Since October 1 of this year, I have been reading 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs.
When I began the book I thought it would be a walk in the park. I consider myself brave; I’ve faced hard things like all of us. Honestly, I didn’t think working through the devotional would require much of me. But in this simple, straightforward devotional, her writing has challenged and encouraged me to stretch and grow in a way I wasn’t expecting.
Right about the end of November, I began the section Brave Enough to Persevere. At Day 60, the very first verse Annie referenced was one I have spoken to others and to myself countless times:
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!” John 16:33
I love this reminder. When life feels hard or out of control or full of uncertainty I like to remind myself that Jesus has overcome the world. None of what any of us face is unknown to Him nor is any of it out of His control. (It still can feel like it to me, but Truth wins over my feelings every time.)
The next eight days it seemed that Annie kept poking at deeper, harder, more painful places than I had thought I’d be facing, again. And yet, I kept seeing the theme here: like Annie, I’m a 7 on the Enneagram and I do my best to gloss over pain, to reframe it so that it’s tolerable. I have gone around the same mulberry bush too many times to count. Then she started a new section:
Brave Enough to Pursue Healing.
Ouch.
If I am going to finish Annie’s book I am going to have to choose to be brave and face deep wounds for real, not just acknowledging their existence, but actually seeking God’s healing for my whole self.
Back into counseling I went, armed with more courage than I ever thought possible. Thank you Jesus! Shame and disregard were twin themes that I didn’t know had trapped my mind behind bars and yet in two different sessions each one was brought to the Light and seen for what it was, a Lie I had chosen to believe because of repeated stories I told myself. Enough of that trash!
Not only counseling but I am also working with a coach whose specialty is body trauma. I have a new book to read called The Body Keeps Score. And I have my one word for 2019:
God is making all things new. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I’m partnering with Holy Spirit to finish the healing work God began in me almost 38 years ago when He opened the eyes of my heart to my need of Him and His love for me.
So reading 100 Days to Brave has been one of the best things I could have started near the end of the year. I know some of you have been reading it too. I’d love to hear how God has been at work in your mind and heart through this devotional.
If you choose one word to frame your year, I’d love to know. Share here or comment on Instagram. I’d love to know how I can pray for your year.
There are new things stirring for me in this coming year; the end of this book will be the beginning of my new series. I’ll begin sharing it the first full week of 2019 so stay tuned!
In the meantime, Happy New Year!