Learning Along The Way

Of Change & Learning

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A great question and ponderous statement were posed to me the other day, one through a book and the other a tweet. Both are thoughts that have run through my head recently but now spoken, I see the opportunity to share reflections for others’ benefit.

 

The ponderous statement comes from the book “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa TerKeurst. At the end of chapter 3 she encourages the reader to respond to this statement: “Soon, saying yes to God will no longer be a discipline of your heart but rather the delight of your life.”

 

The great tweet question was sent out by Trisha Goyer asking: “How have you seen God’s renewing work in your life, and in your family, in the last year?”

 

My response to both Lysa and Trisha comes in the discipline of writing, not just thinking. Jeff Goins encourages in The Writers Manifesto: “It’s time to begin”.

 

Some events are milestones and some seem ordinary. Milestones are like the peaks of mountains; visible from great distance. Ordinary events, well, they’re ordinary. As crazy as our culture is we discard the ordinary and seek after mountaintop experiences.

 

I could list the mountaintop, milestone events of this past year for our family: two graduations, a wedding, job changes, moves, starting college. A full year in anyone’s life. Yet it’s not the milestones that have renewed me. I have learned to delight in the ordinary because that is where I live and meet with God.

 

My website and coaching business name express my view of life: learning along the Way. The ordinary events of life, moments really, are the stuff of holy wonder. A hummingbird hovering above nectar-filled flowers; a heart shaped rock on a sandy shore. The laughter of sons now grown. The sweet memory of little boy giggles (why can’t I see the keyboard right now?)

 

God is in both the milestone and ordinary events showing Himself in a variety of ways. I have learned acknowledging His Presence makes all circumstances extra-ordinary. In the day to day of laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep, yard work, working outside the home, family and friend relationships, and whatever else is in a day, hitting the pause button to say Thank You has been the take away of this year.

 

In fact, I will be so bold to say taking time to give thanks to God is His will for those who name His name.

 

There are many wonderful authors who are writing boldly, pointing to The Way, but one in particular has been used by God to transform and renew my mind this year, Ann Voskamp.  Her chronicles at aholyexperience.com consistently bring me to practical awareness of the hushed life with God moments that are every where. If you aren’t reading her writing you are missing out.

 

This year of saying Yes to God and His transforming work has brought big change in me and in our family: our moving out of our home and into destinations unknown to us has been a huge area of trusting Him moment by moment. I couldn’t have done any of this without the strong, solid foundation of knowing God through His Word and the testimonies of His children. That foundation has been built over decades of learning new choices and ways of being along the Way.

 

God is faithful. He is at work both in the world and in me to bring about His purposes. Do you know Him? Do you partner with the Creator for others’ good and His glory? If you do, please share what He’s up to in your part of the world. If you’re not sure about your answers, email me and let’s converse!

Spooner's Cove

Of Journals and Journeys

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This is the cover of my latest journal.  True confession: I am a journal junkie.  I love the varieties of textures, covers, and styles of spines; the lined, unlined, or graphed papers.  I like them small enough to travel well or book size for the year’s life progress.  I use journals to record thoughts and gather quotes; to write out my prayers and reflections on what God is showing me in His Word.  I have a journal to count gifts and a journal to keep work notes.  I have been journaling since I was a teen, but there’s not a diary format among the ones I have saved.  They chronicle the testament of the faithfulness of a good God who loves well and has been working through the circumstances of my life for my good and His glory.  My journals are one of the ways I measure change.

I recently took my dozen saved journals down from the shelf and packed them away in preparation for this part of life’s journey we’re on. It was good to see those covers again, knowing the season of life each one represents, and knowing the season is in the process of changing yet again.

This new journal has a specific purpose.  It’s my journal of reflections for an online Bible study I have joined.  I’ve never done this.  22,000 women have signed up to Say Yes to God through Proverbs 31 ministries.  I am privileged to be taking part in the study; to be reading this book at this time.  The cover of my journal is perfectly suited. Listen to this quote from the book What Happens When Women Say Yes to God:

“Outside our comfort zone is where we experience the true awesomeness of God.”

I can testify to the truth of that statement.

When I have my hands open and palms up, not clenched around the thing or attitude or “the way we have always done this” or (fill in the blank), then I’m able to receive what God has in mind.

Our comfort zone keeps us insulated from experiencing the awesomeness of God.

We had a stirring that God wanted us to make some changes in our life as this season of full time parenting came to a close.  We listened to the prayer requests of some young professional women and realized God wanted us to be part of His answer for them.  How awesome is that?  To be used by God in the lives of others?

We rented our home of 15 years before we had a place to move.  We trusted God with the next step.  He provided in the form of a temporary landing spot while a family traveled around the country this summer. 

We prayed for a new career move for my dear hubs. He applied; we waited. He interviewed; we waited.  My go to statement for this season has been: “What is unknown to us is not unknown to God.” We have been an anomaly to our friends; why we would pull up roots without a place to go or a plan or a clue has been beyond them.  It’s been beyond me too at times!  Which is why I’m calling this our Abraham Summer.

God called Abram from Haran (in modern day Turkey) to “Go forth from your country, And from your relatives And from your father’s house, To the land which I will show you;” and Abram went.  Out into the desert, on foot or on camel.  Over 400 miles.  We don’t see him asking questions.  He packed up his belongings and headed out to the land I will show you.  That’s faith. And that’s trust.  We don’t have much record of the development of Abram’s faith in God to that point; we know later that Abraham’s faith was reckoned as righteousness.

Trusting God as I move outside my comfort zone has been very challenging and yet very stabilizing in the midst of a lot of work and chaos that comes with sorting and cleaning and shedding stuff.  Those who walk with me have seen and shared my tears.  It is scary stepping out into unknown territory, leaving what is familiar to accept the Whatever of the future.

Lysa TerKeurst says the whole of Scriptural commands can be summed up in six words: Whatever God says do, do it.

Radical obedience.  That was what Abram, who God later called Abraham, did.  Why should we be any different?

The family of our temporary digs will be home in 4 days.  We will be off on the next part of the journey by then. 

Stay tuned.  There are more reflections from the road that will be forthcoming.

What has God called you to do that you’re hesitant to do?  What is one step of obedience you can take today?

How Do You Measure Change?

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A week ago I was in a different state. Not state of mind, although that is true too, but state in this country. All the way across the country from where I live. A day of flights, layovers and missed shuttle later and I was in a hotel with over 700 women gathering for what turned out to be an amazing 3 day conference:  She Speaks.  There were fabulous speakers, Lysa TerKeurst, Michael Hyatt, Holley Gerth, to give you an idea, and so much learning that I am still processing it all a week later!

Which brings me to the question, How do you measure change?  How do you recognize when something is different when it seems change happens subtly?

The change you’re experiencing may come in seconds like a set of waves at the edge of the ocean.

You may be caught off guard, the change comes and you get wet since you weren’t paying attention.

Or change may happen so slowly that you’re not sure what’s different, you just know something is.

Keep an eye on the shape of this creek…

There is a difference of a week between these two shots. Intense power redirected the path of this creek that leads into the vastness of the ocean. In.one.week.

The week before the creek was winding its way to its goal. Now it is a straighter path.

A week ago I was eager. Now I am reflective. I am full of learning and now slowly processing the impact of change.

How do you measure change? How do you know it’s happened?

Hezekiah on his sick bed cried out to God for more time on this earth; God heard and answered through the prophet Isaiah that Hezekiah would have 15 more years of life.  How was that change measured?  The shadow of the sun went back up the stairs 10 steps. (read the story here)

The change was measurable.  It was recorded for us to read.

How are your changes measured? Through your memory only? Or do you record change for reflection, for your family, for the future generations to look back on?

How are you capturing the changes in your life?

So Much Life Happens

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Some seasons of life feel like they drag on.  Remember how long summer vacation was when you were a kid?  It’s still the same length of time between school ending and starting again but as an adult it flies by now.

Perhaps you’re looking forward to a big event like your wedding.  The waiting can seem endless.

As a Mom living in the diaper stage, potty training can’t come soon enough!  Or some of you are anxiously awaiting your kids start of school so you can have time to yourself again.

Just know that it all flies by and then…memories.

SO much Life happens in relatively short periods of time that you can forget to slow down and reflect.  Appreciate.  Rejoice.

I am so thankful for photographs that capture moments and stimulate memories.  I slowed down this morning to look back at the happenings in the lives of our family in this past year.

College graduation.

2 1/2 months later, a wedding.

Senior Portrait for the final year of high school.

Blink!

The Senior year has come to an end and his Tennis coach is thanking him for a great 3 years as his team manager.

Where did that time go?

Then that celebration day came.too.quickly.

And then off on the adventure of this 18 year life time…Europe for 3 1/2 weeks.

Envy is a sin.  I need forgiveness.

What I need daily is what you need.  Time to reflect. To take stock. To say Thank You.I come here twice a week for just those things. Solitude. Listening. Reflection.

The result for me is Peace.

I am grateful for the life that happened this past year.  Joy and sadness blended together. Real life. Fast and fleeting.

I am grateful for photos that remind me. Friends that walked with me. Family that supports me.

And most of all my Lord Who loves me perfectly.

Be Transformed!

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Romans 12:1-2 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

 

What is the one thing that keeps you from stepping out toward the big dream you have?

What if that one thing was removed from your path?  Would you step forward?  Or would you find one more thing that’s keeping you from taking that step?

 

As I have listened to women talk about their dreams of what is still ahead in life there is often a sadness; a focus on “if only”.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is tied to an event in the past.  Sometimes that ‘if only’ is attached to an expected outcome.  Both are rocks in the path that cause them to stumble.

 

We do not live in the past.  We do not know the future.  We live in the gift of this moment; the present.

 

The events of our past may legitimately be terrible experiences.  We may have scars to prove it.  If we stay focused on the ‘if only’ we are clinging to a false sense of reality and denying the sovereignty of God.  Boom.  That’s harsh but true.  How do we let go of the past?

 

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

I’m not saying pretend that bad things didn’t or won’t happen.  I’m saying put the true bad things in the Hands of the One who saw and has the power to redeem.  And then LET GO.

 

Clinging to the past keeps us from having open hands to the present.

 

What if your issue is looking ahead and anticipating the bad things, the stumbling blocks that could be or might be in your path?  The opposite side of hanging on to the past is worry about the unknowns of the future.  What do you do if you’re plagued with worry?

 

The answer is still the same: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

Renewal comes from God.  His Word is life, truth, light to our path.  Get in It.

 

Well-intentioned, faithful women (I include me in this) have stumbled again and again in similar ways.  What keeps us from simply being renewed? From simply doing the work of verse memory? From living out what we say we believe?  From trust that God will come through?

 

Mindset. 

 

It’s the familiar path your thoughts take when you are faced with something new.

 

Stop for a minute and think about how you talk to yourself (either aloud or in your head)

 

Are you loving and encouraging in the face of mistakes or unknowns?  Or are your words harsh, critical and demeaning?  Do you say things to yourself you would NEVER say to a friend or a child?  If your mindset is a negative one, you set yourself up for discouragement and setbacks time and again.

 

The work of changing your mindset needs external support.  Talking out your dreams and aspirations and facing the real or perceived rocks in your path can help you in the work of transformation.  That’s what I do.  As a Christian Life Coach my role in my clients’ lives is to listen and ask questions; questions that help each client clarify what is their next step to take.  I have the distinct privilege of sitting with a woman, prayerfully listening for God’s wisdom for that woman and asking the question that causes them to ponder below the surface of the everyday.

 

“Knowing what is right is like deep water in the heart; a wise person draws from the well within.” (Proverbs 20:5 The Message)

 

Let go of the past.  Look forward with joyful anticipation.  Live in the present.

 

Sound too good to be true?  Let’s talk.

Life Lessons: Learning in the Classroom of Mom

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Have you ever stopped to take inventory of what you life lessons you’ve learned from your Mom?  I don’t mean the lessons where she told you “I want you to know how to do this”.  I mean the lessons that were “caught” not “taught”.

I have.  They are many.  I confess I am not as good at them as she was in doing them.  But I learned from her the most important value.

Invest in people.

My Mom was an Educator.  She taught English and Journalism and Leadership.  She inspired students to go to college; to step out of their comfort zones; to dare to go beyond what they thought they could do.

She invested in her colleagues in the same way.  She gave without asking for any favors in return.  When she was in charge as a high school principal she made sure others had opportunities to step forward in their careers.

She invested.  I watched.  I learned.

 

 

She built up her teaching staff through involvement in site and district wide professional development.  Life long learning was something she modeled and preached.

She invested.  I watched.  I learned.

 

 

My Mom loved her friends.  She invested herself in life long friendships. This particular group were friends in college. They laughed. They cried. They traveled. They remained friends to the end. The three of this group who remain all came alongside me during my time of grief.

She invested.  I watched.  I hope I have learned.

 

My Mom LOVED her grandsons.  She invested in them. Every. opportunity. she. had.  She read to them.  She played with them.  She encouraged their imaginations.  She fostered their creativity.  She taught them about far away places. She took them there.  She inspired them to be great men.

 

She invested.  I watched.  I was blessed.

 

In the desire for balance in all things, I would be remiss if I did not account for the life lessons my Mom showed me.  I learned to push past my fears and hardships to take steps forward in ways many others have not been encouraged to do in their own lives.  I definitely would not be the woman I am without the influence of my Mother.  God knew what He was about in the design of this woman who was my Mother.  He knew what I needed to be able to grow and change; to learn to be my utmost for His highest.

I am still learning in the classroom of Mom.

What about you?  What is one life lesson you’ve caught from your Mom?

 

Opportunities to Connect

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I was privileged to participate in an amazing life-focusing experience recently.  I participated in a group that read and discussed the book you see pictured above.  This is my copy of this marvelous book by Kim Avery titled, Uniquely You:Discover Your Life Purpose.  Notice the cover is bent and worn.  Proof that I’ve opened it more than once!

I’ll tell you what, this book has been a fantastic, easy to read, and transformational tool that God has used in my life. No exaggeration.  I would love all my friends and their friends and their friends’ friends to be able to read and interact with other women about this book. It’s that good. Really. That good.

Listen to these questions Kim asks:

  • Do you feel overworked, overwhelmed and unfulfilled?
  • Do you ever wonder if you are missing out on God’s best?
  • Do you know and live out the purpose God has for YOU?

I asked Kim if I could offer a book group using Uniquely You.  She said Yes!  I’m so excited to be able to offer YOU a group!  There are a couple of different opportunities to connect.  I am offering two group options during the month of May:

Each group will meet all 5 Fridays for one hour either

  • 1) in the mid-morning at my office, or
  • 2) at noon PST on the phone through my bridge line (you can be anywhere!)

This book is easily read and discussed in a small group of about 5.  It will take you a personal time commitment of 10 minutes a day each week.  The book is written to be read in a 4 week format.  I want to offer the discussion group for 5 weeks to give enough discussion and processing time.  At the end of the book, you will have the option of a personal coaching session with me to allow you time for “What’s Next” after all you learn about yourself during our group time and through your individual reading times.

Interested?  Want to know particulars?

Leave a comment below; email me through my website; message me on Facebook; direct message me through Twitter, or simply call me!

You need to act quickly because of both limits of space (5 in a group) and time (to order the books!)

Depending on the number of women interested, I am considering offering the group again during the summer.  If your schedule prevents you from participating in either of these two times in May let me know.

Payoff for Sacrificed Sleep

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Some mornings I wake up early and I’m not happy about it.  But this particular morning I woke early, got dressed and jetted outside. This was my morning view.

And as if this wasn’t enough of a payoff for lost sleep, I was blessed with another image I’ll share below.  But I have to tell you about it before I show you.

A few years ago I read a terrific book by Mark Batterson, titled Wild Goose Chase.  I won’t give it away but suffice it to say the title is the English translation of the Celtic term for the Holy Spirit: An Geadh-Glas.  The book truly is a tool the Wild Goose used to open the eyes of my heart in new ways to see His work in and through me.  Read it.

This pond above is at a local retreat facility where I had the privilege of spending the weekend speaking to a fabulous community of women.  They chose Col. 3:12-17  for their key verses and I had the task of sharing about God and His transforming work.  Even the process of getting to the retreat was evidence of God at work: our one car had to be in the shop and I was without transportation.  One of the lovely women from my own church community graciously offered me their car for the trip. God is in the details people.

The photo above was taken Sunday morning, after my offerings of 4 talks centered on the chosen passage.  What a gift this early morning was.  How does this tie into Batterson’s book. you ask?  In his book he encourages, well challenges, Christ followers to trust God in bigger ways.  For me the immediate trust was what He wanted me to say of my life’s brokenness to demonstrate His transformation power to these women.

It was hard to walk back through dark places.  It was emotionally painful for me.  But it was what God called me to.

When the sun rose on Sunday morning I was up.  And when I went outside, seeing the sight above, I heard an unusual bird calling.  And I looked over and saw…

A Canadian goose and her gander.  They had stopped off on their way back north.  I wept.  Following the Wild Goose this weekend, women were encouraged in Christ’s work in their lives.  I was humbled to have been a part.

I want to follow this Wild Goose wherever He leads!

 



 

Vision

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When you are starting to build something from random pieces, the only thing that will guide your hands is vision.  You have to have a picture, an idea, a vision of what you are building to really make it happen.

Legos have step by step wordless directions.

Architects listen to customers and go to their drawing boards (well, now it’s computers) to draw out the picture of the customer’s ideas before the building begins.

God, who is the ultimate architect, had vision for this Creation.  He has vision for you, too.

I have the privilege of speaking at a women’s retreat this weekend. I appreciate prayer.  The architects of the retreat have a plan. They cast the vision for me.  They gave me the outline.  Today the vision will become reality.  I’m really excited and privileged to be with these women whom I have not yet met.  Their hearts for God, their desire for community, inspire me.

Have you ever thought about what God’s vision is for you?  Next week I am going to share a vision for the future, your future, and I will invite you to join me in making reality.  Intrigued?  I hope so!

Check back next week!

Morning View

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This is the view out our front window at 7:00 AM.  The somewhat pixel-y photo was taken with my phone camera.  At the time, I was struck by the quality of the light and the abundance of the jasmine and geraniums in bloom outside.

Then as I looked again, I started to notice the items outside: the ladder, the bicycle flag, the galvanized planter, the arrangement of pots on the sill.  The ladder was really used to paint many walls over many years by my grandfather.  It was in his garage and after he went on to be with the Lord, I asked my Dad for it. He was worried that it was not sturdy enough; “Don’t you want a newer metal ladder?” No, I had a plan.  That was 15 years ago before garden art was trendy. I saw something else: a way to remember and honor my grandfather and create something of beauty. But I digress.

Each of those items outside has a story attached.  After my Mom passed away, my dear friend Melissa took care of our plants and pets for a time while we were away.  I came home to a lovely vignette of potted plants that she had potted and arranged to bless me.  That was 6 years ago.  The view still blesses me.

I am currently reading a book about seeing.  Not how we see like a science book but what we perceive as we see the everyday.  It’s called Windows of the Soul, by Ken Gire.  It was published in 1996.  Not a new book, but new to me.  As is his premise: the circumstances of life are never just about what you see.

Perspective is everything.  But shifting our perspective can be hard.  Sometimes it takes the eyes and perspective of another to help us see what is; to see the same circumstance from a different view.

There have been many who have helped me see differently.  I need that; seeing differently.  Through much adjusting and much practice my morning view takes in far more than what I see in front of me.  But that adjusting and practice has taken time and effort.  A new way of seeing is the result of long term investment.

Are you in need of a new view?  Invest in your growth and personal development.  Time, focus, prayer are all tools that you have access to right now.

The one thing that may be missing: an encouraging voice and another set of eyes.  A voice to cheer you on, to see what is without the perspective that may be holding you back from seeing all that there is about you.

You need a coach.

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