Learning Along The Way

Imagine Relief

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Reading His Word this morning I found myself on a road in a crowd of jostling people…

if only I could touch the hem of his cloak

I felt the desperate urgency of a timid hand reaching, knees bent low, face turned up watching…

I know I will be healed…

Immediately.

Who touched my cloak?

Sarcasm from the men…You see the crowds pushing and ask Who touched you?

I did. I was on that dusty, crowd filled road. I felt her relief.

Can you imagine? The shame? The harm suffered at the hands of many physicians who didn’t have a clue why or what to do? The financial drain? The physical drain?Her desperate need was her motivation to reach out and touch, not be a bother,

just the hem of His garment would be enough

Relief. Immediate relief.

It’s the same today.

Just a touch of His Presence brings peace. comfort. healing.

Wounds that have bled inside hidden from the world for more than her 12 years

Heart wounds inflicted intentionally

Soul wounds at the hands of others

Whatever your need…

reach out and touch Him.

The Kingdom of God is at hand…

 

This Mother’s Day

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What is it about Mother’s Day that was always so painful?

 

My mother didn’t “get” me. 

I wasn’t easy. 

I talked a lot. 

And then was broken.

Through my brokenness I needed.

She had nothing to give.

Her own brokenness had been pushed away and put away, never to be fully faced but always to be lived out of; embittered, angry, and impatient with anyone who asked of her more than what she was willing to offer.

That was me.

Empty, needy and hurting I wanted her…

comfort, understanding, time, presence.

A skinned knee—“Bactine and Band Aids are in the cupboard”

A hurt and misunderstood heart—“Life’s not fair, get over it.”

A listening ear—“I don’t have time to listen to your whining!”

What a child sees and hears may not be all of the reality that is being lived out.  Children lack the skills to see beyond the responses; but the words bore deep into the forming soul.

As I seek deep healing from the One who gave it all, I look back and see her differently:

A wounded heart that had not sought the Master’s touch to heal

A broken girl trying to achieve acceptance in the world

A neglected woman working to earn favor in the workplace

A mother of two broken children: frustrated, without resources, believing lies

As I come to this Mother’s Day, I come with renewed perspective.

Eucharisteo

I give thanks for the dark graces of my childhood

To see them as scars, no longer wounds.

To rejoice in the fellowship of His sufferings, knowing full well that all I walked through He walked with me, although unknown to me at the time.

He touches the places of the deep bore-holes and peace enters in.

I am loved as I am.

I am seen for Whose I am.

I am accepted because He was forsaken.

Because I am learning to see my life through the redeeming work of the Cross, I am able to say what is and truly forgive.  How can I not when I have been forgiven all?

She is gone 6 years now.  I wish I knew then what I know now.  I would take a do-over pass if offered.

I would love to show her grace.  I would love to say I’m sorry for all her pain and sorrow.  But I can’t.

Don’t let the past dictate your present.  Let it go.  Forgive.

Receive the gift, the grace given

Give thanks

The result?

Joy

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