Learning Along The Way

What Changes When You’re Brave?

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I’ve been reflecting on this question: What Changes When You’re Brave, Lisa?

I’m wondering if there is a monumental shift of focus? 

Do you go out and do courageous acts like this?

 

Photo by Sammie Vasquez on Unsplash

Or this?

Photo by Leio McLaren (@leiomclaren) on Unsplash

Although I think these images demonstrate two women being brave in big ways, I don’t think these are the only ways people change when they’re being brave. We change in ways that often go unseen.

We change inside. To be brave means we need courage. The latin root of courage is cor which is heart.

(photo by Lisa Lewis)

Courage is an act of heart. Being brave means we have an internal shift away from staying stuck in fear of _____________ and a movement toward demonstrating the strength of heart that it takes to be brave.

Where can we find strength of heart?

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

As I’ve considered what’s been shifting for me through reading Annie F. Downs’ 100 Days to Brave,

what stands out are the ways God is helping me be more honest with myself, seeing areas that still need changing, without diminishing the challenge that change brings, or without disregarding the work I’ve put in so far. His grace toward me, toward you is never ending. I am so thankful.

Did you know that she has started another 100 Days to Brave Facebook group? Check it out!

But even with reading her great devotional for the past 98 days, what keeps me from bravely doing the next right thing on any given day? At any given moment? 

I’ve narrowed it down to one of two things: fear of failure and/or expectations. The fear of failure keeps me from trying to make a change. Expectations are just loaded with potential landmines to step in; they usually look like disappointing myself or someone else by not being good enough.

I’ve been putting into practice some coaching techniques I know; testing them out on myself to see if they will be helpful for others. And guess what? They’re working!

Like anything we do that is new, the first time we try the new thing, we may meet with resistance; either from inside or outside ourself. Either way, the resistance to change is where we need to apply courage to push through the resistance.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

Because the focus of my coaching is helping women connect the dots of work, life and faith, I see the need for tools to help us apply what we may already know. We still allow resistance to hold us back from connecting the dots and seeing the Way to live wholeheartedly. This can be what changes when we’re brave. Facing the resistance and pushing through to the other side.

Years ago when I was considering the name for this website, it struck me that all of life is about learning. But wholehearted living is learning to live along the Way, with a capital W. The question for me centers on how do I live a regular life keeping my eyes on Jesus? How did He live His earthly life? And now that the Helper has taken up residence in me, how am I to live as I continue learning along the Way?

With this question in mind, I’ve been putting together a course, a series of lessons with activities focusing on learning to let go of expectations and fears and learning to lean in toward the unique path Jesus has for each of us.

Lots of people develop courses and put them up for sale. I’d like to do that too eventually. But first, I’d like to run a Beta test group and I want to offer the course free to you, my dear readers.

Free. 

What have you got to lose?

This course will be six weeks in length. There aren’t grades. But like anything, you will get out of the course what you put into it. But I do want your feedback. I value suggestions. I want to know if you think there needs to be more or less material in different topics that we’ll encounter. Or if you think of something fun to add to what is already in place. That’s what a beta tester does. Gets great stuff for free and then gets to give their opinions and helpful input.

Will you help me?

All you need to do is respond to this post by Friday, Jan. 11.

You’ve given me your email already. I won’t be talking about the course here weekly, you’ll receive the material in a separate email.

The start date will be next Monday, Jan. 14.

So, who’s in?

#letgoleanin

 

Why is Being Brave Such a Challenge?

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Fifty days have passed since I started this journey. When I considered doing this I honestly thought: 100 Days to Brave would be a cake walk for me; I’ve had to learn to be brave through so many hardships already, how hard could it be?

Like a lot of things I’ve walked through, I continue to be surprised by things that catch my breath and not always in a good way at first.

Why is being brave such a challenge?

My Hubster told our little boys “you can’t be brave unless you face fear.” I thought that was a beautiful thing to say to teach them to be strong men. He did a great job. They are both strong & brave men; living their lives in new cities with new circumstances; contributing to the world in the roles they fill. I’m a proud & blessed Momma. But their brave challenges have not been my brave challenges. I have my own and honestly they’re not easy for me to walk through.

Annie’s book is pressing in on relationships and how they call us to be brave. Like Annie, I’m an Enneagram 7 who doesn’t like pain, who likes to reframe hard things to minimize the pain, distracting myself from hurt, and often walking away from discomfort without leaning into the painful communication that working through hard things requires.

I know that might surprise you since I write about growing and changing and letting go of expectations; learning along the Way to lean into the yoke that Jesus has uniquely fit for each of us. Yet I am challenged.

It’s hard to let go of hurt and cast my cares on Jesus. Why? Because when I’ve been hurt, I want  others to know, to experience at least a piece of the pain I feel. It’s not rational. It’s emotional. Those are two different parts of me. Learning to bring them together to one cohesive unit within me is the challenge and I choose to be brave. 

Five years have passed since we left the part of California I had lived for 29 years. Five years is long enough to have gotten involved in a new community, made new friends and moved forward in life. It’s more than a little embarrassing to recognize I’ve been like Lot’s wife looking over my shoulder instead of keeping my face forward. The move was hard and painful for me. It seemed some of the people I had spent so much life with simply forgot me.  In the trying to move forward, I was also mourning what was no longer; there was a still small voice whispering “worship”. I turned to Spotify to a Hillsong Worship playlist I’ve listened to countless times. Comforting. Familiar. Yet this time I heard with new ears:

In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making New Wine.

In the soil I now surrender, you are breaking new ground.

So I yield to you into Your careful hand and I trust You I don’t need to understand.

Make me a vessel, make me an offering, make me whatever You want me to be.

I came here with nothing but all You have given me; Jesus bring New Wine out of me.

Tears flowed. It is not easy for me to let go of something. And I can be unpleasant in the process. Ask my Husbter. Poor man. He’s a saint. These words from Hillsong could not be more personal. I felt Holy Spirit telling me the crushing, the pressing was for my good, but most of all that God would be seen in me as others watched me navigate these waters. He would receive the glory in my choice to let go of disappointment.

Cuz where there is new wine there is new power; 

there is new freedom and the kingdom is here 

I lay down my old flames to carry your new fire today.

You see in every letting go we have a choice: to cling to hurt, to let bitterness take hold or to hold out open hands, fingers spread so that what’s in them falls through like water pouring over our fingers, washing them so that nothing of selfish thoughts are left, only an openness to what God has ahead.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

It’s a laying down of the old ways, the ‘old flames’ to carry the new fire we are being offered. He won’t force us. It’s His offering to us out of what He has already done.

This my dear friend is why being brave is such a challenge. We only see what we know. Sometimes we think that is all there is. And if we don’t get what we thought we needed or deserved, then we are disappointed. There’s nothing wrong with disappointments. Its what we do with the disappointments that makes the difference. Do we re-hash them, making them stronger in our minds, in the emotional place where disappointment can turn to resentment then into bitterness? Or is there a different, better Way?

Let go, lean in. It’s more than my hashtag. It is a gracious invitation from the One who has walked the path of truly letting go; who offers the invitation to learn from Him, who offers us rest for our souls.

Make me a vessel, make me an offering. 

Jesus bring new wine out of me.

I know this place. It can feel lonely. But here’s the thing: you are never truly alone if you’ve claimed the offering Jesus made on your behalf; Holy Spirit walks within you giving you what you NEED.  But even then, sometimes we need another to bear witness to this hard part of our journey. As I coach others in spiritual formation, I have been given the privilege of holding open the Sacred Space of listening, the seeking of God’s wisdom together and the gift of presence. It’s a beautiful process.

If you’re walking through a challenging time and want to learn to walk more closely with the One who loves you well, message me.

Where there is New Wine there is new freedom. And the Kingdom is here.

Don’t we want that?

Enjoy listening to New Wine

What Do You Expect From Learning Along the Way?

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I want to say a quick Welcome to those who have recently joined the community here as we learn along the Way.

It’s been awhile since I touched base like this; I decided it’s overdue!

Photo by Artem Bali on Unsplash

You can expect a weekly email digest with a glimpse of each post I’ve published during the week. You’re always welcome to go directly to the website during the week, but I want to keep the email clutter low. You’ll get one email from me each week on Monday morning.

Some things I want to commit to:

Encouragement

I make it my focus to bring a bit of myself when I write but also a bit of the One to Whom my life is oriented: the triune God, Father, Son & Holy Spirit. I have found in my journey that so many of my stressors and worries and fears can all be calmed and made new in Christ. I want that for everyone.

Inspiration

I desire to help you my readers to see the Way open up before you; to be able to see possibilities of how your life may expand beyond the limits you are experiencing. Like Emily Dickinson

I Dwell in Possibilities

Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

Some things I hope for:

Growing Community

Women need each other. We see and engage differently than men; no matter how terrific your SO may be, as a man he just doesn’t always “get it”. It’s good to have a community where you can be heard and valued without too much clarification.

Humor

Photo by Will Myers on Unsplash

I think we need to laugh more! This is an area where I am still learning so if you are a person who has humor coming out of your pores, I would love to have you bring it in our comments!

Confidentiality

As a coach, I live by confidentiality. I want you to know if you want to comment on a post, but don’t want others to see your words, I moderate the comments before they’re posted. You have freedom to share with me; I won’t share your thoughts if you don’t want me to.

Engagement

I post on other social media outlets: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest buttons are on my website if you’d like to join me there. I’d love that! The more the merrier!

I would love to hear what you desire and expect from reading my words. Many of you have heard me speak at an event or MOPS, where I shared about margin, creating balance, or as I used to tell our sons, “make wise choices”. All of these themes are entry points for me in connecting the dots of work, life and faith to inspire you to live your one with-God life wholeheartedly.

 

What’s Keeping Your Head Down, Girlfriend?

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Saturday I created a writer’s retreat for myself.

The Hubster was in Chicago visiting our son, so instead of being Eeyore and saying ‘Woe is me I am all alone” I planned to use the day for writing and reading.

I went to the store ahead of time, got some healthy and not so healthy snacks, veggies for soup, and came home for the weekend.

Intentional alone time to be quiet, to listen, and to capture the thoughts that percolated to the top.

I have to say it was a successful day!

But like so many things I do, I was focused with my head down, and I almost missed this:

I was stunned that I had been so consumed with what I was doing, my head down, focused on what I thought was most important at the time, that this almost escaped my view.

So I watched. He got my attention.

It was a glorious sunset. God painted the sky and I watched the colors shift with the changing light.

My perspective remained the same; He shifted the world as if to remind me that what I can see is not all there is.

I wonder, what else might I be missing when my head is down, focused on what I deem important in the moment? When daily routines require attention, do I miss the wave of a neighbor while I sweep? Or the flutter of a butterfly around the flowers?

There have been times when I’ve been “too busy” to reach out to a friend when the Spirit prompts me, only later to learn she was grieving and feeling alone at the time when I didn’t lift my head from my work.

This begs the question: Whose time is it anyway? My time? My way? My work?

I sigh, realizing I missed an opportunity to be God’s gift of encouragement to another.

I share this to help us both remember our time isn’t really ours; time is gift God gives us to steward for His glory and others’ good.

Teach us to number our days that we might present to You a heart of wisdom. 

Daily we have opportunities to be about the Father’s business. There is a lot of need for good to be done. But the question is, are we doing instead of being? Are we so focused on the work that we forget the relational components?

I know there are seasons when quiet moments to simply be still are few and far between. I know it can feel like the noise from all the needs is making you feel under so much pressure that your ears might bleed. I’ve been in that place. But God. My two favorite words in scripture. But God invites us to be still and know that He is God. We are not.

If we listen to the invitation, take the risk and press pause, tune our ears to His voice of love, acceptance, Presence, we just might be renewed. We just might be filled up to be poured out for the good of others. We can’t keep pouring out without being filled up again.

What’s keeping your head down, girlfriend?

Does lifting your head sound impossible? Do you see only obstacles instead of opportunities? Do you need options?

I’m a trained listener, a person who journeys with others who need and want a guide as they learn along the Way.

Curious to know more? I’d love to hear from you.

 

Are You Hanging onto Fear?

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Two days this week I came to the computer with ideas about being brave and found I had nothing to say. I was stuck. I told myself its ok come back later, but of course, later never came. I didn’t guard time to write, so time wasn’t there.

I wrestled with why I challenged myself to work through this devotional 100 Days to Brave? I questioned my sanity, my purpose, my raison d’ etre (five years of studying French peeks out on occasion)

I came to an existential crisis point. Why do I want to tell you to let go of what’s holding you back and lean into the unique creation you are? Why do I want to encourage you to be brave, to learn what that looks like in your life, to take a first step?

I want to help women connect with the passions God has placed in them for their good, for other’s good, and most of all, for God’s glory. Click To Tweet

I have been hanging onto fear. Fear that no one will care about this message. Fear that these words go no where, that writing and speaking this message is a waste of time and money. Fear that I’m not listening to God’s Word accurately and I’m doing this for my own selfish gain. Fear of resistance, of ridicule, of rejection.

Getting honest about fear is a bit scary; as I continue to learn about myself through the lens of the Enneagram, it makes more sense why I get scared. At my core, I don’t want to feel pain. I want to have fun. I avoid conflict because conflict is painful and looking at the underside of my emotions is hard work.

But God.

My two favorite words in Scripture. Best search I ever worked through; try it.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I came to my time with Him this morning without an agenda. I simply wanted to sit in His Presence and have coffee with Jesus. After I read the portions of Scripture in my Bible reading plan, I read today’s entry for Jesus Calling. 

Take time to be still in My Presence. The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always proffer to you.

I got comfortable in my chair, held my warm cup of coffee and sat quietly looking outside through the sliding glass door into our garden space. I watched the changing morning light illumine the persimmon tree in our neighbor’s yard, the orange-red fruit standing out against the green leaves. I noticed a finch search the feeder for just the right seed. What caught my attention was a hummingbird lighting on the bubbling water feature. It dipped its beak into the water hovering slightly above the water spilling over the slick turquoise orb, then all of a sudden, the hummingbird sat in the center of the bubbler and began to take a bath.

The freedom, the enthusiasm, the fearlessness all spoke to me in the hummingbird’s hesitation, then the jumping in. As I watched, these lyrics crept up to my consciousness

So let go my soul and trust in Him

And just like the shifting morning light, the awareness of my fears paled in the Light of this phrase.

So let go my soul and trust in Him

I was being invited forward. Come, Further up and Further in.

The invitation is for you too, my friend.

I see your face in my mind; your eyes rimmed with tears you’re blinking back; your brave smile trembling.

He is for you, just like He’s for me. God wants His daughters to walk in freedom; to be able to live as He has designed each of us; moment by moment learning from Him the unforced rhythms of grace.

The invitation to Come to Me isn’t a one time invitation. Jesus invites us again and again and again. You might take your eyes off of Him for a myriad of reasons; Come to Me remains the same, simple invitation. 

Learn from Me, watch how I do it. 

I’ve been hanging on to fear. I’ve been clinging to things that have weighed me down, hindering me from the life purpose God has given me. 

Right now, I’m choosing to be brave, to share my inner struggles to help you see you’re not alone in yours. The beauty is the precious invitation to Come is whispering at the edge of your conscious thought; listen and respond.

Let go and lean in.

You won’t regret it.

Perhaps you’re wondering how to get started? Or how to get back?  

Call a friend. Message me. Comment below (I read them before they get published so if you don’t want your comment published, tell me.) 

Bravely take the first step.

I leave you with this beautiful offering. Enjoy.

It is Well 

What Inspires Courage in You?

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Happy First Friday in October!

I love autumn or fall, whichever you prefer to call it. The colors change, even in California. Certainly not as gloriously as other parts of the world but the crisping of the air, the change of the season inspires me.

I’m not sure why, but this time of year seems to carry me forward into doing new things instead of slowing down like the plants are doing as the temperature cools.

This fall, the new thing I am doing is recognizing the little ways I choose to be brave. I want to pay attention to the feelings of uncertainty, of fear, and instead of allowing those feelings to shape my thoughts and actions, I am choosing to take a brave step to deal with the issue at hand.

I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave, by Annie F. Downs, her devotional published last October. Daily she talks about what brave is and invites the reader along on the journey to unlock your most courageous self. 

Today she spoke of courage. I love that word.  I am a word-nerd. True story: when I was a freshman in college, in my first semester, in the fall of 1975, I would go to the Library and read the Oxford English Dictionary of Word Origins. Maybe it felt safe to hang out where people were, even if I didn’t know them; a 17 year old kid who knew no one created a sense of belonging in the library. That is a story for another time.

I hung out in the library reading the OED of Word Origins not once or twice, but weekly for a couple of months. Not because I had a course requirement; I fell in love with knowing where words come from and a bit about how they came into being.

Courage is one of those words. Why did it stir in me a desire to stand up straight, square my shoulders and take a stand? There is a reason. It’s an awesome word!

The origin of courage is latin, the root is cor and it means heart. 

When you take courage, you are receiving strength of heart, of purpose, of meaning. 

 

Courage is similar to brave not only in meaning but also because we don’t think of ourselves as having courage or being brave in little ways. But somedays it takes courage to simply do the next thing. 

We need to be reminded. We need to be willing to ask God for courage and then to take a small step of courage to be strengthened to do the next thing. 

One step leads to the next. After a few courageous steps you may realize you’re stronger than you know. 

What’s most important is that we take that brave first step.

Why? to What? Asking Different Questions Matters

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I’m a curious person by nature. I remember getting in trouble for asking, “Why?” 

I still ask a lot of questions. How about you? See? Another question!

Now I get to ask questions in my work. As a coach, I listen, ask questions of my clients, and help them discover their next action step in work, life & faith. It’s the best career for a curious person.

So here’s my question for you: What was a recent brave thing you did?

Was it getting out of bed this morning to face a daunting to do list? Was it dealing with a difficult person at work? Or facing the fact that your parent is declining quicker than anyone was ready for?

Being brave doesn’t just mean dealing with BIG struggles. Being brave can come in quiet ways, too.

My most recent brave thing happened today.

Today is my birthday. You might think, ‘How did you have to be brave on your birthday?’ It starts with a memory.

When I was little I used to announce a countdown to my birthday, beginning two months ahead of the big day! I wanted to make sure EVERYONE knew my birthday was coming and just how old I was going to be. My Mom would make whatever flavor of birthday cake I wanted, even if I wanted two flavors. One year, my 9th birthday, she made a layer cake with one layer of chocolate and one layer of banana cake with whipped cream and fresh banana slices in between with chocolate frosting all around. That was amazing, and obviously memorable. 

I suspect she went out of her way that year because we had just moved to a new part of town and I was in a new school. My birthday comes only a month into the school year and as a new student, I hadn’t made friends to ask to a party. Sad. So my Mom went out of her way to make our family time special.

Even as I write this I’m tearing up because I realize how the past 11 birthdays have not been the same since my Mom & Dad died. I guess I try to be brave and cover over the sadness so I’m not a downer, but in reality, I miss them. 

We had a crazy, complicated, and dysfunctional family. But it was my family. I’ve supported the livelihoods of several counselors through the years (other brave stories) as I’ve worked through family of origin stuff, but they were still my family, and in spite of the crazy, I love them.

My brave act today was smiling through the sadness. 

I’m so fortunate to have a wonderful husband who took the day off so we could drive to the coast and walk on the beach. I am so fortunate to have two amazing sons who both called to wish me a Happy Birthday. I am so fortunate to have loving cousins who sent me cards and SO MANY LOVING FRIENDS who mailed cards, texted, or commented on social media, sharing loving thoughts. Such a great birthday!

I still ask the questions of God though.

Why?

Why did they have to die so young? Why was life so complicated? Why so much pain?

All the questions of a curious person.

I saw this planter at the retreat center I visited last weekend.

It’s on a beautiful prayer path with a sign post that poses a new Way to be brave:

Instead of asking Why in the face of pain, move to asking, What? 

What do you want to do through this situation? What can I learn? What can bring you glory in these hard circumstances?

Being brave may be a private act of trust; looking to God in spite of the sadness we face and placing our hope in the One who redeems all things, which includes our sadness.

What brave act have you experienced or witnessed? As Annie says in her book, 100 Days to Brave

When we see brave out in the world, it inspires us.

Share what inspires you. It just may help someone else to be brave, too.

What Does Being Brave Even Look Like?

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Starting the morning with my familiar things around me gives me a sense of place, routine, comfort.

How about you?

It’s a challenge to get outside my comfort zone to go someplace or do something new.

New-ness can be exciting like when an order from Amazon arrives. But new-ness that requires something from me, that can be scary. If it’s scary then the challenge comes to be brave in the face of my fears and in spite of the pit in my stomach.

That’s never easy. But I can tell you something true: I’ve never been disappointed when I’ve let go of my fears and leaned in toward Jesus.

What does that even look like?

It might be saying yes to spending the weekend with mostly strangers, far away from home, sharing hard parts of your story to show that the surpassing power of overcoming, and growing, and healing, belongs to God and not to us.

In hopes of learning the Way to let go and lean in, after the wonderfully challenging and filling weekend away, yesterday I started reading a devotional book called 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. The subtitle says Devotions for Unlocking Your Most Courageous Self.

Doesn’t that sound promising?

Annie is sharing from her life and pointing her readers to the One who calls us forward, who gives us the strength and courage to be our authentic self in our circumstances.

Seeing other people be brave makes me want to be brave too. Annie F. Downs

Being authentic, without putting on a false “I’m okay” front, is hard. We fear what people think about us. Will they accept me? Will they reject me? Why does that matter?

It matters because God has created us with a desire for love and belonging. Anything that puts those two desires at risk is scary.

The blank page can be scary for a writer. But if this is the work I am called to do then this is the place I need to be brave. I know God wants me to tell my story so that you can be encouraged to be brave in yours, too.

What is the thing in life that scares you?

Whatever it is that is scary, God has already been there and knows how it’s all going to turn out.

I’m going to keep on this journey, learning to let go of fear and expectation and learning to lean in toward Jesus.

Want to join me on this journey of 100 Days to Brave?

I’d love the companionship!

What Does Showing Up Look Like?

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I don’t know you noticed, but summer is slipping away. It’s August. I used to be a classroom teacher and this is the month it all starts up again. Just look at the Dollar bins at Target. School supplies are everywhere. I want to squeeze more fun out of summer before the seasons change again.

Ever feel that desperate feeling? That frantic ‘I’ve got to make the most of this time’ kind of feeling?

I tried an experiment this summer.

I challenged myself every day in July to

 

I asked myself the question: What does Showing Up look like?

I realized a few things. To show up during the lazy days of summer is different than what it looks like to show up during the work week (or school year as it were).

Less routine is beautiful…for awhile.

Parents start longing for school to start, kids get tired of seeing the same few faces every day. Teachers never have enough time at the end of the summer to prep for all their new ideas.

Routine helps everyone. There is comfort in predictable but not suffocating schedules. How do routines and schedules affect the idea of what it means to show up?

Glad you asked.

In my July experiment to Show Up I had great plans for what I would put in my days. I planned to write and be creative everyday. I planned to read three books, plus make time to garden and attend to all my responsibilities. I’ve been blessed with lots of discretionary time; flexible work schedule and opportunities for creativity or reading or beach/pool time, whatever. Wow! What a gift!

I started well, doing all the things a little every day. Then, a change in pattern happened, and it threw me off balance.  I didn’t make the shift back to a daily checklist. I had created a stressful scenario that wasn’t what fit with my reality. I told myself I had failed. Where did that come from?

It was the story I told myself. I hadn’t stopped showing up; I was showing up differently. I recognized my temptation to have a mean-spirited internal dialogue running. I made some choices. Instead of hating on myself I decided to pay attention to what I was choosing to do.

Instead I began to notice my actions.

I sat quietly to listen to the birds longer in the morning. I lingered over coffee with my husband before he left for work. I slowed my rhythm to a pace that matched my soul.

What if showing up for yourself means paying attention to how your soul wants to move and breathe?

What if learning to live in the unforced rhythms of grace means leaving room for a last minute invitation? Or adjusting plans to be able to help a friend? Or simply sitting still to notice the activity of Creation?

What I’m learning about what it means to show up in my life is a lot less driven and a lot more grace-filled.

How about you?

 

Monday Motivation: Meditation to Action

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It’s Monday. I’m facing it down and showing up. I’m also choosing to find motivation from my meditations. In my mind this is where the rubber meets the road, where my feet walk out what my heart is leaning toward. My attitude and action are under my control. For a recovering Control Freak that is an important awareness. I do have control over some things!!

Our attitudes are our choices.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

We can choose how we respond to any given situation. We have control of our response. We also have control of our thoughts. You may struggle with “monkey mind” like I do as an Enneagram 7 but even our thoughts can be captured and wrangled into submission. In coaching we talk a lot about mindset. It’s not touchy-feely, it’s neurobiology-a field of science that studies how our brain works, learns, how our feelings impact brain function, and so much more!

You don’t have to stay stuck in a rut in your thought pattern. You have the power to choose.

Let’s use a fairly common internal dialogue as an example: You make a mistake with someone’s name. In your thoughts you tell yourself a story about your memory. It’s not a nice way to talk to anyone, but you call yourself a name and pair it with how your memory works. You have just created a neuropathway about your ability to remember names.

Guess what? Your brain looks for connections to string thoughts together in order for the brain to work more efficiently. The pathway gets strengthened every time you tell yourself that story. This is how your thoughts get formed and you get in a rut of stinking thinking.

How can you change that pattern?

Step 1: Pay Attention. Listen to the way you think about a circumstance.

Step 2: Stop it!

Photo by Luke van Zyl on Unsplash

The moment you recognize you’ve had a repeat thought that you want to change, you stop, acknowledge the negative thought as the “old way” of thinking.

Step 3: Immediately tell yourself the new Truth you want to replace the old thought with. It’s helpful to actually say it aloud if your circumstances allow.

Ancient wisdom tells us much about our thoughts. We can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We can let our minds dwell or camp on Truth not on lies.

I’ve been sharing my meditations on Matthew 11:28-30 on Wednesdays this month. You can read the past ones here and here. There is ongoing benefit to meditation with your brain function too, but I won’t overload you with neuroscience! Just know that there are a multitude of benefits for meditating on God’s Word, one of them being transformation.

As a coach, I’m all about transformation. I’m pretty sure that’s aligned with God’s heart for us since we’re called to grow in Christ-likeness. Learning how to let go of thoughts and habits that keep us from being all we can be, learning to lean in with Jesus is worthy life work.

Let’s make meditation transfer to action. If you have questions about what the process of coaching with me is like, let me know. I’m happy to address your questions here or any of the other places you can find me: online or on the phone!

Learn a new Way. Take a step forward. Reach out for help & accountability.

 

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