Learning Along The Way

Do You Know What You Know?

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Monday.

Somehow this poor day of the week has gotten a bad rep. Can we pin the bad rep on the  ’86 Bangles hit Manic Monday?

Photo by Rob Bye on Unsplash

I don’t think so. A quick search turns up decades more negative associations with Mondays; the beginning of the work week seems to be the culprit.

What if we shift our mindset from ‘bummer in the summer’ on Mondays to a more upbeat, positive spin?

What if over the next month we daily decide to think differently about something rather than let our brain shift to neutral and simply play the default response pattern?

I love learning. I’m wired like that. I know not everyone is and I don’t want to lose you here but if you can bear with me for just a moment, I have a good point to make and science and faith practices to back it up.

It’s said that our minds are the center of our functions as human beings. So if we change our thought patterns, we change our beliefs, which in turn shapes our actions. Neurobiology is showing that as we have a thought, a neuron fires looking for a connection point to continue moving the thought forward. As we think we develop neuro-pathways. When we think the same thought more than once, that pathway is reinforced. Think it multiple times a day and we develop a deep groove in our brains. This process is how we memorize, how we bond with loved ones, how we learn to drive, how we form opinions and so it goes.

If we don’t like the way we feel about something, we can change our thoughts about that and our feelings will follow. Sounds simple, right?

Because of what we have learned about how the brain works, shifting a mindset is a long process of repetition that must be done with awareness and intention.

In other words, one decision does not change one behavior.

Bummer. I’m always on the look out for easy, aren’t you?

Back to Mondays. I used to think Mondays were the worst. I dreaded the beginning of the week because it was work. And work meant hard, repetitive, boring drudgery. No wonder I didn’t like Mondays! Is this you?

Do you know what you know? Are you intentional in your thoughts, plans and actions? Click To Tweet

I began shifting my mindset about Mondays before I had learned anything about the science of change. I made some conscious choices to prepare for Monday on Friday before I left work. I created a habit of closing out the work week by preparing to come back Monday morning with as many tasks ready to begin as possible, minimizing the jolt of hitting the ground running on Monday morning.

Some people might label that perfectionist. As a Enneagram 7, the Enthusiast, my stretch line goes to 1 which is called the Perfectionist or Reformer. I had to learn to be consistent and disciplined like that; it’s not a dysfunction unless you HAVE TO HAVE things just so. Side note: do you know your Enneagram core type? I coach using the lens of the Enneagram so if you want to know more, let me know!

Here is my Monday yellow notepad motivation for us all:

Deciding isn’t the hard part.

Follow through is the challenge for me. What about you?

A Change in Perception

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As a life coach I’ve had the privilege of learning about the power of perception. Our minds are amazing creations. So complex, so creative, so essential, so powerful.

As we perceive something, (see, interpret, etc.) our perception influences our way of thinking. If we form a thought once there is an imprint. But if we repeat that thought our brain creates a pathway of connection. And the more we think that thought the stronger the pathway. This forms our mindset.

A mindset frames how we respond to any situation in which we find ourselves.  The amazing thing is we don’t even realize we’re responding from this place because our brain chooses the reinforced pathways. It’s like taking the easy, familiar way home. You just do it without thinking.

You’ve heard of fixating on something right? It’s all you can think about?  The thing you’re fixating upon and the way you’re thinking about it (positive or negative) is also a way of reinforcing your thought pattern, your mindset. Or if you attended school at some point in your life, you had to memorize some list of facts. Math facts or grammar rules or state capitols. To memorize is the process of creating those reinforced pathways in our brain.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s in that place we are strengthening our mind set about any number of things: a person, an attitude toward something like broccoli or more widespread like social mores. If something has been hard, or traumatic what we tell ourselves about the experience is also part of establishing our mindset.

Now here’s the best part of all this great scientific neurological information: God’s Word already speaks to this! What?! Yes indeed.

In Paul’s letter to the Romans he contrasts what we focus our minds upon in this way: 8:5-6

“For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.”

In the margin of my Bible I wrote the question What is my mindset?

If you struggle like I do to think rightly about yourself, God’s Word speaks to this too!

“Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

I can’t fully capture in words the freedom that has come to me and continues to unfold because of stopping the crazy thinking I heard and holding each statement up against that list.

Like what you ask? A thing I heard a lot growing up: “This is all your fault!” What I have told myself: “I am is not good enough”. So I developed a warped mindset about myself and have lived out of perfectionism and performance for approval for decades. Decades. And in the places I haven’t achieved my desired result? I tell myself things I would NEVER speak toward another human being. I know I’m not alone.

When I catch myself going down that familiar mental abuse path, I am quicker now to put up a Stop Sign on my thought path and hold up that thought to the list:

Is this true?

Is this a noble thought?

Is this accurate?

Is this a pure thought? Would I be comfortable sharing it with the world on social media?

Is this a lovely way to view myself? Or someone else?

Is this an admirable character trait?

Is this excellent or worthy of praise?

I don’t have to go through the entire list to see that my negative self talk doesn’t line up. I want to think God’s thoughts for others, but as Jesus rightly said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.”

If I leave my perception of myself as it has been, then I am out of line with God’s thoughts about me and others. This awareness has come slowly and so is the internal change. But it’s so much better now than when I first started on this path of living in tandem.

The power of Christ within His followers is life giving. We can change the way we think, the way we respond. I know this is true because God has done great things re-tooling my mindset over the years of looking into His Word, of asking for His help and healing, of being “transformed by the renewing of my mind.” (Romans 12:2)

If you find yourself responding to a new circumstance in a way you don’t want to that’s the place to plant a Stop Sign for your brain. You can create a new pathway to think.

Think on these things…

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Focus. Practice. Sacrifice.

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A constant focus on adversity defeats many Christians. They walk through a day that is brimming with beauty and brightness, seeing only the grayness of their thoughts. Neglecting the practice of giving thanks has darkened their mindsIt’s Monday. Sometimes just saying ‘it’s Monday’ can bring a deep sigh; a ‘here we go again’ mindset about the daily grind. After a longer break from routine for most, this Monday may have more challenges than usual. This morning I read the day’s entry from the devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and was reminded of a few things.
* Giving thanks takes focus give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess. 5:18)

* Giving thanks takes practice … and be thankful; …with thankfulness in your hearts; …giving thanks to God (Col.3: 15,16,17)

* Giving thanks is a sacrifice Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. (Heb. 13:15)

Focus. Practice. Sacrifice.

These are words that are associated with training, with work; and work takes effort.

Many friends have made the effort and used social media this month to name what they are thankful for on a daily basis. I have been blessed and encouraged by their posts. You may be one of them. I am thankful to God for you as you live out …let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24)

So if today you’re focusing on the drudgery of your responsibilities, may I suggest a shift in focus? Look for things to be thankful for. Name them. Thank God for each one.

Practice thanking God for the little things. This work has a promise attached to it:
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7)

And who among us couldn’t benefit from a peace that passes all understanding in the middle of our day?

Grace to Learn

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What is it about learning that takes so long for some and goes so quickly for others? I’ve studied learning theories for years; the variables are endless. In the final analysis, it boils down to one common statement: learning is unique to each individual. Parents know this as they watch their children learn to feed themselves, walk and talk. No one goes through learning in exactly the same way. Wise parents give their children room to try, practice and make mistakes, knowing that the missteps are tools in learning what does work.
Interestingly some of us lose sight of this truth, developing unrealistic expectations of ourselves that we apply to all aspects of our lives. I’ve been spending the past year learning about mindset and it’s affect on our actions. I have also been at work changing mine (mindset) in several areas; one of which is how fast (or slowly) I learn something and what I tell myself in the process.  This actually relates in a big way to why I have been silent in the blogosphere for this past year. Without diving into too much detail, I have spent a great deal of time attempting to learn how to develop my own website using lots of tools and support services available. Notice I said “attempting”. In this process I learned several things: html code is full of details; I have an unrealistic mindset of how quickly I can learn and apply new knowledge; I don’t give myself much grace.
I don’t know if you struggle with an unrealistic mindset/expectation, but I’ll tell you what, it’s a burden! How I think affects how I act. No one “sees” my thoughts but they do see my actions and re-actions. I am hard on myself when I can’t do something quickly and correctly. I have said many unkind things to myself that I WOULD NEVER say to another human being. This internal dialogue leaks out in ways I had not seen until I started to learn about Mindset. Anybody else like that? Where does a negative mindset come from? I have recognized that knowing how I formed a negative, unrealistic mindset is not as valuable as knowing how to change my mindset. I’ve also learned I can’t change my mindset without encouragement and accountability.

Knowing where I am (in this case a negative, unrealistic mindset) and where I want to be (speaking grace to myself when I can’t do something quickly/correctly) has been a big part of my learning along the Way this year.  People close to me know that when I have learned something I think is worth sharing I am ready to burst with excitement to share!  I’ve decided to use my blogging as a venue to share what I’ve been learning, ever hopeful that it will be a benefit to others.  As you see me writing more, I’d love to hear from you.  Or if you are the quiet, vicarious learner just subscribe to my RSS feed.  Either way, I’d appreciate knowing if what I have learned is making a difference for others.

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