parenting

#1 Investment Strategy for Parents

September 11, 2014 By Lisa Lewis

Our economy is based on investments. Short term vs long term; high vs low yield. Where is the best place to put your money? The answers vary; they depend on who you’re talking to, who you’re listening to. With so many voices it’s hard to know what is truly best. That can be scary when you’re a young family saving for college, or an individual trying to make wise investments for the future. So many variables; so many ideas.

Financial investment strategies are valuable but don’t have the long term pay off parents truly need. You are wise to plan and save; there is no doubt about that. But what legacy will you leave your family beyond the material? What is the #1 investment strategy for parents?

I heard a great message on Tuesday from Sue Donaldson. She spoke to a group of moms about A Mother’s Legacy. Sue spoke with humor and wit but also interjected thoughts to ponder.

It caused me to reflect on my own sons and wondered what I have left for them. Interestingly, within an hour of driving away from the event, each of my sons called me to touch base and ask me for something. Prayer.

It dawned on me that God was showing me what my legacy will be for them…that I was a praying momma.

What a humbling thing, to be shown how one is seen.

I wasn’t always a woman of prayer. I was a woman of worry, fear and mistrust. I lived by ‘if it’s to be it’s up to me’ for so many years.

But God…

gave me sweet opportunities to learn from His Word as I sat rocking these baby boys. He taught me to lift up my worries to Him. To ask Him for favor, for their salvation, physical safety, development of their minds. He gave me words to pray back to Him like those at the end of

Psalm 91:14-16. I have prayed with each of their names inserted where the pronouns are:

“Because (he) has loved Me, therefore I will deliver (him); I will set (him) securely on high, because (he) has known My name.

(He) will call upon Me, and I will answer (him); I will be with (him) in trouble; I will rescue (him), and honor (him).

With a long life I will satisfy (him) and let (him) behold My salvation.”

He gave me a sense of purpose to spend the quiet times like those lifting up my dreams of who these babies would one day be, of the men they would grow into many years in the future. I developed the practice of using my laundry time to pray for the 10 year old feet who wore the once white socks; to pray for the arms that would go stronger over time, that they would become the men God desires them to be.

Now they are men. One is married to a beautiful, Christ-following woman. She was prayed for long before he met her. They serve God in His kingdom building purposes as church planters in Utah. The other son is in college, a sophomore Gator at UF, 3000 miles away.

I miss them. A lot. But God…

is with them, in them and guiding them in the lives He has planned for them.

Just as this simple momma asked Him again and again.

My prayers are not my prayers alone. The One Who answers is also the One Who leads us to come be with Him in the quiet place where our soul can breathe out the burdens and worries and breathe in His peace in return.

God has taught me to rest in Him. He has got these babies/boys/men.

Trusting God. Talking with Him about everything. What a gift that He gave me years ago; the gift of prayer.

A gift of investment. Of time, of heart, of hope. You deposit your meager prayers like I did.

Ask Him. He longs to hear your words, pleas, worries and fears. He will transform those investments (and you!) over time.

It is your #1 investment strategy that will pay huge dividends both now and eternity future!

Breaking the Silence

June 20, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

I want to begin with an apology. I’m sorry I haven’t written. I’m sure you’ve wondered what’s been going on and why you haven’t heard from me. Well, like most lives, mine got full and something had to be set – aside for a time. I unfortunately chose my writing. But there has been so much going on to write about that I have to get started again!

A significant season has come to an end in my life. It wasn’t sudden; I saw the signs of the change coming. But it has ended. I exhale and realize that all I focused my life on for 25 years has shifted. The season of parenting has come to an end. *sniff*

No one has died; but my two chicks have grown to adults and have flown from the nest. And that is how it should be. But there is a temptation to sadness in looking back over their childhood and youthful years and remembering all the hurts or left undones. I don’t know about you but I must choose to see all the goods and well dones too. My tendencies are toward the not enough rather than good enough.

But as I look at the men I have had the distinct privilege of raising the only thing I do see is the goodness of God. He loves well. He has grown these little boys into strong, capable, compassionate men in spite of my meddling in His work. I am left with the knowledge that God built them to be who they are; my dear husband and I were the stewards, the caretakers of them for a time. Now we have given them back. We still have opportunity to influence through prayer and the giving of occasional sought out advice but they are done being parented.

So now what do I do with myself?

Ideas? I have some but I’d love to hear yours!

Life Lessons: Learning in the Classroom of Mom

May 8, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

Have you ever stopped to take inventory of what you life lessons you’ve learned from your Mom? I don’t mean the lessons where she told you “I want you to know how to do this”. I mean the lessons that were “caught” not “taught”.

I have. They are many. I confess I am not as good at them as she was in doing them. But I learned from her the most important value.

Invest in people.

My Mom was an Educator. She taught English and Journalism and Leadership. She inspired students to go to college; to step out of their comfort zones; to dare to go beyond what they thought they could do.

She invested in her colleagues in the same way. She gave without asking for any favors in return. When she was in charge as a high school principal she made sure others had opportunities to step forward in their careers.

She invested. I watched. I learned.

She built up her teaching staff through involvement in site and district wide professional development. Life long learning was something she modeled and preached.

She invested. I watched. I learned.

My Mom loved her friends. She invested herself in life long friendships. This particular group were friends in college. They laughed. They cried. They traveled. They remained friends to the end. The three of this group who remain all came alongside me during my time of grief.

She invested. I watched. I hope I have learned.

My Mom LOVED her grandsons. She invested in them. Every. opportunity. she. had. She read to them. She played with them. She encouraged their imaginations. She fostered their creativity. She taught them about far away places. She took them there. She inspired them to be great men.

She invested. I watched. I was blessed.

In the desire for balance in all things, I would be remiss if I did not account for the life lessons my Mom showed me. I learned to push past my fears and hardships to take steps forward in ways many others have not been encouraged to do in their own lives. I definitely would not be the woman I am without the influence of my Mother. God knew what He was about in the design of this woman who was my Mother. He knew what I needed to be able to grow and change; to learn to be my utmost for His highest.

I am still learning in the classroom of Mom.

What about you? What is one life lesson you’ve caught from your Mom?

Practical Relationship Tools

March 23, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

I have been privileged to visit in the home of a young family who loves and serves the Lord in an area where He is not known as He is. This lovely plaque hangs in a prominent place, telling in words what their lives show practically.

Second Chances. We serve a God Who is all about forgiveness, repentance and second chances. How wonderful to demonstrate these truths in our relationships.

What would your home be like if you lived by this list?

What would our friendships be like?

Our work relationships? Neighborhoods? Churches?

We can’t live like this in our own strength. We want our way. If we’re wronged we want justice. We want someone to step toward us first.

Who do you need to offer a second chance to? Who do you need to ask for a second chance from? What can you do today?

Reflections on the Cost of Being Frugal

March 16, 2013 By Lisa Lewis

This past week of Lent has been very challenging for me. Not because the theme has been frugality. But in thinking of all the ways my husband and I have battled the culture and its influences for over 20 years in this specific area has really caused me to see what some of the costs have been to live a frugal life style.

And the hard part is the battle of resentment toward others. For being misunderstood. For not seeing the value in the long run and ridiculing us for our choices. For whining at me to “aw come on just this once” in trying to get me to go against my DH and his leadership.

It is not easy to see my black heart. In fact it sickens me. Oh how I need saving from myself!

Yes, we have chosen again and again to be like salmon. Going upstream against the current of culture. Making quiet sacrifices for the benefit of our sons and those who are less fortunate than ourselves. I am not talking about these sacrifices for any one of you who read this to think “Wow what a super Christian Lisa is!” or even for you to think I am tooting my own horn and then say “How dare she point out all that she has done!” Nope. I am simply counting the cost of a frugal life.

I have died daily. I want nice, brand new clothes. From Nordstrom or Dillards or Bloomingdales. I want to remodel the bathrooms and use expensive materials and not do the work myself. Actually I want to buy a bigger house already done up to the nines with acreage so I can have horses. I want a new car every three years with all the bells and whistles. I want. I want. I want.

Blegh!

I retired early from teaching; 1993 was the last year I was full time employed in a school district. At that time I laid down my identity as a teacher to take up the identity of a stay at home mom. Going from two professional salaries to one caused some upheaval for me. Ask my DH. He’s a saint to have stayed committed to me and this marriage.

This one was just 4 and 1/2 years old when I left teaching. His smiles and fun loving personality made being at home and helping in his classroom at school a joy!

During his next two years there was a baby to come who went on ahead to wait for us and then this one joined our family.

Two sons. So blessed.

Lots of work, folding, cleaning, reading, singing, camping, changing, growing, praying, learning, repeat.

The sacrifices of stuff compared to the time I had with them was the cost of a frugal life.

As I was folding the socks today and praying for the feet of the one still at home, it hit me.

The cost of a frugal life has been spent on the character of these two men. I was struck by the realization.

And then struck by my own pettiness in holding onto the hurts from being misunderstood for our choices. The cost of a frugal life has been real. It has been external. It has been temporal.

The money, career, prestige, and stuff will burn. Who these men are toward God, His people and each other is eternal.

All I can do is say Thank You Lord for using what was hard for me to do without to in turn benefit others in ways I may never know.