Learning Along The Way

Perfectionism Keeps Us From Jesus

By

I had something gently pointed out to me three different ways between yesterday and this morning.

All three were foundational and revealing.

Perfectionism keeps me from Jesus.

Yesterday demonstrated what a piece of work I am. Fault finding, critical, irritable about everything. Wanting to have things go the way it should go. And at the time I didn’t mind sharing all my angst with the entire world; most closely noticed by the Hubster and our collegiate son. Not fun for anyone.

Perfectionism is the outer shell trying to appear to have life all together. All the while the inner world is filled with insecurity, uncertainty, and sometimes shame. Perfectionism is me trying to fix myself, control my circumstances and rely on my own understanding.

image-9

Before the end of my emotionally chaotic day the Spirit whispered to me; inviting me to confess my failed attempts at keeping myself together while my toxic feelings leaked out. I took Him up on that invitation, pressing the RESET button for the remainder of the evening after a tearful confession of my internal struggles that impacted the external.

This morning I read Jesus Calling and it reminded me not to try to present my cleaned up self to Jesus; “wounds that I shut away from the Light of My Love will fester and become wormy…they can split off and develop lives of their own…”

Then I also read My Utmost for His Highest entry for today.

‘If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish—His purpose is the process itself.”

The foundation is Jesus. He is here with me and there with you all.the.time. The foundational truth is based in His one invitation:

Come to Me.

That’s it. In the turmoil of unresolved issues that foment emotional upheaval we can find rest for our souls. Click To Tweet

I don’t have to try to fix me or my circumstances. Neither do you.

Whatever you are facing, the Perfect Invitation awaits your response.

Come to Me.

Your circumstances are not likely to change. I know, bummer.

But here’s the miracle: you are offered the opportunity to be changed from within by the Presence of God Himself. That’s what spiritual formation is like. Choosing to say yes to Jesus’s invitation to come to Him, quiet your mind, heart and soul and be at rest in His Presence. The coming to Jesus results in His peace that passes all understanding. This peace is a result of letting go of our idea of how things should be and leaning into the yoke that helps keep us in step and keep company with Jesus.

Relax. He’s got this. His purpose is the process itself.

*Sigh*

Where have you seen perfectionism get in the way of relationship with Jesus and others?

It’s November! What’s Next?

By

Since November is often identified with things we’re thankful for, I’ve decided to spend some of my blog focus this month on books I’m thankful for.

I have a long list of fiction and non-fiction books that have been a delight to me over many years and recent titles as well; some overtly spiritual and those whose authors are spiritual people but have written in an under wraps manner.  I hope you’ll find this series one that encourages you to read (or re-read) at least one of these recommendations.

Today I want to express my love and appreciation for the book My Utmost for His Highest.

IMG_7252

I first heard of this book in 1996. I had recently joined a Bible study at our new church. The woman who spoke at the Bible study simply quoted from the devotional, but the quote really resonated with me. At the time our sons were ages 7 and 1. I was a busy woman to say the least.

“My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest—my best for His glory.”

It hit me like a sock in the stomach. How was I determined? What was my purpose? Mostly to get through the day, not focusing on being the best person I could be; more like not killing my sons or yelling at my husband. That quote both convicted me and sent me to our local Christian bookstore, the Parable. I found a hardbound “modern” version that was on sale and scooped it up.

I have used the daily devotional as a journal of sorts. I didn’t think much about it at first but as I have read and re-read I write the year next to my underlining and I am reminded of what I was going and growing through at the time.

IMG_7267

Oswald Chambers spoke these words, he didn’t actually  write these entries.  His wife was a stenographer before they married and kept herself focused during Oswald’s lectures at the Bible Training College of London by taking down her husband’s words as he spoke them.  It wasn’t until after Oswald’s untimely death at the early age of 43 that she was encouraged to compile his lectures into the format we know now.

I have read this devotional for 18 years. It is the greatest tool in God’s hands in my spiritual growth; second only to the Bible itself.  Oswald is not an encourager. There is no fluff. He often calls me out in a very direct manner pointing out an area of my life that hasn’t been brought to God in the process of being made like Christ. Oswald used vocabulary that was common to his day which was late 1800s to 1917 when he died from complications of an emergency appendectomy. No antibiotics in those days.

From today’s entry:

“Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come?”

No fluff. Just straightforward questions and pointing us to our need for staying close and reliant upon the Holy Spirit to live ‘worthy of the calling with which we have been called.’

If you are looking for a daily devotional that will challenge you to grow in your faith and trust of God you need look no further.

My Utmost for His Highest–my best for God’s glory. I am truly thankful for the teachings of Oswald Chambers. God has used them in my life for His glory.

Living in Tandem Isn’t Flashy

By

il_570xN.328961664

It’s Day 21 of #write31days and I feel a bit like I’m on a long distance bike ride.  It’s not always cute like this picture; it’s just what you do. Just keep pedaling.

It’s rather like living in tandem.

Oswald Chambers wrote of Living in Tandem too. He often wrote about discipleship and discipline.  Being a learner and demonstrating what you’ve learned. He phrased it this way:

“We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently.

But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus.”

IMG_7268 2

I’ve read and re-read this book. My thoughts and way of living have been shaped by Oswald’s devotional thoughts. Can you see how many times I’ve been impacted by these particular words?

IMG_7267

We can all be good at starting something. But it’s been said that the life of a Christ follower is more like a marathon than a sprint. Eugene Peterson wrote a book whose title also speaks to Living in Tandem:  A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. His writing encouraged me years ago to recognize that the change I desired to see in myself is promised but not on my timeline. Change comes by God and in His timing; which is always perfect but outside our 24/7 time frame!

Life is so very daily you see. We sometimes lose perspective. If we’re doing this all in our own strength we are likely to also lose heart along with perspective.

Learning to live in tandem with the One who made you takes time and perseverance.  When the following words first stood out to me it was 1998.

“We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes.”

God is Present and is willing to give you strength to keep moving forward through this day and toward His heart. It’s not flashy but it’s more than enough.

image-3

From where does our help come? It comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. 

Embracing Rest

By

I like slow mornings. I have learned that though after years of setting my alarm to get up in the dark before my family so that I could

Be still and know…

IMG_7250

Now that I don’t have to get up early to get ahead of the morning rush, I can sit in stillness & quiet and be filled.

The need for filling is the same though. My soul needs to know and experience the Presence of God as much now as then. The filling has different uses in this season.

As a mom of littles I was desperate for a sense of peace in the middle of tears, diapering, sibling squabbles, meals that were objected to, misplaced special friends at bedtime. I was exhausted from all the giving of myself. What I thought I needed was more sleep, which of course was interrupted almost nightly by someone.

I shared my frustrations and exhaustion with a group of moms at the park one day. One seasoned mom who had been invited by another quietly asked if she might share an idea that might help.  Since I was desperate I quickly said yes please.

She said “Imagine you are a cup and each one of your family is a straw in your cup. Picture adding a straw for every responsibility outside your family: work outside your home, volunteering in the community, at church, extended family, etc.  Not all the straws need to draw from your cup daily but some do. And when all the straws need to draw from you at once what will happen?”  It was easy to imagine the cup being drained dry. I felt it. A lot.

You have to be filled up before you can be helpful to others.

But how?

The answer looks differently for each of us and will look different in various, changing seasons.  The first and foremost way though is to start with agreeing that you have a need for rest.

Embracing Rest instead of believing you can be all things to all people in your own strength is the key to finding the best ways of filling your soul.

For many years the most I could do was a variety of little things throughout the days. I love to listen to music of all kinds but it took a comment from my mother to point out that I wasn’t sharing my love for music with my littles. She asked “Why don’t you have music on all day anymore? Your kids would probably love it!” Her question gave me an idea. I started playing music that was upbeat when we needed to get ready to head out for the day and when we did our chores. When it was a quieter time of day I played music of classical composers that I enjoy. Little by little the music had a comforting affect on all of us.

When my littles were transitioning out of naps I still needed a break so we instituted rest time which everyone needs. I put a digital clock in the bedroom and on a 3 x 5 card wrote the numbers of the time that rest would be over. When the numbers matched, they could get up. Calling it nap time to a 3 year old was disastrous. Calling it rest time and giving him the power to know when it was over was money. And ironically he usually fell asleep amid the books on his bed! And of course I got the much needed quiet as well!

I had to learn how to get my cup filled up at the beginning of the day too. For years I had set an alarm to get up early enough to avoid rushing around in the morning to get out the door for work. I hate having to rush. But I had stopped doing that when I began the role of stay at home mom thinking I had all the time in the world and could make my own schedule. Ha! It took me too long to recognize needing more sleep wasn’t the only way to rest.

When I began to set my alarm to get up before my family it was a huge shock to my system. So I adjusted slowly by getting up just a few minutes before their waking pattern so I could get a cup of coffee and read a short devotional.

IMG_7252

These are the three that have filled me up over the years. Such great inspiration and Word focused encouragement for the day is found in each of these. I didn’t read all three of them each day… I’ve just lived a lot of years!

Those few moments each morning were just enough to remember that I wasn’t on my own in this job of being Momma. Learning to go to the Source of wisdom & strength daily was filling enough. God multiplied my feeble coming on those sleepy mornings. He changed my priorities from selfish to self care. If He did that for me I am confident He will do that for you…if you ask.

And I am a different woman; embracing rest He offers moment by moment has been key to living in tandem with Him.

Follow Me…

Categories