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“I Want to be Alone”

February 20, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

I have reflected on solitude before many times. I have written down some of those reflections; you can read a reflective post from last May here.

This week began with the good intention of blogging about my journey through this season of Lent daily.  As I typed the words “good intention” I heard in my head the saying “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions” so I had to stop and research (google it) the origin of the quote.  We can thank Bernard of Clairvaux, the earliest known speaker of the saying that wags a proverbial finger in my direction.  Can you say: easily distracted?  Or “squirrel” in the Disney-speak from “Up”?

This picture is a perfect example.  I looked through my photos for an image that was peaceful.  Or at least reminded me of feeling peaceful. This was taken in Dec. of 2009 at Hume Lake. Seeing the picture reminded me of that Christmas with our sons still at home. Then I had to look at the rest of the photos in that folder.

Yes. I am easily distracted.  I allow my circumstances to distract me from my plan. When I do purpose to be alone my inner life is a battle between ideas and on what to focus my competing thoughts.  It is hard to get still in my body and then still in my head.

When I do finally settle down to quiet my mind and focus on God, another battle starts.  Competing ideas, items for a to do list, calendar obligations all bubble to the front of my thoughts.

Thankfully being still is a discipline, something that is learned.  Not something that comes naturally.

Whew! That’s a relief.  Because stillness is learned that means I am capable of learning how to be still; internally as well as externally.

The challenge is both out and in. But I’ve heard that anything worth having is worth working for (another saying to google–your turn!)

Tonight I am sitting still.

Tomorrow I will start by being still…and focusing on One image.  Like this photo…

Filed Under: Personal, rhythm of life Tagged With: being still, distracted, God, good intentions

Meet Lisa…

I am a native California girl married to my best friend, Colin; we currently live and work in the Silicon Valley. I am privileged to be mom to two fantastic grown sons, mom-in-law to a wonderful daughter, and recent Mimi to a grand-daughter! On any given Saturday, you can see my hubster and I out on our tandem bike somewhere, enjoying the beauty of creation! Read More…

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