That was amazing, and obviously memorable. 

I suspect she went out of her way that year because we had just moved to a new part of town and I was in a new school. My birthday comes only a month into the school year and as a new student, I hadn’t made friends to ask to a party. Sad. So my Mom went out of her way to make our family time special.

Even as I write this I’m tearing up because I realize how the past 11 birthdays have not been the same since my Mom & Dad died. I guess I try to be brave and cover over the sadness so I’m not a downer, but in reality, I miss them. 

We had a crazy, complicated, and dysfunctional family. But it was my family. I’ve supported the livelihoods of several counselors through the years (other brave stories) as I’ve worked through family of origin stuff, but they were still my family, and in spite of the crazy, I love them.

My brave act today was smiling through the sadness. 

I’m so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who took the day off so we could drive to the coast and walk on the beach. I am so fortunate to have two amazing sons who both called to wish me a Happy Birthday. I am so fortunate to have loving cousins who sent me cards and SO MANY LOVING FRIENDS who mailed cards, texted, or commented on social media, sharing loving thoughts. Such a great birthday!

I still ask the questions of God though.

Why?

Why did they have to die so young? Why was life so complicated? Why so much pain?

All the questions of a curious person.

I saw this planter at the retreat center I visited last weekend.

It’s on a beautiful prayer path with a sign post that poses a new Way to be brave:

Instead of asking Why in the face of pain, move to asking, What? 

What do you want to do through this situation? What can I learn? What can bring you glory in these hard circumstances?

Being brave may be a private act of trust; looking to God in spite of the sadness we face and placing our hope in the One who redeems all things, which includes our sadness.

What brave act have you experienced or witnessed? As Annie says in her book, 100 Days to Brave

When we see brave out in the world, it inspires us.

Share what inspires you. It just may help someone else to be brave, too.

What Comes to Mind When You Hear the Word Brave?

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What comes to mind when you hear the word Brave?

I’m working my way through 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. In today’s entry she encourages readers to journal about two or three incidents in your life that might be labeled brave.

I recently watched the Disney movie Brave with my 3 year old granddaughter, who also has curly red hair like the main character Merida.

We watched Merida be brave in several ways. She wanted to learn activities traditionally belonging to men like archery. She rode a horse. She fought for her family. None of these brave acts were the same. She was brave in big and little ways.

What about you? Does your definition of brave leave room for little acts of bravery or only big ones?

Sometimes being brave means admitting I have needs. Asking for help was deemed a sign of weakness, a ‘less than’ statement growing up. One of my early memories of having a need was coming into the house after I had fallen down skinning my knees to the point of bleeding (again) and having my mom tell me that the Bactine and bandaids were in the bathroom. I was seven. Now mind you I was a rough and tumble kid. She was probably tired of my superficial wounds. But her response stuck with me.

Childhood memories can become story starters for the way we look at things as an adult. Being brave is admitting the story we're telling ourselves may not be accurate. Click To Tweet

The story I told myself about my depression was not an encouraging one. My inner critic was a nonstop voice of self-recrimination looping through my thoughts. “What’s wrong with you?” was on an infinite loop in my head. I had a hard time focusing. A hard time finding joy. A hard time admitting I needed help.

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave. Today Annie wrote of her move from Georgia to Nashville, TN. She shared how hard the move was. A line from the page really resonated with me

I never felt brave. But day after day, I just did the next thing, took the next step, said the next yes.

I used to think that moving was a great adventure, that it was an opportunity to learn new things, meet new friends and have more fun. That was until we moved from our home of 15 years, emptying our nest and relocating all in a couple of months. I had no idea how hard it would be to make a new start in a new area. Nothing was familiar. Finding a grocery store became a chore; finding my way around became more than I wanted to face most days, so I slipped, ever so slowly, down the slope into depression.

It took several months before I admitted I needed help. Thankful for the internet I found a Christian counselor who has helped me work through my depression and other areas of emotional need that I had hidden away.

Maybe that’s you, suffering in silence. Maybe your brave act is to admit you have a need, to tell someone. That is no small act of bravery.

One of my favorite sayings is ‘Awareness is the first step to change’.

Remember what Annie said:

I never felt brave. But day after day, I just did the next thing, took the next step, said the next yes.

She also encourages her readers to think back on your life and journal about two or three moments you or someone else might label brave.

You’re more than welcome to tell me. No one sees the comments until I first read them, so if you want to share, but don’t want your comment posted, you can tell me and it won’t be.

Be brave my friend.

What Does Being Brave Even Look Like?

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Starting the morning with my familiar things around me gives me a sense of place, routine, comfort.

How about you?

It’s a challenge to get outside my comfort zone to go someplace or do something new.

New-ness can be exciting like when an order from Amazon arrives. But new-ness that requires something from me, that can be scary. If it’s scary then the challenge comes to be brave in the face of my fears and in spite of the pit in my stomach.

That’s never easy. But I can tell you something true: I’ve never been disappointed when I’ve let go of my fears and leaned in toward Jesus.

What does that even look like?

It might be saying yes to spending the weekend with mostly strangers, far away from home, sharing hard parts of your story to show that the surpassing power of overcoming, and growing, and healing, belongs to God and not to us.

In hopes of learning the Way to let go and lean in, after the wonderfully challenging and filling weekend away, yesterday I started reading a devotional book called 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. The subtitle says Devotions for Unlocking Your Most Courageous Self.

Doesn’t that sound promising?

Annie is sharing from her life and pointing her readers to the One who calls us forward, who gives us the strength and courage to be our authentic self in our circumstances.

Seeing other people be brave makes me want to be brave too. Annie F. Downs

Being authentic, without putting on a false “I’m okay” front, is hard. We fear what people think about us. Will they accept me? Will they reject me? Why does that matter?

It matters because God has created us with a desire for love and belonging. Anything that puts those two desires at risk is scary.

The blank page can be scary for a writer. But if this is the work I am called to do then this is the place I need to be brave. I know God wants me to tell my story so that you can be encouraged to be brave in yours, too.

What is the thing in life that scares you?

Whatever it is that is scary, God has already been there and knows how it’s all going to turn out.

I’m going to keep on this journey, learning to let go of fear and expectation and learning to lean in toward Jesus.

Want to join me on this journey of 100 Days to Brave?

I’d love the companionship!

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