Learning Along The Way

Learning to Wait

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I’m not sure if anyone has ever asked this question in a poll of popular opinion: “What are your thoughts about having to wait?”, but I’d like to imagine that universally people don’t like it.

We are born learning to wait. Crying for food or clean diapers, as an infant we have to wait. Birthdays, summer vacation, Christmas: frustrate a child who must learn to wait. Babies take 9 months to develop prior to birth. Farmers plant crops and wait for them to spout and grow.

Of course if you live in a heavily populated area you might have this view daily:

traffic in mountain viewLearning to wait is a skill that is imposed in the order of the universe.  Some things are easier to wait for or through; others seem to demand far more skill at the game of waiting.

Young moms can’t wait until a child sleeps through the night; is potty trained; starts Kindergarten so the moms can have time to themselves again.  I heard these words when I was in those early physically demanding years of parenting: “treasure these times. They go by so fast.” I smiled and said thank you while thinking “easy for you to say; you’re not the one getting up at 2:00 AM or changing diapers…”

But now I’m the one saying the same thing to young moms. And since my memory is still mostly intact, I remember what I thought so I imagine they smile at me through similar, barely tolerant, thoughts.

How can we learn to wait well in the season we’re living?

By slowing down. Learning to see. To hear. To appreciate what is.

I mentioned I am reading a great book by Jeff Goins, “The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing.”  I find I am highlighting a lot of quotable statements and phrases of Jeff’s. Good authors are noteworthy. They make you think, reflect and hopefully germinate seeds of growth and change.  One of the many great things is this:

“we were made to wait, to long for things unseen.  This is the place from which dreams and desires come. It’s a place of trust–and we find it not in the resolution, but in the incompletion.”

I ponder and ponder his statement: we were made to wait. I think if we were made to wait it would be easier to do, like breathing. But waiting is a discipline; a learned skill.  Anything we learn we must go through the cycle of learning: practice, make mistakes, adjust, try again, repeat.

Is it possible to be free of the challenge that waiting brings? Do we have to simply muddle through? Is there a source of help to get better at waiting? Yes I think it’s possible.  Have I arrived there yet? No way!

Like so many things in life, waiting well is skill learned through process of trial/practice/error.  The critical piece is what we do with the error.  Grace or guilt? Gain wisdom or grow bitter?

Wait isn’t on the list of spiritual disciplines directly but it’s implied. Learning to wait is part of our spiritual development. Patience is in the list of fruit of the Spirit of God.  Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God.”

Learning to wait is God’s idea.  What we do in response to His idea can be our personal measure of our own spiritual maturity; not to judge others but to see where we are still growing.

I am learning to wait well. I don’t wait well yet. Process.  How about you?

 

 

From 1st to 2nd and the In Between

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I have been silent. Hours of time spent by myself in silence.
What used to be something I filled with too many things now is actually a comfort to me. I have been learning to let go and to wait in ways I have never before had opportunity.

There is loss and longing that I face. I don’t deny.

It’s our first Christmas out of our home of 15 years. Our college son flew in from his out of state U and then in a whirlwind hour and a half was out the door driving to our former town. To see friends. To work the holidays where his summer job offered time. Beautiful to have work. And friends to welcome him in.

He is facing the changes in his own way.  It’s not his home anymore. Our home where the Hubster and I live will always have a place for our children to stay when they come, but the childhood home? That’s gone.

He sent me this picture yesterdayResizedImage951387231694075His kitty, who lives with our neighbors now. If you look closely you can see his hand in the reflection. She was inside. He couldn’t hold her. She would lie in his arms like a baby. I ache.

I have been reading a lot in this season.  Wonderful books. Encouraging. Deepening. Challenging books. A Million Little Ways by Emily P Freeman in which she helps us see. A Confident Heart by Renee Swope in which she helps us look at ourselves through the lens of Truth.  Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey (more on that later!). I have also been reading an Advent devotional called Emmanuel published by She Reads Truth.

I am reminded that this is not my home, that I am a sojourner here, not just here but HERE. I am living between the 1st and 2nd. Jesus’ Birth the first Advent of Jesus. The looking forward to His 2nd return as King. How am I doing?

All of these writings have given me encouragement, comfort and a sense of being understood. I am the poeima of God, made to live the art that is my life. I no longer need live in the shadows of the past. I am gifted to serve the community in unique ways.

This too early out of bed morning I began Jeff Goins latest book The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing. And right there in the introduction was a gem for this day: “The challenge is what we do with these times, how we use–or waste–our waiting.  The slower times contain a wealth of wisdom for us to tap into, but only when we recognize them.”

How am I doing? I am learning. To believe what is true. To be honest when it hurts. To be open to possibilities. graceTo give grace to those around me who are also living life in the open. In between the now and not yet.

There is JOY in this place. So many people and circumstances for which to be thankful. Change is hard but change is good. Only God is constant.

Only God.

Lessons Learned

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I am really enjoying reading other writers’ work.  Blogs, books, ebooks, even tweets! I have had a steady diet of dead people’s writing for many years and they continue to influence my thoughts but lately I am really energized by current work.

For example, Jeff Goins.  I first learned of Jeff’s work through Michael Hyatt (another writer I am influenced by).  I read a couple of Jeff’s posts and subscribed to his blog via email.  That’s a great way to stay connected with writers you enjoy (you can subscribe to my blog that way too! hint, hint)

Since I just wrote about Journeys, I was excited to read Jeff’s email; he posted about journeys that day as well.  And I wasn’t disappointed!

He does this so well I want you to benefit from his work.  The following is excerpted from Jeff Goins’ email to his subscribers on Monday, Sept.30

10 lessons we learn from journeys

Journeys are important — both physical ones as well as figurative ones. They help remind us that we are not done yet, that life itself is a trip that we can make the most of or completely miss the point.

So here are 10 brief lessons I learned from my trip. Maybe they’ll help you on whatever journey you’re taking:

  1. No journey is perfect. Take one, anyway. You will grow regardless.
  2. The destination is never quite what we expect. But without one, we wander aimlessly. So having a final arrival point is important if for no other reason than it gets you started.
  3. Only when we let go of what we think we deserve can we really enjoy what we have.
  4. Inspiration is everywhere. You just need eyes to see it. Yes, even in cornfields.
  5. The hard part isn’t getting from point A to B. It’s paying attention to what’s around you before you miss it.
  6. A journey is less meaningful when traveled alone. We need community to make the most of all experiences, even if that means finding it along the way.
  7. Art helps us process. A good book or great record not only helps pass the time; it gives language to an experience you might otherwise not be able to describe.
  8. Gratitude makes any experience better. It’s easy to want to be home or some place else but we have no control over that. Turns out all we can control is our attitude. So why not be thankful?
  9. The best journeys have a purpose. But expect to be surprised and even see that purpose change.
  10. If you accomplish nothing, see nothing, even feel nothing, take heart. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve changed. And this is reason enough to continue traveling.  Also you can click over to his site and subscribe to his blog.

I am doing my own reflecting on our journeys of this summer and fall (as the season has now changed).

What about you?  How are Jeff’s lessons similar to your experiences?  How are they different?

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