coaching

When is an End Also a Beginning?

December 31, 2018 By Lisa Lewis

Since October 1 of this year, I have been reading 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs.

When I began the book I thought it would be a walk in the park. I consider myself brave; I’ve faced hard things like all of us. Honestly, I didn’t think working through the devotional would require much of me. But in this simple, straightforward devotional, her writing has challenged and encouraged me to stretch and grow in a way I wasn’t expecting.

Right about the end of November, I began the section Brave Enough to Persevere. At Day 60, the very first verse Annie referenced was one I have spoken to others and to myself countless times:

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!” John 16:33

I love this reminder. When life feels hard or out of control or full of uncertainty I like to remind myself that Jesus has overcome the world. None of what any of us face is unknown to Him nor is any of it out of His control. (It still can feel like it to me, but Truth wins over my feelings every time.)

The next eight days it seemed that Annie kept poking at deeper, harder, more painful places than I had thought I’d be facing, again. And yet, I kept seeing the theme here: like Annie, I’m a 7 on the Enneagram and I do my best to gloss over pain, to reframe it so that it’s tolerable. I have gone around the same mulberry bush too many times to count. Then she started a new section:

Brave Enough to Pursue Healing.

Ouch.

If I am going to finish Annie’s book I am going to have to choose to be brave and face deep wounds for real, not just acknowledging their existence, but actually seeking God’s healing for my whole self.

Back into counseling I went, armed with more courage than I ever thought possible. Thank you Jesus! Shame and disregard were twin themes that I didn’t know had trapped my mind behind bars and yet in two different sessions each one was brought to the Light and seen for what it was, a Lie I had chosen to believe because of repeated stories I told myself. Enough of that trash!

Not only counseling but I am also working with a coach whose specialty is body trauma. I have a new book to read called The Body Keeps Score. And I have my one word for 2019:

God is making all things new. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I’m partnering with Holy Spirit to finish the healing work God began in me almost 38 years ago when He opened the eyes of my heart to my need of Him and His love for me.

So reading 100 Days to Brave has been one of the best things I could have started near the end of the year. I know some of you have been reading it too. I’d love to hear how God has been at work in your mind and heart through this devotional.

If you choose one word to frame your year, I’d love to know. Share here or comment on Instagram. I’d love to know how I can pray for your year.

There are new things stirring for me in this coming year; the end of this book will be the beginning of my new series. I’ll begin sharing it the first full week of 2019 so stay tuned!

In the meantime, Happy New Year!

Why? to What? Asking Different Questions Matters

October 5, 2018 By Lisa Lewis

I’m a curious person by nature. I remember getting in trouble for asking, “Why?”

I still ask a lot of questions. How about you? See? Another question!

Now I get to ask questions in my work. As a coach, I listen, ask questions of my clients, and help them discover their next action step in work, life & faith. It’s the best career for a curious person.

So here’s my question for you: What was a recent brave thing you did?

Was it getting out of bed this morning to face a daunting to do list? Was it dealing with a difficult person at work? Or facing the fact that your parent is declining quicker than anyone was ready for?

Being brave doesn’t just mean dealing with BIG struggles. Being brave can come in quiet ways, too.

My most recent brave thing happened today.

Today is my birthday. You might think, ‘How did you have to be brave on your birthday?’ It starts with a memory.

When I was little I used to announce a countdown to my birthday, beginning two months ahead of the big day! I wanted to make sure EVERYONE knew my birthday was coming and just how old I was going to be. My Mom would make whatever flavor of birthday cake I wanted, even if I wanted two flavors. One year, my 9^th birthday, she made a layer cake with one layer of chocolate and one layer of banana cake with whipped cream and fresh banana slices in between with chocolate frosting all around. That was amazing, and obviously memorable.

I suspect she went out of her way that year because we had just moved to a new part of town and I was in a new school. My birthday comes only a month into the school year and as a new student, I hadn’t made friends to ask to a party. Sad. So my Mom went out of her way to make our family time special.

Even as I write this I’m tearing up because I realize how the past 11 birthdays have not been the same since my Mom & Dad died. I guess I try to be brave and cover over the sadness so I’m not a downer, but in reality, I miss them.

We had a crazy, complicated, and dysfunctional family. But it was my family. I’ve supported the livelihoods of several counselors through the years (other brave stories) as I’ve worked through family of origin stuff, but they were still my family, and in spite of the crazy, I love them.

My brave act today was smiling through the sadness.

I’m so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who took the day off so we could drive to the coast and walk on the beach. I am so fortunate to have two amazing sons who both called to wish me a Happy Birthday. I am so fortunate to have loving cousins who sent me cards and SO MANY LOVING FRIENDS who mailed cards, texted, or commented on social media, sharing loving thoughts. Such a great birthday!

I still ask the questions of God though.

Why?

Why did they have to die so young? Why was life so complicated? Why so much pain?

All the questions of a curious person.

I saw this planter at the retreat center I visited last weekend.

It’s on a beautiful prayer path with a sign post that poses a new Way to be brave:

Instead of asking Why in the face of pain, move to asking, What?

What do you want to do through this situation? What can I learn? What can bring you glory in these hard circumstances?

Being brave may be a private act of trust; looking to God in spite of the sadness we face and placing our hope in the One who redeems all things, which includes our sadness.

What brave act have you experienced or witnessed? As Annie says in her book, 100 Days to Brave

When we see brave out in the world, it inspires us.

Share what inspires you. It just may help someone else to be brave, too.

Stumble in the Right Direction

March 4, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

I had the distinct privilege of talking on the phone this morning with a dear friend and prayer partner. I call it a distinct privilege on purpose. It’s always fun to talk with her; we laugh and I cry (I do that easily, ask anyone who knows me well) and we give and receive encouragement. So why was today’s conversation a “distinct privilege”?

It was distinct: clear, certain, emphatic

She had some very specific clear communication for me as my dear friend. She knows my heart and she knows my gifts/talents/skills and she knows where I am prone to fall.

She said clearly in response to my awareness of a need I would be skilled and experienced to fill: “that is a mud pit you don’t want to fall into.”

Distinct.

When I went on to share a bit about what I’ve been up to since we last spoke, she responded with more: “you are in a good place. You’re stumbling in the right direction.”

That statement caused me to grab a pen and write it on an envelope (the closest piece of paper at hand before I lost the words!)

Stumbling in the right direction.

We do stumble at times don’t we? We want to make a change, or do a creative project, or make a new friend. But things happen, sometimes out of our control and sometimes because of us. The change is harder than we thought. The project doesn’t work. The person we hoped to be a new friend we discover isn’t really a good fit.

Stumble.

A stumble isn’t a fall. There is hesitancy. There is the recognition of fear of falling and of embarrassment. But the motion of stumbling is usually moving you in the same direction you were originally going.

So stumbling in the right direction implies you were heading the right way in the first place. Which of course begets the question:

Do you know where you’re heading?

It seems like I have been in the business of answering that question for 7 years! But the process of coming to an answer has really been the evidence of ‘stumbling in the right direction.’ The fact that this process has taken me 7 years might say different things to different people, but for me the theme of these seven years has been clarity.

I have spent time asking God and family and friends, to help me find clarity. Help me see connections between experiences, talents, skills and gifts. How best to make use of those connections. I started a blog. Way back in 2007 when I turned 50! This is actually my 3^rd blog (the other two archives are connected here if you’re curious)

I became a Life Coach in 2009 as a connection of e.t.s.&g. (see above) I love listening and asking questions of my clients, helping them connect the dots in their lives.

I am speaking to women in mentoring roles and in front of groups as opportunities present themselves. I really love speaking encouragement to women!

I am writing. Not as much on paper as I have in my head to say but I am writing. Especially in my journal.

Through these actions I have gained clarity. I know why I am here. (at least at this moment!)

I found clarity in connecting a dot from a long time ago; so long ago, it was almost forgotten. It is actually a question for all of us:

What is the chief end of man? (think humanity here)

To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

Yeah yeah, grown up Sunday school answer right? Not at all.

Sit with me here for a moment.

If all of my moments are given as a gift from God, then thanking Him for those moments brings Him glory. He gets the credit. Not me. So being thankful for even the hard, yucky stuff we all go through at one point or another, is half of the main purposewe are here.

The other half? It’s

linked to life itself—enjoying God forever. Not in forever. Right here. Right now. And it’s linked to thankfulness.

In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

In my stumbling in the right direction, I stumbled upon an old maxim which is bedrock. The first question in The Westminster Catechism.

Which brings me round to why I said my conversation with my friend this morning was a ‘distinct privilege’. She is a gift of God to many. Her friendship and wisdom is refreshing. We all need people like this in our lives on as regular a basis as we can make time for. And we all need to thank God for the privilege that true friendship really is. A distinct privilege.

Two things for you to consider:

Where are you heading? Are you stumbling in the right direction? Into the arms of a loving God who gives good and perfect gifts?

Who are the friends with whom you have the distinct privilege of relating? How can you encourage them today?

Please share your thoughts; all your comments are moderated so if it’s too private for public reading, let me know and I won’t publish it here. I’d love to hear from you!

Opportunities to Connect

April 17, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

I was privileged to participate in an amazing life-focusing experience recently. I participated in a group that read and discussed the book you see pictured above. This is my copy of this marvelous book by Kim Avery titled, Uniquely You:Discover Your Life Purpose. Notice the cover is bent and worn. Proof that I’ve opened it more than once!

I’ll tell you what, this book has been a fantastic, easy to read, and transformational tool that God has used in my life. No exaggeration. I would love all my friends and their friends and their friends’ friends to be able to read and interact with other women about this book. It’s that good. Really. That good.

Listen to these questions Kim asks:

Do you feel overworked, overwhelmed and unfulfilled?
Do you ever wonder if you are missing out on God’s best?
Do you know and live out the purpose God has for YOU?

I asked Kim if I could offer a book group using Uniquely You. She said Yes! I’m so excited to be able to offer YOU a group! There are a couple of different opportunities to connect. I am offering two group options during the month of May:

Each group will meet all 5 Fridays for one hour either

1) in the mid-morning at my office, or

2) at noon PST on the phone through my bridge line (you can be anywhere!)

This book is easily read and discussed in a small group of about 5. It will take you a personal time commitment of 10 minutes a day each week. The book is written to be read in a 4 week format. I want to offer the discussion group for 5 weeks to give enough discussion and processing time. At the end of the book, you will have the option of a personal coaching session with me to allow you time for “What’s Next” after all you learn about yourself during our group time and through your individual reading times.

Interested? Want to know particulars?

Leave a comment below; email me through my website; message me on Facebook; direct message me through Twitter, or simply call me!

You need to act quickly because of both limits of space (5 in a group) and time (to order the books!)

Depending on the number of women interested, I am considering offering the group again during the summer. If your schedule prevents you from participating in either of these two times in May let me know.

House of Bread and Busy-ness

December 5, 2012 By Lisa Lewis

I love words. I love seeing connections and sharing what I see.

Today I have been pondering how to push back against the busy-ness this Season often brings. Well more like how to push back and not feel bad about saying No or choosing Not to do something.

I’ve been pondering the simplicity of the night when Joseph and Mary came to Bethlehem. You may know the story well. Two young newlyweds traveling to his home town to register for the Roman census. They lived in a time when distractions were few but the effort to simply live was huge. Every aspect of life was more work than we are used to in this present day American culture. Food, transportation, and lodging all took a lot of time and physical effort. Simply living truly meant staying alive.

Bethlehem—House of Bread. Bread of Life. Basic, foundational needs. Met simply that we might simply live.

To slow down and take time to reflect is almost an oxymoron in the midst of the busy-ness this Season of the year usually holds. The end of the year brings its own demands: change in weather, planning for taxes, end of term in school, work parties, school plays, musical performances, shopping for presents, planning for guests coming; I could go on but I’m getting weary reviewing all this!

Today, we are far from simply living as in the journey to the House of Bread for Joseph & Mary and turning the phrase to living simply takes on a different meaning. It means less stuff, less distractions, and more opportunity to have margin. We have more freedom to choose today than those young newlyweds had. But do we use it or do we allow externals to control our internals?

Living simply allows your choices to be choices rather than obligation driven.

How do you get to living simply? Away from busy-ness and toward the simplicity of Bethlehem?

Examine your motives for saying Yes to things this Season. If you are feeling driven by externals, by the busy-ness, you may be doing things for the wrong reasons. It’s okay to say No once in awhile. Give yourself permission to live simply. You just might have space to ponder the peace and joy that entered the world at the end of Joseph & Mary’s journey.

If you’re not sure how to start, or want to talk it out, click over to the Contact Me page on my website and we’ll start a conversation to simplify your life!