Learning Along The Way

Living Things Grow; Growing Things Change

By

IMG_7821

Living Things Grow; Growing Things Change

I first heard these words on Christine Caine’s podcast; Coffee with Chris. I was on a walk through our new neighborhood and her words really pierced into me since we had just landed in a new area after 15 years in the same home.  What a challenging season that was. In some ways I am only now lifting my head consistently after almost 3 years.

I had lost the sense of how hard moving was; not just the physical, but emotional move, when leaving friends and family and familiar is involved. I had lived in the same area for almost 30 years! Changing residences always involved the physical hard work of packing and sorting; giving away and throwing away. But this move? It involved the letting go of the home where we raised our sons, the friends and church we had lived among for nearly 2 decades, our pets, and all the familiarity of streets, best coffee shops, outdoor opportunities within a moment of walking out our front door.

Letting go was hard for me. I slipped into the cavern of depression where light peeked in from far above me. Finding a place to rent that fit our simple list: 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a gas range and a garage was harder than you’d think. What we didn’t realize at the time, because we were strangers to this new area, was our ideal price range was not going to find those creature comforts.  Coming from owning literally 2 times the amount of space to renting for 3 times our mortgage at home made me angry. It still does. But it is what it is.

The anger over less than ideal rentals (we’re now in our second place; a story for another time) wasn’t helping my overall attitude either.  I’ve heard that depression is anger turned inward. I don’t know if that is completely accurate but I knew that I needed to get out of the cavern somehow.  Getting outside and active was a first step. Interject the words I heard on my walk: Living things grow; growing things change.

If I am living then I will be growing AND changing. Those two words are to be expected not rejected. This is not our final home; why do I keep thinking everything needs to be hunky dory all the time? Some might call this magical thinking. In coaching we call it mindset.  Part of my work needed to be in the arena of self-acceptance instead of self-recrimination. A change in mindset.

In letting go I had to acknowledge I was focusing on what wasn’t, instead of being thankful for what is.  That awareness was the first step to real change.  To really lean in I needed to embrace change instead of being mad at it.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-7

I look at these verses and I see the progression, the process of growth. Growth causes change. I don’t want to stay the same. I want to be in the process of letting go and leaning in; of becoming my utmost for His highest.

IMG_4472

In this season of Lent I am doing this very thing, one action at a time.

Where do you find yourself today? Are you in the cavern of depression? Or are you buried under a pile of to dos? Wherever it is you’re not alone. Reach out to someone who can bear witness to where you are and what you’re going through.

You may comment here; it comes to my inbox before going live. If you want to simply connect with me let me know and I won’t publish your comment.

We’re not meant to shoulder this life alone.

40 Days of Learning to Let Go & Lean In

By

 

 

Quiet chords from the organ float through the air as I sit staring at the huge wooden cross at the front of the sanctuary. It is indeed a sanctuary; no loud voices or even footsteps confront my thoughts. I study the 13 pieces of rectangular turquoise glass that allow light to filter through from behind the cross. I wonder why 13?

The light outside is fading; the west facing windows are darkening their stained glass images fading. I wonder about a lot of things on this evening of Ash Wednesday.  Candles on the altar are lit and someone slowly brings the dimly lit sanctuary into more full light. We’re told to open our Wesleyan hymnals to And Can It Be?  My ten year old perspective on faith is youthful and full of questions: why did Jesus die? And why for me?

Today marks 48 more trips around the sun since that evening long ago. I haven’t always marked Ash Wednesday with questions and reflection but this year 2016 I want to be intentional and ask questions.

Perhaps you have asked them too?

The season of Lent begins with Ash Wednesday, a day of remembrance and confession. We remember what Christ came to do and has accomplished on the Cross in our place. We confess the many reasons that awful punishment was meant for each of us; but because of mercy and love we receive grace instead.  Some fellowships will mark the foreheads of believers with a Cross of ashes (usually from the burning of last year’s Palm Sunday palms) as a remembrance that our physical body will undergo death and decay while our soul will live on with God.

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior’s blood?

Died He for me, who caused His pain—

For me, who Him to death pursued?

Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Let’s spend the next 40 days Learning to Let Go of so much…pre-conceived notions and mindsets; old hurts; unforgiveness; physical items that don’t bring joy; you name it!  Let’s spend the next 40 days Learning to Lean In… toward the freedom offered us as we respond to God’s Word-Jesus and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

I’m going to present a daily challenge, a new way of being perhaps, for each of us to practice.  They will be fun, creative and will hopefully draw you closer to Jesus.  Lent isn’t intended to be an add on to your full life; it’s intent is to bring your awareness of God more regularly in view within your regular life. Pretty regular, eh?

So here’s a regular challenge: look around you right now. What is one item in your view that you can see that reminds you of an act not yet taken care of?  Confess it. What is another item in your view that brings a smile to your face? Who can you thank for it?

IMG_7921

 

1,2,3 Deedle Deedle Dee (3 New Ideas for You)

By

You may have noticed the name of my website; chosen specifically to fit the way I move through the world. Funny thing that still surprises my me-centered world: not everyone is like me! I forget we don’t all learn the same way, we don’t all care about the same things and we’re not motivated in the same ways.

So here I am, learning along the way. And I still get excited to share what I learn, like I am still an eager child in a classroom frantically waving my hand, hoping against hope that you’ll get excited too; that you’ll be encouraged or challenged as I was when I learned this new thing or read this new book or saw this new movie.

Maybe you get excited by some of things I share, and perhaps you’re not all interested. That’s okay really. I just hope you’ll keep stopping by to see if there might be something you are interested in hearing about. In my continued passion for learning I’ve gotten derailed lately from the sharing what I’ve learned; I’ve started telling myself no one cares but me, so why bother writing these things out anyway?

And then I tell myself truth: my story matters. And so does yours. How I see and think may resonate with you and give expression to a thought or feeling that you’ve held but hadn’t brought to the surface yet.

So I write again.

I learned there’s a name for what I really like to do; curate.

 Curator–a person who selects content for presentation, as on a website.

I love to curate information, distill, share and recommend. I’d rather point to others’ works and how they’ve impacted me; how I think you would benefit from reading/hearing/learning from them, too.

Today I learned three new things! This is a big day and it’s only midday!

#1 I learned that when you risk speaking about a fragile part of yourself, people respond gently and with grace; way differently than I imagine.

Then later in catching up with email I read what Michael Hyatt had to say about a new book, Scary Close by Donald Miller. I haven’t read it yet but from the post I’m intrigued. Eager to learn more…

 

street love gift session 3

#2 When I let my fear of failure take the stage I don’t fully show up for myself or others. My fears cause me to veil myself, being somewhat myself but not fully myself. I heard last Sunday that the opposite of Faith isn’t Doubt. The opposite of Faith is Fear. So when any fear that I have is allowed to step forward and lead me then I am not believing God is big enough or strong enough or faithful enough or whatever enough. I don’t like that option. So I practiced #1 today. And I was encouraged. My brokenness isn’t pretty but God can bring His beauty out of it. He can do the same with you.

#3 Reading the words of others on the path to God’s Heart can shine light on my next step. True confession: I don’t read blogs daily. I make time for blog reading regularly but not daily. And yet, I am often blessed, encouraged or challenged by the words of fellow bloggers. Two days ago, over at A Holy Experience, Ann Voskamp wrote about failing at Lent. Kind of a funny thought really but true to her form of expression, I was caught off guard. This quote…

 It is an irrefutable law: One needs to be dispossessed of all the possessions that possess us — before one can be possessed of God.

Let the things of this world fall away so the soul can fall in love with God. 

I have learned the practice of spiritual habits is so important; during Lent I especially want to enter into what God is already doing. Being reminded again of how I cling to the familiar, to people and things of this world, being possessed by them, really took me by surprise today.

 #1 risk being vulnerable

#2 take fear down by building trust in God

#3 read to be encouraged to grow.

 

There you go! 1,2,3. Deedle deedle dee!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Pinballs, Tandem Bicycles and Lent Hold Hands

By

I’ve been reflecting on one verse of scripture today. Well truth be told I’ve been thinking about this for almost 2 years. It’s been bouncing around in my head, bumping up against my to do list of laundry, dishes, email, responsibilities and deadlines; you know the list.

 

Every time it bumps into something in my head it feels like a light goes on. One thing has stood out over and over: God is the initiator. He started this whole change process. Let me back up and explain.

The verse I’ve been reflecting on is Romans 12:1

I urge you therefore brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship.

For a long time (like 20 years long time) I’ve looked at this verse as part of what I’m supposed to do as a Christian. The focus has been on me. But that perspective is changing.

By the mercies of God…

Five little words that have been bouncing around in my head like the silver ball in a pinball machine (do you know what a pinball machine is?)

14676208819_e10b521715photo credit: Williams Expo via photopin (license)

lighting up the objects it bumps into before it drops through the hole at the bottom; these 5 words all rolled together as one phrase.

By the mercies of God.

Any thing I do regarding the rest of this verse happens by the mercies of God. So then I want to know: What are the mercies of God?

Earlier in Romans we’re told that while we were still sinners, still enemies of God, He sent His only Son Jesus to pay the required sin sacrifice to buy us back from the enemy of our souls. (Rom. 5:8)

Telling you this much information without context is like walking into the family room in the middle of a movie that everyone else is focused on and you don’t know what’s going on. The point?

God is the Initiator.

He is the Creator, Sustainer, Equipper, Comforter, Provider, and the list goes on.

So by the mercies of God I am able to present my body, my whole self, as a living and holy sacrifice which is acceptable to God … do you see it? By God and to God. God is the Initiator.

 But what are His mercies?

So many places in the Bible speak of the mercy or mercies of God. And like so many words that get said over and over I had to stop and remind myself exactly what the word mercy means.

 Mercy–compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

God, Who created, ex nihilo (out of nothing) has within His power the right to punish or harm us for falling short of His perfect Law. But from the very beginning of humanity’s rebellion, God initiated a Way back to Him. He promised to send a Savior for humanity. (Gen. 3)

God is the Initiator.

By His mercies we are objects of Love not objects of wrath. By His mercies we can be forgiven for our fallen nature and every act or thought of rebellion against His Way. (Eph. 2:3; Col.1:21)

By His mercies we are invited close, called sons & daughters, co-inheritors with His Son. (Eph 2:13; Heb. 9:15; 1 Pet. 1:4)

By His mercies we are transformed, changed into the likeness, into the family resemblance of Christ. (Eph. 4:24)

Bottom line here: it is God Who is at work in us and through us. He is the Initiator.

Our responsibility is to live life in tandem with Him. A tandem bicycle is not designed side by side but one in front of the other. A captain and a stoker.

5037863006_d1712dfe0aphoto credit: Tandem bike from 1904 via photopin (license)

He’s the One in front, steering, braking, shifting, guiding.  He invites us to join Him.

All we have to do is stay on the bike, on the saddle and peddle in sync with His power, His direction, His will.

As we begin this season of Lent I encourage you to ponder, to reflect, to listen, to let go. Let a portion of God’s Word bounce around in your head like your own pinball machine.  Think about what it would take to be on a tandem bike with God the Initiator.  Let these images and ideas hold hands during this season.

We have been given the gift of responding to His love, to His plan, to His sacrifice for us.

This adventure is amazing!

 

 

 

 

Reflections on the Cost of Being Frugal

By

This past week of Lent has been very challenging for me.  Not because the theme has been frugality.  But in thinking of all the ways my husband and I have battled the culture and its influences for over 20 years in this specific area has really caused me to see what some of the costs have been to live a frugal life style.

And the hard part is the battle of resentment toward others. For being misunderstood.  For not seeing the value in the long run and ridiculing us for our choices.  For whining at me to “aw come on just this once” in trying to get me to go against my DH and his leadership.

It is not easy to see my black heart.  In fact it sickens me.  Oh how I need saving from myself!

Yes, we have chosen again and again to be like salmon. Going upstream against the current of culture. Making quiet sacrifices for the benefit of our sons and those who are less fortunate than ourselves.  I am not talking about these sacrifices for any one of you who read this to think “Wow what a super Christian Lisa is!” or even for you to think I am tooting my own horn and then say “How dare she point out all that she has done!”  Nope.  I am simply counting the cost of a frugal life.

I have died daily.  I want nice, brand new clothes. From Nordstrom or Dillards or Bloomingdales.  I want to remodel the bathrooms and use expensive materials and not do the work myself.  Actually I want to buy a bigger house already done up to the nines with acreage so I can have horses.  I want a new car every three years with all the bells and whistles.  I want. I want. I want.

Blegh!

I retired early from teaching; 1993 was the last year I was full time employed in a school district.  At that time I laid down my identity as a teacher to take up the identity of a stay at home mom.  Going from two professional salaries to one caused some upheaval for me.  Ask my DH.  He’s a saint to have stayed committed to me and this marriage.

This one was just 4 and 1/2 years old when I left teaching.  His smiles and fun loving personality made being at home and helping in his classroom at school a joy!

During his next two years there was a baby to come who went on ahead to wait for us and then this one joined our family.

Two sons.  So blessed.

Lots of work, folding, cleaning, reading, singing, camping, changing, growing, praying, learning, repeat.

The sacrifices of stuff compared to the time I had with them was the cost of a frugal life.

 

As I was folding the socks today and praying for the feet of the one still at home, it hit me.

The cost of a frugal life has been spent on the character of these two men.  I was struck by the realization.

And then struck by my own pettiness in holding onto the hurts from being misunderstood for our choices.  The cost of a frugal life has been real.  It has been external.  It has been temporal.

The money, career, prestige, and stuff will burn.  Who these men are toward God, His people and each other is eternal.

All I can do is say Thank You Lord for using what was hard for me to do without to in turn benefit others in ways I may never know.

Cycling By

By

This week of Lent has been hard; further confirming how I need a Savior.

I am lazy.  I look for ways out of doing what is hard.  I rationalize.  I excuse.  I want what is easy and comfortable.

This photo above was taken in 2011 when my dear husband (DH) and I took a two week trip to France for our 20th wedding anniversary.  Looks fun doesn’t it?

It was and is fun to ride a bicycle.

I reminded myself of that this week as I made myself ride my bike to work and back each day.  6 miles round trip.  Mostly flat and about 22 minutes (slow cycling!)

I pushed myself both for the exercise and for the practice of frugality which has been the theme this week of Lent.  Spend less/ give generously.

I love giving!  But I also love my comforts.  Driving 3 miles to work takes 7 minutes.  Do the math: it takes 3 times as long for me to ride as to drive.  But what is time except a non-renewable resource given to us to steward?

So I challenged myself to get on my own bike and get going.

I am happy to say I followed through.  Not a huge financial savings fuel wise but a big step in the right direction for me to use this bike for my transportation as I was doing in the fall before the time change and colder, wetter weather.

No excuses left but laziness and poor time management.

And you?  What have you been learning about yourself as you are going through this season of Lent?

Pulling Back the Covers

By

I love the beginning of a new day.  Really.

The one difficult step to get me going is pulling.back.the.covers.

If I don’t do that right away I will stay in the same place too long!

I see this photo as a picture of God pulling back the covers on the morning.

The theme of this week in my Lent devotional of Frugality: Less Spending/More Peace is like pulling back the covers.

What drives me to spend more than I know I should? What is guiding my actions in those times? What is consuming my thoughts?

When I actually commit to pulling back the covers I get right up and get going.

When I truly see what is behind my spending habits I am able to make conscious decisions with money.

It is a tool.  Not an idol.

What happens when you pull back the covers on these thoughts?

 

 

Blessings of Simplicity

By

I just want to sigh.

This streamlined, simplified closet with the entire wardrobe color integrated and interchangeable, does my heart good.  Thanks to Staci Gerardi of November Sunflower for this peaceful image!

To me this image epitomizes simplicity.  And frugality.  Less is More.

The 3rd week of this Lenten season has focused on Simplicity: Less Stuff/More Freedom

This week I have been silent here.  Not because I haven’t had anything to write about.  I have been dealing with myself before God.

I hang on.  I struggle with letting go.  Stuff holds memories.  What happens to the memories if I let go of the stuff?

Having Stuff also represents other false selves: wealth, status, security.  Stuff can serve to insulate us from our inner life which might be too painful to deal with. Stuff can distract from relationships.

Stuff owns us; not the other way around.

SO this week I went through each cupboard, closet, drawer, shelf and bin removing stuff that no longer serves a purpose in my life.  Some landed in the trash, some went specifically to other people whom I thought might be blessed by an item, and most went to Mission Thrift, a local store I like to support.

There is so much more to do.  But I began the physical process.

Now about the spiritual process.  I faced fears I didn’t realize I had: what if I need that? What if we can’t financially replace that?  What if one of the kids wanted that? (least likely issue by the way!) What if by not having that item I forget? (I’m forgetting a lot more these days anyway…both wisdom and forgetfulness arrived with gray hair!)

I hear the Lord speaking to me in His Word: “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God that passes all comprehension will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4: 6-7)  And over a few more pages: “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thess. 5:16-18)

So I give away the fears, the stuff and give thanks to the One who originally provided the means to receive the stuff in the first place and Who knows my every real need and will provide for me all the Way until I see Him face to face.

Less Stuff/More Freedom

Amen and Amen

 

 

 

Less Really is More

By

Yesterday I didn’t post, I experienced.

This week of Lent the focus has been the spiritual discipline of fasting. This discipline challenges me. I don’t remember a time when I truly fasted for spiritual reasons. I remember lots of attempts and just as many failures. Medical fasts yes, spiritual, no.

I think I was afraid. Not sure of what, but fear is something that I felt as I read the first entry in my Lenten devotional, Less is More. Maybe i feared failure again? As the week went on I faced the unknown fear head on; fasting differently each day ( one meal, a couple of days and then two meals). Thursday night I purposed to fast through until dinner Friday.

The devotional question on Friday was a contemplative one: How does fasting connect us with the life of God, the lives of others?

It’s a great question.

Being invited into the Life of the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is an invitation open to all Christ followers, but how much do I treasure the invitation? Am I so constantly busy that I can’t slow down enough to hear or see?

Yesterday I slowed. The day was fairly routine; I walked the dog, pulled weeds, did laundry, cleaned a portion of the house, did dishes. Nothing spectacular. But it was different. God was in it with me in a new way.

Every time I try to write what the day was like, words escape. Here’s one: Joy-filled. Peaceful. Good. Self-control. Yes, I experienced the Fruit of the Spirit in new ways. It was definitely worth it.

When hunger rumbled, I thought about Haiti. I thought about Sri Lanka. India. Inner city LA. The homeless in our community. Children around the world. My hunger was temporary; theirs often ending only when they see the Face of God.

This experience was blessed. I will endeavor a fast again.

What have been your experiences with fasting?

What Does the Mirror Show?

By

I have inherited this beautiful mirror.  It is over 100 years old.  If you look closely you may notice the mirror itself has dark lines going across it horizontally; the silver on the back has worn off in places.

People have suggested I get a new mirror for the frame.  For some reason, I haven’t thought it necessary.

It reflects.

Isn’t that what a mirror is supposed to do?

As I look into it I imagine all the faces of family members that I have never met; wondering what they looked like,  what they were like.

What were the styles of their day?  What were the cares they wore?  Who was uppermost in their heart?

Lots of wondering. So I haven’t changed the glass.

As I consider why I haven’t changed the mirror I realize something else, something about this mirror that is similar to what I am experiencing in this season of Lent: the image is distorted.

I don’t see myself, my flaws, my bad habits, my petty annoyances or anything about me with any degree of accuracy while my mirror is distorting me.

But if I look long at the mirror of Scripture I see how much I need a makeover; to be made new by the work of the Holy Spirit.

This week of Lent is about doing without. Doing without the ways I hide from this work.  Doing without props that keep me hidden.

About fasting.  Less consumption/More compassion.

The mirror of Scripture has shown me my need for Christ.

As I look deeply, I don’t receive guilt or condemnation though. I receive compassion.  Forgiveness.  Grace.

What does the mirror you look at show you?

 

Follow Me…

Categories