Who’s in Charge Here?
On the second day of this #write31days series I shared how beneficial being mentored had been for me. Having a mentor speak into my life was literally transformational. I am not the same woman I used to be thanks to the Lord intervening through Peggy’s willingness to speak the Truth in love.
Because of our friendship Peggy earned the right to give me earnest counsel. She saw up close where my heart was turning bitter and gently pointed it out. She helped me consider another way of being and thinking as a wife that I had not seen in my family of origin. We talked about the “S” word and I learned that Biblical submission is not about holding down a woman’s will and making her a doormat to step on. There would be no demeaning of my humanity as it is perceived in the world view of submission.
I was on my second marriage at this point and things weren’t going so well. In fact, this second marriage was starting to have elements of my first marriage. Had I made another tragic mistake? Or could it be the issue was in the common denominator in these two marriages? Oh wait! That would be me! Peggy spoke into my life a very hard truth: I had to stop looking back at the marriage that didn’t last, seek healing and learn to live & grow in the marriage I was in. I was no longer the other guy’s wife and so for this young second marriage to be healthy I would need to do some changing. Hmmm.
Peggy shared a different picture of submission this way: imagine you are standing in the pouring rain without an umbrella. Along comes your husband with an umbrella and invites you to stand under it. You don’t have to but you choose to. The rain represents the full weight of responsibility of life. The umbrella represents a covering that the husband provides; a way of doing life together. Yes you can have your own umbrella and be independent but when you share an umbrella you can learn to walk together more closely. Sometimes it’s awkward and adjusting has to happen. But as the umbrella covers us from the rain, so learning to come under the headship God provides is the covering of submission.
Peggy’s umbrella picture stuck with me. I began asking God to show me how I could love my husband, how I could love God better through practicing acts of submission. What would I gain? What would I lose? Those were questions I began to wrestle with in prayer before God.
It’s a big idea, submission. It’s a perfect concept that has been misused and misunderstood for millennia. I can’t unpack all that I have learned in one sitting. But I want to share with you the beauty and freedom that comes when Biblical submission is lived out. I’m not in charge. God is. He’s really the One sitting in the front seat on the tandem of my life.
I know this topic stirs up lots of thoughts…share them in the comments and let’s open the discussion okay?
What a great illustration. Submission is a difficult thing in our marriage. I struggle with letting go he struggles with leading. I think we have never truly understood the biblical meaning. Would love to talk with you more about this topic. ?
You’re not alone Nancy! We still ask the question Who’s in Charge here, sometimes! And yes, I’d love to talk with you too!