Learning Along The Way

It’s Simply Tuesday

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Three years ago I had the privilege of being on the launch team for this amazing book

Three years later the principles in Emily’s writing are still sifting through to the bedrock of my soul.

It’s Simply Tuesday.

A regular ordinary day that includes morning habits, errands, laundry, paying bills; you know, normal and ordinary.

 

But these days are precious to me now. Small moment living has become the norm since we are empty-nesters. What I once grieved and rejected, I now see as a beautiful gift, perfectly timed.

I am a slow learner.

When I was 37 I gave birth to our second son. A year and a half prior, we lost a baby at 14 weeks. The world calls that a miscarriage. I called it God’s wake up call.

You see, I had plans for how life would work. I was in charge of my destiny: a second marriage underway, a new home, my dream vehicle in the driveway; now it was time to add to our family. Pregnant in April, plan to take it easy through the summer, baby due at the end of December (tax break!) All moving along as I intended. Until July, 1993.

It was the loss of that baby that took my attention off my self-focus and back on God. Don’t think for a minute God punished me for my selfishness, because that doesn’t line up with His character or His Word. ( For example, Psalm 136:1; Romans 8:1) But I do know that He lovingly shepherds His children and corrects them along the Way (Heb. 12:7) This loss got my attention.

How does this tie in with Tuesdays you ask? He has gently led me along since then, showing me the benefit of quiet, solitude, and contemplation; even when I didn’t appreciate it.

I learned the value of simple moments; of folding laundry as a moment to pray for the feet that fit the socks I matched; of dishes dirtied with sandwich crumbs held by six year-old hands; of a vinyl floor needing to be mopped, yet again, and reminded to be grateful for home.

Children grow, nap times wane and running ragged matched our schedule of lessons, sports, Scouts, Church. Small moments flew without notice; I turned around and the house was full of good wishes for the high school graduate I had given birth to in 1995. Where did the time go?

The temptation to regret, to long for once was, to mourn were all things I chose to walk through. I don’t know how life might have looked over these past five years if I had daily celebrated the beginning of the season of empty-nest; but I do know that in the small moments of my sorrow, God met me with tenderness and compassion that I wouldn’t trade for a billion dollars. Nope. Not a one.

Here’s the point friend: Your small moments are precious; to your soul and to God. He cares about the details. Look for Him in them. Your soul moves at a pace that is nearly imperceptible by our nano-second attention spans. Relax. Celebrate the small. Whether you… Click To Tweet

As we consider together what it means to show up in life, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of being kind to yourself as you practice; whether you’re focusing on work, life or faith, be gracious as you try to connect the dots and make sense of it all.

We all need an encouraging word; please share what gems you’ve discovered along the Way!

What 10 Essentials Will Reduce Your Stress Level?

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Is it possible to pare down your daily preparation to only 10 essentials?

Do you believe that 10 Essential items will reduce stress?

Not only is it possible, it happens. Read on. My list and rationale may intrigue you.

School is starting again in the US. How does that affect you? Are you a parent breathing a sigh of relief? Thankful for the teachers taking the baton of your children’s education; keeping them busy for 6.5 hours Monday – Friday until next June?

box of crayons

(photo: Rebecca Pierce via http://unsplash)

Or are you someone who is inconvenienced by traffic in your neighborhood with  parents dropping off or picking up at school?

children looking at phone

(photo: Sarah Gundersen via http://unsplash)

Praying for those professionals who commit their careers to educating the littles and impacting the future is an essential. They need prayers of many. I know. I was one of them.

I still frame my year with August as the beginning, gearing up with new routines, readying for a new schedule and habits. How about you? What are you looking forward to as the present season of summer wanes and autumn comes upon us? How are you preparing for the next part of your journey?

A photo by Samantha Sophia. unsplash.com/photos/NaWKMlp3tVs

(photo: Samantha Sophia via http://unsplash)

Preparation comes in big and little ways. When our boys were little we had a “launch pad” for each of them near the front door; their place for backpacks filled with completed homework, their sharing item and lunch. It was the easy way for them to learn to prepare for the day.

By the time they were in middle school they had developed the personal habit of planning ahead. Being in Scouts helped a lot, too.

This is the official list of 10 Essentials to Be Prepared as a Boy Scout. Maybe you haven’t heard of this list before; our home had two Scouts and a Scoutmaster so the 10 Essentials became a natural way to pack for any trip, short or long. Their many weekend trips shaped great habits of preparing for their journeys.

Map and Compass

Sun Protection

Extra Clothing

Flashlight

First-Aid Kit

Matches and Fire-starters

Pocketknife

Trail Food

Filled Water Bottle

Rain Gear

You may not be packing to go on a hike every day, but I believe there are 10 Essentials that will help us be prepared daily for what comes our way. I submit that preparation reduces stress levels.

I created my 10 essentials list by counting physical and spiritual items. These may already be a part of your daily preparation list. Perhaps you have others.

Here’s my list:

Lighting a 3 wick candle and saying good morning to Father, Son, and Holy Spirit

Time in silence with God

Coffee with half and half

Reading a one page devotional (Jesus Calling or My Utmost for His Highest or both)

Praying for my husband, my family, and my day ( a good time to pray for those teachers!)

Lip Gloss for my Smile

Wallet & Keys

Sunglasses

Water bottle

Phone

The first 5 items on my list can take as little as 15 minutes in the morning and up to an hour if I have the time. The time I invest packing the first 5 items impacts the rest of my day. All day. The second 5 items might feel like obvious inclusions, yet daily I hear people say: “I don’t have my id”, or “where are my sunglasses?”,  or “I forgot my phone in the car”. Those items seem to elude their daily packing.

Having all 10 items reduces my stress. No matter what else happens, taking time early to remind myself of God’s Presence and sovereignty helps me throughout the day.

The final item on my 10 Essentials list may induce stress but that’s a different story! We’ve become a connected culture and a phone is a part of how life works now.

What items are on your daily essentials list? How do you reduce stress daily?

Bearing Up Under the Weight

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My heart is heavy for many families.

Right now the news is filled with reports of gun violence—again.

Our nation’s collective memory is short when it comes to gun violence. Columbine. 1999.  Wait—Kent State. 1970. Wait—John F. Kennedy. 1963 Wait—Abraham Lincoln. 1865.

Guns kill. That’s what they’re made for. Animals. People.

Do we remember which is which anymore?

A mere month ago 49 people were killed in Orlando. 49 families lost someone they loved.

The parents of the children gunned down at Sandy Hook Elementary are still grieving their loss. You may have forgotten how long ago (or recent) that horrific event took place. (2012) None of them have forgotten.

Now in a mere 48 hours 7 more people have senselessly been gunned down. Execution style or sniper. Does it really matter?

My heart is heavy for the families. I know what it feels like to lose someone in a moment at the end of the barrel of a gun.

My Dad turned his own gun on himself in 2008, shattering our family and his body simultaneously.

Is it the gun’s fault? Hardly. It’s an inanimate object. A gun becomes a weapon when wielded toward a target; whether animal or person.

We argue for rights. The arguments are heated. The answers, the solutions are vague, uncertain. Perhaps we have come too far down this path for a peaceful resolution. Perhaps we are not done with hearing another report of shots fired, of lives lost, of families shattered.

How do we bear up under the weight of all this loss? How do we have a civilized conversation about guns in light of all this violence? What about deeper issues of mental health or hopelessness or racial and religious divides?

Our country is assailed by gun violence. If someone lives different or looks different or believes a different doctrine than someone with a gun there is a chance they’ll be gunned down.

Are you kidding me? When will all this madness end?

We are broken. Individually. Brokenness is the human condition. Collectively we are apparently spinning out of control. How does one person bear up under the weight?

There is One Person waiting to hear from each of us.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

(James 4:8)

In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world.

(John 16:33)

Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.

(Matthew 11:28-29)

When Jesus saw his friends grieving the loss of their brother, He didn’t lecture. He wept. Then He prayed.

A good model for how to bear up under the weight of grief. Not platitudes. Practical.

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Prayer is my chance to bring my heavy heart to the only One who can shoulder this heavy weight. Looking at Jesus and how He was present in His friends’ grief, silent and empathetic without platitudes or promises, helps me to know how I may bear up under this heavy weight of grief.

Jesus is not the poster boy for the NRA or the Republican Party. Or ANY party.

He is God.

Draw near to Him.

#1 Investment Strategy for Parents

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Our economy is based on investments.  Short term vs long term; high vs low yield. Where is the best place to put your money? The answers vary; they depend on who you’re talking to, who you’re listening to. With so many voices it’s hard to know what is truly best.  That can be scary when you’re a young family saving for college, or an individual trying to make wise investments for the future.  So many variables; so many ideas.

Financial investment strategies are valuable but don’t have the long term pay off parents truly need.  You are wise to plan and save; there is no doubt about that.  But what legacy will you leave your family beyond the material?  What is the #1 investment strategy for parents?

I heard a great message on Tuesday from Sue Donaldson.  She spoke to a group of moms about A Mother’s Legacy.  Sue spoke with humor and wit but also interjected thoughts to ponder.

It caused me to reflect on my own sons and wondered what I have left for them.  Interestingly, within an hour of driving away from the event, each of my sons called me to touch base and ask me for something.  Prayer.

baby Matthew

It dawned on me that God was showing me what my legacy will be for them…that I was a praying momma.

baby Mark

What a humbling thing, to be shown how one is seen.

I wasn’t always a woman of prayer.  I was a woman of worry, fear and mistrust.  I lived by ‘if it’s to be it’s up to me’ for so many years.

But God…

gave me sweet opportunities to learn from His Word as I sat rocking these baby boys. He taught me to lift up my worries to Him.  To ask Him for favor, for their salvation, physical safety, development of their minds.  He gave me words to pray back to Him like those at the end of

Psalm 91:14-16. I have prayed with each of their names inserted where the pronouns are:

“Because (he) has loved Me, therefore I will deliver (him); I will set (him) securely on high, because (he) has known My name. 

(He) will call upon Me, and I will answer (him); I will be with (him) in trouble; I will rescue (him), and honor (him).

With a long life I will satisfy (him) and let (him) behold My salvation.”

He gave me a sense of purpose to spend the quiet times like those lifting up my dreams of who these babies would one day be, of the men they would grow into many years in the future.  I developed the practice of using my laundry time to pray for the 10 year old feet who wore the once white socks; to pray for the arms that would go stronger over time, that they would become the men God desires them to be.

Now they are men.  One is married to a beautiful, Christ-following woman.  She was prayed for long before he met her.  They serve God in His kingdom building purposes as church planters in Utah.  The other son is in college, a sophomore Gator at UF, 3000 miles away.

I miss them. A lot. But God…

is with them, in them and guiding them in the lives He has planned for them.

Just as this simple momma asked Him again and again.

My prayers are not my prayers alone.  The One Who answers is also the One Who leads us to come be with Him in the quiet place where our soul can breathe out the burdens and worries and breathe in His peace in return.

God has taught me to rest in Him.  He has got these babies/boys/men.

Trusting God. Talking with Him about everything.  What a gift that He gave me years ago; the gift of prayer.

A gift of investment. Of time, of heart, of hope.  You deposit your meager prayers like I did.

Ask Him.  He longs to hear your words, pleas, worries and fears.  He will transform those investments (and you!) over time.

It is your #1 investment strategy that will pay huge dividends both now and eternity future!

Learning to Walk

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1530455_567223723366141_300730910_nSometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, LIFE is HARD.

There I said it for you. For me. Our definition of hard may not be the same. No Matter. Hard is hard.

What we do with that reality tells a lot about us. Do we complain? (my worst character flaw) Do we whine? (another of my problems) Or do we learn to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which we have been called?

We can change you know.  Not always our circumstances. But always our response to our circumstances.

I am encouraging myself here folks.  When I spend an excessive amount of time navel gazing I find myself mired in self-pity and full of whining & complaining (twins born of the same toxic ilk!)

I really am a female version of the Apostle Peter. Impetuous. Loud. Speaking before thinking. And looking at Jesus then looking away and down at my circumstances. Every once in a while it’s good to lift up my head, look around and consider the realities, not my perceptions.

The result? A made – new perspective. Counting gifts, paying attention to others’ real needs, stepping out of myself and serving others, all help me to get my focus off my own issues and aware of the greater needs around me.

Today’s photo comes from a community of people who are risking for and trusting God in authenticity; in the middle of very real life challenges.  Cancer. Abuse. Dark nights of the Soul.

Reading about their journeys may help you in yours. It certainly has helped me.

As you go about this Sabbath day, be reminded of a few vital truths as a Christ-follower: He is well acquainted with suffering; He told us we will have tribulation in this world, and He has overcome it; we have the opportunity to share in the fellowship of His sufferings; He will never leave you or forget you; His Holy Spirit is in you and He is your Comforter and Strength.

If you are struggling to believe any of these things, let’s talk.  My prayer for you today is that you are

Learning to walk…

Perspectives

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I looked out the hotel window this morning to see this view. The mountains are magnificent. Yes down in the foreground are brown trees, railroad tracks, interstate 15 and a parking lot.

But just look at the mountains! Where I live we have mountains. But they’re not this tall nor covered in snow!

Seeing all the distractions in the foreground could definitely distract from the resplendent beauty; if you let it.

This picture is rather like life isn’t it? All the laundry, dishes, chores, work outside of the home, can easily distract us from the resplendent beauty of the relationships around us. We are wearied by all the doing and going. We miss the chance to sit with our friend, or child or spouse and simply BE together.

When I saw this vista these words came to mind:

I hope you will “look to the mountains and know where your help comes from”

I’m praying for you this week!

Short List

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This is week 5 of my Lent devotional experience. It has been good and hard at the same time.

This week’s theme focus is on something that I have been working on for years (and am still learning to be at ease with)

Intercessory Prayer.

That may sound like something for monks and nuns but it’s not really.

To intercede simply means to go before a judge on behalf of another. In this case it means that we go before God’s throne and pray for others and not just our own needs.

Imagine what your life would be like if you weren’t focused only on yourself.

Praying for the needs of others helps me in so many ways: I am learning to develop the sense that Paul wrote to us in his letter to the Philippians: ” do not think of your needs only but consider the needs of others, think of others more importantly than yourself”. I also gain greater perspective on my own life by thinking about and considering others’ needs; my own problems sometimes simply don’t occupy my mind when I am thinking about the needs of others and the difficulties others are facing.

Years ago I heard a speaker use this illustration: imagine that we carry a backpack of our problems and were asked to lay the pack down in the center of the room to let go of them for awhile. She then said imagine going to the pile of backpacks and choosing one that wasn’t your own, a surprising thing would happen. We would see the problems of others as larger than our own and we would want our own familiar load back again. The speaker further challenged us to be looking to the needs of others as a way to change our perspective on the load we carry.

Probably because I have battled the poor me syndrome for as long as I can remember this illustration was a good one for me. Someone else might not have gotten anything out of it. But I did. And I have tried to live with this perspective since then.

It is such a privilege to be asked to pray for someone. I imagine walking into the Throne room and sitting down with Jesus and telling Him about my friend or someone I heard about and what they are facing and asking Him to help them know that He is with them in this hard time, asking Him to strengthen them as they need, asking Him to comfort them in their loss. Interceding for others is what Jesus does ALL the TIME. Why not join Him?

 

Sunday Celebrations: Wonderful Wedding!

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This weekend my husband and I drove 6 hours south to attend a young friend’s wedding.  This was the backdrop for their ceremony.  Outdoors, among God’s wonderful handiwork of oaks, sage and grasses.

He was the center of the wedding.  I pray He remains center of their marriage.

Marriage is God’s thing, our Pastor Tim says at each wedding I have heard him officiate.  This was not one of his ceremonies.  The pastor who was there invited each person to recognize this wedding, this marriage, was not just about two people; it was (and is) about the community of life in Christ.

A wedding is a celebration of the beginning of a marriage.  We all have a responsibility to the newly wed couple.

To celebrate with them on their wedding day.  And so much more.

To pray for them.

To intentionally invest in their developing relationship when things get tough by pointing them to Christ and back to each other.

To laugh with them, cry with them as the years go by.

To help them find answers to big questions.

To pray for them (yes I mentioned that before but we can’t ever pray too much!)

To eat cake with them on their wedding day (isn’t it beautiful?)  (The cake topper was designed by my friend Lisa Leonard.  You can find it and more lovelies on her site.)

To toast them.

To love them as Christ loves us and help them love each other in the same manner.

Weddings are joyful beginnings.

Marriages are meant to be joyful marathons.

Stronger daily.  Trusting more.  Yielding more.

Weddings remind those of us who are married why we said yes to our spouse in the first place!

And why we’d say yes again.

We’re reminded to pray for each other more.

Seek wise counsel when we are trying to answer life’s big questions.

Rely on one another more.

Support one another more.

Have fun together…more!

I love weddings.  They are so hope-full!

Been to a wedding lately?

 

Sitting with an Empty Chair

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Nearing the end of the first full week of Lent, I am blessed and challenged by this thought:

In the practice of Solitude is God’s invitation to “come sit with Me”.

Solitude does take practice.  It is noisy in the world.  I make it noisy by adding commitments and tasks that take up my time for solitude.  I excuse away the call to “Come away by yourself and rest” because I am busy doing things…for Jesus right?

He doesn’t need me to do anything.  He wants me to be with Him.  Simply be.

Alone with Him. In Solitude. *sigh* The Creator and Sustainer of Life wants me to be with Him.  That is all.  Just be.

I am blessed and challenged.

The challenge comes in the letting go of my routine, my to do list, my false source and sense of value.  The challenge is to accept that time alone with God, just hanging out with Him, is of primary value.

That Solitude is valuable.  That Solitude, time apart from the world, is valuable to God.

Solitude takes practice.  For me, years of practice. (I am a slow learner).  I first came in contact with the idea of spending time alone with God without an agenda, without my never ending prayer request list, 5 years after I began walking with Christ.  In 1986.  This idea of just meeting with Jesus came through the form of a tiny booklet, My Heart Christ’s Home, by Robert Boyd Munger.  It is an allegory using the illustration of your life and heart as Christ’s new home based on the Truth that Christ lives in us when we have accepted Him as Savior and Lord.

If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it!

This empty chair is symbolic for me.  There is another one, to the right of it, where I sit.  Every morning when I am home, I get up, get my coffee and sit in my chair to have coffee with Jesus.  My google calendar says that “Coffee with Jesus” as a marked off hour at the beginning of each day.  I love my time sitting with an empty chair.  Just hanging out with Jesus is getting easier; not always asking “please fix this broken relationship” or “please change me in this attitude” but simply enjoying the silence and focusing on the reality of His Presence.

Solitude takes practice.  This season of Lent is the perfect time to practice slowing down, making space in your day, your mind, your heart, to be alone with Jesus.

Are you avoiding this?  What is keeping you from sitting?

Hush.  Listen well. The Chair is not Empty.

 

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