Learning Along The Way

Of Change & Learning

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A great question and ponderous statement were posed to me the other day, one through a book and the other a tweet. Both are thoughts that have run through my head recently but now spoken, I see the opportunity to share reflections for others’ benefit.

 

The ponderous statement comes from the book “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa TerKeurst. At the end of chapter 3 she encourages the reader to respond to this statement: “Soon, saying yes to God will no longer be a discipline of your heart but rather the delight of your life.”

 

The great tweet question was sent out by Trisha Goyer asking: “How have you seen God’s renewing work in your life, and in your family, in the last year?”

 

My response to both Lysa and Trisha comes in the discipline of writing, not just thinking. Jeff Goins encourages in The Writers Manifesto: “It’s time to begin”.

 

Some events are milestones and some seem ordinary. Milestones are like the peaks of mountains; visible from great distance. Ordinary events, well, they’re ordinary. As crazy as our culture is we discard the ordinary and seek after mountaintop experiences.

 

I could list the mountaintop, milestone events of this past year for our family: two graduations, a wedding, job changes, moves, starting college. A full year in anyone’s life. Yet it’s not the milestones that have renewed me. I have learned to delight in the ordinary because that is where I live and meet with God.

 

My website and coaching business name express my view of life: learning along the Way. The ordinary events of life, moments really, are the stuff of holy wonder. A hummingbird hovering above nectar-filled flowers; a heart shaped rock on a sandy shore. The laughter of sons now grown. The sweet memory of little boy giggles (why can’t I see the keyboard right now?)

 

God is in both the milestone and ordinary events showing Himself in a variety of ways. I have learned acknowledging His Presence makes all circumstances extra-ordinary. In the day to day of laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep, yard work, working outside the home, family and friend relationships, and whatever else is in a day, hitting the pause button to say Thank You has been the take away of this year.

 

In fact, I will be so bold to say taking time to give thanks to God is His will for those who name His name.

 

There are many wonderful authors who are writing boldly, pointing to The Way, but one in particular has been used by God to transform and renew my mind this year, Ann Voskamp.  Her chronicles at aholyexperience.com consistently bring me to practical awareness of the hushed life with God moments that are every where. If you aren’t reading her writing you are missing out.

 

This year of saying Yes to God and His transforming work has brought big change in me and in our family: our moving out of our home and into destinations unknown to us has been a huge area of trusting Him moment by moment. I couldn’t have done any of this without the strong, solid foundation of knowing God through His Word and the testimonies of His children. That foundation has been built over decades of learning new choices and ways of being along the Way.

 

God is faithful. He is at work both in the world and in me to bring about His purposes. Do you know Him? Do you partner with the Creator for others’ good and His glory? If you do, please share what He’s up to in your part of the world. If you’re not sure about your answers, email me and let’s converse!

Spooner's Cove

Of Journals and Journeys

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This is the cover of my latest journal.  True confession: I am a journal junkie.  I love the varieties of textures, covers, and styles of spines; the lined, unlined, or graphed papers.  I like them small enough to travel well or book size for the year’s life progress.  I use journals to record thoughts and gather quotes; to write out my prayers and reflections on what God is showing me in His Word.  I have a journal to count gifts and a journal to keep work notes.  I have been journaling since I was a teen, but there’s not a diary format among the ones I have saved.  They chronicle the testament of the faithfulness of a good God who loves well and has been working through the circumstances of my life for my good and His glory.  My journals are one of the ways I measure change.

I recently took my dozen saved journals down from the shelf and packed them away in preparation for this part of life’s journey we’re on. It was good to see those covers again, knowing the season of life each one represents, and knowing the season is in the process of changing yet again.

This new journal has a specific purpose.  It’s my journal of reflections for an online Bible study I have joined.  I’ve never done this.  22,000 women have signed up to Say Yes to God through Proverbs 31 ministries.  I am privileged to be taking part in the study; to be reading this book at this time.  The cover of my journal is perfectly suited. Listen to this quote from the book What Happens When Women Say Yes to God:

“Outside our comfort zone is where we experience the true awesomeness of God.”

I can testify to the truth of that statement.

When I have my hands open and palms up, not clenched around the thing or attitude or “the way we have always done this” or (fill in the blank), then I’m able to receive what God has in mind.

Our comfort zone keeps us insulated from experiencing the awesomeness of God.

We had a stirring that God wanted us to make some changes in our life as this season of full time parenting came to a close.  We listened to the prayer requests of some young professional women and realized God wanted us to be part of His answer for them.  How awesome is that?  To be used by God in the lives of others?

We rented our home of 15 years before we had a place to move.  We trusted God with the next step.  He provided in the form of a temporary landing spot while a family traveled around the country this summer. 

We prayed for a new career move for my dear hubs. He applied; we waited. He interviewed; we waited.  My go to statement for this season has been: “What is unknown to us is not unknown to God.” We have been an anomaly to our friends; why we would pull up roots without a place to go or a plan or a clue has been beyond them.  It’s been beyond me too at times!  Which is why I’m calling this our Abraham Summer.

God called Abram from Haran (in modern day Turkey) to “Go forth from your country, And from your relatives And from your father’s house, To the land which I will show you;” and Abram went.  Out into the desert, on foot or on camel.  Over 400 miles.  We don’t see him asking questions.  He packed up his belongings and headed out to the land I will show you.  That’s faith. And that’s trust.  We don’t have much record of the development of Abram’s faith in God to that point; we know later that Abraham’s faith was reckoned as righteousness.

Trusting God as I move outside my comfort zone has been very challenging and yet very stabilizing in the midst of a lot of work and chaos that comes with sorting and cleaning and shedding stuff.  Those who walk with me have seen and shared my tears.  It is scary stepping out into unknown territory, leaving what is familiar to accept the Whatever of the future.

Lysa TerKeurst says the whole of Scriptural commands can be summed up in six words: Whatever God says do, do it.

Radical obedience.  That was what Abram, who God later called Abraham, did.  Why should we be any different?

The family of our temporary digs will be home in 4 days.  We will be off on the next part of the journey by then. 

Stay tuned.  There are more reflections from the road that will be forthcoming.

What has God called you to do that you’re hesitant to do?  What is one step of obedience you can take today?

How Do You Measure Change?

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A week ago I was in a different state. Not state of mind, although that is true too, but state in this country. All the way across the country from where I live. A day of flights, layovers and missed shuttle later and I was in a hotel with over 700 women gathering for what turned out to be an amazing 3 day conference:  She Speaks.  There were fabulous speakers, Lysa TerKeurst, Michael Hyatt, Holley Gerth, to give you an idea, and so much learning that I am still processing it all a week later!

Which brings me to the question, How do you measure change?  How do you recognize when something is different when it seems change happens subtly?

The change you’re experiencing may come in seconds like a set of waves at the edge of the ocean.

You may be caught off guard, the change comes and you get wet since you weren’t paying attention.

Or change may happen so slowly that you’re not sure what’s different, you just know something is.

Keep an eye on the shape of this creek…

There is a difference of a week between these two shots. Intense power redirected the path of this creek that leads into the vastness of the ocean. In.one.week.

The week before the creek was winding its way to its goal. Now it is a straighter path.

A week ago I was eager. Now I am reflective. I am full of learning and now slowly processing the impact of change.

How do you measure change? How do you know it’s happened?

Hezekiah on his sick bed cried out to God for more time on this earth; God heard and answered through the prophet Isaiah that Hezekiah would have 15 more years of life.  How was that change measured?  The shadow of the sun went back up the stairs 10 steps. (read the story here)

The change was measurable.  It was recorded for us to read.

How are your changes measured? Through your memory only? Or do you record change for reflection, for your family, for the future generations to look back on?

How are you capturing the changes in your life?

Whirlwind of Self-imposed Change

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I’ve been promising to tell you what is happening in the lives of our family but each time I start to write something else changes!  Words have been hard to bring out of me; lots are floating around inside like a baby in utero tumbling and growing, waiting to be born.

The theme: Change

Here are some images and accompanying thoughts…

All this is in storage.

Not getting exercise going up and down these 15 times a day.

This is not my view daily.

I don’t sit outside, looking at and listening to this either.

 

 

And this sweet guy needs a new forever home.

 

We’re on an adventure of stepping out of our comfort zone and into what is unknown to us but totally known to God.  He knows the plans He has for us, He declares, plans for welfare and not calamity to give us a future and a hope!  This is big time Trust with a capital T.

More to come I promise!  And not in a month from now either…

In the meantime, if you think of me, us, please thank God for His guiding and directing!

Breaking the Silence

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I want to begin with an apology.  I’m sorry I haven’t written.  I’m sure you’ve wondered what’s been going on and why you haven’t heard from me.  Well, like most lives, mine got full and something had to be set – aside for a time.  I unfortunately chose my writing.  But there has been so much going on to write about that I have to get started again!

A significant season has come to an end in my life.  It wasn’t sudden; I saw the signs of the change coming.  But it has ended. I exhale and realize that all I focused my life on for 25 years has shifted.  The season of parenting has come to an end. *sniff*

No one has died; but my two chicks have grown to adults and have flown from the nest. And that is how it should be.  But there is a temptation to sadness in looking back over their childhood and youthful years and remembering all the hurts or left undones.  I don’t know about you but I must choose to see all the goods and well dones too.  My tendencies are toward the not enough rather than good enough. 

But as I look at the men I have had the distinct privilege of raising the only thing I do see is the goodness of God.  He loves well.  He has grown these little boys into strong, capable, compassionate men in spite of my meddling in His work.  I am left with the knowledge that God built them to be who they are; my dear husband and I were the stewards, the caretakers of them for a time.  Now we have given them back.  We still have opportunity to influence through prayer and the giving of occasional sought out advice but they are done being parented.

So now what do I do with myself?

Ideas?  I have some but I’d love to hear yours!

Be Transformed!

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Romans 12:1-2 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

 

What is the one thing that keeps you from stepping out toward the big dream you have?

What if that one thing was removed from your path?  Would you step forward?  Or would you find one more thing that’s keeping you from taking that step?

 

As I have listened to women talk about their dreams of what is still ahead in life there is often a sadness; a focus on “if only”.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is tied to an event in the past.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is attached to an expected outcome.  Both are rocks in the path that cause them to stumble.

 

We do not live in the past.  We do not know the future.  We live in the gift of this moment; the present.

 

The events of our past may legitimately be terrible experiences.  We may have scars to prove it.  If we stay focused on the ‘if only’ we are clinging to a false sense of reality and denying the sovereignty of God.  Boom.  That’s harsh but true.  How do we let go of the past?

 

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

I’m not saying pretend that bad things didn’t or won’t happen.  I’m saying put the true bad things in the Hands of the One who saw and has the power to redeem.  And then LET GO.

 

Clinging to the past keeps us from having open hands to the present.

 

What if your issue is looking ahead and anticipating the bad things, the stumbling blocks that could be or might be in your path?  The opposite side of hanging on to the past is worry about the unknowns of the future.  What do you do if you’re plagued with worry?

 

The answer is still the same: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

Renewal comes from God.  His Word is life, truth, light to our path.  Get in It.

 

Well-intentioned, faithful women (I include me in this) have stumbled again and again in similar ways.  What keeps us from simply being renewed? From simply doing the work of verse memory? From living out what we say we believe?  From trust that God will come through?

 

Mindset. 

 

It’s the familiar path your thoughts take when you are faced with something new.

 

Stop for a minute and think about how you talk to yourself (either aloud or in your head)

 

Are you loving and encouraging in the face of mistakes or unknowns?  Or are your words harsh, critical and demeaning?  Do you say things to yourself you would NEVER say to a friend or a child?  If your mindset is a negative one, you set yourself up for discouragement and setbacks time and again.

 

The work of changing your mindset needs external support.  Talking out your dreams and aspirations and facing the real or perceived rocks in your path can help you in the work of transformation.  That’s what I do.  As a Christian Life Coach my role in my clients’ lives is to listen and ask questions; questions that help each client clarify what is their next step to take.  I have the distinct privilege of sitting with a woman, prayerfully listening for God’s wisdom for that woman and asking the question that causes them to ponder below the surface of the everyday.

 

“Knowing what is right is like deep water in the heart; a wise person draws from the well within.” (Proverbs 20:5 The Message)

 

Let go of the past.  Look forward with joyful anticipation.  Live in the present.

 

Sound too good to be true?  Let’s talk.

Waiting… Actively

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Have you ever had the sense that your life could be so much more?  Yearning to be working, serving, doing, creating, but you’re not sure What?

Or maybe you have a vision of what can be… but aren’t sure How?

This road sign is a reminder to me…I don’t have to figure it all out at once.  There is One who knows and gives me pieces of the puzzle, the picture that will one day be complete.

I don’t have to work harder, or be smarter, or achieve more, or do be do be do!  I need to give way. I need to yield.

The sign says it all.

Yield

To what? To whom?

That is part of the discovery of the Why You are Here question.

The rest of the sign tells the rest of the story.

ONE WAY

Jesus said, “Let anybody who is discontent, unhappy, who has unfulfilled potential — Let them come to Me.”  John 7:37

Sometimes, no, most times, there are questions.  How does this faith walk work? How do I get started? Get clarity? Start over? And so many more…

Having someone to ask the questions of, who will come alongside you, not telling you what you should do, but listening and drawing out the puzzle pieces already inside you, is SO HELPFUL!

That’s what my life coach did for me.  And continues to.  These times with her have been so helpful for me as I have stepped out of one season of life and into the next.  Her wisdom and grace has helped me step into the role of a life coach for others myself.  Now I have the privilege of spending time listening and asking questions that help another woman find the answers that are needed in her life.

As a follower of Christ, I go to Him first for my client, asking Him to help me listen well, to have His wisdom for this woman and to get me out of the Way so He can work in her life.

Life is such an adventure!  There are challenges and joys all mixed in.  A coach can help you keep your eyes on the Way and can help you see the Light for your next step.

I would LOVE to talk with you about what coaching can look like in your life; we are all unique so our journey and needs are different too.  Click over here to contact me about your free, introductory coaching session.

Learning along the Way is what life is all about from my vantage point.  Join me!

(photo credit: aaroads)

 

 

Seeds of Change

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I think in metaphors.

It may be due in part to years of teaching children.  Perhaps it’s because this is a way God helps me understand big ideas.  In any case this image is one that really speaks to me.

Lent is the season of change.  Of letting go. Of opening up. Of embracing.

This morning I read about forgiveness.  No big deal.  Ha!

Trying to wrap my head around this big idea, the image of a seed came to mind.

Confession is like the seed.

Forgiveness is the soil.

Grace is the rain and sun that causes the plant to sprout and grow.

When I tell someone I know I wronged them and ask for their forgiveness, that is a step toward growth and change for our relationship.

If they accept me and forgive, that is God’s grace at work.  I certainly don’t deserve it.  I really haven’t earned it.  But the result of forgiveness and grace is new life. Renewed love and care.

You hold the seed of change in your hand.

Who is it that you need to hold out the seed to?

House of Bread and Busy-ness

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I love words.  I love seeing connections and sharing what I see.

Today I have been pondering how to push back against the busy-ness this Season often brings. Well more like how to push back and not feel bad about saying No or choosing Not to do something.

I’ve been pondering the simplicity of the night when Joseph and Mary came to Bethlehem.  You may know the story well.  Two young newlyweds traveling to his home town to register for the Roman census. They lived in a time when distractions were few but the effort to simply live was huge.  Every aspect of life was more work than we are used to in this present day American culture.  Food, transportation, and lodging all took a lot of time and physical effort.  Simply living truly meant staying alive.

Bethlehem—House of Bread.  Bread of Life.  Basic, foundational needs.  Met simply that we might simply live.

To slow down and take time to reflect is almost an oxymoron in the midst of the busy-ness this Season of the year usually holds.  The end of the year brings its own demands: change in weather, planning for taxes, end of term in school, work parties, school plays, musical performances, shopping for presents, planning for guests coming; I could go on but I’m getting weary reviewing all this!

Today, we are far from simply living as in the journey to the House of Bread for Joseph & Mary and turning the phrase to living simply takes on a different meaning.  It means less stuff, less distractions, and more opportunity to have margin.  We have more freedom to choose today than those young newlyweds had.  But do we use it or do we allow externals to control our internals?

Living simply allows your choices to be choices rather than obligation driven.

How do you get to living simply?  Away from busy-ness and toward the simplicity of Bethlehem?

Examine your motives for saying Yes to things this Season.  If you are feeling driven by externals, by the busy-ness, you may be doing things for the wrong reasons.  It’s okay to say No once in awhile.  Give yourself permission to live simply.  You just might have space to ponder the peace and joy that entered the world at the end of Joseph & Mary’s journey.

If you’re not sure how to start, or want to talk it out, click over to the Contact Me page on my website and we’ll start a conversation to simplify your life!

Adjusting the Rhythm

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On Monday when I first posted about Rhythm I left you with two questions:

What are “these” that Paul was referring to?

What are the things on your list that don’t work for you any longer?

I’ve been spending lots of time with these two questions; since July just about.  I had the privilege of preparing to teach our women’s Bible study this fall from chapter 4 of Ephesians.  And as is always the case, I learn more than I am able to share in one lesson and  I am challenged in my spiritual formation.

So the “these” that Paul was referring to in his letter to his friends,  were the ways of living that they had been involved in before they came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.  Paul names some of “these”: futility of mind, darkened in understanding… Paul tells us “in reference to your former manner of life, lay aside the old self, …be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self…”  What are the ways of living that you were involved in before you came to faith?  I smile at this question because I know some of you came to faith at 4 so you might laugh at this question.  But this question is not just about the outward actions as a way of life because the context is ‘the mind’.  Paul is challenging us to recognize that the way we think needs to be changed not just the outside.  In fact, Jesus tells us that it’s what is in a man’s heart that defiles him not what goes into the man.

Identifying your patterns of thought that don’t line up with Truth can be tricky because we can be deceived!  Sometimes you need to get a trusted friend or a counselor to talk with and help you identify your harmful, destructive patterns of thought.  Things you tell yourself when you make a mistake are a great place to start. “I’m so stupid!” “I’m an idiot!” “I’m such a loser!” You may not even be aware of your self talk.

It might not be the way you talk to yourself; it may be in how you think about those who have wronged you.  It could be how you view your siblings, or parents or spouse.  Because you’re human and your inherited nature is going in the opposite direction from God, there is something you don’t think rightly about.

Bummer.

But that leads to the second question: what are the things on your list that don’t work for you anymore?

Once you have identified the thing (or things if you’re anything like me!) that belong to your “former manner of life” then you have something to work with!  Now the fun begins!  Your current rhythms can be adjusted to fall in line with a rhythm that is life giving to yourself, to others and is glorifying to God.

If you haven’t taken time to label your answers to those two questions, I’d recommend the time.  What comes next won’t be useful to you without real adjustments to make!

 

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