Learning Along The Way

Are You Hanging onto Fear?

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Two days this week I came to the computer with ideas about being brave and found I had nothing to say. I was stuck. I told myself its ok come back later, but of course, later never came. I didn’t guard time to write, so time wasn’t there.

I wrestled with why I challenged myself to work through this devotional 100 Days to Brave? I questioned my sanity, my purpose, my raison d’ etre (five years of studying French peeks out on occasion)

I came to an existential crisis point. Why do I want to tell you to let go of what’s holding you back and lean into the unique creation you are? Why do I want to encourage you to be brave, to learn what that looks like in your life, to take a first step?

I want to help women connect with the passions God has placed in them for their good, for other’s good, and most of all, for God’s glory. Click To Tweet

I have been hanging onto fear. Fear that no one will care about this message. Fear that these words go no where, that writing and speaking this message is a waste of time and money. Fear that I’m not listening to God’s Word accurately and I’m doing this for my own selfish gain. Fear of resistance, of ridicule, of rejection.

Getting honest about fear is a bit scary; as I continue to learn about myself through the lens of the Enneagram, it makes more sense why I get scared. At my core, I don’t want to feel pain. I want to have fun. I avoid conflict because conflict is painful and looking at the underside of my emotions is hard work.

But God.

My two favorite words in Scripture. Best search I ever worked through; try it.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I came to my time with Him this morning without an agenda. I simply wanted to sit in His Presence and have coffee with Jesus. After I read the portions of Scripture in my Bible reading plan, I read today’s entry for Jesus Calling. 

Take time to be still in My Presence. The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always proffer to you.

I got comfortable in my chair, held my warm cup of coffee and sat quietly looking outside through the sliding glass door into our garden space. I watched the changing morning light illumine the persimmon tree in our neighbor’s yard, the orange-red fruit standing out against the green leaves. I noticed a finch search the feeder for just the right seed. What caught my attention was a hummingbird lighting on the bubbling water feature. It dipped its beak into the water hovering slightly above the water spilling over the slick turquoise orb, then all of a sudden, the hummingbird sat in the center of the bubbler and began to take a bath.

The freedom, the enthusiasm, the fearlessness all spoke to me in the hummingbird’s hesitation, then the jumping in. As I watched, these lyrics crept up to my consciousness

So let go my soul and trust in Him

And just like the shifting morning light, the awareness of my fears paled in the Light of this phrase.

So let go my soul and trust in Him

I was being invited forward. Come, Further up and Further in.

The invitation is for you too, my friend.

I see your face in my mind; your eyes rimmed with tears you’re blinking back; your brave smile trembling.

He is for you, just like He’s for me. God wants His daughters to walk in freedom; to be able to live as He has designed each of us; moment by moment learning from Him the unforced rhythms of grace.

The invitation to Come to Me isn’t a one time invitation. Jesus invites us again and again and again. You might take your eyes off of Him for a myriad of reasons; Come to Me remains the same, simple invitation. 

Learn from Me, watch how I do it. 

I’ve been hanging on to fear. I’ve been clinging to things that have weighed me down, hindering me from the life purpose God has given me. 

Right now, I’m choosing to be brave, to share my inner struggles to help you see you’re not alone in yours. The beauty is the precious invitation to Come is whispering at the edge of your conscious thought; listen and respond.

Let go and lean in.

You won’t regret it.

Perhaps you’re wondering how to get started? Or how to get back?  

Call a friend. Message me. Comment below (I read them before they get published so if you don’t want your comment published, tell me.) 

Bravely take the first step.

I leave you with this beautiful offering. Enjoy.

It is Well 

Perfectionism Keeps Us From Jesus

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I had something gently pointed out to me three different ways between yesterday and this morning.

All three were foundational and revealing.

Perfectionism keeps me from Jesus.

Yesterday demonstrated what a piece of work I am. Fault finding, critical, irritable about everything. Wanting to have things go the way it should go. And at the time I didn’t mind sharing all my angst with the entire world; most closely noticed by the Hubster and our collegiate son. Not fun for anyone.

Perfectionism is the outer shell trying to appear to have life all together. All the while the inner world is filled with insecurity, uncertainty, and sometimes shame. Perfectionism is me trying to fix myself, control my circumstances and rely on my own understanding.

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Before the end of my emotionally chaotic day the Spirit whispered to me; inviting me to confess my failed attempts at keeping myself together while my toxic feelings leaked out. I took Him up on that invitation, pressing the RESET button for the remainder of the evening after a tearful confession of my internal struggles that impacted the external.

This morning I read Jesus Calling and it reminded me not to try to present my cleaned up self to Jesus; “wounds that I shut away from the Light of My Love will fester and become wormy…they can split off and develop lives of their own…”

Then I also read My Utmost for His Highest entry for today.

‘If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish—His purpose is the process itself.”

The foundation is Jesus. He is here with me and there with you all.the.time. The foundational truth is based in His one invitation:

Come to Me.

That’s it. In the turmoil of unresolved issues that foment emotional upheaval we can find rest for our souls. Click To Tweet

I don’t have to try to fix me or my circumstances. Neither do you.

Whatever you are facing, the Perfect Invitation awaits your response.

Come to Me.

Your circumstances are not likely to change. I know, bummer.

But here’s the miracle: you are offered the opportunity to be changed from within by the Presence of God Himself. That’s what spiritual formation is like. Choosing to say yes to Jesus’s invitation to come to Him, quiet your mind, heart and soul and be at rest in His Presence. The coming to Jesus results in His peace that passes all understanding. This peace is a result of letting go of our idea of how things should be and leaning into the yoke that helps keep us in step and keep company with Jesus.

Relax. He’s got this. His purpose is the process itself.

*Sigh*

Where have you seen perfectionism get in the way of relationship with Jesus and others?

Learning to Believe

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photo(33)I know life is hard sometimes.  Some days are worse than others.  Some Mondays you just want a do over by the end of the day.

There’ll be days like this my momma said…

But you don’t have to throw in the towel, or bury your head under the pillow, or distract yourself with TV or incessant snacking.

Nope. You have other choices. Choices for your growth. For your good. For others’ good too. You can choose learning.  Learning to Believe.

Learning to Believe you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.  Learning to Believe God’s plans for you are for your welfare and not to harm you. (even when today doesn’t make sense) Learning to Believe you have the capacity to forgive the hurt that poured out on you from another today.  Learning to Believe Truth.

Someone once told me that Faith is like a muscle.  You need to exercise it to strengthen it.  How do you exercise Faith?

Learning to Believe what may not make sense at first. Sometimes we need reminding of Truth. Actually, daily we need reminding. Why? Because we are forgetful people. Something doesn’t turn out the way we thought it would or should or could and we freak out. Why? Because we are broken people. We need reminding!

Reminders come in so many ways: a beautiful sunrise (if you’re up early!); birds chirping; a time of silence when the littles are napping; an email from a friend; an entry in Jesus Calling. He reminds us to Believe Him. To Trust Him. To grow our Faith in Him.

We need people around us who can be our co-workers in learning to Believe. We need people who can be like Aaron and Hur were to Moses; helping him lift up his hands in prayer to the Lord while the battle raged on in front of him.  It’s a great story: read it in Exodus 17.

Who are your encouragers? Your prayer partners? Your cheerleaders? You’re co-workers in learning to Believe? We all need them.

Sometimes the hardest part of learning to Believe is being willing to risk sharing our very real needs.  Instead of being authentic with others we believe a lie: we don’t want to impose, be a burden, or too much trouble; yet if someone asked you for a listening ear or for help, would you turn away from them?

Learning to Believe you are worth the trouble is sometimes one of the biggest hurdles of faith.  Somehow we aren’t treasured and affirmed the way God sees us and we believe lies about ourselves.  Learning to Believe God’s Truth about who you are is an exercise of faith. Daily.

Don’t give up! You can do this!  Like any kind of learning, it’s filled with practice and mistakes.  The best part of this is: God has got your back!  He is in this learning process with you for the rest of your days!

What are you currently learning to Believe?  How may I be an encourager to you today?

Focus. Practice. Sacrifice.

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A constant focus on adversity defeats many Christians. They walk through a day that is brimming with beauty and brightness, seeing only the grayness of their thoughts. Neglecting the practice of giving thanks has darkened their mindsIt’s Monday. Sometimes just saying ‘it’s Monday’ can bring a deep sigh; a ‘here we go again’ mindset about the daily grind. After a longer break from routine for most, this Monday may have more challenges than usual. This morning I read the day’s entry from the devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and was reminded of a few things.
* Giving thanks takes focus give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess. 5:18)

* Giving thanks takes practice … and be thankful; …with thankfulness in your hearts; …giving thanks to God (Col.3: 15,16,17)

* Giving thanks is a sacrifice Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. (Heb. 13:15)

Focus. Practice. Sacrifice.

These are words that are associated with training, with work; and work takes effort.

Many friends have made the effort and used social media this month to name what they are thankful for on a daily basis. I have been blessed and encouraged by their posts. You may be one of them. I am thankful to God for you as you live out …let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24)

So if today you’re focusing on the drudgery of your responsibilities, may I suggest a shift in focus? Look for things to be thankful for. Name them. Thank God for each one.

Practice thanking God for the little things. This work has a promise attached to it:
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7)

And who among us couldn’t benefit from a peace that passes all understanding in the middle of our day?

New Direction

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My husband was laid off on Thursday.  His work was no longer needed by the company.  That was it. No severance, no two weeks notice, just work through this Wednesday the end of the pay period and good bye.

Now mind you on that particular day I was in the throes of preparing and finalizing details for a retreat I had been asked to lead on Saturday.  So at that time, my response was “Really?!? What a timely distraction from where my mind and heart need to be!  It’s obvious God wants to do a great work on Saturday!”  I didn’t melt into a puddle of tears, I asked my prayer warrior friends to jump in and I simply trusted God.  I didn’t start to worry about what and how and where and why. Not then.

Today however is a new day and the temptation to worry that is common to us all was present again.  I found myself swift to my to do list; taking control of the things I knew needed doing that I had in my power to do.  Three hours into my day, after neglecting my regular habit of entering into the day slowly by having coffee with Jesus, I stopped midstream and sat down and cried.  I cried out my worry, my fear of the unknown, all the pent up hurts from sudden and uncontrolled change in my life to date.  And just as suddenly as the flood came on, it receded.  I picked up my devotional, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, and read today’s entry:

“Waiting, trusting, and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain.  Trusting is the central strand, because it is the response from My children that I desire the most.  Waiting and hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me.  Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me.”

This was a love gift; a tangible reminder of love and provision even when I don’t see HOW. or WHERE. or WHAT. or I don’t know WHY.

GOD, the Maker of the heavens and earth and all created things, KNOWS.  He CARES.  He reminded me of this picture that I took at Christmas of 2008.  It was the first Christmas without both my Mom and Dad.  I saw this sign as just that; a sign to remind me that living in the past was just as it reads: Dead End.

In the same way, when I go down the path of thinking about what if? or how will? or why? it’s the same Dead End.  The knowing belongs to the One who is Omniscient (All Knowing).  What belongs to me is to Trust.  Thank you Sarah Young for your writing such a great devotional book.  Thank you Lord for Your perfect timing of this gift of words to remind me, and hopefully you as you have read this, that GOD is STILL in CONTROL!

I don’t know details, but I know the One who does!  How about you?  Where do you put your trust?  If you’re in a place of unknowing I’d love to hear from you.  Leave a comment or email me.  We can be in this together!

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