Learning Along The Way

Routes & Journeys

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over colin's shoulderThis is the view I have from the back of our tandem.  Not too shabby, eh?

This man and I have been on a journey together since 1991.  At times the route has been plain to see: work, caring for little children, home responsibilities and time with family and friends.

I would call those parts of the journey the flats; few bumps and fairly flat terrain.

This year has been a different terrain, however.  Our journey has taken us into uncharted territory; no map, no direction, no labeled route. Just trust and keep pedaling toward the next turn as the Light reveals it.

This part of the journey has involved leaving. And letting go. And good byes.

And all of that is hard.rear view mirror I have spent too much time looking at the journey from this perspective.

 

We pedaled into the unknown toward an unknown future.

But I trusted the One to Whom there are NO UNKNOWNS.

Prov31And He is faithful.

We moved out of our house and into suitcases and boxes.  And after 96 days of nomadic life, in 7 days we will land in a downsized space in a new place because of thisthe offer

 

The real Captain of the tandem is taking us on a new route.  It has taken us far from family & friends; from familiar places.

We’ve begun the hunt for a new church, new cycling paths, and new experiences while making effort to maintain our established friendships.

Hard but good.

As I was reading today in the new Proverbs 31 OBS book A Confident Heart, this verse jumped off the page:

“Do not call to mind the former things or ponder the things of the past.  Behold I will do something new, now it will spring forth, will you not be aware of it?  I will even make a road way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”

He has made a new road way.  A new route.

I am known.  I am seen.  I am loved & cared for beyond what I can imagine.

You are too.  Do you realize it?  I forget sometimes. Do you?

I know I too often take my eyes off the One Who is doing these new things and instead I look at the ‘if only’ or ‘I wish’ and I lose sight of the Way He is leading and I get off His route and into the weeds.  And get a flat tire. Or stuck. I need help.

Psalm 121 says “I will live up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.”

provo mountainsThe journeys of life can feel like they are taking us on routes away from what is known & familiar & safe & predictable.

But the only true journey is on the route which leads toward the Heart of God.  That route may not feel safe. (But He is good.)  It’s definitely NOT familiar or predictable.

But this journey is taking me right where I want to end up.  In His secure, loving embrace with a whispered “Well done…”

Mystery

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Mystery.

Life is not completely any one thing. Life is aspects of variety: tangible 3D stuff paired with intangible, illusive, unexplainable mystery.

Some are uncomfortable with the unknown, the Mystery. They fear that which is unexplainable with their senses, denying existence.

Others are completely bored with the rational, concrete, clearly defined and confined.

I think life is in between.

That’s where I want to live and work. In between. Being respectful of both sides and yet living in the tension between the two extremes. I think that is where I meet with God the best. In between.

I love to walk barefoot on the shore. Not the loose sand beyond the reach of repeated pounding waves but the vulnerable and exposed two times a day shore of low tide. It’s saturated sand is cold packed yet soft; if you stand still you start to settle into it like slow moving quicksand. Along the shore of low tide are the hidden from view finds: sea glass and heart shaped rocks that are my treasures.

Walking in silence, listening to the call of birds, the lapping of waves before the turn of the tide, gives my heart freedom to speak from deep to deep. I see the vast gray blue of the water in early light and see the connection of tangible and intangible. God is vast as the sea is vast.

The metaphors come with each new wave along the shore. The gifts from the sea are His love gifts to me; treasures I seek in time spent alone with Him, walking in His creation, crying, laughing, sighing, reflecting. Alert to His whispers, listening deep, listening long.

The rhythm of the waves lapping as the tide changes gives me a connection; my internal rhythm starts to keep pace with the ebb and flow of the waves. Without looking I know when to step out of the way of an incoming wave threatening to wet my bare feet.
I don’t mind getting wet, but the listening trains my movement, my dance along the shore with Him.

The cool of the sand that never sees enough light to dry is somehow comforting to my steps. I stop to gaze at the collection of tumbled items and my feet start to settle into the sand saturated by ocean left behind; it oozes up between my toes. The rocks and shells mixed together make finding gifts a challenge. Another metaphor emerges: treasures from Him must be sought, sifting through the distractions, softening the gaze to see past the myriad of clutter to find the one piece of sustenance to take away from the shore, the reminder of His love. A piece of glass, the uniquely heart- shaped rock are the tangible treasures that speak of the Mystery that is relationship with the One Who created all things.

What’s one thing that helps you connect with The Mystery?

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Deep Breath

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photo(57)This is a view of San Luis Obispo this past Saturday as my husband and I walked across the Jennifer St. Bridge to meet a friend for dinner; our last dinner as residents of SLO.

*sigh*

The SLO life has been my life for 28 years.  That exceeds many people’s lives (including my two sons).

Since then we have moved.  I wrote about this process a couple of posts ago, but my focus now is not what is behind but what is ahead.

God promises and He comes through.  The prophet Isaiah told of things to come:

“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,
In paths they do not know I will guide them.
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains.
These are the things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone.”

Some will tell you this prophecy is for the nation of Israel but when I read what Jesus promised and I look at what Paul also says in 2 Corinthians 4:6

I think God is telling us He will make things new in us and through us.

But I can get in the way; I can hinder the work of God in my life.  I have done it many times over many years. *ouch*

This time I said Yes. Our gracious, merciful God has done big things!

My dear husband has been the humble servant of his family for 2 decades (and change).  He has taken jobs that allowed us the stability of one home as the boys grew; but his career path really needed to lead out of SLO and far beyond.  We tried the long distance commuting life for a time a couple of years ago but that wasn’t good; too tiring and draining rather than life giving.  He was patient; not demanding his own way or that his needs be met. His leadership is gentle.  He is truly a humble man.  I am blessed.

Yesterday he started here in a dream job for an engineer.photo(58)God saw my husband’s humble way and provided this opportunity out of the blue.  He wasn’t looking for them; they found him.  He was ready.  He was thrilled.

And because God has been at work in me to let go and say yes to whatever He has for us we are now living in a new area.  Which is big and crowded and different.

Guess what?

God is bigger.  And right here with me.  And He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  God is trustworthy.

If you read this and think “I could never do that” you’re right.  I didn’t do it either.  All I did was say I am willing.  And I begged God to do the rest.

The adventure with God continues.  Want to come along?  Let me know what God is doing in your part of the world!

 

New Life from…Pond Scum?

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Ever had one of those days when you long to be involved in something more, something grand, and instead your day is filled with laundry, or diapers, or emails? I have come to the realization that the something more is at hand, always.

“It has always seemed to me. ever since early childhood, amid all the commonplaces of life, I was very near to a kingdom of ideal beauty. Between it and me hung only a thin veil. I could never draw it quite aside, but sometimes a wind fluttered it and I caught a glimpse of the enchanting realms beyond-only a glimpse-but those glimpses have always made life worthwhile.”(Anne of Green Gables, L.M. Montgomery)

This quote from one of my all time favorite book series says it perfectly.  This morning was one of those glimpses for me. This may not look like much of a glimpse of ideal beauty; it’s pond scum!  But look closely and you may just be able to see the joy that I glimpsed…Those tiny green dots are evidence of hope.  It’s not gross.  With the proper perspective one may see…New life from the pond scum.

Some days I feel like pond scum.  I have been irritable, impatient, demanding my own way and generally no fun to be with.  Slimy and gross. And yet, the One who has redeemed my soul from the pit chooses to work through my scum to bring new life.  And while He does so He abundantly blesses beyond all we can think or imagine. In fact, if you look closely at the photo on the lower left side there are two, yes TWO, heart shaped rocks just sitting there for us to see.  Love gifts just laying around for those who have eyes to see.  For us to glimpse the enchanting realms beyond.

God loves us, people!  He gave up everything to come here, become like us and then pay for our souls with His own life.  How great the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure…

I gladly offer my pond scummy self up to Him to bring forth new life for His glory and others good.

How about you?

Whirlwind of Self-imposed Change

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I’ve been promising to tell you what is happening in the lives of our family but each time I start to write something else changes!  Words have been hard to bring out of me; lots are floating around inside like a baby in utero tumbling and growing, waiting to be born.

The theme: Change

Here are some images and accompanying thoughts…

All this is in storage.

Not getting exercise going up and down these 15 times a day.

This is not my view daily.

I don’t sit outside, looking at and listening to this either.

 

 

And this sweet guy needs a new forever home.

 

We’re on an adventure of stepping out of our comfort zone and into what is unknown to us but totally known to God.  He knows the plans He has for us, He declares, plans for welfare and not calamity to give us a future and a hope!  This is big time Trust with a capital T.

More to come I promise!  And not in a month from now either…

In the meantime, if you think of me, us, please thank God for His guiding and directing!

Vision

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When you are starting to build something from random pieces, the only thing that will guide your hands is vision.  You have to have a picture, an idea, a vision of what you are building to really make it happen.

Legos have step by step wordless directions.

Architects listen to customers and go to their drawing boards (well, now it’s computers) to draw out the picture of the customer’s ideas before the building begins.

God, who is the ultimate architect, had vision for this Creation.  He has vision for you, too.

I have the privilege of speaking at a women’s retreat this weekend. I appreciate prayer.  The architects of the retreat have a plan. They cast the vision for me.  They gave me the outline.  Today the vision will become reality.  I’m really excited and privileged to be with these women whom I have not yet met.  Their hearts for God, their desire for community, inspire me.

Have you ever thought about what God’s vision is for you?  Next week I am going to share a vision for the future, your future, and I will invite you to join me in making reality.  Intrigued?  I hope so!

Check back next week!

Less Really is More

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Yesterday I didn’t post, I experienced.

This week of Lent the focus has been the spiritual discipline of fasting. This discipline challenges me. I don’t remember a time when I truly fasted for spiritual reasons. I remember lots of attempts and just as many failures. Medical fasts yes, spiritual, no.

I think I was afraid. Not sure of what, but fear is something that I felt as I read the first entry in my Lenten devotional, Less is More. Maybe i feared failure again? As the week went on I faced the unknown fear head on; fasting differently each day ( one meal, a couple of days and then two meals). Thursday night I purposed to fast through until dinner Friday.

The devotional question on Friday was a contemplative one: How does fasting connect us with the life of God, the lives of others?

It’s a great question.

Being invited into the Life of the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is an invitation open to all Christ followers, but how much do I treasure the invitation? Am I so constantly busy that I can’t slow down enough to hear or see?

Yesterday I slowed. The day was fairly routine; I walked the dog, pulled weeds, did laundry, cleaned a portion of the house, did dishes. Nothing spectacular. But it was different. God was in it with me in a new way.

Every time I try to write what the day was like, words escape. Here’s one: Joy-filled. Peaceful. Good. Self-control. Yes, I experienced the Fruit of the Spirit in new ways. It was definitely worth it.

When hunger rumbled, I thought about Haiti. I thought about Sri Lanka. India. Inner city LA. The homeless in our community. Children around the world. My hunger was temporary; theirs often ending only when they see the Face of God.

This experience was blessed. I will endeavor a fast again.

What have been your experiences with fasting?

“I Want to be Alone”

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I have reflected on solitude before many times. I have written down some of those reflections; you can read a reflective post from last May here.

This week began with the good intention of blogging about my journey through this season of Lent daily.  As I typed the words “good intention” I heard in my head the saying “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions” so I had to stop and research (google it) the origin of the quote.  We can thank Bernard of Clairvaux, the earliest known speaker of the saying that wags a proverbial finger in my direction.  Can you say: easily distracted?  Or “squirrel” in the Disney-speak from “Up”?

This picture is a perfect example.  I looked through my photos for an image that was peaceful.  Or at least reminded me of feeling peaceful. This was taken in Dec. of 2009 at Hume Lake. Seeing the picture reminded me of that Christmas with our sons still at home. Then I had to look at the rest of the photos in that folder.

Yes. I am easily distracted.  I allow my circumstances to distract me from my plan. When I do purpose to be alone my inner life is a battle between ideas and on what to focus my competing thoughts.  It is hard to get still in my body and then still in my head.

When I do finally settle down to quiet my mind and focus on God, another battle starts.  Competing ideas, items for a to do list, calendar obligations all bubble to the front of my thoughts.

Thankfully being still is a discipline, something that is learned.  Not something that comes naturally.

Whew! That’s a relief.  Because stillness is learned that means I am capable of learning how to be still; internally as well as externally.

The challenge is both out and in. But I’ve heard that anything worth having is worth working for (another saying to google–your turn!)

Tonight I am sitting still.

Tomorrow I will start by being still…and focusing on One image.  Like this photo…

Skin in the Game

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Interesting thought: to be really invested in something requires at least a piece of yourself. Skin in the game.

This morning as I read through the devotional entries and the Advent devotionals (yes plural) I saw something I had not put together before.  You may have already made this connection but I didn’t see it this way until today.

Way back, at the beginning of the Story, when our great-grandparents, Adam & Eve, made the choice to believe Satan’s lie, God came looking for them and asked “Where are you?”

It’s not like God didn’t know where Adam & Eve were.  He knew.  He questioned to allow them to confess.  When they did, God sacrificed a piece of Himself, His creation, and made coverings for them.

Fast forward to the Cross.  Jesus, the perfect, unblemished Lamb of God, sacrificed Himself for ALL humanity so that we can come home; home in the Presence of God. Wearing the covering He made through the sacrifice of Himself.

God has had skin in the game of Life since the beginning.  His plan is for us to be with Him.  Being in the game of Life with Him will cost you something: pride.

Are you in?

Thankful for Meltdowns?

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Today’s blog post is being written in the back seat of a rental car hurtling through California eastward toward Utah. Gotta love technology!

Spent the morning working down my to do list. Getting things prepped for our trip and simultaneously battling the temptation to allow the ticking clock to ruin my focus on being thankful.

The battle really isn’t obvious (for the most part), but is internal; fought on the battlefield of the mind. That’s the place where I, where we, can make choices. Do we believe time controls us or do we believe the One who controls time? God invites us to be at peace in His abiding Presence at the same moment as the ticking clock tries to distract us.

I don’t always make the restful choice; for about 15 minutes today I had a meltdown. The issue was a missing wallet and a time obligation colliding. True confession: I have too many purses. Good thing for me I keep them all hanging on parallel racks on the back of the closet door so it’s easy to switch from one to another. Except when I don’t use a purse at all just to confuse things and keep me on my organizational toes. That was my recent mistake. So I didn’t know where I had put said wallet. Clock ticking. friend waiting. Peace slipping away.

I stood in my closet and cried. Out loud I apologized to the Lord; telling Him I was wrong to launch in to this hunt without asking Him first where that errant wallet was hiding. Sniffing, I went back downstairs, looking through my office where I had already hunted and come up empty. I knelt down to look through a basket, again, and saw the illusive wallet peaking out of the pocket of my briefcase.

Was it the position of bowing low and slowing down or the tearful acknowledgment of my control issues that helped me see? Either or both. Whatever it took for the Lord to get my attention was good. I smiled, thanked Him for directing my steps and moved ahead.

When you are thankful during this Thanksgiving week, who are you thankful to?

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