Learning Along The Way

Peeling off Perfectionism

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I can’t even tell you how creepy this disease is. I have a vague memory of a scene in a children’s movie where the black goo of evil gets all over the bad guy and suffocates him. This suffocating image expresses  this pervasive covering of perfectionism for me.

I’ve been numb to it for years. I believed perfectionism was someone else’s issue not mine. But the truth is because of shame I have lived with this mindset of perfectionism for as long as I can remember.

Good news!

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(quote credit: Christine Caine)

I’m peeling off the layers of perfectionism. It’s messy. And I will make mistakes. It’s painful to look at the gaps in my way of doing life that used to be covered over by this lie I believed.

But Jesus said all things are possible to him who believes. So my response is I do believe, help me in my unbelief.

This means being honest and talking through the hard places of change; moving toward growth and being willing to do things without having my act all together.

YIKES!!

This vulnerability feels a little like the emperor’s new clothes except where the Emperor thought he had a lovely outfit, I know I’m going to be exposed. (Fortunately for all, this is just a metaphor!)

I choose to be brave and take a tentative step forward in my one creative life.

My heart is ready to risk.  It’s been hidden away, self-protected, falsely secure.

For years I’ve read verses that tell me Truth about who God sees me to be. But I have been like the person the apostle James describes who sees their face in a mirror but then forgets what they look like when they turn away from the mirror.

In other words, I haven’t lived out the words of life and truth. I’ve chosen to stay stuck, allowing the enemy of all that is good and true to hold me captive in an imaginary cell of my own acceptance.

What about you? I know I am not alone in this unfortunate trap. I’ve learned just enough about how to get out and away from the slime of perfectionism that I can hold my hand out to you and say

let’s go this way together!

Here’s what I want to do. Let’s get a group together of those who are willing to drop the facade, who are willing to engage with what we’re all learning along the Way.

I’m starting a podcast at the beginning of August where I’ll share quotes, facts, resources, challenges and connection points.  I will also be launching an e-course (available on my website) focusing on letting go and leaning in. There will be a spiritual component to the activities in the course because I believe strongly that we are all on a spiritual journey while we are here on this planet. Where we are journeying is the important question.  We’ll talk about that too.

In the meantime, let me know either here or on the Learning Along the Way Facebook page that you want to peel off perfectionism too.

Let’s do this!

Clipping Threads

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I’m reading two books simultaneously; one for an upcoming course and one just because. Both are written in memoir style, masterfully weaving others’ stories with the author’s personal story. Both written by strong, successful women. Both authors have faced hard circumstances in each of their lives; none of which anyone could say, “oh that’s no big deal; why do you think that’s hard?”  I’m personally awed and challenged by their ways of responding to their respective circumstances. They both have deepened in their faith and trust of God as He has worked in and through their lives.

I love seeing how God has been at work in another’s life, redeeming the brokenness that comes from this fallen world. I’m incredibly encouraged to continue stepping forward in my own journey of restoration.  God at work making all things new.

I have allowed shame to be a prevalent thread in my life for far too long. It was woven into my life while in utero, handed to me by different family members in my early years and strengthened by my own resulting poor choices over the years.

It’s time to clip the threads.

God’s been trying to get my attention about this subject for years. Many passages of His Word point out my freedom from shame like Galatians 2:20

 “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

This reminds me that I’m not the same. God is at work in me for His good purposes.

I have played tug of war with God, hanging onto shame, seeing myself as less than for decades.

It’s time to clip the threads.

Christine Caine’s latest book Unashamed has been the latest tool God is using to get my attention. Her story is so worth reading but more importantly she points us to the Truth. We have a choice in how we see ourselves. I have a choice, an action I can take that demonstrates that I am free.

It’s been such a struggle to change my mindset about who I am. Sometimes I think rightly, along the lines of the Truth of God’s Word to me, over me. But sometimes I revert to the familiar worn paths in my head where I speak in ways I would be mad to hear anyone saying to a friend of mine.

It’s not only time to clip the threads. It’s time to put up a sign like Corrie ten Boom spoke of

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God takes our sins – the past, present, and future, and dumps them in the sea and puts up a sign that says NO FISHING ALLOWED. Click To Tweet

So the follow up is no tug of war. No fishing line. Instead I’m making it fun.

I’m picturing my present day self, gray hair and reading glasses on my nose, wagging my finger at my little girl self and saying “that’s not a loving way to talk to yourself!”

This little girl is free of shame!

What about you? Want to learn to live in the freedom Christ offers?

Living Things Grow; Growing Things Change

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Living Things Grow; Growing Things Change

I first heard these words on Christine Caine’s podcast; Coffee with Chris. I was on a walk through our new neighborhood and her words really pierced into me since we had just landed in a new area after 15 years in the same home.  What a challenging season that was. In some ways I am only now lifting my head consistently after almost 3 years.

I had lost the sense of how hard moving was; not just the physical, but emotional move, when leaving friends and family and familiar is involved. I had lived in the same area for almost 30 years! Changing residences always involved the physical hard work of packing and sorting; giving away and throwing away. But this move? It involved the letting go of the home where we raised our sons, the friends and church we had lived among for nearly 2 decades, our pets, and all the familiarity of streets, best coffee shops, outdoor opportunities within a moment of walking out our front door.

Letting go was hard for me. I slipped into the cavern of depression where light peeked in from far above me. Finding a place to rent that fit our simple list: 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a gas range and a garage was harder than you’d think. What we didn’t realize at the time, because we were strangers to this new area, was our ideal price range was not going to find those creature comforts.  Coming from owning literally 2 times the amount of space to renting for 3 times our mortgage at home made me angry. It still does. But it is what it is.

The anger over less than ideal rentals (we’re now in our second place; a story for another time) wasn’t helping my overall attitude either.  I’ve heard that depression is anger turned inward. I don’t know if that is completely accurate but I knew that I needed to get out of the cavern somehow.  Getting outside and active was a first step. Interject the words I heard on my walk: Living things grow; growing things change.

If I am living then I will be growing AND changing. Those two words are to be expected not rejected. This is not our final home; why do I keep thinking everything needs to be hunky dory all the time? Some might call this magical thinking. In coaching we call it mindset.  Part of my work needed to be in the arena of self-acceptance instead of self-recrimination. A change in mindset.

In letting go I had to acknowledge I was focusing on what wasn’t, instead of being thankful for what is.  That awareness was the first step to real change.  To really lean in I needed to embrace change instead of being mad at it.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-7

I look at these verses and I see the progression, the process of growth. Growth causes change. I don’t want to stay the same. I want to be in the process of letting go and leaning in; of becoming my utmost for His highest.

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In this season of Lent I am doing this very thing, one action at a time.

Where do you find yourself today? Are you in the cavern of depression? Or are you buried under a pile of to dos? Wherever it is you’re not alone. Reach out to someone who can bear witness to where you are and what you’re going through.

You may comment here; it comes to my inbox before going live. If you want to simply connect with me let me know and I won’t publish your comment.

We’re not meant to shoulder this life alone.

2 Women Who Encourage the Masses

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I have been on an unadvertised blogging break for two months. The time has been spent reading & learning (I can’t help myself!). Of course there have also been great times with the Hubster, our two sons & one dear daughter-in-love at different times during the summer, but most often I’ve spent a lot of alone time reading & learning.

There are two women who consistently have crossed my daily electronic path and I think everyone needs to know about them if you don’t already. And if you do, give a shout out here to help others know them too!

I’m talking about Christine Caine and Holley Gerth. I’m not sure if they’ve made one another’s acquaintance but I read their words of encouragement daily. And I am either challenged or blessed or both!

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Christine is daily posting on Instagram, writes a blog, has a weekly podcast called Coffee with Chris and has a new book just out titled Unstoppable. She is a passionate voice pointing us to Kingdom work in whatever manner God has called you. Google her name; you won’t be disappointed.

Holley Gerth is also a writer, encourager and fellow coffee afficiando. Her blog is called Coffee for your Heart. Holley is a generous creative person who freely shares wonderful graphics like this one:

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Holley is a gifted encourager. It’s what she does. I have been blessed so many times in receiving her Instas or reading her blog. Google Holley Gerth and believe me you won’t be disappointed.

Yes maybe part of the reason I have been encouraged by both of these women is that they love coffee as much as I do. But more important than coffee (is that possible?!) is that these 2 Women have been given a platform for Kingdom building. They each faithfully step forward moment by moment and they share their journeys in a way that has helped my own.

I know God has plans for each of us to be involved in His mission and vision and His plans will prevail. Do you know what your part is? Are you stepping forward? Or are you searching, discerning or just waiting on the sidelines?

For I know the plans I have for you declares The Lord…

Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

God is at work. Join in what He’s doing in your part of the world. I’d love to hear what you’re up to!

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