Learning Along The Way

A Couple Dozen Reasons

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Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and SnapChat didn’t exist 24 years ago. Neither did the internet for that matter.  And frankly, I’m glad.  My life to that point had been a series of fender benders, speeding tickets and finally a train wreck; all of them culminating at this day, our wedding day. July 20, 1991.

Colin was not to blame for any of those earlier events. In fact he turned out to be the Knight in Shining Armor sent by the King of the realm unbeknownst to this Ragamuffin.  The Wise King knew exactly what it would take to win back this bruised, broken and unlikely heroine.  Because He causes all things to work together for our good, this is a tale of redemption and healing; a story we all want to have woven into our own lives.

One doesn’t expect a story to end well that has a rough beginning. Many tales that begin badly end worse. But God has had a different plan for me that I often couldn’t see or hang on to.  Yet He continues to persevere in working ALL of my life’s circumstances for His good purposes.  IMG_6655I certainly don’t deserve His mercy. But because of Who God is, mercy and grace is what He has poured out on me. On us. Three kids became a family 24 years ago today. In homemade clothes, with the help of family and friends, we began simply. Making a commitment we didn’t really understand but have remained faithful to. Raising not one, but eventually two sons, both now men. Good men. God’s abundant grace poured down.

Two cats, three dogs and one goldfish were all members of our family. There were the two rats, two anoles and one snake that had their stays but they weren’t really an integral part of the family. Raising people and animals gives one a perspective of the importance and difficulty of sacrifice; a small inkling of what God has done for each one of us.

Letting go of old hurts, choosing the path of forgiveness over bitterness have been gentle nudges from God through Colin and our sons.  It seems time and again, I’ve been the one to need the most shaping, the most re-working on an emotional and spiritual level; the loves of my life have been some of God’s shaping tools. Reading and studying His Word, growing up together, learning humility, expressing kindness sincerely, and looking to one another’s needs have been life lessons we have learned along the Way.

I am awed by what God has done through our marriage.  Our sons are real people with real choices who know real acceptance by both their heavenly and earthly Fathers.  They have great relationships with Colin and each other; of which I am amazed. These are results out of my hands people. I joke about holding up a sign that reads: Don’t Go This Way! and yet young people seek us out, asking for time with us to learn how to walk this life. Humbled is not a big enough word to express my feelings when a young woman asks me to meet for coffee. Tears of thankfulness to our good God stream down my cheeks as I write this.

There are at least a couple dozen reasons why this marriage should have crashed and burned at various points over these couple dozen years.

But God.

He has intervened again and again, saving, sanctifying, guiding and directing us back toward one another and upward to Him.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

How Do You Measure Change?

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A week ago I was in a different state. Not state of mind, although that is true too, but state in this country. All the way across the country from where I live. A day of flights, layovers and missed shuttle later and I was in a hotel with over 700 women gathering for what turned out to be an amazing 3 day conference:  She Speaks.  There were fabulous speakers, Lysa TerKeurst, Michael Hyatt, Holley Gerth, to give you an idea, and so much learning that I am still processing it all a week later!

Which brings me to the question, How do you measure change?  How do you recognize when something is different when it seems change happens subtly?

The change you’re experiencing may come in seconds like a set of waves at the edge of the ocean.

You may be caught off guard, the change comes and you get wet since you weren’t paying attention.

Or change may happen so slowly that you’re not sure what’s different, you just know something is.

Keep an eye on the shape of this creek…

There is a difference of a week between these two shots. Intense power redirected the path of this creek that leads into the vastness of the ocean. In.one.week.

The week before the creek was winding its way to its goal. Now it is a straighter path.

A week ago I was eager. Now I am reflective. I am full of learning and now slowly processing the impact of change.

How do you measure change? How do you know it’s happened?

Hezekiah on his sick bed cried out to God for more time on this earth; God heard and answered through the prophet Isaiah that Hezekiah would have 15 more years of life.  How was that change measured?  The shadow of the sun went back up the stairs 10 steps. (read the story here)

The change was measurable.  It was recorded for us to read.

How are your changes measured? Through your memory only? Or do you record change for reflection, for your family, for the future generations to look back on?

How are you capturing the changes in your life?

Family Flashback Friday

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Alliteration is fun.  Having words start with the same letter can be helpful for memory’s sake.  If you use Instagram with your smart phone or tablet, you may have seen friends posting older pictures.  It’s fun to see younger versions of my friends.  There’s Throwback Thursday and Flashback Friday.  I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon sort of, by putting this particular photo both here and on Insta.

I am in this picture.  If you know me, you know which one is me.  If you don’t yet know me, look on my website to see a recent portrait of me and you’ll know which one is me right away.  This has always been a favorite picture for me; my grandparents holding my brother and two cousins at Christmas in 1962.  That’s right, 50 years ago.

That’s a flashback.

By no means would I take the time here to flash forward through all of life that has been lived; that would be a volume not a blog post!  Suffice it to say, there are lots of joys and sorrows that have been lived in each of the lives represented in this photo.

At the center of it all, the girl with the big smile has hung on…to Hope.

I am happy to say that gift of Hope is one thing that has helped me, like a beacon of light for a storm tossed boat; there is a grounding, a solid place that the storms cannot destroy.  My Hope.

“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness”  The Solid Rock.  He has been in this with me and for me even when I wasn’t in it for myself.

“I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.”  People let you down.  People who say they love you can hurt you, intentionally.  Knowing full well they’re hurting you.

“When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace; in every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.”  When terrible things happen, where do you turn?

“His oath, His covenant, His blood, support me in the whelming flood; when all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.”  When the bottom falls out of life, where is your grounding?

I didn’t work at this Hope.  I didn’t muscle through tough things with a dogged determination to be hopeful.  It is a gift I have received from the Generous Giver of all good gifts.  Even as a child when I didn’t fully understand, He was hovering and protecting me and giving me Hope.

He longs for you to receive His Gift.  We have been practicing Thankfulness for a season and now it is the season of giving and receiving gifts.  This is a Gift for which you can be eternally thankful!  Won’t you receive the Gift of Hope today?

Using Time

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Had a really sweet time encouraging Moms yesterday at the MOPS group at B.F.C.C. in Alameda.  If you are in their area and need a Moms group, this is a new group so it would be easy to get plugged in.

What is MOPS?  If you’re not familiar check them out here.  If your season right now is a mom of preschoolers then get plugged into MOPS in your area.  Don’t have one?  Look into starting one!

Maybe you’re not in the season of having littles at home.  That’s not where I am anymore!  In fact I shared this photo of my newly married son reminding me and encouraging them that time is a fleeting thing!

Before you know it, the kids are grown up and out on their own!  Where did the time go?  How was that time with him spent?

It’s so good to be reminded to make the most of our time (Eph 5:16).  But what does that look like in each season of life? Are we supposed to be busy doing anything and everything that constitutes good works?  (Eph 2:10) Are we to be filling our time to the brim with well doing? (Gal 6:9)  Is doing doing doing what constitutes a life well lived?

No.  Not if all the doing squeezes out time for relationship.  You see, what matters are the things that last for eternity.  What are those things?

Souls.

So what matters most is your soul, your family members’, your friends’, your neighbors’, the homeless, the unborn, the disenfranchised, those of other countries and cultures.  People matter most.

What matters most is relationships.  Jesus modeled this for us as He walked here.  Time with the Father alone.  Time with others quietly. Time with others serving/working.  Time intentionally spent developing relationships.  Grace filled relationships.

Think about the two sisters Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42) .  Are you worried and bothered by so many things?  Or are you choosing the better part that will not be taken away from you?

I am not saying doing good things should be abandoned so that you can sit alone in silence: unless you are doing too many good things and you have no unobligated time to sit alone in silence for even 5 minutes!

Intentional time alone with God; intentional time with family, with friends, and then out to the world.  Making the most of your time looks differently in each season.  What does your time look like today? Where can adjust to make that time intentional?

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